I’ve been enjoying all your speculating (and your well-wishes. Thanks!) so much that I almost don’t want to explain my beamish boy’s middle name just yet. But that wouldn’t be fair, especially because there’s no way any of you could guess…
He’s named after my father, Norbert Q Felber. Who wasn’t, at birth, named Norbert Q Felber. I’ll explain.
Dad was born in Leipzig, Germany in 1931. In the late 30’s the family was forced to move, due to soaring housing costs and incipient genocide. I don’t mean to be glib about this - I lost both my grandparents and quite a lot of the extended family in Europe’s last and greatest epileptic fit. But my father and his sister made it to these shores in 1941, learned the language, and lived with a distant relative in Cleveland. By the 50’s my Dad had put himself through college and medical school. I know - an entirely impressive man he was, with giant shoes to fill. I don’t quite fill them. This is not a metaphor. Dad was a size 15. I’m a mere 14.
Anyway, when he joined the army, Dad was confronted with a problem. He had no middle name (I guess they were too expensive in depression-era Germany ), and the US Army apparently wanted him to sign “N.M.N.” or “N.M.I.” in the middle of his name every time he signed a document. My efficiency-minded father rebelled at this concept, said so, and when he found out he could choose an initial, he jumped at the chance.
Norbert Q Felber was born. He liked that he could tell people that no, it didn’t stand for anything. He liked the peculiarity of the letter. It made him laugh. And so, even years after the army, he hung onto it. I remember seeing it on various plaques and knick-knacks around his office, and my mother often affectionately called him by his “full” name.
Norbert Q Felber passed away almost a decade ago, and I still think of him every day. Hugo, Sebastian’s cousin, already has his grand-dad’s first name as his own middle name. Baz, like his grampa, and like Harry Truman, gets a simple, flexible letter as his middle name. A name that will also serve him should he choose to become an immortal, omnipotent being inhabiting an exotic continuum, manifest himself as a wrathful, winged, Aztec serpent-god, or just design GPS fountain pens that shoot poison darts for a living.

I think it suits him.
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Zee Man
March 30, 2008 at 4:18 pm
1In all modesty, I think you really must agree that my story of F J Burnet came the closest to the mark. At least as a concept - the letter doesn’t stand for a name. It was just a letter. And, as Cooper would no doubt be whining right now, if he’d had the correct answer - “So, did I win anything?”
YLlama
March 30, 2008 at 4:30 pm
2I think it suits him too. But I still say the Q has to stand for something. Even if it’s something young Sebastian will have to choose later in life.
It's Pat!
March 30, 2008 at 5:08 pm
3Hey neat! I sort of guessed right about Q. What a great post Adam. Thanks for sharing about your family.
Dee
March 30, 2008 at 6:09 pm
4As someone who has no middle name either (Mom always said she was too tired) I find this story absolutely charming. And I can just imagine 20 years or so from now that some young lady will find it absolutely charming, too. Better than a “dueling” scar!
Susie
March 30, 2008 at 6:25 pm
5So sweet and so well told there is not a dry eye in this house. Thanks for it. Big love to the babe of delishiousness,
S
Aunt Sam
March 30, 2008 at 7:05 pm
6Congratulations on a happy healthy baby. Being a parent was/is both more work and more fun than I could ever have anticipated.
One of the nicest things you can do for your wife is to bring her a very large glass of cold water every time she sits down to feed the baby.
If anyone has any suggestions on the nicest thing to do for a woman with 11 & 13 year-old daughters, I’ll be happy to pass them on to my beloved.
James
March 30, 2008 at 7:27 pm
7Ha, it’s a running gag.
Chris Harlan
March 31, 2008 at 1:17 am
8What a delightful story.
PS: The “wrathful, winged, Aztec serpent-god” stage doesn’t come until the age of fourteen or so. Though it can be earlier. There are days I’d swear my sweet nine year old is entering the pre-”wrathful, winged, Aztec serpent-god” stage right now, but that may be just from her watching Teen Nick.
James
March 31, 2008 at 1:33 am
9PS: I prefer to think of him as being named using randomly drawn letters from a Scrabble bag. The Q just didn’t go anywhere, but it does improve his score.
cooper
March 31, 2008 at 3:44 am
10Do I really whine?
