Hi all! Adam’s sister Susie here again.
Since you didn’t ask, I’ve been very busy lately.
First there’s my time spent keeping a mental list of the many economic downturn terms that are unintentionally sexy. I can’t help myself. When the velvet-tongued Kai Ryssdal talks about hard times, the need for greater transparency and Obama’s huge stimulus package — I experience liquidity.
Then, there’s my day job. I am psyched to brag tell you that the dumb blog I toil on is a SXSW Awards finalist. Altogether way too much more on that development here. If any of you are going to or are in Austin for it, let a sistah know.
In other developments, I’m now the breadwinner in my family. I have no problem with this. In fact, I was really excited.
But then I found out you don’t actually win any bread. As soon as my husband went freelance, I was skipping into Pathmark saying, “Pumpernickel? Baguette? Lavash? Hit me!”
Embarrassing, to say the least.
But seriously folks, here’s wishing you a happy Valentine’s Day, and if it isn’t happy, well, you can always kvetch in the comments below.
xoxo,
Susie
Fanny Roborat
67 comments
Zee Man
February 14, 2009 at 1:44 pm
1Well, Susie, it should be obvious that the normal commenters here are all busy having hot passionate
sexchocolate for Valentine’s Day. I think I’ve gained about a pound and a half myself. I wonder what I can come up with to lose that much weight by the end of the day. (Running is not an option.) OK, where is that nearly useless boyfriend of mine? It could be actually quite pleasant to have him pay me a little attention right now. I guess I’ll have to kill the power to the TV at the breaker box again. That always works. Kiss, kiss, you shameless canoodlers.dee
February 14, 2009 at 2:49 pm
2I got a bill from the Winston-Salem Utilities Division in my mail today. Those crazy romantics!
chele
February 14, 2009 at 3:48 pm
3dee, of course those scamps at the Postal Service are romantics. They just wanted to bring a little cheer into your life today, since there’s no mail delivery on President’s Day. Me? I got four letters from the county tax dept that I threw unopened onto my pile along with the others. If nothing else, the county is a consistent and dependable source of angst. Bless them.
Chadwicke
February 14, 2009 at 4:14 pm
4I know, dear readers, how enamored you are of all things scientific, so I’m being extra nice to you for Valentine’s Day. You’ve let me know that what you really want in an informative blog is a discussion and a photographic montage of lenticular cloud formation above Mt. Rainier. Well, this is your lucky day. I have just the link for you.
http://www.komonews.com/weather/blog/35631614.html
Beauteous, no?
Julie Klausner
February 14, 2009 at 4:24 pm
5Pumpernickel!!!!
Vinnie
February 14, 2009 at 7:18 pm
6Yo Doc, I’m back in da Vatican again. Got called back f’om a great time on da beaches of Uruguay. I know, normally when ya t’ink of Uruguay, ya t’ink of agin’ Nazi war criminals, but let me tell ya’, dat place is terrific! And da dames down on da beaches, well…..
Da Pope don’t seem too well dese days. Awful jumpy. But when Guido an’ me walked in, he sorta seemed ta snap outta it, put down his shotgun(???), and shuffled over ta hug us. It wuz kinda embarrassin’, if ya wan’ ta no. Dat south Asian servant boy is back, too. Da Pope had us sit down and da servant boy brought us some marzipan stollen on a tray, but den he took a big bite outta every piece of stollen. Da Pope made him stand in da cornuh for a coupla minutes, kept talkin’ to us about nuttin’ much, looked ovuh at da kid again aftuh a while, den tol’ us we could eat now. Me an’ Guido don’t no what ta make of all dis.
Hope you’re not studyin’ too hard. Maybe I can get ovuh stateside aftuh Lent and we can go ta Elisabet’s Pizza. My cousin, Tomas, took it ovuh ’bout a mont’ ago, if ya know what I mean. We’ll hava swell time, you’ll see.
Dale
February 14, 2009 at 7:35 pm
7Vinnie, there’s some Vatican Inquisition archives that still haven’t been opened to researchers. Any chance you could get me in? I might make it worth your while, if ya know what I mean.
