Once again, Chief Justice Roberts and shinier, newer Justice Alito showed their respective, promised “independent” streaks by voting along with a majority decision yesterday which once and for all assured that many of our nation’s schoolchildren will no longer have at least one black friend. The voting pattern that has emerged between these two has a lot of people worried.

Ha! Calm down. Relax. Take it slow, much in the same way 87-year-old Justice John Paul Stevens approaches a wet patch on the sidewalk.

Progressives still have Justice Stevens, who stays young by sitting the 74-year-old Ruth Bader Ginsburg on his knee, while making sure 67-year-old David Souter gets his bottle before 68-year-old Stevie Breyer goes down for his nap.

Have you ever heard of Jeanne Calment? She was a Frenchwoman who died in 1997, at age 122. She met Van Gogh when she was 14. She attended the funeral of Victor Hugo’s (who, in death, was probably still more talkative than Clarence Thomas has been in his years on the bench). Some people live a very long time!
Next time the court has a recess, let’s get these four off to Arles, load them up on cheese, heavy sauces, and absinthe. If that doesn’t work, perhaps while bicycling along the Rhone, one of them might get bitten by a zombie!

I guess what I’m trying to say is…
All hope is lost.