Landis
March 31, 2008 at 7:38 am
11He said in a whiny voice.
Steve
March 31, 2008 at 7:51 am
12I have a similar middle initial, which I chose for similar reasons (no, I didn’t join the Army, but similar, believe me).
My middle initial is “P”, which, when pressed, I will admit stands for “Pseudonym”.
sharon
March 31, 2008 at 10:15 am
13The Greeks frequently don’t bestow middle names on infants, either. The default first name for the first-born male is the paternal grandfather’s given name, and the default middle name is the father’s given name. That’s why you find Greek families where the cousins are named Steven James, Steven John, Steven George, and Steven Michael.
Fran
March 31, 2008 at 11:22 am
14Well done! My sweet Lillian has no middle name - her mother said she couldn’t come up with anything that went with Lillian, and figured she’d choose her confirmation name. Ha! - and it has been a bit of a bother for her, especially during her Army years. So Q is perfect, as is Baz!
Anonymous Mother of All Felbers
March 31, 2008 at 11:31 am
15Norbert Q. M.D. would have been even prouder and pleaseder than I am, if that’s possible.
It's Pat!
March 31, 2008 at 1:01 pm
16Steve, why do you press it? Does it get wrinkled from use? Change to Patrick and enjoy all the benefits thereof.
Dale
March 31, 2008 at 1:28 pm
17In Spain (and Latin America) everyone has two last names–your first one is your father’s last name and the second one is your mother’s maiden name. (Note to American bookstores: don’t make me come re-alphabetize your Latin American and Spanish authors. Garcia Marquez goes under G. or I WILL make a scene.) Anyway, when I tried to register online for various Spanish research sites, they insisted I have two last names. I couldn’t put my middle name as my first last name because it would become my last name (like the Garcia in Garcia Marquez) and it seemed weird to put my middle name last because then to me it looked like my last name. So I just doubled my last name….which makes me now Dale Sugar Sugar to all Spain.
Vinnie
March 31, 2008 at 1:43 pm
18Yo. Dale is certainly sweet young lady.
My friend’s name is Jimmy Steve and his brudder is Billy Ray. I guess dat makes ‘em Greek, huh? And I always t’ought dey was Irish.
Chris Harlan
March 31, 2008 at 2:48 pm
19Dale–you are my candy, girl.
Just Jay
March 31, 2008 at 4:40 pm
20Adam, you and I have a history in common. My dad too was born in Germany. His father made the mistake of marrying a Jew and spent the final year of the war in a labor camp. His mother went into hiding. My dad defected to the American Army where he worked as an interpreter for the OSS, and was a bit of fixer according to stories he told. Arrived on these shores in 1946. Both his parents survived, and escaped East Germany through Berlin before the wall went up. He died in 2004. I know what you mean about missing him every day.
Jay
Boomer
March 31, 2008 at 5:35 pm
21Okay, let me get this straight, Adam. You have size 14 feet (I had no idea, big boy) and your dad’s size was 15. Well it seems quite obvious to me that if you were to wear a couple of pairs of athletic socks, you’d fit right in those shoes. (Doesn’t Jeanne help you with these sorts of quandaries?) Anyways, call on me whenever; I’m here to serve.
SallyMutant
March 31, 2008 at 5:55 pm
22Adam, it’s good to know that background; there could be no better reason for the Q. And if you don’t fill your dad’s shoes, you certainly write about them (and everything else in that posting) with a fine blend of levity and eloquence. So Baz can be proud of his dad too.
Dulce Dale–your name story is pretty damn funny.
Dirk's Diary
March 31, 2008 at 6:24 pm
233-31-08
Dear Diary,
Well, Mildred’s still here serving as my office manager, but it’s strictly on a week to week basis. I’m afraid that when summer comes, she’ll hop on her Harley and ride off into the sunset. I’ve been ordering beignets from a pastry chef down in New Orleans by the dozen, having them flown in every night, and leaving a fresh batch on her desk each morning. It’s costing me a fortune, but if she’ll just be persuaded to stay on until the inauguration, maybe I’ll be able to leave this stinking hell-hole with a modicum of dignity. Maybe.
