Comments on: From the Dept. of Prewritten Headlines http://fanaticalapathy.com/2008/06/21/from-the-dept-of-prewritten-headlines/ America's favorite blog Thu, 18 Mar 2010 05:04:32 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.0.11 by: gillian http://fanaticalapathy.com/2008/06/21/from-the-dept-of-prewritten-headlines/#comment-33691 Thu, 26 Jun 2008 00:48:08 +0000 http://fanaticalapathy.com/2008/06/21/from-the-dept-of-prewritten-headlines/#comment-33691 Sorry I'm a day late with The Tuesday Comedy Dump. I helped Jimmy put in a new carpet in his living room last night. We made short work of it and decided to celebrate by driving into Montpelier to check out the new Dairy Queen. The chocolate milkshake wasn't as good as you would have gotten at Tony's Drive-in back home, but Tony's is, after all, the gold standard. One of my cousins went to a convention in Las Vegas (in July!) and called in an order to Tony's for 3 gallons of ice cream to be packed into a cooler with as much dry ice as they could jam in there and overnighted it to his hotel room in Vegas. He invited all his clients up to his suite, offered them some of the ice cream, and wound up selling hydroscopic analyzers ($183,000 each) to three different municipal utility departments that evening. (Some say it was the ice cream; others think it might have been the Maui Wowie that he also had shipped in.) He became a legend in the home office and, of course, salesman of the month. But I digress. It's a good thing that race is no longer an issue in America, especially in Presidential election campaigns.... http://www.salon.com/comics/tomo/2008/06/24/tomo/ Sorry I’m a day late with The Tuesday Comedy Dump. I helped Jimmy put in a new carpet in his living room last night. We made short work of it and decided to celebrate by driving into Montpelier to check out the new Dairy Queen. The chocolate milkshake wasn’t as good as you would have gotten at Tony’s Drive-in back home, but Tony’s is, after all, the gold standard.

One of my cousins went to a convention in Las Vegas (in July!) and called in an order to Tony’s for 3 gallons of ice cream to be packed into a cooler with as much dry ice as they could jam in there and overnighted it to his hotel room in Vegas. He invited all his clients up to his suite, offered them some of the ice cream, and wound up selling hydroscopic analyzers ($183,000 each) to three different municipal utility departments that evening. (Some say it was the ice cream; others think it might have been the Maui Wowie that he also had shipped in.) He became a legend in the home office and, of course, salesman of the month.

But I digress. It’s a good thing that race is no longer an issue in America, especially in Presidential election campaigns….
http://www.salon.com/comics/tomo/2008/06/24/tomo/

]]> by: sharon http://fanaticalapathy.com/2008/06/21/from-the-dept-of-prewritten-headlines/#comment-33682 Wed, 25 Jun 2008 14:29:28 +0000 http://fanaticalapathy.com/2008/06/21/from-the-dept-of-prewritten-headlines/#comment-33682 Perhaps Rove's country club only hires Filipinos these days: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2008/06/24/bush-to-filipino-presiden_n_108985.html Perhaps Rove’s country club only hires Filipinos these days:

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2008/06/24/bush-to-filipino-presiden_n_1 08985.html

]]> by: siobhan http://fanaticalapathy.com/2008/06/21/from-the-dept-of-prewritten-headlines/#comment-33676 Wed, 25 Jun 2008 11:56:48 +0000 http://fanaticalapathy.com/2008/06/21/from-the-dept-of-prewritten-headlines/#comment-33676 Sharon, what Rove forgot to mention is that in his vision, Obama is one of the staff; you know how those guys love to talk among themselves. Rove's country club wouldn't actually allow Obama to be, you know, a <i>member.</i> Sharon, what Rove forgot to mention is that in his vision, Obama is one of the staff; you know how those guys love to talk among themselves. Rove’s country club wouldn’t actually allow Obama to be, you know, a member.