Fran
February 14, 2009 at 8:10 pm
8Chadwicke, I love those clouds! I always hope not to see them when I’m driving to work because I just know one of these days I’m gonna drive right into a tree. Or a jaywalking pedestrian.
Thanks for the link!
Vinnie
February 15, 2009 at 6:16 am
9Yo Dale, dat certainly got my interest! I’ll slip His Eminence Archbishop Bernard Law a coupla fins and see wot he comes up wit’.
Concetta
February 15, 2009 at 8:13 am
10Sorry, Susie. You’ll have to go to the awards program in your old stand-by black strapless evening gown. It looks like someone already has the BeDazzler reserved.
http://www.funnyordie.com/videos/1d5e6588f5/billy-mays-at-the-office-f rom-frazer_james
Jim (OJNTNJ)
February 15, 2009 at 10:16 am
11“I was skipping into Pathmark saying, “Pumpernickel? Baguette? Lavash? Hit me!
Susie,when I read this line I immediately flashed on the “Who Will Buy” scene from Oliver. It was initially easy to imagine your bread song added to those of the rose seller, milkmaid, strawberry vendor, and knife grinder.
Then in my imagination it devolved into mechanical billy goats singing “The Little Goatherd” in the round and the magic was over.
Seriously, happy belated Valentines Day to you and the other Fanatical Apathists too.
Jake
February 15, 2009 at 1:22 pm
12Rather than report on yet another Islamic beheading, this time in the USA, how about some happy news from the Middle East?
http://www.alarabiya.net//articles/2009/02/15/66532.html
Zee Man
February 15, 2009 at 2:58 pm
13Looks like Marine One is gonna need a taller door.
http://www.independent.co.uk/news/world/americas/obama-walks-tall–and- bumps-his-head-1605148.html
gregory
February 15, 2009 at 3:12 pm
14Yeah, like we didn’t already have enough trouble sleeping at night - http://www.heraldtribune.com/article/20090209/COLUMNIST/902090340/2257 /NEWS?Title=Question___Morning_Joe__or_Sen__Joe_
Cynthia
February 15, 2009 at 5:28 pm
15We need to get a countdown clock started for the new season of “Real Time”. It starts on February 20 - next Friday night.
For those who can’t wait. http://www.huffingtonpost.com/bill-maher/new-rule-dont-miss-the-se_b_1 66579.html
D. Quayle
February 15, 2009 at 6:10 pm
16“We’re going to have the best-educated American people in the world.” Oh wait. We were talking about education here, right? No?
Mickey
February 15, 2009 at 6:39 pm
17Damn, I’m really getting good with my disguises. That propeller head, Chadwyke, came by the house asking for “Samuel”. I looked him square in the face and told him, “There’s no one here by that name.” He gave me a penetrating look, like maybe he recognized me from somewhere, but he shrugged and said he was sorry to bother me and left. I’ve decided the forged document and ID dodge is not a high yield business plan for me any longer. Especially after I’m declared a bank, which should be any day now.
Sophia hired on with a hydrogen generation consortium of some sort, hoping to hit it big when the government’s “Green Power” spigot gets opened. Apparently, these guys have figured out how to separate hydrogen from CO, methane, and C02 impurities by using a charged catalytic honeycomb made from germanium and sorting the hydrogen by polarity of the atoms instead of by size of the molecule. This process is 4 times as efficient as the previous methods. Who knows - maybe we’ll be zipping around in high toned hydrogen runabouts before you know it. Once I’m a bank, I’m going to dump tons of money into this venture. After all, Americans have be moving to be happy.
Chris Harlan
February 16, 2009 at 2:27 am
18Ah, Felberina, goddess of bread! I’m glad you have a promo gene; you can’t really be a citizen of the 21st century without one. May you win your award and Pallance and/or Paltrow all over the stage. Just don’t Field. (Wow. Could it be that in the 21st Century it is no longer about 15 min of Fame, but about getting verbed.) So, break a leg.
