http://twitter.com/adameft

Yeah, I know. But it actually might be a good fit for my current lifestyle.

Don’t worry, I’ll soon figure our a way to pipe the Tweets into this blog, and you’ll be able to enjoy a bunch of inscrutable microposts in comfort and style.

Say what you will, and yes, Obama’s speech was great, but I have to disagree with the cynics.

So stop “hatin’,” people, and face it. Yesterday, out of Louisiana, we were given a glimpse of the future of politics.
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Hi all!  Adam’s sister Susie here again.

Since you didn’t ask, I’ve been very busy lately.

First there’s my time spent keeping a mental list of the many economic downturn terms that are unintentionally sexy.  I can’t help myself.  When the velvet-tongued Kai Ryssdal talks about hard times, the need for greater transparency and Obama’s huge stimulus package — I experience liquidity.

Then, there’s my day job.  I am psyched to brag tell you that the dumb blog I toil on is a SXSW Awards finalist.  Altogether way too much more on that development here.  If any of you are going to or are in Austin for it, let a sistah know.

In other developments, I’m now the breadwinner in my family.  I have no problem with this.  In fact, I was really excited.

But then I found out you don’t actually win any bread.  As soon as my husband went freelance, I was skipping into Pathmark saying, “Pumpernickel?  Baguette? Lavash?  Hit me!”

Embarrassing, to say the least.

But seriously folks, here’s wishing you a happy Valentine’s Day, and if it isn’t happy, well, you can always kvetch in the comments below.

xoxo,

Susie

At least three. I mean, people were telling me I looked great.

Oh, we didn’t win, of course. Saturday Night Live did. But really, it was an honor just to be publicly disappointed at a primo table right near the stage in full view of most of the cameras!

Seriously, though, a great time. I’d never been to an awards show, unless you count the 1995 MTV VMAs. And I wasn’t nominated for anything there, though Steven Tyler did choose to sweat directly on me, which felt like something of an honor.

But the night was not without drama. See, I didn’t have a suit - haven’t had one in far too long, in fact. But I did have a Macy’s gift certificate. So Friday morning, on my return from “Wait Wait,” I stopped off, and with Jeanne found a terrific suit at a jaw-droppingly good price. God bless the fiscal meltdown!

So I pick up the freshly-cuffed suit yesterday, take it home and put it on a few minutes before our HBO-supplied car arrives. Jeanne already looks beautiful, and we’re goin’ in style… a Hollywood power couple, about to breeze down the red carpet…

Which is when I discover that something is wrong with my suit. It seems too small. It will not button, no matter how aggressively I pull at it, and I’d eaten kind of light all day, to boot.   I pull and I struggle and I eventually have to face facts: This is not my suit. It is, in fact, upon inspection, 4 sizes too small.

I called Macy’s in a panic, and they went into a panic. 5 seconds later, the phone rings - our driver is here.

What could we do? I’m wearing a shirt, tie, dress shoes… and shorts. The driver takes us not to the awards but to Macy’s. By the time we arrived, the staff had determined that my suit had been mistakenly given to a “Mr. Strange” (no lie).

We raced around the store searching for a replacement, because there were no more of my suits available. Jeanne found one that seemed to fit, more or less. They called a tailor in for an emergency look, she did her thing with the pant cuffs, and we waited anxiously as she sewed and the awards show preliminaries ticked by. There were moments of comedy (in retrospect), as when Jeanne went to look for my misplaced belt, unaware that she was carrying my shorts with her, meaning I spent at least some of my Big Awards Show cocktail hour prowling around near the changing area of Macy’s in a shirt, tie, underwear, and dress socks, trying to attract Jeanne’s attention out on the floor in a stage whisper while semi-hiding behind clothing racks.

Soon, though, the tailor finished her rush job, I jumped into the suit and we were off.

And we got there before cocktail hour was over. The whole thing was a great time - we ran into lots of old friends, old idols (Carl Reiner was there, receiving a special award, introduced by his son), and lot of people, who, like me, were Honored Just To Be Nominated. A great time, and my equanimity had been restored. Although, if sometime during the evening I had been introduced to a man in a smart charcoal suit and a name like, say, “Doug Strange,” I’m pretty sure I would’ve punched him in the face.

…and it was great. I’ll post something this weekend, but now, if you’ll ’scuse me, I’ve got to step out to Chicago for a quick Waitwaiting.

Meanwhile, and I’m trying to put this delicately, please enjoy the rantings of the most colossal Dick in the history of mankind.

Sorry about my radio silence (oh, I will be on “Wait Wait” in 10 days, but that’s not what I’m talking about…) - I’m cramming in a lot of work into the early part of this week so I can spent the latter part on my Christmas present. Which will be a new (and hopefully wonderful and non-lethal) experience…

The Inauguration is almost here! I still can hardly believe it. Change is coming!