The last few weeks have been quite pleasant here in DC with the cherry trees blooming early and Cheney’s being out of the country. I think he’s back in DC now, but they’re no doubt doing exhaustive medical tests and keeping him out of the sunlight in one of his many suburban Washington bunkers. Keeping Cheney out of the sunlight is a new precaution, and, oh yeah, Steven Hadley has ordered that all of the mirrors must come off the walls. That does seem to mesh quite well with his blood sucking personality.
Alonzo Jackson, one of W’s cohorts from Texas and, until today, the director of HUD, resigned to “spend more time with his family” and, I suppose, to practice his perp walk. I heard Michael Jackson is helping him learn the moon walk, which may come in handy after the warrants are issued, the cuffs are on, and the TV cameras are rolling. Oh hell, what’s one more scandal after these past seven years.
Time to hit the sack. Goodnight diary.
Dirk
David
March 31, 2008 at 6:50 pm
24I think Edith, the Mother of Really Cool Felbers and Grandmother of Their Really Cool Young ‘Uns offered the perfect toast to this carrying forward of the proudest letter in the Felber alphabet and making Norbert Q the pleasedest grandfather for a second time.
The family I worked for in their family grocery store in Goldenrod, Florida (cultural hub of the occident), the Spelzhausens (Emil and Rosa), left Germany in the 30s and settled in Cleveland as well, then moved to Goldenrod in the early 50s with their two young adult sons and established our community grocery store/Pure Oil station. Good people.
tess
March 31, 2008 at 11:44 pm
25Gee, I wish I had a back story like that. Instead, I just end up telling people that my mother was suffering the side effects from an epidural whenever any questions come up.
Dale
April 1, 2008 at 9:04 am
26It’s Pat wrote: “Steve, why do you press it? Does it get wrinkled from use?”
Why does he press it? Cuz it’s ironic!
Theo
April 1, 2008 at 2:37 pm
27Forget the “Q” story. With the name “Sebastian,” the kids getting his ass kicked in middle school, that’s a given, and the “Q” story will only get him “second helpings.”
Good luck, kid. I know what it’s like.
Theodore
Jason
April 1, 2008 at 2:58 pm
28Congrats on being a dad, though it may be a bit too late…
Ann
April 1, 2008 at 3:50 pm
29That’s just what I’d been thinking, Theo. At least Norbert acquired the initial as an adult. Poor little Baz is just in for multiple schoolyard whoopin’s.
But I didn’t want to say anything that would suggest less than wholehearted enthusiasm for Adam’s kid’s name. I’d hate to be perceived as negative around here.
Jim (OJNTNJ)
April 1, 2008 at 4:51 pm
30Ann, As far as I’m concerned you’re always welcome here as long as you don’t CUT OFF ALL OUR HEADS or MAKE OFF WITH OUR WIMMIN, KIDS, AND CATS.
A little dissent is good for any discussion. Your comments, unlike others, tend to be thought provoking rather than merely obnoxious.
gillian
April 1, 2008 at 6:01 pm
31I have to agree with Theo and Ann - the boy will have his butt handed to him from time to time. Of course, boys tend to find ways to humiliate and insult those of their own kind, so it matters not what you name your child, he’ll still have to peck his way to a comfortable level in the food chain.
I wonder how the primary season is going -
http://www.salon.com/comics/tomo/2008/03/31/tomo/
Oh good, no surprises.
Zee Man
April 1, 2008 at 6:16 pm
32That certainly was amusing, gillian. This is great fun, as well. http://www.crooksandliars.com/2008/04/01/jon-stewart-exposes-bushs-sur ge-doublespeak/
David
April 1, 2008 at 6:42 pm
33You don’t get your butt kicked for a nickname like Baz. And I suspect someone from the gene talent pool from which Sebastian Q hails won’t have to be at the mercy of the whims of your average schoolyard kids. Besides, he looks big enough to do the ass-kicking, if it comes to that. And if he does get teased, he has backup that can help him develop his wit and offer the kind of responses that leave lesser minds with their mouths hanging open.
Baz Felber works. So does a barrel chest and a solid right, or talent right out of the gate. Even the kids who made fun of me in elementary school cheered when I won the spelling bee as a representative of my class. I was actually surprised when I walked back into the room to a round of applause, because I was not one of the popular kids. But I was that day. Baz will be doing things like that while he’s still in diapers. Besides, look into Jeanne’s eyes in the picture in Adam’s post announcing Sebastian Q’s arrival. The kid has world class backup.
