This real and really bizarre news from the Food and Drug Administration was the perfect excuse to exploit my adorable nephew (pictured) and his dad (that Adam dude, my brother) in an original slap dash video effort here on my day job’s blog. Enjoy!
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108 comments
waterfowler
May 14, 2009 at 12:02 pm
1Almost as bizaare as the EPA claiming that CO2 is a pollutant.
cooper
May 14, 2009 at 1:57 pm
2Yeah, Susie, I saw that article in the newspaper. I must say this is a classic example of government bureaucracy gone badly amok. It gives me a serious case of the fantods to say this, but “I agree with waterfowler on this.” And having made that startling confession, I feel I need to take a shower now. Excuse me. (Hey, wf)
Hoot Smalley aka Pigwidgeon
May 14, 2009 at 2:08 pm
3Now that Cheerios has been deemed a pharmaceutical, does this mean the price will skyrocket?
If so, I recommend tacking a big tariff on exports to foreign countries. We should also tack a big import tariff on cholesterol fighting products from outside the U.S. It’s the only way out of this
deprecession. Make the foreigners pay for it. Trust me on this.P.S: I hope you got some substantial advertising bucks from Fisher Price.
tim
May 14, 2009 at 2:29 pm
4waterfowler, it’s not that CO2 is a pollutant in general, it’s only when it reaches high concentration levels. Republicans, on the other hand…
I’m off to go doc-shopping for a Cheerios prescription. If Rush can do it with OxyContin, Cheerios are fair game.
dee
May 14, 2009 at 5:02 pm
5Oh sure. The child is happy now. But wait till he comes down from his Cheerios buzz and starts dragging himself through the negro streets at dawn looking for an angry fix.
David
May 15, 2009 at 4:11 am
6WF,
By your logic, H20 is being called a pollutant when so much is falling from the sky that it causes massive flooding. You haven’t been hitting the Cheerios again, have you?
I must admit it was my favorite cold cereal when I was living in Manhattan summer of ‘64 and summer of ‘65. Yes, dee, I did find myself wandering the angry streets, but it was usually on the way to a late night spot in the Village.
On Steven Johnson’s THE INVENTION OF AIR: find it, get it, read it. Remember, we do have our favorite source for such things, the good folks somewhere outside Seattle.
M. Moskowitz
May 15, 2009 at 4:57 am
7(Psst. Baz. Over here - your “Uncle Mo”. It looks like you’re holding, dude, and like you’ve been dipping into the stash too, if you know what I mean. Heh, heh! Listen, I need a favor. Hows about you start practicing you terrible twos tantrums? Practice makes perfect, as they say! Start screaming at the old man to stock up on nutritious, clinically proven Yeti Spaghetti. Tell him it’s your favorite, you know a source with really good prices and quick delivery, and then fall down on the floor and start convulsing, pounding with your fists, and turning blue until he caves. Believe me, next year you’ll be so glad that you put in the time now to perfect the art. And I will, too. Just our little secret, okay? That’s my boy!)
J. Bo
May 15, 2009 at 10:29 am
8The first Cheerio is free…
Zee Man
May 15, 2009 at 11:44 am
9OK. It’s Friday afternoon and if that’s not enough to put you in a good mood, consider this. Karl Rove is before a grand jury today, trying to ‘plain away that pesky little kerfuffle about those lawyers being fired for political reasons. Here’s hoping the prosecutor is a junkyard dawg.
Dale
May 15, 2009 at 8:37 pm
10If they make Cheerios illegal I know at least one 2 1-2 year old who will turn to a life of crime in a second (assault with a deadly Pampers, shriek with intent to kill etc…). Thank goodness there’s no need for her to go trawling the back alleys Dee, she can still get her fix at the local grocery. (Ha ha, it almost seems like the illegalization itself is the problem! What a silly thought!)
S. T. Agnew
May 16, 2009 at 6:59 am
11“Three things have been difficult to tame: the oceans, fools and women. We may soon be able to tame the oceans; fools and women will take a little longer.”
Now that global warming and the oceans have been subdued and there’s no longer a reason to worry about rising sea levels and Cat 5 hurricanes, we can turn our attention to the Democrat Party and uppity females. Is this a great time in history to be alive and an American, or what? That’s not a rhetorical question - I’ve been dead for 13 years now - I really want to know! Talk to me, dammit!
Vinnie
May 16, 2009 at 8:13 am
12Yo, Spiro. Talk to da fist.
Unrepentant Nattering Nabob
May 16, 2009 at 11:44 am
13Still the dynamo of insight and humane commentary, I see. Miss you almost as much as I miss the abcess in my right arm caused by cement poisoning of my blood system via a deep cut in my knuckle while working with concrete. Arm swelled to about 3 times its normal size, put me on penicillin tablets the size of kiddie footballs, and damn near resulted in an amputation. Compared to you and Richard Millstone Nixon, it was the lesser of the evils.
Concetta
May 16, 2009 at 2:35 pm
14U.N.N., don’t be so negative, dude.
SallyMutant
May 16, 2009 at 11:12 pm
15First: Awwww. What a smile! Thanks, Susie.
Second: Must disagree with FDA. The addictive properties of Chex cereals, when properly broiled with lots of butter, Tabasco, garlic powder, and a few nuts, pose a far greater threat—to our waistlines. Americans are most vulnerable around major holidays. And what about Trix and Mad Rabbit Disease? And persons who are in some-drastic-classification-of-the American-Psychiatric-Association-for-Cocoa Puffs? Wake Up!
David
May 17, 2009 at 10:40 am
16Baz, that’s what the “adults in the room” do. I’m leaning toward Never trust anyone over 3.