Now let’s remember, just like Mr. Obama keeps saying - this won’t be easy. Change doesn’t come easy. It takes work. Hard work, dedication, a willingness to change the way we live. And we can’t sit back and let President Wonderful do it for us. We all have to pitch in and help make the world we dream of. Selfishness and shortsightedness must be replaced by a new sense of community and destiny. It’ll be tough, but we can do it. Yes we can!

Of course, my personal role isn’t clear yet. For one, I’m really, really busy these days. What with the baby and the several jobs and the blogging and whatnot, I’m kind of booked up. And look - we have to get credit for being a little ahead of the Change curve anyway. Already doing our bit. We recycle, and we’re really conscientious about it. Rarely will I throw away a bottle or can unless it’s super-gross and rinsing it seems nasty. So, like, cat food cans maybe don’t get recycled so much. But most stuff does. Also, Jeanne drives a Prius. I frequently bike to work. Alright, the other car gets like 10 miles per gallon, but I can think of more than one household I know that is wayyyy more dependent on foreign oil than we are, people who own overpowered SUVS and have been known to drive to their own corner to buy a bag of tortilla chips (sorry, Mike and Julie, but if the shoe fits…). In some ways, the nation is going to have to catch up to US in the change department, really. In some ways.

What I’m getting at is that when it comes to the Yes We Can stuff, I have to say that we’re already in the Yes We Are category, or damned close to it, and that’s just going to have to count for now. It’s not like I can take the day off to go pick up trash on the side of the highway or invent a magno-gravicar or chain myself to a humpback whale or whatever. Sure, I’d like to - who wouldn’t? - but I just can’t.

So what I’m saying is that I think we can all pull together and radically change our nation and our world without me personally changing anything. We’re gonna have to, really. And remember, I was in favor of everybody pulling together and really working to make the world better before it was cool. Back when a lot of people were against it. That’s gotta count for something.

So don’t think I’m not on board. Let’s DO IT, people! I’m with you. I’m going to keep doing my part by, you know… talking about change. Giving an occasional buck to the homeless guy. Holding the door for people I don’t even know. You know - a lot of the little things that other folks don’t think to do. And a guy who’s already giving 100% (or at least 10%) just by living right should probably not have to change so much until some of the people who haven’t been quite as on top of things change their lives. You know, the Mike-and-Julies of the world. They should have to change first, or change more. It’s only fair. [Sorry, guys!]

Because we need everybody to do their part, whether you’re inventing gravicars, chaining yourself to whales, or rinsing out a semi-gross can for the recycling. Combine all those things together, and do you smell that delicious smell? What is it? It’s a giant Change Omelet of the future, cooked up by all of us in our own little ways. Can we get there? Can we make that omelet? Yes we can!

I’ve just returned from Stowe, VT where I was skiing, snowshoeing and eating enough to fend off the pesky benefits of exercise.

I’d like to thank the young men who cut trails there in 1937 as part of the New Deal.  If it weren’t for them, my buttocks would not be purple after encountering a rogue rock on steep hill of groomed ice I never would have been able to enjoy that unique recreation amongst natural beauty.

Now, over 70 years later, Stowe is owned by AIG by the federal government!*  In the lodge you may have overheard me saying, “Hey, my tax dollars went to make these curly fries, so they better be totally Smurfy!” and “Buy a lift ticket?  I bought the resort!”  Anywho, we stayed at the Von Trapp Lodge and I returned with four extra strudel-related pounds memories and this original vid I made of my souvenirs.  Crank up the speakers, pop a Xanax and enjoy.**

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“BORED? SHOULDN’T YOU BE HUMPING?”

“DEAR GOD - YOU WEREN’T FOLLOWED HERE, WERE YOU!?”

“DIG, DIG?”

“WHEN THE GOING GETS TOUGH - RUN THE FUCK AWAY!”

“YOU DON’T HAVE TO BE TIMID TO WORK HERE, BUT IT HELPS!”

“FOR A GOOD TIME, CALL… ANY OF US!”

“WE DON’T MAKE EXCUSES - WE MAKE RABBITS!”

“TWO LEGS BAD, FOUR LEGS PROBABLY BAD AS WELL.”

“CAN YOU EAT IT? CAN YOU HUMP IT? THEN DON’T TOUCH IT!!”

Hey Fan Ap’ers! Adam’s little sister Susie here again.

It’s only 20 days, people.  Are you excited?  Me too.  But are you as excited as this reporter I spied on CNN this morning, who simply could not contain his true feelings about our future leader and the stimulus to come?

No, it’s not mature. But the poor man’s deer-in-the-headlights eye bulge makes me want to watch it again and again. In fact, I think that’s what I’m going to do now. Ciao!

PS Happy New Year!  I resolved to keep being as awesome as I am, and so far, so good.  What are your resolutions?  I’m genuinely interested.  Let a sistah know in the comments.