…or service. You may have noticed we’ve been down for most of the day. I’m taking advantage of a small window of opportunity to check in. It’s all the fault of my internet host’s former… host. They’re now in the midst of a server migration that they’ve started to call an “evacuation.” So you know it can’t be good.
In mere hours I’ll be heading off to Chicago for “Wait Wait.” Hopefully, this will all be behind us by then.
Courage!
Fanny Roborat
36 comments
YLlama
December 19, 2007 at 6:40 pm
1Courage is for cowards. Long live King Kong!
Dirk's Diary
December 19, 2007 at 6:40 pm
212-19-07
Dear Diary,
The headlines read “Fire Damages Cheney’s Ceremonial office next to the White House” today. The cause of the fire is still unknown.
“It appears to be an electrical room or closet or a telephone bank,” White House spokeswoman Dana Perino said.
Okay, that’s the official line from the White House, but my sources tell me different. Mildred had roller bladed over to the building this morning because she feels they have the very best bran muffins in DC. She brought me one last week and I think she’s right about that. Mildred somehow managed to climb the steps, still wearing her blades, to the coffee shop on the second floor. As she was rolling down the hall to the shop, she went past Cheney’s office and stuck her head in the door to see how it is decorated these days. Long story short - the VP was burning all manner of video tapes, transcripts and what looked to Mildred to be the 18-1/2 minute gap from the Nixon tapes. All that evidence was being dumped into a raging fire in the official Ceremonial fireplace. Well, when Mildred opened the door to the office, the fire flared up and caught the curtains on fire. Mildred screamed at Cheney about the curtains, but he was in the “zone” and kept shoveling more and more papers into the fireplace. We saw the results on our TV screens tonight. Of course, the White House lied and said that Cheney was in the daily intelligence briefing in the Situation Room at the time of the fire.
Mildred skated back to the office and was out of sorts all day because she didn’t get a muffin. I wonder if the coffee shop delivers. I missed my muffin today, too.
Dirk
dee
December 19, 2007 at 7:04 pm
3I just thought the folks at “Tub Mortars” had stolen your blog.
David
December 19, 2007 at 9:18 pm
4Is it true Cheney was chanting, “Burn, baby, burn”?
hedera
December 19, 2007 at 9:37 pm
5Talk about great minds thinking alike: I heard about the fire on the radio this morning and thought, Cheney must not believe the Supreme Court will uphold his executive privilege adequately, so he’s burning the evidence…
Dave von Ebers
December 20, 2007 at 8:11 am
6Adam - you’re coming to the Windy City? Damn. Looks like I’ll have to vacate my hotel room(s).
It's Pat!
December 20, 2007 at 4:21 pm
7There’s a snowstorm coming to the Plains (title is so apt)!!! Adam, you be careful!
I’m heading for Nebraska (isn’t everyone?), and have to go through Iowa, which is mickle icky in a snowstorm.
For all of us - I wish you all good health, and peace in the coming year.
D. Rather
December 20, 2007 at 8:16 pm
8OK, Felber, I warned you about using my trademarked closer “courage”. Best cut it out, partner, or I’ll have to kick your butt like a sea buzzard up a Chinaberry tree!
piglet
December 21, 2007 at 10:06 am
9What’s the frequency, Kenneth?
Julia
December 21, 2007 at 10:30 am
10It’s Pat - stop by for coffee. Wait - I’m out of coffee.
Stop by for a martini.
Benjamin
December 21, 2007 at 12:16 pm
11It looks like Colbert and Stewart will be joining the network shows in returning to the air without their writers.
They say they want to be able to pay all the non-writing staff.
I know nothing about how such things work but it seems to me if the hosts of these shows really want to show support for the Writer’s Guild they should announce that their first guest will be a representative of the Guild to present their side in the contract disagreement.
Outside of YouTube the writer’s haven’t been given much of a voice. This would be a great way for the various late night hosts to support the Writers, more than bring donuts to the picket lines.
I’m sure there are big holes in my understanding of the issues and my logic. I’m hoping some of you good folk can point them out to me.