The FDA, unfortunately, probably got pressured by the pharmaceutical industry and was forced to adhere to the letter of the law. Best I can tell, oat bran does reduce cholesterol, but note that we are bound by a regulation which says only FDA approved drugs can make claims like this. Big Pharma ain’t letting nobody else horn in on their game. If the FDA didn’t make Big Pharma happy, the next step would be for a General Mills exec to wind up feeding the fishies in Lake Superior. Just sayin’.
Any feelers, Vinnie?
Zeke
May 17, 2009 at 11:03 am
17Hi, Susie. Now don’t take this the wrong way, because I still think you’re definitely hot, but can anyone tell me why Charlize Theron never ages and just keeps looking better and better? Or is it just me and I need to get out more?
Linus Wise
May 17, 2009 at 3:44 pm
18It’s coming: War On Breakfast.
waterfowler
May 18, 2009 at 4:58 am
19A little reality.
http://www.questar.com/news/2009_news/UVUSpeech.pdf
Mary
May 18, 2009 at 5:35 am
20Give that baby an Oscar!!!! Definitely a star! That face! That smile! That drool!!
So the FDA wants truth in advertising……..what’s this world coming to?!?!?! Next thing you’ll tell me is that Wonder Bread doesn’t build strong bones. (Or, can’t say so without FDA approval.)
denny
May 18, 2009 at 7:50 am
21Mary, it’s OK to eat your Wonder Bread, but drink your milk as well. Oh, and there is Boniva for the lactose intolerant among us. The next thing you know, the goddam government will be slamming ketchup and saying it’s not a vegetable! Bozos!!
Dale
May 18, 2009 at 1:41 pm
22WF, your link to reality is broken.
Concetta
May 18, 2009 at 5:59 pm
23Well put, Dale. Well put….
Concetta
May 18, 2009 at 6:05 pm
24Oops, I hit the submit button too soon. I also wanted to add to what waterfowler said - “(very) little reality”.
Chris Harlan
May 19, 2009 at 1:08 pm
25Dale, I’ve been waiting years to say that to someone. Drat.
As to Cheerios, I guess we no longer eat them, but now do them. I’m guessing Captain Crunch (w/Crunch Berries) will never face the same issue.
Felberina! How did your SxSW excursion go?
Chris Harlan
May 19, 2009 at 1:28 pm
26PS: The insert on the Cheerios box–Lose Weight. Help Feed America–Isn’t the implication a bit cannibalistic?
gillian
May 19, 2009 at 6:17 pm
27Sparky’s good. He could be a mainstream talking head, but he’d have to lose the sunglasses, so that career opportunity will probably never happen. It’s a shame; we could use a good man on the idiot tube.
http://www.salon.com/comics/tomo/2009/05/19/tomo/index.html
David
May 19, 2009 at 9:10 pm
28I thought they were snow-blindness glasses, gillian, or at least suggestive of same. Maybe they incorporate both? Inquiring minds now really want to know.
Fearless prediction: the hammer is about to be dropped on the Republican attack machine, and the person dropping the hammer (finally) is going to be Nancy Pelosi. The reason I know she ain’t lying is that Bob Graham is essentially corroborating her take on this, and my man Bob Graham the scrupulous don’t lie.
This is just too good an opportunity that Pelosi has been handed by the looney tunes crowd in Republican Strategy Central. Truth Commision here we come, and once that can of worms is opened, weeehaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!
I want to seem some Republican nutsacks reduced to gelatinous shadows of their former selves. Keep Michelle Bachmann around and blathering, however, as the designated grinning idiot. She is just too entertaining. Who knows how far she can reach? It will be fun to watch. I gather Barney Frank had a field day with Little Miss Pinhead.
gillian
May 20, 2009 at 3:41 am
29You’re probably right, David. What do I know of such things; I grew up on an island, far from the beaten track. No TV either; I mean, how’s a girl supposed to learn anyway?
waterfowler
May 20, 2009 at 8:09 am
30Back to reality.
http://wattsupwiththat.com/2009/05/14/now-thats-a-commencement-speech/
Chris Harlan
May 20, 2009 at 12:23 pm
31Now waterfouler, there is a very good reason that Symposium was held on April 1st. I love the fact that CEO is named K.O. Rattie.
Jack Back in Iraq
May 21, 2009 at 3:50 am
32I have to agree with Zeke about Charlize (and about Susie, too - xoxoxo) and also about needing to get out (of here) more often.
The Iraqi summer is winding up and ready to throw some high heat our way. I’m never ready for summer here.
KBR is still hard at work making Iraq a more dangerous place than it needs to be. Maybe you could write your member of congress and senators to put an end to this no-bid electrical madness. Thanks.
David
May 21, 2009 at 7:58 pm
33Jack,
I’m leaning toward cutting-and-pasting and sending your comment directly to my new representative, Suzanne Kosmas, a Space Coast Democrat who replaced our hall-of-shame Republican Tom Feeney.
Be safe.
Jerry, The King of Comedy!!!
May 23, 2009 at 11:25 am
34Okay, stop me if you’ve heard this one…
A bus load of attorneys, returning from a conference, were riding down a country road when all of a sudden the bus darted off the road, over a cliff, and crashed into a tree in a farmer’s field. The old farmer rushed over to help if he could. Well there wasn’t anything he could do so he turned around, walked back to his barn, hopped on his backhoe, drove it out to the bus, dug a hole and buried the lot of them, bus and all.
A few days later, the local sheriff heard about the accident and came out to the farm to investigate. He asked him, “Jeb, why didn’t you call us when this happened? Were they all dead?”
“Well, some of them said that they weren’t, but you know how them lawyers lie.” (tish!)
Good, huh???…No? OK, I’ll get to work on another one.