Jake
February 16, 2009 at 4:23 am
19The Presidential Rankings are now posted and is George W Bush the worst? Almost. He comes is 36th out of 42 Presidents - once again Bush sails through with a Gentleman’s “C”! But as everyone here knows, all the shit’s not out of the goose yet. Stay tuned.
http://www.swamppolitics.com/news/politics/blog/2009/02/presidential_r ankings_leadersh.html
David
February 16, 2009 at 10:12 am
20What president ever did more damage through his ignorance, blind ideology, and utter ineptness? And I hate that the “W The President” crowd (remember those little black cultist bumper stickers with white lettering?) can claim, “At least he wasn’t the worst.” Harding didn’t wreak anywhere near as much havoc on America or the world. Pierce, I think it was, simply did not believe in legislation, but I don’t remember any great disasters as a result of his presidency. W has to go down as The Greatest Destroyer. I humbley submit that he should be ranked 100 in anticipation of America going another 55 presidents without getting it as wrong as we did with this braindead rotted fence post.
Chris Harlan
February 16, 2009 at 2:28 pm
21David temps the gods with: I humbley submit that he should be ranked 100 in anticipation of America going another 55 presidents without getting it as wrong as we did with this braindead rotted fence post.
Man, you’d better knock on some serious wood!
piglet
February 16, 2009 at 3:06 pm
22Would have chimed in earlier but that Tru TV website is a tru time killer. Sweet blog, Susie!
Chris Harlan
February 16, 2009 at 3:19 pm
23I actually meant that “David tempts the gods,” and not “stands in for them.”
Dale
February 16, 2009 at 4:34 pm
24I temped for the gods once. Man are those files a mess!
Chadwyke
February 16, 2009 at 4:35 pm
25What are the chances that 2 nuclear submarines armed with nuclear missiles will crash into each other in the Atlantic Ocean? Well, it’s not zero…
http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=100746181
Jerry, The King of Comedy!!!
February 16, 2009 at 4:43 pm
26Dale! (rimshot!!!, ba-dum!, cymbal crash!)
Dietrich
February 16, 2009 at 7:24 pm
27Hey waterfowler, Sally, or anyone else in Texas, did you guys by chance see this fireball?
http://www.physorg.com/news154028868.html
SallyMutant
February 16, 2009 at 9:26 pm
28Great link, Dietrich. I guess we’re too far north, and were too asleep that early Sunday a.m., to have seen it. Years ago, when he lived in Houston, my husband saw a flying pickup truck the size of a pickup truck. It flew off an overpass and landed rightside up facing oncoming traffic. No one was hurt; many, many were startled.
Great, provocative, maddening link, Jake.
Rye commentary, Susie. When you triumphantly accept the award–glory, glory, Challaluja!
Jerry, The King of Comedy!!!
February 17, 2009 at 3:57 am
29OK. This one’s not funny. It’s a little scary. Actually….
http://www.salon.com/comics/tomo/2009/02/17/tomo/
Vinnie
February 17, 2009 at 10:30 am
30Yo, Doc. His Eminence Archbishop Bernard Law (”All my friends call me, Bernie”) [Dat must be why ever’one here calls him His Eminence Archbishop Bernard Law] had a look down in da catacombs. He ain’t found no Inquisition documents yet. But in da “Looted WWII Nazi Art Treasure’s Ruby Vault”, he saw the mummified, dried up, stiff-as-a-board body of Christ leaning in the far right hand corner. Will dat do?
It's Pat!
February 17, 2009 at 4:05 pm
31Susie, I don’t think Pres. BHO’s response to the economic downturn was unintentionally sexy. He knows we have a long hard road ahead. We have to get down to the basics. Yes we can oh yes we can yes yes we can can can.
Concetta
February 17, 2009 at 5:00 pm
32“When the velvet-tongued Kai Ryssdal talks about hard times, the need for greater transparency and Obama’s huge stimulus package — I experience liquidity.”
I’m with Pat and Susie. What red blooded American female wouldn’t experience liquidity?