Ann
December 21, 2007 at 12:22 pm
12Pat, please say hello to my family in Iowa as you drive through. I’ll be visiting them in the new year (when exactly is the Great Lobster’s holiday celebrated?) Here’s a link to a photo of one of the Lobster’s acolytes:
http://gofugyourself.typepad.com/go_fug_yourself/2007/12/my-super-fug- gi.html#more
(scroll down to the second photo)
becca (and brian)
December 21, 2007 at 2:37 pm
13Ann, were you on a much-delayed flight from MSP to PDX on Dec 13th? I could swear I saw you, but I was stuck in a Window seat and couldn’t get up.
Becca
Ann
December 21, 2007 at 3:53 pm
14Maybe. Or maybe that was a decoy. Who knows??
gregory
December 21, 2007 at 4:01 pm
15Ann, thanks for the link, but IMHO it will take more than oven mitts to put me off of Uma Thurman. The Lobster Lady was interesting, but I have to admit I scrolled down and clicked on Scarlett Johansson’s link. She just melts my heart.
Boomer
December 21, 2007 at 4:16 pm
16The next time you hear a Republican presidential candidate start wailing about socialized medicine, send ‘em this link -
http://www.crooksandliars.com/2007/12/21/nataline-sarkisyan-passes-awa y-shame-on-cigna/
Are they the only ones who think that the current American health care system is the best on the planet?
cooper
December 21, 2007 at 4:51 pm
17piglet, the guy who assaulted Dan Rather and inquired about the frequency lived in Charlotte. His name is William Tager. I have a buddy that used to own a business across the street from an abandoned warehouse that this guy owned. He was quite a piece of work. My friend, Dennis, had a long list of eccentric incidents that this guy managed to inject himself into, including a rant at Dennis’ female employee about how Dennis’ customers were parking their cars in front of his shop. (We parked correctly, BTW.) He often came roaring out of his alleyway in his pick-up truck with the peddle to the metal and with no regard for oncoming traffic. He went on to shoot and kill an employee outside of the NBC headquarters in NYC. He confessed to being Rather’s assailant after they arrested him for the murder. He was convinced that the TV networks were beaming thoughts into his head. Why Mr. Tager didn’t just go out and buy some tin foil is one of life’s great mysteries.
Murray
December 21, 2007 at 6:13 pm
18Merry Solstice day!
My local hick newspaper pointed out that this was the shortest day of the year because the earth is the farthest from the sun on this day. Acutaly that is 100% wrong, twice. Oh well, all of their editorials are wrong too.
piglet
December 21, 2007 at 6:50 pm
19Wow, “eccentric” loses all its entertainment value when it turns deadly.
I still like the REM song.
dee
December 22, 2007 at 3:51 am
20Oh Murray, that’s wonderful. Once Mike Huckabee is elected they can report that the reason it’s the shortest day of the year is because Jesus wants it that way.
cooper
December 22, 2007 at 5:50 am
21Indeed it does, piglet. Indeed it does.
Jason
December 22, 2007 at 5:05 pm
22Everything’s back to normal; I checked the other day…
just plain Jack
December 22, 2007 at 6:07 pm
23I wonder what Bill Maher is doing during the writer’s strike. Oh, look! He’s writing a column for Rolling Stone titled “In My Humble Opinion”. This issue’s article is “Dickheads of the Year, My Picks for the Biggest Assholes of 2007″. We’ll rejoice to learn that Bush, Alberto Gonzales, Rudy Giuliani, and “The Asshole Who Shot Up Virginia Tech” all made the cut. The Veep is mysteriously absent, but that’s just Bill’s opinion. Dick Cheney would have definitely made my list.
Pope Benny 16
December 22, 2007 at 7:20 pm
24Tony Blair has converted to Catholicism!!! Oh, Happy Day! Of course, we’ve been working on him for years. His wife and children are Catholic, but he hesitated changing over while he was in office because some of his lawyers believed that 19th century laws could actually prevent a Catholic from becoming prime minister. It was also thought a conversion could have provoked a conflict with his role in appointing Anglican bishops and he might have also felt the need to tread carefully while mediating in the Northern Ireland peace process between the province’s Catholic and Protestant communities. And of course, Tony would have had to have changed his mind on a number of political issues such as abortion and civil partnerships for gay couples. He really does have quite a few radical beliefs. I hope he doesn’t turn out to be a pain in the ass.