Pope Benny 16
May 23, 2009 at 1:27 pm
35Guido and his darling cousin, Vincente, took good care of me during our Middle East tour, though I don’t think that tomato stain will ever come out of my robe. Anselmo explained it was a tradition to greet the Pontiff with vegetables hurled onto the stage, but such a strange way to say “I Love You!”. Between you and me, the vegetables could have been fresher.
I get back to the Vatican and all I want to do is rest in my own bed, but “NOOOOO!”… another Catholic sexual and physical abuse scandal hits the headlines in Europe and around the world. The Ryan Report pretty much puts it out there for all to see. Beatings, forced labor, young boys and girls kept inside the orphanage night and day, sexually abused, mentally stressed, and morally damaged by Irish priests and nuns who had sworn an oath the Jesus Christ himself to care for the less forntunate among us. All I can say is I’m glad it didn’t happen in Germany this time!
Franco Zeffirelli is finally speaking to me again, though usually from across the room. I fear my homilies against homosexuality hurt him deeply and I still need to build a bridge of trust back to him. Why didn’t someone tell me he was gay?!!!
Increase Mather
May 24, 2009 at 11:05 am
36Mine worthless son doth fritter away his time upon this earth, reading 3 cent “novels” and laying about on the shoreline upon long, wide and colorful cloths beneath the noon day sun of Charleston in the south of the Carolina colony. I hath beseeched him with letter upon letter to return home into Massachusetts, but they all cometh back unopened with “Return to Sender” writ upon the envelope in a handwriting not much different from Cotton’s own.
There’s work to be done and souls to be saved, here amongst the wretched and wreaking masses of flotsam that have come ashore from England, having sailed cheek by jowl for months on end upon rickety wooden ships. Mine greatest need is assistance in hosing down of the men and giving them a proper colonial scrubbing before releasing them out among the good citizens of Boston, lest they be horse whipped and pilloried for offending the noses of the gentle folk here.
I thank God for Cotton’s school mate, Caleb, who hath volunteered to help in the washing of men’s bodies. Actually, he doth do too good a job, I fear, for he goeth over and over each part of the body, slathering each man with soap and oils and then massaging these oils thoroughly into the skin. Yea, last Tuesday I hath left Caleb to finish a young blond teenage boy, while I was called out to perform a funeral and an expelling of demons from one of mine parishoner’s virgin daughters. When I doth return, Caleb hath not yet finished with this self same lad and indeed hath been persuaded to joineth the young man into the bath himself.
Mayhaps I shall write another letter to Cotton to-night.
Roger
May 24, 2009 at 1:26 pm
37While Jerry’s working on his next joke…
A truck driver frequently traveled through a small town where there was a courthouse by the side of the road. Of course, there were always lawyers walking along the road. The truck driver made it a
practice to hit any pedestrian lawyers with his truck as he sped by.
One day, he spotted a priest walking in towards town and stopped to give him a ride. A little further along, as he approached the town, he spotted a lawyer walking on the sidewalk.
Reflexively, he veered his truck towards the lawyer, but then he remembered his passenger. He swerved back to the center, but he heard a “whump” and in the rear view mirror he spotted the lawyer rolling across the field.
He turned to the priest and said, “Father, I’m sure that I missed that lawyer.”
And the priest replied, “You did, my son, but, not to worry, I got him with the door.” (ba-dum)
Vinnie
May 24, 2009 at 7:09 pm
38Yo Jerry, no need to work on jokes, when da laughs just keep rolling outta da Catholic Church…
http://www.jsonline.com/features/religion/45191277.html
Anselmo wants me ta go ta Milkwaukee an’ clean up da mess. At least it ain’t January, wit’ da snow comin’ in sideways, is all I can say.
Jack Back in Iraq
May 25, 2009 at 11:26 am
39Here’s a twist to our Memorial Day celebration. My squad is being transferred to Afghanistan effective immediately. The word is that nation building is needed more over there now. This on the face of it looks good to me.
Ever since KBR came back to town, we’ve been shuttled off to the side and to be honest, we’re bored. The Iraqi contractors we worked with daily are out of a job now, but these guys are amazingly creative. Two of the five in our group, could be construction engineers and the others are computer whizzes on the side. I think if I ever come back here, these guys will be running the show in this part of Iraq. Serious hustlers! We taught them some English and they thought us the Arab street. I’ll miss them.
I’ll be down for a while, but don’t worry. It’ll be cooler where I’m heading. That’s a plus.
G. Carlin
May 25, 2009 at 4:28 pm
40You know, the main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live.
Concetta
May 26, 2009 at 5:38 pm
41From Reuters -
Those Canadiens are real comedians, heh?
David
May 26, 2009 at 5:42 pm
42Jack,
I am looking forward to reading whatever you can tell us about realities in Afghanistan. As always, be safe.
Jerry, The King of Comedy!!!
May 26, 2009 at 5:52 pm
43It’s always been my greatest fear to be trapped in the future. Okay, so I scare easily. Sue me.
http://www.salon.com/comics/tomo/2009/05/26/tomo/index.html
Chris Harlan
May 27, 2009 at 9:30 am
44Once there was a blog here. It was fun, so many posts were sublime.
Once there was a blog here. Now, its done. Brother, can you spare a rhyme.
gregory
May 27, 2009 at 5:36 pm
45Yeah Chris, I know. It’s sad but things change.
Zee Man
May 28, 2009 at 3:54 am
46So, if people aren’t milling around here so much these days, where are you hanging? Any good blogs you guys enjoy that we can wander over to when Adam’s jammed at work?