And gillian got this right: “Of course, boys tend to find ways to humiliate and insult those of their own kind, so it matters not what you name your child….”
Down my way, Bass T would work like a charm as a nickname, in part because out here on the edge of the Green Swamp people would assume that was his name, not a nickname. The would just want to know what the T stood for.
tess
April 1, 2008 at 8:14 pm
34If the bullying starts, you might want to consider martial arts just so he knows how to hit back (though you’d have to be careful about making it clear that he’d be in big trouble if he does). Sometimes just knowing how to defend yourself makes you act confident enough to put you higher on the pecking order — something to do with primitive brain function in children and adolescents.
hedera
April 1, 2008 at 8:36 pm
35It’s so nice when Jon Stewart says what I’m thinking, because he’s funnier than I am.
James
April 1, 2008 at 9:19 pm
36“Baz Q Felber” isn’t any better. See, Adam, you’re already a horrible father.
Franklin
April 2, 2008 at 5:51 am
37You should have named your son Adam Sebastian; nickname - Ad Baz. All the homeys would just assume he was such a primal, knuckle-walking SOB, that Ad Baz was a street cred name for “Bad Ass” and your son would get a pass. Oh, a life of missed opportunities! I definitely see a well mannered private school in his future, as well as a house inside a gated community. And now a dive back into the lounge, where tonight’s headliner is Bix Boynton, the legendary Wayne Newton impersonator, just off a somewhat successful one day gig in Altoona, PA. (I hope he opens with “Danke Schon”.)
Adam Felber
April 2, 2008 at 7:25 am
38Thanks for the kind words!
As for the predictions of ass kickin’, um, “thanks.” It’s the kids with the rarer, freakish names like “Steven” and “Seth” that I worry about.
http://www.babynamewizard.com/namevoyager/lnv0105.html
Time, she moves on.
dee
April 2, 2008 at 8:16 am
39I was going to write something about the advantages of having an unusual name until Adam posted that link. Looks like kindergarten is going to be crawling with Sebastians.
To go back to my original thought, however, nobody ever asks “Geraldine Who?” when I call them.
Dave von Ebers
April 2, 2008 at 10:10 am
40Okay, I know I’m way late weighing in on this thread but I love the derivation of “Q” - just Q.
Reminds me, in an odd sorta way, of how we got the “von” tacked onto our rather Eastern-European Jewish name. Seems my grandfather, who came over to these shores in 1912 aboard the (ahem) Kaiser Wilhelm II (I kid you not), signed onto the ship’s manifest as “Ebers” … but when he got to Ellis Island, he apparently “upgraded” to von Ebers … ‘cuz, who was gonna know, know what I’m sayin’? I mean, it’s not like they checked your credentials when you stepped off the boat. And so a whole new family o’ “vons” was born. (Which, of course, meant next to nothing in the US; but I think my granddad thought it would make him, ya know, “important” over here, to be a “von” ‘n all.)
Oh, and by the way … trust me, you never get hassled as a kid with a “small-v” von in your last name. Nope. Not at all … ‘Cuz that’s, like, totally normal.
Dave von Ebers
April 2, 2008 at 10:13 am
41And apropos of the last few comments, my boys … Paul and Mark … are considered to have “weird” names these days, what with all the Jacksons and Blakes and whatnot.
Ann
April 2, 2008 at 11:24 am
42Thanks for the link, Gillian. It opened to the first page of Salon, so naturally I was drawn to the article about Obama’s “slick” ads. I was also amused at his fabrications regarding his family’s connection to the Kennedys. Nice to see that he’s not immune to the lure of dishonest self-promotion either!
Just Jay
April 2, 2008 at 4:27 pm
43To paraphrase a favorite author, and occasional Wait Wait panelist Tom Bodett “mean schoolyard kids will find a way to make fun of any name”. So go for it!
Jay
SallyMutant
April 2, 2008 at 10:25 pm
44Dirk:
Cheney should be among the famous monsters of filmland, but we thought he was equivalent to “The Creature,” in 1932’s “Frankenstein.” In most stills of him he appears to be swatting his arms about and growling “Rrrrrghya.” (We always supply the “Rrrrrghya” when we see stills on TV with the sound muted. Try, it it’s fun.) But as you’re the cabinet insider, yeah, bloodsucking makes sense, and the undisclosed underground locations are right out of Bram Stoker.
