Q: So I’ve been looking into this Bill Richardson guy…
A: Yeah, nice guy. Great V.P. material, no doubt. Hey, did you know he’s Hispanic?

Q: Yes, yes I knew that. But what about him for President?
A: Oh, no. That’s not going to happen. Great guy, though.

Q: He seems pretty okay. Why isn’t it going to happen?
A: What? Oh, tons of reasons. Tons. Trust us, he’s not the guy.

Q: Why not?
A: Why not!? Well, for one, he’s too conservative.

Q: Really? He seems like a champion of alternative power, medical marijuana, and-
A: Right. See, that’s the other reason. He’s too liberal.

Q: Honestly? He seems to get along with everyone, he ’s a tax-cutter, and -
A: Listen, there are a lot of reasons. Honestly.

Q: Also, he seems to be really well-spoken, likable, informed, and he’s got a great diplomatic track record at a time when this country desperately needs a diplomat. I just think -
A: Shut UP!

Q: Why? I have to say, it seems like you’re relying on cynical “in crowd” dynamics and perceived “electability” rather than giving every candidate a fair shake. We’ve still got a year and a half until -
A: Listen!!! He’s NOT THE GUY. He’s got too much baggage. He’s not sexy. He smells funny. His shoes are terrible. He’s been diagnosed with acute cooties twice. He’s not the right man for the job. Trust me, Bill Richardson is not Presidential material. Forget it. Vote for Hillary. Obama. Not this no-account, two-bit, ultra-conservative, left-wing, scandal-tainted doofus. Just don’t do it.

Q: But if he’s nominated for Vice President?
A: Oh yes. A great choice. Fine man. Hey, did you know he’s Hispanic?