David
May 28, 2009 at 4:00 am
47We still have Steven Colbert, but we can ill afford to try to make it through the madness without the uber-perceptive blogwit of Fanny Roborat’s master, FA world’s master of the written word and thought. Yes, I realize that Fanny answers to no one. Adam has created a monster. But back to my main point: How are we supposed to face the insanity of the “real world” without our Felber fixes. Baz could well not only pick up the slack but also take it to new heights, but that is a couple of years off, and after a stay at the Betty Crocker clinic.
Adam, we’ll take snowflakes.
Concetta
May 28, 2009 at 8:04 am
48Crook and Liars and Huffpo, Z.
Chris Harlan
May 28, 2009 at 10:33 am
491. If Fanatical Apathy fails, Rush Limbaugh wins.
2. The only people who want Rush Limbaugh to win love Rush Limbaugh.
3. The only way to let Fanatical Apathy fail is to not feed it occasionally (mostly it feeds itself.)
4. Adam, Susie, et al. have the fish food.
5. Any one who loves Rush Limbaugh shares Rush Limbaugh’s agenda.
6. Adam, Susie, et al. share Rush Limbaugh’s agenda.
7. Adam, Susie, et al. love Rush Limbaugh.
I think we see what’s happening here. I’ve had too much coffee.
Mickey
May 28, 2009 at 5:51 pm
50With that dreadful case of flu behind me, I’m feeling much better now, thank you. I’ve got all this energy and, regretably, a little too much time on my hands. I guess you can see where this is going.
I tossed a news story over the transom at the Washington Examiner the other day and they ran with it like a Bluetick hound stealing a Boston Butt. This is the story - The vast majority of the Chrysler dealerships being closed gave political contributions to Republican candidates and, in a childish fit of revenge, Obama is ordering these particular dealerships closed.
I omitted the obvious fact that almost every owner of an auto dealership in America is a Republican. I also forgot to mention that Obama had absolutely nothing to do with the decision of which dealership to close. Now every half-cocked rightwing malcontent in the country is screaming for Obama’s head. What can I say? It’s a gift.
It's Pat!
May 29, 2009 at 4:01 am
51Today’s tip: when making hummingbird mixture, just dump a 1/4 cup of sugar in tap water. Don’t boil it first, don’t add any food color. It takes a little longer for the sugar to melt, just stir a couple times. The mix will last longer and I think the birds like the taste better.
I hope this helps.
Jim (OJNTNJ)
May 29, 2009 at 6:25 am
52Here’s a thought: why don’t we give It’s Pat’s! hummingbird recipe to every half-cocked rightwing malcontent in the country? A little sugary goodness might go a ways toward easing their paranoia and martyrdom complexes.
Of course, it could backfire and just give them all a sugar rush.
waterfowler
May 29, 2009 at 7:29 am
53It’s Pat, right on. I was told 1/2 cup. A little experimenting, and 1/4 works just as well.
Jim, I’m fully cocked…
Chris Harlan
May 29, 2009 at 8:42 am
54Ol’ Jim, I think you have an idea, but we should rename it Obama’s hummingbird recipe (Sorry, IP) and give it to Mickey so he can leak it to the rabid PUMA bloggers (half-cocked leftwing malcontents) so that they can claim further proof that Obama is just like Bush, that he is in deep with the beet industry, and that by removing the food coloring he is messing with the birds quality of life.
Interesting how being in the center gets you shot at from both sides.
Chris Harlan
May 29, 2009 at 8:43 am
55Hey, Mickey. Thanks for the post.
cooper
May 29, 2009 at 8:50 am
56Hey waterfowler. My daughter is moving to your fair state next month to be near her boyfriend at Fort Hood. He’s coming back from Iraq in a couple of weeks. You and SallyMutant take good care of her okay? And don’t be letting her get any more tattoos or piercings, for chrissake. I’m counting on you.
dee
May 29, 2009 at 10:11 am
57I think It’s Pat has a great idea. We can post household hints or recipes here till Adam remembers us. This is one I’m making for our end of the year choir party tonight:
Fruit Salsa with Cream and Cinnamon Tortillas
For the salsa:
1 Granny Smith apple, chopped
1 Red Delicious apple, chopped
1 quart strawberries, chopped
2 kiwi fruit, peeled and chopped
1 -2 cups chopped pineapple
1 tsp lemon juice
2 Tbs cinnamon, divided
1 tsp nutmeg
for the creamy stuff:
1 container vanilla yogurt
1/2 whipped cream cheese
for the dipping things
8 flour tortillas
cinnamon
sugar
butter flavor cooking spray
Mix all the chopped fruits together with the lemon juice, 1/2 tablespoon cinnamon and 1 tsp nutmeg. Chill
Mix the vanilla yogurt and cream cheese together in another bowl. Chill
Spray the tortillas with the cooking spray, sprinkle with a mix of the rest of the cinnamon and a little sugar. Cut into eighths (a pizza cutter is perfect for this, and it’s easier to spray, sprinkle THEN cut)Bake in a 350 oven for about 6 - 8 minutes. Cool.
The concept is you mix the cream and the salsa together on your plate and scoop it up with a cinnamon tortilla chip. You can throw just about any fruit you like together for the salsa. This is all very tasty and people will be quite impressed.
Chris Harlan
May 29, 2009 at 11:33 am
58Dee, I think that is an excellent idea. And then the rest of us can make political comments on them. Let’s see. What can we do with Fruit Salsa with Cream and Cinnamon Tortillas?
Could it be a recipe for Prop 8 fundamentalists or maybe those with a lack of sympathy for an over-sympathetic Supreme Court?
Jim (OJNTNJ)
May 29, 2009 at 12:03 pm
59I hear ya bout’ getting it from both sides when your views are towards the center Chris. I’m a social liberal and fiscal
conservativeresponsibilitist myself.And waterfowler, I appreciate the flirting, but these long distance relationships never work out (just yankin’ your chain buddy, I know y’all are as het as they come).;-)
It's Pat!