My motto is “There’s nothing wrong with ambivalence, is there?” So now that the potential name probs are here, I’d still like to be positive & supportive, but Q is shorthand for gay. To avoid the schoolyard homophobia of little bitty mean kids (which at the little bitty level is their parents fault); perhaps spell the letter–Q is for Queue, not Queer Rights. But that means the horrid little homophobic kids win, and what do they know? Help me, I could go on and on (see motto). . must. . . stop. . now. . .
Sebastian, Baz , no ambivalence; I can confirm that’s not too exotic compared to names of current babies.
Thanks Adam, for the precious time you took to check in and reply.
SeattleTammy
April 2, 2008 at 10:46 pm
45Found a cartoon for Baz. He’ll dig it. Daddy-o too!
dee
April 3, 2008 at 3:46 am
46Oh my sweet lobster! Beany and Cecil first thing in the morning. Thank you, ST!
Zeke
April 3, 2008 at 5:05 am
47Dee …. nobody ever asks “Geraldine Who?” when I call them. Um…. who’s Geraldine? Oh, wait, is that you?
dee
April 3, 2008 at 5:09 am
48And by the way, is everyone aware that our favorite radio program has snagged a rather prestigious award?
Sue
April 3, 2008 at 6:25 am
49Hurrah for Peter, Carl and company!!
The Lurkers’ Lounge will be positively awash in Makers Mark!!
Dave von Ebers
April 3, 2008 at 6:57 am
50Wait, didn’t Bill O’Reilly win a Peabody Award?
Oh, no, that was a Polk Award. Peabody, Polk … what’s the difference.
Hey, they both start with “P” don’t they?
Boomer
April 3, 2008 at 9:09 am
51Good one, Dave. And, as Keith Olbermann would be quick to point out, O’Reilly’s program won the Polk Award over a year after Bill left the program. Details! Details!
Boomer
April 3, 2008 at 9:15 am
52Dee, thanks for the link. I noticed The Colbert Report won a Peabody as well.
Jim (OJNTNJ)
April 3, 2008 at 11:45 am
53I believe Bill O’Reilly mistook the Peabody award for the Peabrain award that he so richly deserved.
Is it an ad hominem attack if it’s true? Dave von E, a little comprehensive translegal-slation, if you don’t mind.
Dave von Ebers
April 3, 2008 at 12:55 pm
54Dunno, Jim. My Latin’s a little rusty. I remember trying to paint “Romans Go Home” on the side of a fortress in Judea once, but I couldn’t distinguish between the accusative and the dative case.
Hail Caesar.
Anyways, Bill O. deserves whatever he gets, ask me.
Aunt Sam
April 3, 2008 at 1:46 pm
55Selfishly OT here- any suggestions for programs that make good listening via podcast?
Obviously WWDTM, and I like Bill Maher’s RealTime. Although I enjoy Jon Stewart, his show is too visual to ‘get’ while I’m wandering around the house, trying to justify being a stay-at-home mom.
Jim (OJNTNJ)
April 3, 2008 at 1:48 pm
56Well Dave,
I don’t know which case you would use for the latin translation for “Romans go home,” but I’m more interested in whether you meant it as a declarative or imperative sentence.
ellen
April 3, 2008 at 2:19 pm
57He’s a beautiful baby. Congratulations!
Dave von Ebers
April 3, 2008 at 2:59 pm
58Imperative. Most definitely, imperative.
Dave von Ebers
April 3, 2008 at 3:00 pm
59That is to say, you’ve got to really hate the Romans if you want to join the PFJ. I mean, like, a lot.
Zee Man
April 3, 2008 at 6:30 pm
60Aunt Sam, try Fresh Air, the Diane Rehm Show, This American Life or even Science Friday, if you possess the requisite geekiness required for admittance to this club. I assume you do.
Aunt Sam
April 3, 2008 at 8:51 pm
61Thanks for the suggestions, Zee Man. I’ll try to be worthy of your geek faith in me.
Erich
April 18, 2008 at 4:03 am
62Congratulations. He’s absolutely beautiful and I love the idea of having “Q” for a middle initial.