Sorry about my radio silence (oh, I will be on “Wait Wait” in 10 days, but that’s not what I’m talking about…) - I’m cramming in a lot of work into the early part of this week so I can spent the latter part on my Christmas present. Which will be a new (and hopefully wonderful and non-lethal) experience…

The Inauguration is almost here! I still can hardly believe it. Change is coming!

Now let’s remember, just like Mr. Obama keeps saying - this won’t be easy. Change doesn’t come easy. It takes work. Hard work, dedication, a willingness to change the way we live. And we can’t sit back and let President Wonderful do it for us. We all have to pitch in and help make the world we dream of. Selfishness and shortsightedness must be replaced by a new sense of community and destiny. It’ll be tough, but we can do it. Yes we can!

Of course, my personal role isn’t clear yet. For one, I’m really, really busy these days. What with the baby and the several jobs and the blogging and whatnot, I’m kind of booked up. And look - we have to get credit for being a little ahead of the Change curve anyway. Already doing our bit. We recycle, and we’re really conscientious about it. Rarely will I throw away a bottle or can unless it’s super-gross and rinsing it seems nasty. So, like, cat food cans maybe don’t get recycled so much. But most stuff does. Also, Jeanne drives a Prius. I frequently bike to work. Alright, the other car gets like 10 miles per gallon, but I can think of more than one household I know that is wayyyy more dependent on foreign oil than we are, people who own overpowered SUVS and have been known to drive to their own corner to buy a bag of tortilla chips (sorry, Mike and Julie, but if the shoe fits…). In some ways, the nation is going to have to catch up to US in the change department, really. In some ways.

What I’m getting at is that when it comes to the Yes We Can stuff, I have to say that we’re already in the Yes We Are category, or damned close to it, and that’s just going to have to count for now. It’s not like I can take the day off to go pick up trash on the side of the highway or invent a magno-gravicar or chain myself to a humpback whale or whatever. Sure, I’d like to - who wouldn’t? - but I just can’t.

So what I’m saying is that I think we can all pull together and radically change our nation and our world without me personally changing anything. We’re gonna have to, really. And remember, I was in favor of everybody pulling together and really working to make the world better before it was cool. Back when a lot of people were against it. That’s gotta count for something.

So don’t think I’m not on board. Let’s DO IT, people! I’m with you. I’m going to keep doing my part by, you know… talking about change. Giving an occasional buck to the homeless guy. Holding the door for people I don’t even know. You know - a lot of the little things that other folks don’t think to do. And a guy who’s already giving 100% (or at least 10%) just by living right should probably not have to change so much until some of the people who haven’t been quite as on top of things change their lives. You know, the Mike-and-Julies of the world. They should have to change first, or change more. It’s only fair. [Sorry, guys!]

Because we need everybody to do their part, whether you’re inventing gravicars, chaining yourself to whales, or rinsing out a semi-gross can for the recycling. Combine all those things together, and do you smell that delicious smell? What is it? It’s a giant Change Omelet of the future, cooked up by all of us in our own little ways. Can we get there? Can we make that omelet? Yes we can!

I’ve just returned from Stowe, VT where I was skiing, snowshoeing and eating enough to fend off the pesky benefits of exercise.

I’d like to thank the young men who cut trails there in 1937 as part of the New Deal.  If it weren’t for them, my buttocks would not be purple after encountering a rogue rock on steep hill of groomed ice I never would have been able to enjoy that unique recreation amongst natural beauty.

Now, over 70 years later, Stowe is owned by AIG by the federal government!*  In the lodge you may have overheard me saying, “Hey, my tax dollars went to make these curly fries, so they better be totally Smurfy!” and “Buy a lift ticket?  I bought the resort!”  Anywho, we stayed at the Von Trapp Lodge and I returned with four extra strudel-related pounds memories and this original vid I made of my souvenirs.  Crank up the speakers, pop a Xanax and enjoy.**

Continue reading this entry »

“BORED? SHOULDN’T YOU BE HUMPING?”

“DEAR GOD - YOU WEREN’T FOLLOWED HERE, WERE YOU!?”

“DIG, DIG?”

“WHEN THE GOING GETS TOUGH - RUN THE FUCK AWAY!”

“YOU DON’T HAVE TO BE TIMID TO WORK HERE, BUT IT HELPS!”

“FOR A GOOD TIME, CALL… ANY OF US!”

“WE DON’T MAKE EXCUSES - WE MAKE RABBITS!”

“TWO LEGS BAD, FOUR LEGS PROBABLY BAD AS WELL.”

“CAN YOU EAT IT? CAN YOU HUMP IT? THEN DON’T TOUCH IT!!”

Hey Fan Ap’ers! Adam’s little sister Susie here again.

It’s only 20 days, people.  Are you excited?  Me too.  But are you as excited as this reporter I spied on CNN this morning, who simply could not contain his true feelings about our future leader and the stimulus to come?

No, it’s not mature. But the poor man’s deer-in-the-headlights eye bulge makes me want to watch it again and again. In fact, I think that’s what I’m going to do now. Ciao!

PS Happy New Year!  I resolved to keep being as awesome as I am, and so far, so good.  What are your resolutions?  I’m genuinely interested.  Let a sistah know in the comments.

I’ve been holding off on commenting on the choice of Rick Warren for the pivotal Obama administration role of “guy who says goddy stuff for two minutes and then leaves forever.” My position is deeply nuanced, delicately balanced, and hard to decipher, but here it is:

I’m for it.