May 29, 2009 at 2:02 pm
60Hey! I forgot to mention you put the 1/4 cup sugar in 1 cup of water! I like how it somehow caused a political discussion.
Hey Dee, we had a end-of-year choir party too! I brought my salsa and chips (homemade salsa, store bought chips). Drank two beers too (these are those wild and crazy Lutherans you hear about). One nice soprano made dynamite rhubarb bars (heavenly).
Jack in #39, I’m thinking of you! Be safe.
Chadwyke
May 29, 2009 at 5:58 pm
61OK, I still have a crush on Flora Lichtman’s voice, but how about actress Danica McKellar? She was on SciFri today - what a woman! She was a math major in college and has written two books - “Math Doesn’t Suck” and “Kiss My Math”. She’s every geek’s dream girl. A woman of science AND she’s really easy to look at. Danica was in “The Wonder Years” and plays Charley’s love interest in “Numb3rs” (lucky guy!). I guess I’ll just have to go to bed tonight and hope I have sweet dreams. Sigh… what a sweetheart!
Hey Danica! I think I’m having trouble with my differential equations homework. Why don’t you come over tonight and explain again how you calculate the area under the curve.
David
May 29, 2009 at 6:00 pm
62My Gator women’s fast pitch softball team (#1 in the nation) is going at it with Michigan tonight. Hell of a matchup. Stacey Nelson throws a 68 mph fastball. Can you imagine throwing a softball underhand that fast? Da-yum. GO, GATORS!
Sally Mutant
May 29, 2009 at 8:29 pm
63Chris H., gotta speak the truth to your conspiracy theory–according to the Obama Foodorama site, ‘Bam hates beets. The site is a hoot–Ag policy meets White House people watching. Well, I guess they’re both “dish”-related.
Dee, speaking of dishes, yours sounds delish.
Coop, Waco has some very nice historic bridges and it’s not too far from Kileen. That’s all the tips I have for visitors to that part of the world.
The AnnFan Club
May 30, 2009 at 2:03 pm
64OK, let’s bring this meeting to order.
To order what? A pizza to go with no anchovies? (snicker)
(Snicker)…
(Snort)….
Very funny! NOT! We’re here to vote for the motion to officially change our club name from The AnnFan Club to The DanicaFan Club, in honor of Ms. McKellar’s second appearance yesterday on SciFri to talk about her new book for middle school girls, “Kiss My Math”. All in favor…
Morse Science!
Morse Science!
Morse Science!
Morse Science!
Morse Science!
Shoes for industry!
OK that’s five in favor of the name change and one opposed. The “ayes” have it; the motion passes. Our organization shall from this day forward be known as “The DanicaFan Club”.
Who’s gonna tell Ann?
…..
…..
Maybe we can send her a letter.
Yeah that’s good. Fewer broken noses that way.
What happened to her anyway?
She used to show up several times a week.
Those were the days…
…….
Yeah.
Hey guys!!!!! Look what I found on the Google!!!!! http://skepticdad.files.wordpress.com/2009/04/danica-mckellar-math.jpg
Dude…..I’m hot for teacher.
Totally.
Zeke
May 30, 2009 at 2:40 pm
65OK. This is great - another immigrant wins the National Spelling Bee.
http://www.kansascity.com/115/story/1223691.html
Maybe it’s true that America is getting the best and the brightest from other countries. One thing’s for sure, I’ll never be able to spell her name.
SallyTireBiter
May 30, 2009 at 11:25 pm
66O lordy, a Firesign reference–that’ll get us boomer commentors going. Maybe we can all dress alike, learn to play the flute. . . and start a communal blog.
Chris Harlan
May 30, 2009 at 11:50 pm
67Porgie Tirebiter!
He’s a spy and a girl delighter.
Porgie Tirebiter,
He’s a student like you.
Like me?
He’s a student like you.
Mickey
May 31, 2009 at 9:45 am
68STILL!!, after all this time and effort, I have not been declared a bank! We’ve been hemorrhaging money trying to make this happen with little success, so I’ve had to move swiftly and decisively - the daycare has been shuttered, Trixie has been fired and Gidget has been mothballed to a retaining status. I couldn’t fire her outright. It seems she found out about my blood diamond and hashish import enterprise (shh!) and has the evidence stashed on a flash drive somewhere in Kowloon. I have Gidget on a modest stipend and have sent her back to high school. Re-admittance was a snap for her because she took the time to purchase a video from ebay of her principal showing off his preference in, shall we say, exotic footwear and leather restraints. To each his own, is my motto.
Of course, peeling Gidget and Trixie apart that final day was a bit unpleasant and awkward. But life’s hard, dammit. Jeez, you’d think a fifteen old old and four year old would be mature enough to express their feelings in a less destructive way. It was the fecal frescoes on the front porch and the “You SUCK!!!!” painted on my roof top and Hummer, that finally put me over the edge.
I convinced Sophia that a new gang was tagging in the neighborhood and we really should go ahead and relocate to Georgetown. That was easy enough, since the car, the house, even the freezer that I unloaded a clip of 9mm’s into last winter (it’s complicated) were all rented under the Oren Hatch Fund for Wayward Mormons. It was a simple matter of loading the moving van with our clothes and keepsakes and driving away before the explosion and fire that
destroyed all the evidencetragically engulfed the house - a leaky gas main is the official version - took place.So, we’ll need new identities - not a problem - we’re old hands at that. Ciao.
SeattleDan
May 31, 2009 at 11:11 am
69We’re going to lock and load, Private. And then we’re going to ki…ki…ki….
Boomer
May 31, 2009 at 5:40 pm
70“Heavy on the 30 weight, Mom!”
