Hey Fan Ap’ers! Adam’s little sister Susie here again.
It’s only 20 days, people. Are you excited? Me too. But are you as excited as this reporter I spied on CNN this morning, who simply could not contain his true feelings about our future leader and the stimulus to come?
No, it’s not mature. But the poor man’s deer-in-the-headlights eye bulge makes me want to watch it again and again. In fact, I think that’s what I’m going to do now. Ciao!
PS Happy New Year! I resolved to keep being as awesome as I am, and so far, so good. What are your resolutions? I’m genuinely interested. Let a sistah know in the comments.
Fanny Roborat
28 comments
madbard
January 1, 2009 at 1:17 pm
1Resolutions are so 20Cen. It is about GTD now!
1. Get Adam to post more to FA!
gregory
January 1, 2009 at 1:35 pm
2Susie, do you think this guy put on his Freudian slip when dressing this morning? I wonder if it was the blue one or the red one.
Chris Harlan
January 1, 2009 at 3:49 pm
3Ah, Lady Felber! Thanks so much for putting the fun back in Funatical Apathy!
tim
January 1, 2009 at 4:07 pm
4I just had some minor surgery, and they gave me Vicodin. My resolution is to send a congratulatory letter to the creators of Vicodin. That was some really good work you’ve done there, sir and/or madam. My next resolution will be to stop taking Vicodin. Not so sure I can do that one.
Obama: Like Vicodin for the Media!
Zee Man
January 1, 2009 at 5:13 pm
5Whoa! Susie - much too perky for New Year’s Day. Now if I could just stop my cat from stomping around the house…
Dirk's Diary
January 1, 2009 at 5:42 pm
61-01-09
Dear Diary,
Happy New Year, Diary. It certainly will be for me! T-19 days and counting. After a marathon shredding ordeal this past week, I think we managed to get rid of all the
evidencesuperfluous paperwork. I just have to do a few more land swaps for Cheney’s benefactors - a pristine Colorado wilderness tract for a brownfield in west Philly (Hooker Chemical) and some prime federal grazing land near Havre, Montana for an exhausted mountain top coal mining Superfund site (Peabody Coal Co.). All in a day’s work.Oh, sure I’ll miss the glamor, the free passes to Disneyland and the limo rides, but it’s time to move on. I wish Ken Salazar the best of luck (Cheney called off the knee-capping) and here’s hoping he doesn’t find any of the bodies.
Dirk
SallyMutant
January 1, 2009 at 9:10 pm
7Great–one convenient place to say Happy New Year to all FanAppers, Adam and Susie!
Have you had your black-eyed peas yet?
Jason
January 2, 2009 at 3:26 pm
8Happy New Year to you and Adam, and the rest of the family.
Zee Man
January 2, 2009 at 4:38 pm
9As long as we’re sourcing TV news for male member fodder, how’s about this one.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DqgJBR0VSBE
Roger
January 3, 2009 at 6:46 am
10Zee Man, it looks like Ms. Griffin’s TV career may have been severely truncated. A huge loss for us all, I’m sure. Let’s hope 2009 will be a better year for Kathy - with less booze before air time, maybe.
Chadwyke
January 3, 2009 at 6:56 am
11Happy New Year, chaps! Shooting down the Kyoto Agreement may be a part of the Bush Legacy that just keeps on giving.
http://www.independent.co.uk/environment/climate-change/climate-scient ists-its-time-for-plan-b-1221092.html
Dirk's Diary
January 3, 2009 at 3:58 pm
121-03-08
Dear Diary,
Actually Diary, although many Americans have now come to the conclusion that Bush is a feeb (in many ways, they are right), you have to admit that the Cheney plan to manufacture a diversion in the form of the Iraq War, loot the treasury so the next President would not have the capital to undo his many machinations and grant obscene wealth to his inside group of cronies has worked far beyond his wildest imagination. I know this. I did my part - avalanches of drilling permits, sweetheart land deals, and gutted environmental regulations on Federal lands.
Yesterday Cheney told me we had done enough, our work in DC was done - take off the rest of the weekend. As he rose to leave my office, he pulled an Official White House ashtray with the Presidential Seal from his coat pocket and dropped it onto my desk.
“Here, Kirk (Kirk?). Good job. I’m going to drop out of sight for a while after the Inauguration. We probably shouldn’t been seen together again. Don’t call me. Don’t talk to my wife. Do not attempt to communicate in any way. If I do need you in the future, I’ll send one of the boys. Drop whatever you’re doing and follow his instructions to the letter. I know where your children live. Don’t even think about fucking with me.”
And with that, Dick Cheney walked out of my life.
My nephew later electronically swept the ashtray for me - it is bugged and is rigged with a GPS transponder. I guess I’ll keep it in the loft of the horse barn - under several dozen bales of hay.
Dirk
D. Quayle
January 3, 2009 at 6:24 pm
13My advice to Joe Biden is from one of my many speeches - “One word sums up probably the responsibility of any vice-president, and that one word is ‘to be prepared’.”
BTW, Joe has hair plugs and I don’t think all his teeth are real.
David
January 4, 2009 at 8:26 am
14For the past 8 years: Devastate, devastate, dance to the music. Hope our election of a new theme song prevails in the new year and beyond. Week one of ‘09 couldn’t be much grimmer.
cooper
January 4, 2009 at 2:47 pm
15Here’s an article by our WWDTM buddy, P.J. O’Rourke. It’s a short one, so he doesn’t have the room go into full-throttle rant. Still it’s amusing - as usual.
http://www.theatlantic.com/doc/200812/disney
David
January 4, 2009 at 7:25 pm
16“Disney’s Tomorrowland is deeply, thoroughly, almost furiously unimaginative. This isn’t the fault of the ‘Disney culture’; it is the fault of our culture. We seem to have entered a deeply unimaginative era.” PJ got this right. I suggest this has something to do with the prevailing anti-intellectualism and belittling of science and elite minds, but it might also be the utterly commercial nature of our consumer society and the problem that things must be instant financial blockbusters to merit attention. Or not.