Mr. Zefferelli was right. He’s only been working with me for a few days and I’ve already lost my German accent. Sehr gut, ja?!! Oops.
Cardinal Bernie is back from his mission to Ibiza, but so far he’s been rather vague about the location of Father Guido. I’ll have to press him on that tomorrow after Mass.
David
December 22, 2007 at 8:36 pm
25When the Mike Huckabee/Jesus the Christ ticket carries the ‘08 election, there will be no more elections because: 1) the apocalypse cannot be far behind; 2) having Jesus the Christ as veep trumps the two-term limit; and 3) what the hell would be the point of any more elections if Huckabee can win?
Only thing is, I don’t think Huckabee (or any Republican) can get Jesus to sign on to what the Republicans intend. So go with your delusions, Mike: win the Republican nomination and force American voters to come to their senses in large enough numbers that the election can’t be stolen. OK, OK, so I seem to be dreaming, but remember: Bush/Cheney was America’s second choice in ‘00 and ‘04.
Problem was the narrow margin by which they were #2. And yes, tin hat or no tin hat, Ohio was manipulated in ‘04 using exactly the same strategies as were used in Florida in ‘00, only more effectively. Kerry did finally recognize this reality, but only after it no longer made any difference.
Ann, you came up with a winner with that link to Ms. Great Lobster, and in the sky, no less. I felt a rush of reverence when it appeared on my monitor. And for sheer cosmological elegance, it does trump my other favorite deity, the FSM.
SeattleDan
December 22, 2007 at 9:01 pm
26it’s the old Christian conflict, David, between James and Paul. James tells us that faith without works is dead; Paul tells us that the just shall live by faith alone. Huck is with the latter. The argument goes without referencing what Jesus actually said, and if one does, I think James wins. BTW, James is the reputed Brother of Jesus.
Of course, a lot of this depends upon your point of view about an after-life. I don’t think there is one. Even for George W. Bush. If there were one, I know where he’d be going.
waterfowler
December 23, 2007 at 7:13 am
27Merry Christmas Y’all.
Boomer
December 23, 2007 at 7:44 am
28Happy Holidays to you, too, wf. Thanks for the kind thought.
hedera
December 23, 2007 at 4:47 pm
29Merry Christmas, waterfowler and everyone else.
I’ve gotten tired of the political correctness; if somebody calls me on it I’ll wish them a happy whatever, but otherwise it’s “Merry Christmas”.
And no, this does NOT mean I’m voting for the Huckabee/Jesus ticket - I’m a Democrat. If that matters any more.
David
December 23, 2007 at 6:38 pm
30Definitely Merry Christmas, waterfowler, and all you other Felbernauts.
It is Merry Christmas, and it is Happy Chanukah, and it is Happy Kwanzaa, and it is Happy Ramadan, and it is Season’s Greetings. None of them is wrong, and none is exclusively right.
It matters, hedera, it matters. FDR mattered, HST mattered, JFK mattered, JEC mattered (and still matters), and likewise for WJC. They were all flawed, but the only Republican who could remotely run with them, at least in my lifetime (I span all of them), was DDE, who wasn’t affiliated with any party while he was Supreme Allied Commander.
Seattle Dan, I finally settled on the afterlife as unknowable, just as god is unknowable, leaving them utterly open questions I gather the majority of people feel a need to answer (except for the Navajo, if I understand correctly). But I do agree with you that Jesus’ brother James wins hands down over Paul. I generally tend to think that people who do not make good works the focus of their lives are dead as human beings. My favorite quote continues to be: “The reason we are here is to help each other through this thing called life, whatever it is.” I do admit that this is wild-eyed idealism, but idealism stikes me as the most important feature of human sentience, even though I realize idealism without a solid grounding in necessary realities is probably pointless. And heaven forfend that the “spokespeople for Jesus” should pay any attention to what he, the PRINCE OF PEACE, actually had to say, as best we can determine.