“Don’t! Don’t eat with your hands son, use your entrenching tool!”
I looked at the backside of the Don’t Crush That Dwarf…” album recently and was reminded that Firesign wrote and performed the record 39 years ago (April and May of 1970). Day-um, it seems like only yesterday. And the picture of them on the album - they were just kids! Well, not Peter and David…..
SallyTireBiter
May 31, 2009 at 11:20 pm
71Stop singing and finish your homework.
Aunt Sam
June 1, 2009 at 6:14 am
72Hi all~
My well wishes to Jack never appeared. I swear I didn’t use any bad words! Be well, Jack. I hope Afghanistan is better than Iraq.
And Chris, I like The Mudflats.net. It’s Alaska-centric, and therefore a little more Palin info than I need on a day-to-day basis, but she posts some interesting stuff still.
I especially liked this piece on Dr. Tiller: http://www.themudflats.net/2009/05/31/silence-is-consent/#comments
And of course our own Dave von Ebers at Journal of the Plague Year is great.
Oh! I got A’s in all 3 classes my first semester back. I’m taking astronomy as a telecourse over the summer. I’ll take my first test today. Wish me luck.
Chadwyke
June 1, 2009 at 3:28 pm
73Aunt Sam, many websites can help you with the astronomy class. If you haven’t already, go to astronomy.com or heavensabove.com. Lots of fun things going on this month. Saturn’s rings are nearly edge on to Earth. This only happens twice every 29 years, so check it out if you can. It’s in Leo this month.
If you’ve never done it, drive out of town far away from city lights, lay back on a chaise lounge with a star chart, and be amazed. Take insect repellent with you, and binoculars or telescope, if you have them.
Welcome to astronomy, seeker!
waterfowler
June 2, 2009 at 8:40 am
74Cooper,
Fort Hood is out there…Tell her “Welcome to Texas” & give us her impressions.
Chadwyke
June 2, 2009 at 6:21 pm
75Just when you hope the worst is behind you:
http://www.physorg.com/news163168813.html
Jerry, The King of Comedy!!!
June 23, 2009 at 6:28 pm
76In an effort to keep the loop going….
A huge guy walks into a bar, approaches a little guy and karate chops him in the back. When the little guy gets up, the huge guy says, “That was a karate chop from Korea.”
A little later, the huge guy walks back over to the little guy and karate chops him in the back. The huge guy says, “That was a karate chop from China.”
The little guy leaves the bar, comes back and hits the huge guy on the back. The huge guy lies unconscious on the floor. The little guy tells the bartender, “When he wakes up, tell him that was a crowbar from Sears.” (tish)
gillian
June 25, 2009 at 3:45 pm
77OK, I must say that the climate in South Carolina can be most enjoyable, most of the time. But the other night we had one of those yellow cloud thunderstorm come roaring through - no funnel cloud this time, but it did put our satellite dish on the ground. So no TV for a couple of days. Jimmy’s up on the roof now with his tool bag and his signal meter, trying to get the dish remounted and pointing in the right direction. I certainly have missed the TV. Life can be quite boring in SC. Nothing interesting ever seems to happen in this state.
Oh good. We got a signal! I tell you, Jimmy is some kind of fine young handyman. Really handy. CNN is on the tube. Good. I hate to be out of the news loop. Let’s see what’s been happening the last few days and then I’ll have to properly reward my live-in repairman for his good work. (Wink!)
David
June 25, 2009 at 5:49 pm
78Yes, gillian, South Carolina is like news not land. But hang in there - something is bound to break sooner or later. Maybe Josh Marshall will have something over at TPM.
From last year, my Gator now Gamecock Steve Spurrier did say the State of South Carolina needed to take that damned rebel flag down (I used to have and display the Stars and Bars as a child, but that was 60 years ago, and before it had become the battle flag of the KKK and every other southern racist group. Georgia folk have tried to peddle the crap that it is on their flag for heritage, not racism, but there is the small detail that it was added to the Georgia flag in the mid-60s. Gee, I wonder what the real motivation was. Their follow up was, of course, expelling Julian Bond from the Georgia legislature for opposing the Viet Nam War. Ah, my beloved South, always champions of freedom, of individual rights, of social civility, of fair play for all, and of honorable heritage. That’s why you went Republican.
Zee Man
June 26, 2009 at 4:39 am
79“Georgia folk have tried to peddle the crap that it is on their flag for heritage, not racism…”
Yeah, but David, their heritage is racism.
denny
June 26, 2009 at 3:55 pm
80The pack of yapping newshounds were all set to wax poetic about the tragic passing of the lovely Farrah Fawcett yesterday and then Michael Jackson had to go and die the same day. From then on it was “Sarah who”? I tell you some people just can’t catch a break. Farrah was up as high as the B+ list at one point in her career, then she bailed on Charlie’s Angels. (It’s not a wise career move to break a contract with Aaron Spelling.) After that, her outings were just trips to Palookaville and strip mall openings. She had nice hair and a brilliant smile though, didn’t she?
Chris Harlan
June 26, 2009 at 10:39 pm
81I’m not sure what to make of all the hoopla surrounding Michael Jackson’s passing. Surprise at the suddenness of his death is certainly understandable, but many folks are acting like he should be laid in state. His music never meant much to me, and, for a number of years he lived in my vicinity, so I saw a little more of his freakshow side than was visible nationally. I was far more familiar with his antics and rumored crimes than most of his singles. I did like Man in the Mirror quite a bit, but I was thrilled by little else. Just not my taste; I certainly did recognize his talent. Same with Madonna. Just not for me. It is therefore with some surprise that I view his International canonization.