]]> by: Jake http://fanaticalapathy.com/2008/06/21/from-the-dept-of-prewritten-headlines/#comment-33675 Wed, 25 Jun 2008 11:56:00 +0000 http://fanaticalapathy.com/2008/06/21/from-the-dept-of-prewritten-headlines/#comment-33675 Gee, I don't know, sharon. Aren't three fingers pointing at you a bit excessive, even for Texas? Wouldn't <em>two</em> middle fingers pointing straight up be a sufficient response to Karl Rove? Gee, I don’t know, sharon. Aren’t three fingers pointing at you a bit excessive, even for Texas? Wouldn’t two middle fingers pointing straight up be a sufficient response to Karl Rove?

]]> by: sharon http://fanaticalapathy.com/2008/06/21/from-the-dept-of-prewritten-headlines/#comment-33674 Wed, 25 Jun 2008 11:47:58 +0000 http://fanaticalapathy.com/2008/06/21/from-the-dept-of-prewritten-headlines/#comment-33674 From the Department of You Just Can't Make This Stuff Up, by way of Maureen Dowd: " This was Rove’s take on Obama to Republicans at the Capitol Hill Club Monday, according to Christianne Klein of ABC News: “Even if you never met him, you know this guy. He’s the guy at the country club with the beautiful date, holding a martini and a cigarette that stands against the wall and makes snide comments about everyone who passes by.” Actually, that sounds more like W. " Karl Rove thinks we have forgotten the old Texas adage: "Whenever you point a finger at someone, there are three fingers pointing back at you." From the Department of You Just Can’t Make This Stuff Up, by way of Maureen Dowd:

” This was Rove’s take on Obama to Republicans at the Capitol Hill Club Monday, according to Christianne Klein of ABC News:

“Even if you never met him, you know this guy. He’s the guy at the country club with the beautiful date, holding a martini and a cigarette that stands against the wall and makes snide comments about everyone who passes by.”

Actually, that sounds more like W. ”

Karl Rove thinks we have forgotten the old Texas adage: “Whenever you point a finger at someone, there are three fingers pointing back at you.”

]]> by: siobhan http://fanaticalapathy.com/2008/06/21/from-the-dept-of-prewritten-headlines/#comment-33669 Wed, 25 Jun 2008 03:44:32 +0000 http://fanaticalapathy.com/2008/06/21/from-the-dept-of-prewritten-headlines/#comment-33669 Adam, personal request: smite the spammers, please. We'd do it if we could, but instead we look to you, our benevolent despot, to dispatch these heathen swine. Seeing them linger day after day makes us feel that we wallow with the unclean here in our trenches. Or something. Adam, personal request: smite the spammers, please.

We’d do it if we could, but instead we look to you, our benevolent despot, to dispatch these heathen swine. Seeing them linger day after day makes us feel that we wallow with the unclean here in our trenches.

Or something.

]]> by: David http://fanaticalapathy.com/2008/06/21/from-the-dept-of-prewritten-headlines/#comment-33666 Wed, 25 Jun 2008 01:54:42 +0000 http://fanaticalapathy.com/2008/06/21/from-the-dept-of-prewritten-headlines/#comment-33666 The MSM can moon over McCain to their hearts content, and they can run drivel as serious campaign commentary, but it is beginning to look like the day I have longed for, and wrote same to the NYT might be at hand: the day when the MSM can no longer shape public opinion. It is a trust they have failed miserably at, and with any luck at all they are about to receive their just rewards. For all the wackiness out there, the internet is a far superior source of information and analysis. One has to weed through the crap, of course, but you can sure as hell come away with a much better understanding that you can from the broadcast media, where the best are two journalists, Bill Moyers and Keith Olbermann, and two comedians, Jon Stewart and Steven Colbert, the latter being absolutely the brightest bulb in the chandelier. The only contemporary comedian I know of with Steven Colbert's mental horsepower and penchant for insight is Adam Felber. The MSM can moon over McCain to their hearts content, and they can run drivel as serious campaign commentary, but it is beginning to look like the day I have longed for, and wrote same to the NYT might be at hand: the day when the MSM can no longer shape public opinion. It is a trust they have failed miserably at, and with any luck at all they are about to receive their just rewards. For all the wackiness out there, the internet is a far superior source of information and analysis. One has to weed through the crap, of course, but you can sure as hell come away with a much better understanding that you can from the broadcast media, where the best are two journalists, Bill Moyers and Keith Olbermann, and two comedians, Jon Stewart and Steven Colbert, the latter being absolutely the brightest bulb in the chandelier. The only contemporary comedian I know of with Steven Colbert’s mental horsepower and penchant for insight is Adam Felber.