Murray
December 25, 2007 at 10:21 am
31Yes Jesus could run for Republican VP, as long as he is willing to change a few minor details such as what he said, what he did, and what he stood for. Easy revisions such as “It is harder for a POOR man to enter the Kingdom of God than for a camel to go though the eye of a needle” can be done with little fuss. We just have Jesus dumping those 12 freeloading bum fishermen for the rich and powerful of the day, and have him chasing out the beggars who are getting in the way of the rich money changes as they do their important work in the Temple. Jesus LEADS the crowd in throwing rocks at a woman caught in the crime of having sex, (The John is presumably helping out in the crowd), until she is dead, proclaiming “We cannot be soft on crime!” His new title is “Prince of Righteous Christian War”
Not only is it simple enough to change Jesus, the Republicans already have.
Afterlife? A lot of wishful thinking. What proof do we have other than what others have said? Nothing at all. What sense does it make? We are born, live, die and our essence lives on. Where? How? Why?
I have no proof that it doesn’t exist. On the other hand I shouldn’t have to prove that something doesn’t exist. Science never asks for that.
Ann
December 25, 2007 at 10:46 pm
32Oh, Murray–I just melt when you talk that way! Yes, the truth about an afterlife and god is unknowable in exactly the same way that the truth about fairies, elves, the influence of the stars on our lives, and “The Secret” is unknowable.
And it is important to acknowledge that not every American is a Christian, especially during this interminable runup to the ‘08 election, so Happy New Year, everyone!
David
December 26, 2007 at 6:48 am
33No need whatsoever to prove or unprove the unprovable, except for those people who feel a need for the unprovable (or something like that). I personally enjoy being an unrepentant, unreconstructed wild-eyed liberal secular humanist who evolved from Kentucky Primitive Baptist/Missouri Catholic/Philadelphia Quaker roots.
Ann, based on what I’ve seen, not a hell of a lot of self-proclaimed Christian Americans are Christians, at least not followers of what I understand to be the teachings of someone who, had he been born around the time I was, would have had his birth certificate read illegitimate. Not at all sure how one could be any more not-Christian than George Bush, Dick Cheney, and the whole thundering herd of prominent televangelists and Limbaughesque talk show gasbags.
I must add that stars do influence my life, at least on a clear night, when the amazing wonder of the observable trumps the fictions in which we currently find ourselves awash (drowning?).
Ann
December 26, 2007 at 12:11 pm
34Seattle in winter…we only hear rumors of stars in the night sky. And yet, I believe!
Murray
December 26, 2007 at 3:17 pm
35Oh, Ann, if I weren’t so happy with Jane….
That and I get really morose when I haven’t seen the sun in a couple of days. I think that Seattle would be as hard for me as the hellish heat of Florida.
David
December 26, 2007 at 7:47 pm
36And I with Robyn…. Murray, cyclists are loving Florida right now. You were traumatized by the wrong time, wrong particular place, and wrong circumstances. Gainesville, by the way, has more bikes per capita than any other place in Florida, and Tallahassee has some great backroad rides. I once did 10-miler that turned into a 50-miler on an old Schwinn 10-speed. Sunday morning, not much traffic, the state road past Wakulla Springs, a three-legged alligator sauntering across the road because our bikes didn’t startle him. That was 30 years ago, but I think that ride might still be possible. I do concede that there are probably no rides in Florida to compare to what is possible up your way. But it’s just hot, not hellishly hot, in the summer. OK, so sometimes it’s egg-frying hot….
Going out right now to look again for Mars, Ann. We got the Seattle shaft on the primo night, but did at least get to see it in and out of the clouds last night (it didn’t flare and fade, so it wasn’t a launch).
Will send mental images of the next starry night Seattle way, if my telepathograph is working.
Yep, 10:43 pm est, straight overhead, brightest star up there - in fact, about the only one visible because of light cloud cover and light pollution over here in Winter Park - but more yellowish than orange. Do keep believing in what is, even if Seattle’s skies insist on denying the existence of stars.