I’ve never quite made up my mind as to his guilt or innocence in regards to the child molestation charges pressed against him. I’m glad it wasn’t my responsibility to do so. What surprised me, today, was the almost universal silence those serious charges received in the storm of obituaries that poured forth. I guess that is just part of the canonization process.
Another odd element was the focus on his rise out of poverty. I don’t know how this ‘out of poverty’ thing started, but it is echoed in almost every story out today. Almost exactly the same words. And while that might be a fair description for some of the older Jacksons, say Jackie and Tito–back when they lived in Gary–Michael knew wealth most of his life. He was living in a mansion before the age of 12–and in pretty good conditions for several years before that while Berry Gordy groomed the Jackson Five for stardom. Certainly the years before that on the road, club to club, could not have been easy, but “poverty” doesn’t describe it. He suffered a lot of abuse as a kid, which probably helped form his fascination with prepubescent boys, but that is not poverty.
Whether he actually molested boys or not, I don’t know, but the countless sleepovers with lots of boys are things that he has admitted to. Pedophile? I don’t really know. Weird, twisted rich dude? Certainly. And while I appreciate his talent, and am sincere in passing condolences to his friends and family, I do not understand his elevation. Maybe if I could moonwalk, and didn’t like folk and classical so much.
Zeke
June 27, 2009 at 4:32 am
82Chris, you can’t moonwalk? Dude!!! Well, you do live in CA and I’m in Nebraska. You probably have a few more distractions than I do. Just watch his legs and feet, man. Ignore the miss direction. You’ll pick it up with a little practice. When you can moonwalk in sneakers, you know you’ve arrived! Chicks really dig it.
Chris Harlan
June 27, 2009 at 8:18 am
83Maybe I can. I’ve never tried. I can dance like a robot, if that’s any help.
Zee Man
June 27, 2009 at 8:19 am
84Okay, now I remember why we gather here from time to time, in the alley behind Felber Manor, and dig through the garbage cans looking for the occasional comedic scrap. Whoa! Great show, Adam. You and Tom were hilarious!
David
June 27, 2009 at 10:04 am
85Thanks for the heads up, Zee Man. Gonna have to catch the replay of WWDTM tomorrow afternoon.
Michael Jackson sold huge numbers of albums, in particular Thriller, and what was to be his current tour was selling out like instantly. $$$ earning power and size of fan base determine. Add in the American obsession with celebrity, no matter its roots or twists and turns, and there was no question Michael Jackson would be news-cycle canonized. That he was talented, if that is the reason for the sales and the fan base, is part of the mix, of course. But talent is never the primary consideration, except for the extent to which the performer is marketable. I’m not at all surprised, just tired of the fact that the American media have to do what they are doing regarding Michael Jackson’s death. Climate change legislation is far more important to our future well being, but yawn.
Blagojevich almost pulled off having his celebrity trump his utterly debased corruption. NBC was good to go, and what was it, The View, that thought he was a ratings win?
I’m not sure there was ever a time, at least not since my birth in 1942, that celebrity didn’t trump everything but the occasional collosal disaster/world war. Wish I’d understood that back when I thought real people doing real things gave us our stability and strength as a society, and that those underpinnings were rock solid and what were most deserving of our attention and respect.
Hell, I even used to think truthfulness was a national common denominator, with liars and cheats being a minority exception unable to do massive damage to an essentially sound, grounded society. Damn is naivete ever a powerful drug.
Chris Harlan
June 27, 2009 at 12:43 pm
86This may seem naive, but I don’t think you were being naive. I do think it is a constant battle, and without folks manning the shovels, the bs just piles up. Probably most of us come to this site because satire is a powerful tool against bs, and Adam is good at it. (you get to decide which)
I do believe we are in a particularly vulnerable time period because a wide variety of New Age philosophies (tm$) are taking direct swings at the process of Reason, and, for that matter the physical world as we know it. I’m often dumbstruck by the growing number of people who believe–despite all physical evidence to the contrary–that time and space are an offshoot of their own ego, and that if they only can master the Secret (not just the the Secret, but any one of a number Secret-like schemes) they will be able to manifest themselves piles of money, heroine-like happiness, and god/goddess thrones to put the rest of us in our places. Weirdly, the 21st Century is beginning to look a lot more like the 13th. For the past few decades most of us Reasonable folks have been polite about it, it being a free country and all, but maybe it is now are duty to laugh really loud and really hard at the silliness that is fundamentalist religion on one side and New Age masturbation on the other. That way we’ll at least be cheery when they put our heads on pikes.
The DanicaFan Club
June 27, 2009 at 12:57 pm
87Jeez, Woodrow, that David certainly is getting up there in years, innut? Had we even split the atom by 1942?
Nigel, come on! HELLO!!! - Ernest Rutherford - 1917. Some budding physicist you turned out to be. You have mustard on your chin and on your pocket protector, BTW. And some strawberry jam on your ear lobe and tofu is your hair. If it involves Zelda, I don’t even want to know how that got there.
Vegan food fight. Jealous?
No. Queasy.
Hi guys. I’m bummed. I listened to SciFri yesterday and I didn’t get to hear Flora Lichtman voice. They had her video segment as usual, but Ira did all the talking. What a hose job!
Yeah, I think I heard she went on a sabbatical to the Mediterranean with her “friend”, Francois.
Shut your mouth!
Relax, guys. There’s always Danica!
You know she’s married, right?
…….
…….
…….
…….
Damn!
Yeah. Damn!
Chris Harlan
June 27, 2009 at 1:43 pm
88Of course, Reason has its stalkers, too. Settle down DF C.
Jerry, The King of Comedy!!!
June 27, 2009 at 2:10 pm
89A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead all enter a swim meet. The gun goes off, and the brunette quickly captures first, with the redhead coming in second. An hour later, the blonde emerges from the pool, completely exhausted, and immediately begins complaining to the judges.
