I’ve just returned from Stowe, VT where I was skiing, snowshoeing and eating enough to fend off the pesky benefits of exercise.
I’d like to thank the young men who cut trails there in 1937 as part of the New Deal. If it weren’t for them, my buttocks would not be purple after encountering a rogue rock on steep hill of groomed ice I never would have been able to enjoy that unique recreation amongst natural beauty.
Now, over 70 years later, Stowe is owned by AIG by the federal government!* In the lodge you may have overheard me saying, “Hey, my tax dollars went to make these curly fries, so they better be totally Smurfy!” and “Buy a lift ticket? I bought the resort!” Anywho, we stayed at the Von Trapp Lodge and I returned with four extra strudel-related pounds memories and this original vid I made of my souvenirs. Crank up the speakers, pop a Xanax and enjoy.**
* Ya, I know, the Fed only has an 80% stake in AIG. Slap me some hyperbole and put your red pencils down.
** Although the goat is advertised on the Von Trapp website as Julie Andrews, the voice and 1959 copyright on the tag (and my friends telling me I’m a dumbass) leads me to believe it’s probably Mary Martin.
FYI One of these goats went to Adam and it was quickly whisked off to Los Angeles. The others went to my boss for his three kids. Maybe someday, the quartet will stage a big reunion comeback tour. Who knows…perhaps Obama’s new New Deal will blaze new ski trails and employ musical theater-loving goat fetish filmmakers. A gal can dream.
Actually, I am one of four people in the U.S. who still has a job. Check out more of my writing here. I’m the one they call Susie. Ta!





52 comments
Linkmeister
January 13, 2009 at 10:10 pm
1I’ve rarely found a need for the word “cacaphonious.” Until now.
Ann
January 13, 2009 at 10:38 pm
2Nah, I think that’s Julie Andrews. The copyright might be for the song, but you can’t mistake that voice.
Chris Harlan
January 13, 2009 at 10:56 pm
3Ahhh! Must! Have! Goat!
Roger
January 14, 2009 at 4:51 am
4Yeah, Adam. I never have stayed at the lodge, but in the summer there are concerts out on the lawn. The Green Mountains make a splendid backdrop for the string and timpani sections.
dee
January 14, 2009 at 5:59 am
5Free Bird!
Stephen
January 14, 2009 at 7:31 am
6Susie,
I would be afraid my boss would fire me! I know if someone gave each of my three daughters one of those, I would seriously be thinking of goaticide.
Jim (OJNTNJ)
January 14, 2009 at 8:00 am
7“and my friends telling me I’m a dumbass”
Yeah….I’ve got friends like that too.
The dumbasses.
Susie
January 14, 2009 at 8:08 am
8Link: ITA
Ann: Really? Cool! Hope so.
Chris: Ha! Also, I love your website. I could click on it all day long.
Roger: I’m Susie, Adam’s sister. I am like Adam but not Adam. HIYA
Dee: ha!
BREAKING GOAT NEWS: The goats are angry! http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,479885,00.html
And have you ever heard of a “goat spill”? Not me, until now.
http://www.thetimestribune.com/local/local_story_014083016.html
Susie
January 14, 2009 at 8:10 am
9Stephen: My boss be cool. So he is in a Manhattan apt. with three singing goats, what’s the big — OH DEAR THOR, WHAT HAVE I DONE?!?!
Jim: Another HA for you!
It's Pat!
January 14, 2009 at 8:55 am
10My grandbaby is four months old today. He is big enough to be used as a bowling ball. However, because he regularly spews fecal material, I do not believe it would be a good idea to use him as such, especially for the spare shot, which might run into obstructions.
Anyone up for -30 F weather? We got it! whee! Makes going to bed at 8PM acceptable, and once you are there, have fun!!
Hello Susie, come skiing here (Minnesnowta) sometime…..
piglet
January 14, 2009 at 10:19 am
11This was the first time my collie, Scotty Evil, has ever paid attention to my computer. He was fascinated by the (likely) voice of Julie Andrews, but after more goats/Andrewses joined in, he started looking for escape routes.
