More from “”The Constitution, version 2.0″

Is it still Article II? I thought it got promoted to Article I and Article I moved down to Article III.

Article III Article II, Section 3. Treason against the United States, shall consist only in levying war against them, or in adhering to their enemies, giving them aid and comfort. No person shall be convicted of treason unless on the testimony of two witnesses to the same overt act, or on confession in open court, or unless that person happens to be the President or the Vice President, in which case they are exempt from the provisions of this Section. As we all know, if the president or vice president do it, that means it’s not wrong.

The Congress President shall have power to declare the punishment of treason, but no attainder of treason shall work corruption of blood, or forfeiture except during the life of the person attainted.

It’s just a goddamn piece of paper, as the Appointee-In-Chief allegedly once said. And it can mean whatever he wants it to mean whenever he wants it to mean what he wants it to mean, especially during wartime, when the President reserves unto himself all the powers and authoritay that he damn well pleases. (Responsibility for failure, however, falls upon anyone who opposes him.)

Look, they didn’t have to go to all that trouble re-writing the Constitution, all they need is one of these.

Well, that clears that up. I won’t be doing anymore vetching about the President’s extra-constitutional escapades. I have always valued clarity, cause then I don’t have to think. Thinking is hard.

Nuts. I meant Abbott.

Oh, this “Constitution” thing looketh like big trouble. What will King George sayeth when he sees it?

When you really examine it, the only amendment in the Bill of Rights that makes any sense in these trying times is #2. The rest of them look like they were written by Al Qaeda. Freedom of speech? No unreasonable search and seizure? The right not to incriminate yourself? The right to know the evidence against you? No cruel or unusual punishment (pfft, what does that even mean?)? I think we all know that’s just what the terrorists would want.

Adam- I love the blog! - But did you see the new hilarious Giuliani ad - it was up on Wonkette this morning. It’s called “Real Balls” - the only question is who put it up there?
Wonkette’s Giuliani ad

- Carlson

wf, I’ll take you up on the rain, pero el mosquito usted lata guardar.

cooper,

According to the Weather Channel, you got rain with a vengeance today. Hope nothing blew away (or into your house or onto your car).

All rain is to extend only as far as I-95 starting tomorrow, because I’m off to the beach for the next week to beautiful Topsail Island, the undiscovered jewel of the Carolina coast. And we’d like to keep it that way, thank you, so forget I mentioned it.

I hope everyone is enjoying themselves at Grouseland this weekend. That swimming hole would be pretty inviting.

Very readable analysis by a former prosecutor of Bush’s commutation of Libby’s minimum guideline sentence:
http://www.truthout.org/docs_2006/070607A.shtml

Ann, your cat is using the oldest sucker move on the planet. Don’t move, don’t even acknowledge the birds, let them cop an attitude, say whatever they want, until they get within range. Then the lightning-like reflex swat and dinner is served (sorry, siobhan, but that’s life and death of the planet Earth.). I have 5 cats and I’ve seen that so many times.

Another example of fortuitous cat ownership, I was too busy (or perhaps lazy) to put the usual bird netting over the blueberry bushes this year. In the years before the cat invasion, this was necessary to get any blueberries at all. This year, with the swarming, marauding pack of felines, no birds, no worries. I can harvest the blueberries at my leisure.

dee, have a great time at the not-to-be-mentioned beach. We’re going down to another of the Carolinas’ unnamed ocean paradises on Friday. Save some sun and seafood for us.

your pal, cooper

My cat is indeed devious, but I assure you that he couldn’t catch a bird. His reflexes are more USPS-like than lightning-like.

And although that would indeed be “life and death of the planet Earth,” domestic cats are an invasive species on this continent, and they shouldn’t be allowed to maraud at will. (Unless they’re after other invasive species, such as English sparrows and grackles!)

But I’m afraid Joxer couldn’t handle those, either. He didn’t even wake up when a hummingbird got into the house last year, even though I was running up and down the stairs and climbing on furniture to catch it. He did catch a bee once, to his great dismay.

Did someone say something about monkeying with the Constitution?

Yes, Dale, waterfowler should can all the mosquitoes in Texas and then come up to NC and can those too. (Meanwhile I’ll be docking the exorbitant wages of my practical joking illegal immigrant gardener/translator, who fancies himself as the next Mexican Henny Youngman.)

A sampling of the great master - King of the One Liners - for the chronologically challenged in our midst:

1. I’ve been in love with the same woman for 49 years. If my wife every finds out, she’ll kill me!

2. My wife and I went back to the hotel where we spent our wedding night. Only this time, I stayed in the bathroom and cried.

3. My wife and I went to a hotel where we got a waterbed. My wife called it the Dead Sea.

4. My wife got a mudpack and looked great for two days. Then the mud fell off.

5. “Doctor, I have a ringing in my ears.”
“Don’t answer!”

6. A drunk was in front of a judge.
The judge says “You’ve been brought here for drinking.”
The drunk says “Okay, let’s get started.”

7. A bum came up to me saying “I haven’t eaten in two days!”
I said, “You should force yourself!”

8. Another bum told me “I haven’t tasted food all week.”
I told him “Don’t worry, it still tastes the same!”

9. A car hit a Jewish man.
The paramedic says, “Are you comfortable?”
The man says, “I make a good living.”

10. A guy says, “I’m so old that I forgot how old I am.”
An old woman says, “I’ll tell you how old you are. Take off your clothes and bend over.”
The man does this.
The woman says, “You’re seventy four.”
The man says, “How can you tell?”
The woman says, “You told me yesterday.”

David, “Cats… at least they don’t bulldoze habitat and build/pave over everything.” Oh, I am so sure they would do all that - and much more - if only they’d evolved opposable thumbs.

I saw this one proposed:

Amendment XXVIII

Section 1. The amendments to the Constitution of the United States are hereby repealed.

Section 2. Yes, even Amendment II (you’re not a terrorist, are ya?)

Jim, as I understand it, it would be mandatory.

The United Stupor of America?

In addition to being a separate branch of government, I wonder if Chaney is also a separate branch of Humans.