“We were supposed to be doing the breast stroke, right?”
“That is correct”, said one of the judges. “It was the breast stroke competition.”
“Well, I saw those other girls cheating. They used their arms.” (ba-dum!!)
Chris Harlan
June 27, 2009 at 2:32 pm
90Blond jokes, Jerry? How 20th Century of you. I’m thinking this century we ought to making fun of, I don’t know…. (spin the wheel) Brunettes. And males. So this is the century of dumb brunette male jokes. Damn! Just my luck.
Jerry, The King of Comedy!!!
June 27, 2009 at 6:47 pm
91I don’t know, Chris. A brunette man competing in a breast stroke competition without using his arms. I’m thinking that might take more than an hour.
Chris Harlan
June 27, 2009 at 7:03 pm
92It’s simple. Rotating power nipples. It is, after all, the 21st century.
And: What a Wait Wait! Welcome Back Adam!
Jerry, The King of Comedy!!!
June 27, 2009 at 7:14 pm
93Okay, you’re probably right, Chris. No more blond jokes (today). How about this one?
Jesus and Moses are walking along the beach when Moses says, “You know what? I’m going to try and part the ocean again.” He throws his hands in the air and, magically, the ocean parts.
Jesus sees this and says, “Moses, that was absolutely terrific! I’m going to try to walk on water again.” He walks up to the water, takes a step on top and sinks.
Moses says, “Oy, Zeyde. Try it again, Jesus. It’s been a while.” Jesus tries again, and once more, he sinks.
Jesus comes out of the water. “I think I know what the problem is. When I walked on water before, I didn’t have these damn holes in my feet.” (rimshot!!)
R. B. Cheney
June 28, 2009 at 9:52 am
94In Seattle, they have a saying: ‘If you don’t like the weather, wait five minutes and then shoot a lawyer in the face.’ I’ve always liked Seattle. HAR! HAR! HAR! HAR! HAR! Arrrrgh!!!!
Roger
June 28, 2009 at 1:00 pm
95Jerry, keep ‘em coming. I enjoy the occasional blond joke, but I must compliment you on the Jesus and Moses story.
And in other news….. Dana Milbanks is Skull and Bones? Jeepers, no wonder he makes my skin crawl. He used to comment for Countdown on a regular basis until Keith threw him out onto the street.
Milbanks went mano a mano with Nico Pitney from HuffPo on CNN today and after losing that round, Dana may be spending more time in the Style Section of WaPo writing stories about how good Obama looks in a swimsuit - a real and recurring interest of Dana’s. Of course, then he’d have to contend with daily knife fights against Roaxnne Roberts. Those of us WWDTM fans here know who will be winning those.
After that segment, Nico said that Dana turned to him and remarked “You’re such a dick!!” under his breath. Yeah, classy.
The Ancient One
June 28, 2009 at 7:28 pm
96Roxanne don’t lose to nobody. Dana don’t want to be messin’ with her.
As long as Dana also writes about how good Danica looks in a swimsuit and remembers to include a picture…
That Chris Harlan makes several good points: about reason, about dumb brunette guy jokes, and about rotating power nipples. I like the way Chris thinks.
gregory
June 29, 2009 at 4:09 am
97Of the notable people who have passed away this week, I think I’m going to miss this one most of all.
http://crooksandliars.com/bluegal/open-thread-197
Chris Harlan
June 29, 2009 at 5:12 am
98Ah, yes. The King of Soap.
Chris Harlan
June 29, 2009 at 8:35 am
99Bye, Bye Bernie.
There were marks just ripe for the pickin’.
And you meant to pick ya a few.
Oh, those marks just won’t know what they’re missin’.
You had a lot of livin’ to do.
See you in 150 years. Write if you get work.
Zee Man
June 29, 2009 at 5:54 pm
100A comedian on “Here & Now” today pointed out that with his sentencing today Bernie Madoff will just be moving from one gated community into another. Here’s hoping the best of health to Mr. Madoff. May he live a long, long, long time. Mazel tov, Bernie.
gillian
June 29, 2009 at 6:48 pm
101Here’s hoping the congressional Democrats will stand strong and unified on the needed health care reforms. Yeah. As if…
http://www.salon.com/comics/tomo/2009/06/30/tomo/index.html
Jake
July 1, 2009 at 3:48 am
102Gillian, Gov. Sanford’s handlers needs to get out the hook before he confesses to kidnapping the Lindbergh baby.
http://www.mcclatchydc.com/homepage/story/71053.html
Vinnie
July 1, 2009 at 8:27 am
103Me an’ Guido din hab nuttin’ ta do wit’ stealin’ no baby. Dat’s sick. When dey fin’ out who stole da lil’ tyke, let me know. I’ll go adjust his neckpipe fo’ him.
Zee Man
July 1, 2009 at 9:39 am
104So, Al Franken finally won his senatorial race and is now the junior senator from Minnesota. Great! That’s just what this town needs, another fucking comedian.
dee
July 1, 2009 at 12:52 pm
105Happy Birthday, Adam. In your hono(u)r, all of Canada took the day off.
cooper
July 1, 2009 at 1:15 pm
106Thanks, dee, for reminding us all of this momentous occasion. No kidding - Canada took the whole day off to celebrate? Well the least I can do is to wish our buddy a happy birthday. Happy Birthday, Adam. (And it’s forty-how-many now?)
David
July 1, 2009 at 4:25 pm
107Yeah, happy birthday, you young whippersnapper.
David
July 4, 2009 at 9:05 am
108You should sell this picture to Cherrios. It is irresistible, and if it goes national will give Baz a good start on his college fund. Just sayin.