I’d like to take a break from the big issues for a moment. Let’s change the world in a small but significant way. It won’t even be too hard.

If you’re like me (and who isn’t, am I right!?), then you spend a lot of your day on the internet. And a portion of that time is spent, increasingly, silently fuming about obtrusive advertisements. You know, the ones that balloon out or pulsate or make noise when you touch them even if you didn’t mean to touch them…

Those ads.

And you’ve thought, briefly, “I’m gonna write an angry email or do…something else… that will make them regret… that they ever annoyed ME!” But of course you didn’t, because what can you actually DO, really?

A lot. I have a plan.

Let’s start with today being Click An Annoying Ad Monday. And then let’s do the same thing on Tuesday. That’s right: See an annoying ad, click on it, instantly dismiss the new window, make a silent promise to yourself to avoid the offending company if possible, and get on with your life. Maybe a millisecond of your time has been consumed, and you’ve helped save the world.

“Whoa, Adam, wait,” you reply. “How is clicking on the ads that annoy me going to make less of them. That makes no sense at all.” Well, my hypothetical friend, you’re not seeing the big picture.

Here’s the thing. Forward this post around. Email it to your friends. Soon, lots of people will be clicking on the most annoying, obnoxious, intrusive ads that the Web has to offer. Soon, we will bring the bell-and-whistle crowd to their knees.

It works like this: At first, The Corporate Guy is elated - his new ad is getting lots of clicks. But not too much later, he catches wind of a rumor, and summons the Web Ad Guy into his office. The ensuing conversation goes like this.

Corporate Guy: Hey, great work with that ’screaming siren expanding pop-over ad.’ Apparently, it got a lot of clicks.

Web Ad Guy: Yes sir. We’re pretty proud of it. Our data shows that -

Corporate Guy: -only, it might not be real clicks, right?

Web Ad Guy (nervous. he has anticipated this moment but hoped it would never come): Er… what do you mean?

Corporate Guy: Well, there are these “Click An Annoying Ad” people. Have you heard of them?

Web Ad Guy: Um… uh… “No?”

Corporate Guy: Yes you have. Someone forwarded me an email. These people are purposefully clicking on the most annoying ads on the web AND vowing to avoid the products responsible. How do we know that your terrific “numbers” aren’t merely counting the people who actively hate us?

Web Ad Guy: Well, we calibrate the obtrusiveness ratio with the factorial of the gerundic placental delta which allows us to calculate the fractional contusifer of th-

Corporate Guy: That’s just a lot of science-y bullshit right there, isn’t it?

Web Ad Guy: Um… yes sir.

Corporate Guy: So I’m left thinking that I can’t know if my ad is actually losing customers for me, and therefore I’m inclined to ask you to make a new round of advertisements that do not expand, whistle, scream, hoot, pop-up, rotate, or involve spurious dancing silhouettes. That way, I can be sure that these “clicks” are people who are actually interested in my product, and not people who’d like to see me dead. Does that make sense to you?

Web Ad Guy: Well, I -

Corporate Guy: Say “Yes.”

Web Ad Guy: Yes.

Corporate Guy: Good.

See? It’s that easy. Think of it as completely free activism that you can do without getting up. And who doesn’t love those terms?