I do remember a flyer about Monsanto’s House of Tomorrow. It came with something we stocked at the grocery store I worked at in high school, but I can’t remember what. Something Monsanto produced (besides pesticides), maybe detergent. I remember being absolutely fascinated by such a house. Thanks for the link, cooper.
piglet
January 5, 2009 at 1:56 pm
17Suzie: re New Year’s resolutions, I admit to being a serial New Year Dieter. No diet this year, but I did resolve to work out more. More output as opposed to less input. We’ll see how that goes.
Dirk's Diary
January 5, 2009 at 6:33 pm
181-05-08
Dear Diary,
Dammit, somebody leaked. Keith Olbermenn got a hold of the story and blabbed it to America tonight. The whole freaking world will know about it tomorrow - the bathroom in my office at the Dept. of Interior was remodeled recently. It cost $250,000. Well Hell’s bells, some of the tiles were chipped, so I had those replaced with new tiles and the new tiles didn’t match the tiles in the shower stall, plus the toilet (Avocado Green) didn’t match the tiles in the shower stall either, so…
Look it’s not like I used taxpayers money for the renovations or anything. OK …… I did use taxpayer’s money, but have you tried to hire a plumber lately? Jesus Christ on a crutch! And if they’re any good at all, you have to get on the waiting list from Hell. Anyway, it just was finished the other day. I haven’t even pooped in there yet, but I’ll get all the blame for this, just wait and see. I hate this friggin’ town!
Dirk
D. Quayle
January 6, 2009 at 10:29 am
19“For NASA, space is still a high priority.” That one had them rolling in the aisle.
I tell you, John McCain should have picked me over the moose hunter.
Chris Harlan
January 6, 2009 at 11:06 am
20Dear Dirk,
what are we going to do without you. I regularly laugh at your diary entries, and will miss them when the administrations change, just as I miss Samuel now that McCain is gone. Just wanted you to know that the diary is appreciated.
Chris Harlan
January 6, 2009 at 11:25 am
21Cooper, thanks for the PJ link. My favorite few lines:
Theater is revivals and revivals of revivals and stuff like musicals made out of old Kellogg’s Rice Krispies commercials, with Nathan Lane as “Snap.” More modern poetry is written than read. Modern architecture leaks and the builders left their plumb bobs at home. The most prominent contemporary art form is one that is completely unimaginative (or is supposed to be): the memoir.
Dale
January 6, 2009 at 3:31 pm
22Yes, I too enjoyed the diaries, Dirk. Here’s hoping Ken Salazar is also a fan of the site and keeps a diary…and that all it ever says are things like “6-30-09. Saved endangered species. Protected natural resources without sacrificing economic development. Spoke to Latino Youth empowerment organization. Had nice vegan supper. Watched The West Wing with Prez.”
Aunt Sam
January 6, 2009 at 4:47 pm
23Dale, I like your vision of the Ken Salazar Dep’t of the Interior.
WWDTM pulled out the old Obama ‘Not My Job’ segment- the bits where he’s talking about Mrs. Obama & Mrs. Salazar going to hear each other’s husband’s speeches (did I punctuate that properly?) was great.
Jerry, The King of Comedy!!!
January 6, 2009 at 7:02 pm
24I believe the days of partisanship in Washington are all safely behind us now. As if.
http://www.salon.com/comics/tomo/2009/01/06/tomo/
Dale
January 6, 2009 at 7:23 pm
25Warning, rant ahead.
While PJ’s piece is fine as a bit of comedy and I agree with his main point–Disney is lame–he betrays his purported criticism of the new House of the Future (not futuristic enough) when he gets to the end there, and reveals that what he really dislikes is the House of the Present, and what he really objects to in this House is that is not Past-istic enough (more Italian Renaissance, less 1990s). I can name 15 living working exciting artists and authors–why? Because I like (some) modern art and writing. PJ can’t because he doesn’t. Fine, but that’s not the same as saying nobody has an imagination anymore. And the Internet as only being used to sell 8 tracks and recipes? Hmmm, somebody hasn’t participated in a political movement, found a community, accessed a Freedom of Information Act document, researched a work of scholarship, or organized a class recently. In the end, PJ is doing exactly what he criticizes Disney for–using a false enthusiasm for the future to mask his true conservative lack of imagination.
Also I am a bit suspicious of his children’s purported reactions. Disney is Disney because, as much as its conservative non-imaginative “imaginative futurism” revolts ironic overeducated adults, kids lap it up. I bet Muffin was having a great time and just wishing her annoying father would stop experiencing everything with an eye towards a snarky article (full disclosure: I am the daughter of a snarky journalist.)
Aunt Sam
January 7, 2009 at 11:56 am
26Dale~
A sweet little antidote to grown-up snark:
http://www.ktuu.com/Global/story.asp?S=9621927
David
January 7, 2009 at 11:28 pm
27Dale,
It’s because you live in a magnet for people whose imaginations still work (and are valued). Down here on the edge of the Green Swamp, 20 miles from Disney World, however…
I do suspect younger folk about to erupt in a new burst of imagination, in part because the whole tenor of our society is about to be transformed.
Amen, amen, amen to 22.
Susie
January 13, 2009 at 8:14 pm
28Gregory: Funnnny.
Chris: Mucho love
madbard: Won’t take the request personally
Tim: Share and share alike
Zee: ha!
Sally: Merci. Wait — no peas yet. Am I doomed?! Eek!
Jason: Thanks! Sme to you.
piglet: How’s it going? I need a role model.