Roger
January 14, 2009 at 12:36 pm
12Oh, sorry Susie. Duh. I read the post on the fly. Actually, I guess it does make more sense that you’d be in Vermont, rather than Adam. Your brother in LA is enjoying highs in the 80’s this week. I enjoyed highs in the 80’s, myself, but then I got a job and I had to shape up. (Rimshot!!!)
Dale
January 14, 2009 at 2:30 pm
13So now Adam has a goat and a goatee?
Kjell Mikkelsen
January 14, 2009 at 3:35 pm
14Finally, ve haf der goot vinter veather yust like old country, ja It is Pat!? Hey, I send special Holiday gift to your grandson. I find online - Baby’s First Lutefisk. Huh?!!!! Dat help wit nutritional needs, very important. Your job to spoil grandson, ja? Dis vill help.
The AnnFan Club
January 14, 2009 at 7:49 pm
15Guys! Guys! Great news - Ann is back!
Wahoooo!!!
I wonder what stimulating and high class destination she went to this time (without me - again!).
I’m thinking she went south to Mexico or Central America. Great timing, Ann. You missed out on all the snow.
I guess you guys heard that I wrecked my Yugo on an icy patch in Redmond. I had to snowshoe here tonight. BTW, I brought the Beanie Weenies, if anyone’s hungry.
Redmond? Binky, why were you in Redmond? Wait a minute, you’re not stalking her, are you. I thought the restraining order made it perfectly clear that stalking Ann is a bad idea.
No way! (Not that I’d admit to it, anyhow.) The official police report states that I was running low on Gummy bears, I was jonesing for a sugar buzz, I zoned out and hit a light pole in the WalMart parking lot. The wreck pushed in the passenger door, but now that door will open again! The first time in eight years. Go figure.
So, Zimmerman, you think Ann will come by and visit us this year?
Sure, Melvin. (Sure.)
Anyone for Parcheesi?
Hey, that’s a great idea. Break out the goat cheese and the lime Kool-Aid, Wilbert. Let’s Par-tay!!!!
Aunt Sam
January 14, 2009 at 8:35 pm
16Um, I love you all, but I am concerned that vital synapses in your brain have been frozen. Or maybe that’s just me….
And it (she?) sounds like Julie Andrews to me also.
Zee Man
January 15, 2009 at 4:06 am
17Um….. Kjell, I think the idea is to spoil the grandchild, not to serve him spoiled fish. But I could be wrong.
It's Pat!
January 15, 2009 at 6:13 am
18Fish in lye. What a wonderful concept. Sorry Kjell, I’m sticking to throwing boiling off the deck and watching it turn to steam for my fun. But I do appreciate the thought.
Jim (OJNTNJ)
January 15, 2009 at 7:57 am
19It’s Pat! Have you tried blowing bubbles during ultra-freezing weather?
The results are interesting to say the least.
www.skipweasel.pwp.blueyonder.co.uk/freezebubbles/album/
Stephen
January 15, 2009 at 1:12 pm
20Susie,
It’s not the goats that would get me, it is the inevitable sing alongs…
Ann
January 15, 2009 at 1:20 pm
21Yes, I’m back from also-cold-but-no-snow-and-wow-look-at-that-
nekkid-statue-art Florence.But first I had to spend 30 hours in the Paris airport (CDG), and now I hate the French. Or at least Air France. You haven’t been angry until you’ve had to make a bed for your 80-year-old mother on the floor of the (unheated) arrivals area, and later the flight attendants bitch you out for taking a molecule-thin blanket and pillow off the plane that you just sat aboard for 8 hours without going anywhere. And that was the least of it!
But Florence was lovely.
hedera
January 15, 2009 at 2:00 pm
22After viewing the video, I’ve come to several conclusions:
Yeah, Julie Andrews, not Mary Martin.
The Lonely Goatherd does not work as a round.