Dale
February 17, 2009 at 5:13 pm
33Vinnie–sorry, no good. I don’t have time to go back and write a doctoral thesis about stuffed, mummified Christs.
Vinnie
February 17, 2009 at 7:00 pm
34Yeah OK, Doc, we’ll keep lookin’ for dat Inquisition stuff. Maybe it’s in one of da’ torture chambers, on a shelf behind the iron maiden or sumpin. I’ll let ya know.
David
February 17, 2009 at 8:26 pm
35I kind of like standing in for the gods… Somebody needs to, given their track records.
piglet
February 18, 2009 at 6:12 pm
36SallyMutant: We lived in Texas for a year and a half, and I heard the TV news phrase, “the vehicle became airborne” more often in those 18 months than I’ve heard in the 24 years since.
Zeke
February 18, 2009 at 6:29 pm
37piglet’s right. A handful of NASCAR Sprint Cup drivers are from Texas and I’ve often seen their vehicles become airborne.
Zee Man
February 18, 2009 at 6:41 pm
38It seems dick Cheney fantasized about getting W in a headlock and administering noogies until W pardoned Scooter Libby. Don’t go away mad, dick, just …… go away!
http://crooksandliars.com/silentpatriot/cheney-outraged-bush-didnt-par don-li
David
February 18, 2009 at 10:05 pm
39If one heads west on I-10 (the answer to the question How do you get from Daytona Beach to San Diego? is Go up to Jacksonville, turn left, and haul ass), as one crosses into each new state, traffic is travelling 10 mph faster than in the previous state. Thus add 10 mph for Alabama, another 10 for Mississippi, another 10 for Louisiana, and having started at 75 in Florida, just do the math and it is easy to see why so many cars in Texas go airborne on a regular basis. Head south into Mexico via San Antonio and Laredo, and it gets really exciting.
Speaking of exciting, Danica Patrick is damned hot. Thank you, SI.
siobhan
February 19, 2009 at 6:46 am
40Anyone going to Wait Wait in Berkeley? I’m in Orch P104 tonight, and C102 tomorrow night.
cooper
February 19, 2009 at 9:56 am
41siobhan, one show’s not enough, huh? Have a great time and “Hi” to hubby.
waterfowler
February 19, 2009 at 12:23 pm
42Didn’t see the meteor, haven’t gone airborn…Danica is hot.
It's Pat!
February 19, 2009 at 6:38 pm
43Directions to Omaha from Minneapolis (this is not a joke, unfortunately):
Go south to Des Moines, turn right.
Directions to LA from Minneapolis:
Go south to Des Moines, turn right, go past Omaha, it’s on your left.
How depressing.
All my assets are liquid, btw.
Pope Benny 16
February 19, 2009 at 6:56 pm
44I can’t imagine why anyone would continue to refer to this part of the Middle East as the Holy Land. Events over the past 60 years would indicate otherwise. I said something to Anselmo about visiting with the Palestinians in Gaza while we were there. He nixed that one in the bud and suggested that maybe Vincente and Guido could breach the border, negotiate the mine fields, round up a few of the slower Gazans and then hoof it back into Israel, carrying them on their shoulders, before Hamas opened fire. “You could meet with them” he said. “It’s much safer for you that way.” I suspect Anselmo is still holding a grudge against those two fine young lads. I guess he can tell that I prefer their company much more than his. I’ll have to do better at hiding that in the future.
hedera
February 19, 2009 at 7:55 pm
45We have tickets for WWDTM Friday night in Berkeley, but the tickets are upstairs and I don’t recall the seats. I think I went for the side boxes.
hedera
February 19, 2009 at 10:27 pm
46siobhan, we’re in A16 and A18 on the right mezzanine, Friday night.
Pope Benny 16
February 21, 2009 at 5:27 am
47!!!!!!!!!
!!!!!!!!!
!!!!………Owie! My chest!……..