Yup. And it’s not that I’m for it despite the anguish and fury it’s causing among some of us on the left. I’m for it because of the anguish and fury it’s causing among some of us on the left. We need this. It’s shock treatment, but it’s necessary.

Back in 2000, George Bush oozed into office with the promise of reaching across the aisle, changing that partisan tone in Washington. We’d just been through eight of the most bitterly partisan years in our history, a bullshit impeachment, a fantastically traumatic and divisive “election,” and we needed change. And we got change. We got eight years of significantly more bitter partisanship. Yeeha!

Did Bush not understand what cooperation and bipartisanship looked like? Was he lying about his desire to bring it about? I honestly don’t think so. I think he was weak, and weak people do what is necessary to stay on the side of their friends and allies, rather than trusting their friends and allies will stay on their side. Continue reading this entry »

My friend Adam’s dad, Arthur Spiegelman, died yesterday. Here’s the story, from Reuters, naturally:

Renowned journalist Arthur Spiegelman dies at 68

LOS ANGELES (Reuters) - Arthur Spiegelman, one of Reuters’ finest writers and longest-serving correspondents, died at home in Los Angeles on Saturday. He was 68.

In his 42 years with Reuters, Spiegelman deployed his sparkling prose on presidential elections, the diplomatic turning points of the Cold War and showbiz murder trials…

You’ll want to read the rest. He was a completely remarkable man. What’s not mentioned in the article is his completely remarkable family, who loved him deeply. I’m sorry to make the shortest day of the year a little darker, but at least we all know it can only get brighter from here on out.

Friends being funny. Funny, funny friends. [Can you tell I’ve been reading a lot of children’s’ books lately?]

First up, Paula Poundstone has just released her first ever CD, available here. What? Her first CD? Yes. My sense is that she was waiting to make sure that it wasn’t some kind of fly-by-night technology. She was understandably cautious after her disastrous 1984 stand-up release, available exclusively on View-Master disks.

Also, my friend Victor Varnado’s movie, “The Awkward Kings of Comedy,” is coming soon to a method-of-seeing near you, and the trailer is now online. Yes, finally a film featuring the comedy stylings of Victor and several other black nerd comedians. Oh, they’re very “street,” but it’s a street populated by muppets. They’re the kind of guys who spent the 70’s annoying everybody by riding the subways carrying around those giant calculators, noisily figuring stuff out while you were trying to read your newspaper in peace. Something something something “deft jam” (note - build a bridge to hilarious “deft jam” joke before publishing this entry…).

Watch this space (or, yes, that website) for more on the movie as it develops.

Forcing hundreds of reporters to laboriously cut-and-paste his unspellable name, Governor Rod Blagojevich had the rug pulled out from over him today by US Attorney Patrick Fitzgerald.

At first blush, this quote from the affidavit seem pretty damning:

During the call, ROD BLAGOJEVICH stated, “unless I get something real good for [Senate Candidate 1], shit, I’ll just send myself, you know what I’m saying.” ROD BLAGOJEVICH later stated, “I’m going to keep this Senate option for me a real possibility, you know, and therefore I can drive a hard bargain. You hear what I’m saying. And if I don’t get what I want and I’m not satisfied with it, then I’ll just take the Senate seat myself.” Later, ROD BLAGOJEVICH stated that the Senate seat “is a fucking valuable thing, you just don’t give it away for nothing.”

Or this:

In regards to the Senate seat, ROD BLAGOJEVICH stated “I’ve got this thing and it’s fucking golden, and, uh, uh, I’m just not giving it up for fuckin’ nothing. I’m not gonna do it. And, and I can always use it. I can parachute me there.”

This too, seems somewhat incriminating:

ROD BLAGOJEVICH said that the consultants are telling him that he has to “suck it up” for two years and do nothing and give this “motherfucker [the President-elect] his senator. Fuck him. For nothing? Fuck him.” ROD BLAGOJEVICH states that he will put “[Senate Candidate 4]” in the Senate “before I just give fucking [Senate Candidate 1] a fucking Senate seat and I don’t get anything.”

Blagojevich’s lawyers quickly cautioned against rushing to judgement, saying that “there are perfectly innocent explanations for some of these statements, which have been taken grossly out of context.”

The lawyer was asked for a possible exculpatory context.

“Um… a giant… reverse… sting operation? Or a rehearsal… for a school play? There are many, many plausible… things… here.”

I hope you all had great turkeys/veganturkeysubstitutes.

We Felbers gathered in New York, and had a tremendously good time. El Baz met his cousin Hugo, his Aunt Susie, Uncles Ed and Mike, two doggies, and of course, The Granny. He now has a very good opinion of all of the above, although he complained of a bit too much face-licking from one or two individuals (ahem- Mike!).

Pictures are forthcoming.

Eight months seems to be a particularly good age to take a baby on a plane. Or maybe Baz is just a particularly good baby. Either way, by his second vodka tonic he was a complete angel, though a little overly sentimental.

Now we’re back in LA, and I’m hard at work on that comic book. I’ll tell you more soon, but for now, just know that it’s a five-book series, it comes out early next year, and it involves… SKRULLS! Yes, Skrulls!

No, I didn’t know too much about them either. I’ve never really been a Comic Book Guy, at least, not a devoted fan, not enough to cringe appropriately when someone invokes them nasty Skrulls.

But why should that stop me? Excelsior!