Giving 3 singing goats to your boss’ 3 kids, in this economy, is job suicide, Susie, are you out of what passes for your mind??
If the voice is Julie Andrews, it’s very sad, since Dame Julie Andrews (you did know she’s a Dame Commander of the British Empire?) lost her singing voice following vocal cord surgery in 1997. Wikipedia says that last summer she sang publicly again for the first time since the surgery. I’d hate to think that glorious voice (which always inspires me to start singing along) existed only in a stuffed goat.
It's Pat!
January 15, 2009 at 2:48 pm
23Whoops, I forgot the word “water” in my post above. Makes me look like a bigger boob than I actually am.
Hey Jim OJNTNJ! That looks just like something a nutty northener would do! I’ll try it! Hope I can get some cool pictures like the link!
It’s supposed to get to -26F tonight, that should be cold enough, doncha tink?
Kjell Mikkelsen
January 15, 2009 at 4:50 pm
24It is Pat!, you say in #10 dat cold vetter “Makes going to bed at 8PM acceptable, and once you are there, have fun!!” So, you keep comic books on the nightstand, too, ja? I tell you, dem Katzenjammer Kids in a fair way, ja sure crack me up!
Aunt Sam
January 15, 2009 at 5:22 pm
25Jim OJNTNJ~ Those pictures are amazing. It’s apparently too windy here in Chicagoland– my bubbles just flew away- up and away actually.
Jim (OJNTNJ)
January 15, 2009 at 5:39 pm
26Yeah, those pictures are fascinating. I came across those via neatorama.com, via misscellania.com.
Does that make me an expert websurfer? Or just easily distracted?
becca (and brian)
January 15, 2009 at 6:16 pm
27Susie-
Is that you posting pics as Fanny Brown Rice of the plane in the Hudson?? Way to be there on the scene!
Zee Man
January 15, 2009 at 6:16 pm
28Yeah, Jim, it does.
Jerry, The King of Comedy!!!
January 15, 2009 at 6:44 pm
29OK, boys and girls, here’s the news reel you’ve been waiting for - the one that fills out your collection. File it on the same shelf as the “Duck and Cover”, “Nice Girls Don’t!” and “Reefer Madness” films from the ’50’s. It’s sure to be a classic.
http://www.236.com/video/2009/a_236_propaganda_production_ou_1_10986.p hp
Dirk's Diary
January 15, 2009 at 7:08 pm
301-15-09
Dear Diary,
The farewell speech by W was required attendance tonight at the White House. I was thrilled to find that it would only be 13 minutes long. I didn’t visit with him afterwards, but Elaine Chao called me later and said that Bush’s arm was in a sling, critically injured tonight while patting himself on the back.
Patricia wants us to skip the Inauguration and catch an early plane to Cabo San Lucas. Yeah, well what the Hell - that way I can start drinking a few days early. But after watching the results of the plane crash in NYC this afternoon, I may want to start drinking before I get on the plane to Mexico.
Jeffrey showed me an article in the current Rolling Stone about a imaginary interview with W where he apologies for all the fuck-ups. Yeah, like that’s going to happen.
Well, at least the bad dream that’s been my life these last few years is about to end. Good riddance and good-bye!
Dirk
Susie
January 15, 2009 at 7:42 pm
31Pat: Hilarious and I’m packing now.
piglet: Also hilarious and how’s the New Year’s Res coming?
Roger: no worries. also? hilarious!
Dale: ha!
Kjell: Ha to the nth lutekkefish!
Zee: Also bringing the funeeee
AnnFanClub: How do I join? Also, Welcome back Ann!
Aunt Sam: Thanks for the opinion. Also, yes, brain is froze, phleese help
hedera: Thanks for the expert thoughts.
becca: Ya, that was me! Good eye! Fanny Brown Rice is my alias! A tribute to Fanny Brice, Weight Watchers and as a bonus, Fanny means ladyparts in England-O. I felt cool, and amazing how many news outlets and blogs posted my pics.