Vinnie
February 21, 2009 at 12:11 pm
48Yo, Doc. I may be able to come ovuh to da U.S. soonuh dan I t’ought. About an hour ago, I foun’ da Pope just sittin’ in da cornuh mumblin’ to hisself. “How in da Hell did he evuh find dat out?” Ovuh and ovuh and ovuh again. Da Pope mus’ really be upset - I ain’t nevuh heard him cuss like dat buhfore.
Da Vatican Physician is wit’ him now. We helped da Pope intuh his bed, he gabe him a shot and da Pope is sleepin’ like a babe now. Me an’ Guido? Well wit’ da Pope takin’ a powder like dat, looks like we mite got some time on our hands. If I can come ta Brooklyn, I’ll letcha no.
Zee Man
February 21, 2009 at 7:19 pm
49dee, Vinnie, Guido, and all the other Felbernauts from the Detroit area - there’s an article about the Motor City’s fall from grace in the current RollingStone. As Thomas Wolfe wrote “You can’t go home again”, mainly because in this case your childhood house has probably already fallen in on itself. Enjoy your pictures and your memories of the old neighborhood. Times is tough.
Vinnie
February 21, 2009 at 7:50 pm
50Yo, Doc. Me and Guido’s gonna take a week off and fly back down ta Rio for Carnival. Me an’ you will go out ta dinnuh soon, I promise. And when we do, could ya wear dat gorgeous low cut dress dat matches da color of your eyes? I been havin’ sweet dreams about dat lately.
David
February 21, 2009 at 9:16 pm
51siobhan and hedera,
Tried to distinguish your laughs as I listened enviously to WWDTM this morning. Any nuggets that didn’t make the broadcast? And for those of us out here in the hinterlands, what is it like to be at one of those shows? I’ve gathered from past posts on FA that there is much which does not make it to the radio broadcasts. And did you guys find each other at the show. Inquiring FAers want to know.
Pope Benny 16
February 22, 2009 at 11:43 am
52How in the Hell did Mr. Lior Shlein find out about how that shameful miscreant, Eddie Haskelstein, knocked up Mary under the hay in the back of the Blessed Holy Donkey Cart? Or the Baby Jesus’ constant, nearly addictive cravings for chocolate drizzled mandelbrot? How in the Hell did he find these things out?
I bet it was His Eminence Archbishop Bernard Law. That would explain Bernie’s new ruby encrusted crucifix bling. (I must, in all honesty, admit that I too coveted that ornament when I first saw it in the “Papal’s Pride Gift and Souveniri Shop” on the ground floor next to the Vatican Tours booth. But Anselmo slapped it from my hand and told me that “Pride cometh before the fall.” He was right, but now I really hate that phrase!)
hedera
February 22, 2009 at 12:16 pm
53David - siobhan will have to speak for the broadcast, which is recorded on Thursday night, I only made it to the Friday broadcast.
For the inquiring minds, they do the week’s news on Thursday, and on Friday an “evergreen” show which they’ll broadcast some weekend they want to take off. If you hear a segment about technology and invention, where the “Not my Job” guest is Michael Pollan and the panelists were Mo Rocca, Paula Poundstone, and Tom Bodett, that was Friday night’s recording.
As loud as my laugh is (and it is), you won’t hear it, because those sessions are a nuthouse! The show was sold out (both nights) and I was on the mezzanine (I actually thought I was getting seats a little closer to the stage…) while siobhan was in the orchestra - I looked at the crowd and decided I wouldn’t be able to make it down and back in time, as they lock the doors when they start the broadcast, and you have to go out the doors to get from the mezz/balcony to the orchestra floor. I did want to meet siobhan but I didn’t want to risk missing the show.
And no, the funniest parts do not make it on air. Peter Sagal runs the show largely uncensored (although I don’t think the really big slip was deliberate) and then they edit out the unbroadcastables…
Aunt Sam
February 23, 2009 at 9:44 am
54Benny~
I like this picture of you. Did anyone actually win a goldfish? And will a papal goldfish live more than 2 days?
http://punditkitchen.com/2009/02/23/political-pictures-pope-benedict-x vi-vatican-carnival/#comments
Pope Benny 16
February 23, 2009 at 9:56 am
55No, my child. The goldfish will only live for 2 days, BUT, the third day after you flush it down the toilet, it comes back to life, to begin this cycle again - one of God’s unrecognized miracles.