]]> by: A. Sleet http://fanaticalapathy.com/2008/06/21/from-the-dept-of-prewritten-headlines/#comment-33665 Wed, 25 Jun 2008 01:15:53 +0000 http://fanaticalapathy.com/2008/06/21/from-the-dept-of-prewritten-headlines/#comment-33665 The forecast is that the weather will continue to change - off and on - for a long ... long ... time. (Got any drugs?) The forecast is that the weather will continue to change - off and on - for a long … long … time. (Got any drugs?)

]]> by: siobhan http://fanaticalapathy.com/2008/06/21/from-the-dept-of-prewritten-headlines/#comment-33609 Tue, 24 Jun 2008 03:42:01 +0000 http://fanaticalapathy.com/2008/06/21/from-the-dept-of-prewritten-headlines/#comment-33609 Benny baby - we all have our cross to bear, so to speak. Benny baby - we all have our cross to bear, so to speak.

]]> by: Samuel http://fanaticalapathy.com/2008/06/21/from-the-dept-of-prewritten-headlines/#comment-33608 Tue, 24 Jun 2008 02:48:47 +0000 http://fanaticalapathy.com/2008/06/21/from-the-dept-of-prewritten-headlines/#comment-33608 I'd like to claim credit for the very enlightened pitch that Mr. McCain made today about a $300 million award for developing a next-gen car battery, but really it was Cindy's idea. I know, hard to believe. Actually, she came into HQ today all steamed because her cigarette lighter powered hair dryer killed the battery in her car while she was stopped for a red light. She had to call for a cab and wouldn't you know it, the driver was an uppity Negro! "Well, John, you simply have to do something about the automobile battery standards here in America." Charlie Black (The Lobbyist/Slimeball-in-Chief for the McCain 2008 Campaign) ran with that and started a brainstorming session with the people in the office. I said that McCain should have a platform barring uppity Negroes from interacting with rich white women - Cindy thought that was an excellent idea - but it got spiked. Someone in I.T. had heard about electric cars and the need to develop a Lithium-ion battery to make them more practical and attractive to the American public. (I made a mental note to remove all copies of Newsweek & Popular Mechanics from the men's restroom.) Well, with that germ of an idea sprouted, there was no stopping it. I wish the Obama campaign had beaten the Republicans to the punch with that idea. I tell you, they <em>should</em> have hired me when they had the chance. I guess I'll just have to keep chipping away from inside the McCain 2008 Campaign. I'll probably go to my grave, the only person aware of the sacrifices I've made for my country. Or..... maybe I'll write a book. I’d like to claim credit for the very enlightened pitch that Mr. McCain made today about a $300 million award for developing a next-gen car battery, but really it was Cindy’s idea. I know, hard to believe. Actually, she came into HQ today all steamed because her cigarette lighter powered hair dryer killed the battery in her car while she was stopped for a red light. She had to call for a cab and wouldn’t you know it, the driver was an uppity Negro! “Well, John, you simply have to do something about the automobile battery standards here in America.”

Charlie Black (The Lobbyist/Slimeball-in-Chief for the McCain 2008 Campaign) ran with that and started a brainstorming session with the people in the office. I said that McCain should have a platform barring uppity Negroes from interacting with rich white women - Cindy thought that was an excellent idea - but it got spiked.

Someone in I.T. had heard about electric cars and the need to develop a Lithium-ion battery to make them more practical and attractive to the American public. (I made a mental note to remove all copies of Newsweek & Popular Mechanics from the men’s restroom.) Well, with that germ of an idea sprouted, there was no stopping it. I wish the Obama campaign had beaten the Republicans to the punch with that idea. I tell you, they should have hired me when they had the chance. I guess I’ll just have to keep chipping away from inside the McCain 2008 Campaign. I’ll probably go to my grave, the only person aware of the sacrifices I’ve made for my country. Or….. maybe I’ll write a book.

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