The rest a y’all xoxo and g’night for now.
cooper
January 16, 2009 at 4:51 am
32Okay, stop me if you’ve heard this one.
What if they had a plane crash in New York City/Weehawken and the natives actually risked their lives and ran towards the danger to rescue survivors. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! Whew…. I gotta catch my breath here.
Wait. What?? …. They did????
…..
Jeez, thanks, youse guys!
Dale
January 16, 2009 at 9:52 am
33Aristotle missed a key element of theater–nothing is more wonderfully cathartic than feeling perched on the edge of total impending disaster and then having…everything…work out perfectly! Seriously, if anyone is feeling blue, I highly recommend having a plane crash in a freezing river outside your window and then have everybody survive!
It's Pat!
January 16, 2009 at 9:57 am
34Well, I tried the bubble thing last night when it was about -25F. The bubbles just popped before they got anywhere. My son said it was because the barometric pressure is so low, the bubbles could not even form. So then we stood halfway in the doorway, and then the bubbles would shoot straight out and over the roof of the house. So as far as I know, they are still out there, probably on their way to Vermont, where they will run into somebody trying to ski and knock them out.
Then I took some boiling water and tossed it out (pretty common sight in these parts). I did a bad job of tossing, and some hit my slippered foot. Weird part was it was ice by the time it hit my foot, and just bounced off.
Conclusion: it sucks to live here.
becca (and brian)
January 16, 2009 at 10:39 am
35It’s Pat-
Whenever we might get sad/nostalgic about moving from the Twin Cities back to Portland you all have weather like this week. And *poof* we’re pretty happy again.
Hang in there. I hear the cold front is supposed to break somewhat this afternoon. I’ll keep my fingers crossed for you
piglet
January 16, 2009 at 12:29 pm
36It’s Pat -
I’ve found that interesting weather is almost always best seen from TV.
I was thinking about you Minne-snow-tans this morning when I was brrrring about walking the dogs in 29 degree weather and wondering how you do it.
And yes, Susie, 16 days in, resolution-wise, and I’m still stepping it up, workout wise. It requires some “daily doubles” on work days, when I have a little bit of time twice a day, instead of a nice big block of time, but I figure two small somethings is better than one or none small somethings.
Chris Harlan
January 16, 2009 at 12:33 pm
37I’d like to say a fair well to Andrew Wyeth who passed away last night. I’ve gotten to know his work quite well recently, as I have been working on a documentary about the Wyeth family of painters. His work is stunning, and often misunderstood. Many see him primarily as a realist, but I find in his landscapes and portraits organic, abstract expressions that are at once simple and complex, and often astounding, and always dramatic. His portrait of his son, Jamie, wearing a coonskin cap in a field of dry weeds says so much about the human condition that it could have been a novel with many hundreds of pages. Everyone knows Christina’s World, which is a mighty painting, but his body of work beyond that is so grand that I wish people knew it better. It has been an honor for me to have his work pass though my hands, and I am very much the richer for it.
Ann
January 16, 2009 at 1:28 pm
38When will we be able to see the documentary, Chris?
Regarding freezing bubbles, I’ve never seen any as lovely as those in the link Jim provided, but I have blown bubbles in freezing weather. My cat finds them endlessly entertaining. He likes bubbles under any circumstances (well, probably not rain), and they last so much longer when it’s cold. Plus, I have catnip-scented bubble stuff.
Mustafa Gander
January 16, 2009 at 7:09 pm
39Oh, sure, you humans may have your hot shot, heroic pilots. But does anyone ever think about the long suffering Canada geese who annually sacrifice thousands of their own to combat Global Warming? These selfless patriots of the planet Earth choose to give up their own lives, daily hurling themselves into huge fully throttled turbine aircraft engines in an effort to decrease the carbon output of the moronic Great Apes.
Just remember, we were here before your stinking airplanes and we’ll still be here when the last one of those wretched freaks of technology has crashed in flames onto a concrete runway near you.