Do you really like this picture? I couldn’t find my regular glasses and this pair I used in the 1960’s. You think maybe they’re back in style?
hedera
February 23, 2009 at 4:15 pm
56I found this on the Planet Money blog, you really have to hear The Tarp Song.
David
February 23, 2009 at 5:04 pm
57Thanks, hedera, for the skinny on WWDTM and for the link to The Tarp Song. And thanks, Aunt Sam, for the link to Toss the Beanie on Benny.
Vinnie
February 23, 2009 at 6:19 pm
58Yo, Doc! Ya t’ink clothes made in Bangladesh is thin an’ flimsy? Da Brazilians go one better - All da dames in da parade wear is body paint! Dat’s an interestin’ concept. Well anyway it sure looks snazzy ta me. Tomorruh is Fat Tuesday an’ den all da people gotta behave demselfs for a year. (Yeah, good luck wit’ dat.)
dee
February 24, 2009 at 5:23 am
59You do all have your paczki for today, don’t you?
cooper
February 24, 2009 at 6:35 am
60To the uninitiated, this may seem like a perfect opportunity to point out the discrepancy between the Polish spelling of Pączki and the Polish pronunciation of Pączki. Don’t go there. It is what it is. Deal with it. Happy Fat Tuesday, dee! Consume one for me. Looks like Vinnie and Guido will be having a good time today, as well.
your pal, cooper
Aunt Sam
February 24, 2009 at 1:53 pm
61Oh my gosh, I just had a flashback!
It must have been a year ago at this time that I started lurking at FanAp, and read pages of discussion about the spelling/pronunciation (seeming) disconnect, and thought, “Aaah, I have found my tribe.”
Jerry, The King of Comedy!!!
February 24, 2009 at 4:11 pm
62Look, I know Americans are all in a sweat to blame someone for this economic mess we’re in, but really! Grover Cleveland’s machinations set things in motion that guaranteed the TARP fiasco?
http://www.salon.com/comics/tomo/2009/02/24/tomo/index.html
It would behoove us all to spend this weekend tidying up and restocking the fallout shelter buried in the backyard - that fortunate and long forgotten relic of the Cold War. It will be just the place to hide the family when the lower caste begins the revolution and tries to have its way with our women and children. Oh, and tries to steal our food, too. The damned ingrates!
Pope Benny 16
February 24, 2009 at 7:39 pm
63I feel much better today. In fact, I stayed up late tonight to watch President Obama’s speech to the houses of the legislature. There is a uniquely American phrase that comes to mind, said to me personally by the other president after I spoke to a jubilant crowd of your countrymen this past spring. “Awesome speech, dude.” Indeed.
Mickey
February 24, 2009 at 8:09 pm
64The pompous weenie Douglas Holtz Eakin (I know, that’s redundant), was on the Diane Rhem Show this morning. I guess everyone of economic substance was unavailable again today. But enough of him; how ’bout that speech tonight? Huh? And Mr. President, you could start my own economic recovery by approving me as a bank. Tomorrow would not be too soon. I’m shovel ready, I swear to Hell. Oops, sorry Pope.
Rev. Billy
February 25, 2009 at 4:46 am
65Now this is just the sort of commercial we should have gone with thirty years ago. We wouldn’t be in the mess we’re in now, now would we? Stopped shopping yet? Hallelujah!!!!
http://crooksandliars.com/bluegal/open-thread-95
Mr. Mu
February 28, 2009 at 12:33 pm
66Many called him dubyuh but I always thought of him as simply duh.
emale address
March 1, 2009 at 9:03 am
67Susie,
Just discovered this blog and your blog. !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (Exclamation points are free!) Couldn’t figure out how to respond on your blog. Will have my teen figure it out for me.
As for the Oscar not being a sex toy, I think it has been used by a number of people to improve their sex lives. I’ve never had sex with Jack Nicholson, but for some reason he comes to mind.