Allah Akbar
SallyMutant
January 16, 2009 at 9:51 pm
40Andrew Wyeth’s Miss Olson, 1952, looks a great deal like my late father-in-law, except for the bosom. And the bun. And he didn’t care for kitties. Still, a bit unnerving.
Rev. Billy
January 17, 2009 at 7:03 am
41This recession-soon-to-be-depression certainly has made my life’s message a bit easier to get across. “Stop shopping, gosh darnnit.” See? I don’t even have to curse anymore. On the other hand, donations have been down lately….
D. Quayle
January 17, 2009 at 10:57 am
42“It isn’t pollution that’s harming the environment. It’s the impurities in our air and water that are doing it.”
Yeah!!!! So, take that Mr. Al The-Earth-is-Melting-So-Turn-Off-Your-Automobiles-Right-Now-Before-We- All-Incinerate-Ourselves!!! Gore.
Chris Harlan
January 17, 2009 at 11:26 am
43Ann asks: When will we be able to see the documentary, Chris?
The producer was aiming for a Fall 2009 IMAX release, but whether that will still happen, I don’t know.
Zee Man
January 17, 2009 at 11:43 am
44Bush et al. are up at Camp David this weekend, where they are
watching college basketball and getting really shit-faced one last timediligently wrapping up the duties of their offices. I’m sure we all wish them a long anticipated “godspeed” as they scurry out of DC, like so many cockroaches under a blinding searchlight. The White House is being re-painted, dusted and steam cleaned in advance of the new occupants moving in next week. And for the 44th time, the power of this great people is being peaceably handed over from one leader to the next with nary a shot being fired. Which is fucking amazing when you think about it - every citizen in this country has 3 handguns, six scoped rifles, and a vintage Vietnam War era Army Surplus grenade launcher in the basement. Nary a shot. And the French call us barbarians - huh!gregory
January 17, 2009 at 12:02 pm
45This is great! Last week when Bush gave his final news conference, there were so few reporters in attendance that they had to bring in White House interns to fill in the last two rows of seats, so that the inevitable crowd shots would not look so pathetic. And to cut down on the echos too, I suppose.
Aunt Sam
January 17, 2009 at 8:25 pm
46Ann~
I have had great respect for you, and held you in the highest esteem. Until now. You do not have catnip scented bubble stuff.
Ann
January 19, 2009 at 3:56 pm
47Aunt Sam, I can’t verify the catnippiness of this product because I, personally, don’t react to catnip, but Whisker City markets a product that does indeed claim to contain catnip oil.
Are you disappointed in me because I cater to the whims of a member of another species? It’s not like I’m taking bubble baths in this stuff—that would be wrong!
Aunt Sam
January 22, 2009 at 8:49 pm
48Sorry, Ann, didn’t get back over here for a couple days.
No, no, the other species thing is great- I personally carry what claims to be dessicated bits of critter liver around in my coat pocket so as to be alluring to any dogs that I happen to meet.
I just think you’re lyin’.
But in case you’re not, Whisker City, huh? I have a niece cat that might be very fond of this product.
Chris Harlan
January 24, 2009 at 3:09 pm
49Aunt Sam mentions: I have a niece cat…
Do you have spectacular DNA or did your brother/sister adopt?
Aunt Sam
January 25, 2009 at 4:36 pm
50While I’d like to think my DNA is that good baby, it is actually the cat belonging to my niece (if any cat be said to belong to anyone).
I miss having a cat, but as The Man Of My Dreams has this ONE teeny flaw of being allergic, which he then passed on (and intensified) to D#2, there are none in my home…but a great dog:
http://apps.facebook.com/dogbook/profile/view/5633696
Sadly, she is not interested in bubbles. Perhaps if they were meat scented….
Dale
January 25, 2009 at 5:32 pm
51Look no further, Aunt Sam!
http://www.activedogtoys.com/bubble.html
Aunt Sam
January 25, 2009 at 7:48 pm
52My intertubes are leaky– I’ll try the link again tomorrow.
Ali the Wonder Dog thanks you. She had been feeling unfulfilled, and thinks this may be just what she needed.