Condoleezza Rice, on the prospect of running into Iranian Foreign Minister Manouchehr Mottaki:
“If we encounter each other then I am certainly planning to be polite and see what that encounter brings,” said Rice, who attended a meeting with Mottaki about Iraq last September at the United Nations but did not have any contact with him…
“I think I can handle any question that is asked of me,” she said. “If we encounter each other and wander to other subjects I am prepared to address them at least in terms of American policy.”
INT. SHAM EL-SHEIKH RESORT, NEAR THE BUFFET - DAY
Secretary Rice joins the already-long line, looks around. She glowers diplomatically all around, but receives only a few curt nods.
RICE: Nuri… good to see you. Ambassador - great view, isn’t it?
Foreign Minister Mottaki gets in line behind her. Rice stares straight forward, unmoving.
MOTTAKI: Madame Secretary. It is goo-
RICE: The One China Policy!
MOTTAKI: What?
RICE: Oh, sorry. That was premature. I thought you were going to quiz me about that.
MOTTAKI: No, I was just saying…
RICE: 1803! From the French!
MOTTAKI: What? I was just asking…
RICE: WHAT DO YOU WANT!!??
MOTTAKI: That does it. We’re making nukes.
RICE: See!!??? I knew it!
[etc.]
Fanny Roborat
11 comments
SeattleDan
May 2, 2007 at 9:39 pm
1Not exactly OT, but here’s a link to the Colbert Report, it does beg the question Adam, what will you do for the “Wait, Wait Don’t Hit Me” segment?
tim
May 3, 2007 at 4:39 am
2HAWLEY-SMOOT TARIFF!
Yeah, maybe a little too Dave Barry, but definitely the funniest of all the tariffs.
It's Condi!
May 3, 2007 at 8:50 am
3Raproachment! Detente! MAD! It’s fun remembering my political science 100 class topics from 30 years ago…I wonder who dreams those things up.
Ann
May 3, 2007 at 2:29 pm
4It’s just like trigonometry, Condi—you have to take the class, but you know you’ll never use it!
Boomer
May 3, 2007 at 2:39 pm
5I’m sorry, but there is just something creepy about this whole deal with having Condi Rice in charge of our foreign policy. Aside from the fact that she is a red meat neo-con at heart (assuming there is a heart in there somewhere), if you look at her record, she is a total fuck-up. Everything she’s touched has gone to shit. And that whole “my husband” thing with Bush - it does make one wonder why he would keep such a screw-up in the Cabinet and let her loose on the world to cut deals. I wonder what Laura thinks.
Jim (OJNTNJ)
May 3, 2007 at 4:51 pm
6Laura thinks that new Pinot Noir is mighty tasty.
piglet
May 3, 2007 at 5:17 pm
7To me, Condi always sounds like she’s about to cry whenever I hear her at press briefings. What’s she like when things really get ugly? Maybe she hopes that her adversaries would do anything to avoid dealing with a sobbing Secretary of State.
Doesn’t seem to be working for her thus far…
Fran
May 3, 2007 at 6:16 pm
8Boomer, I suspect Laura secretly hopes Condi’ll get shot. Or blown up. Or meet a good Muslim man and fall in love and be his third wife. Any of those would do nicely.
Zee Man
May 4, 2007 at 3:33 am
9Well, well… Look who’s in DC Madame Jeane Palfrey’s black book - under bathtub fetishes.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Grover_Norquist
Murray
May 7, 2007 at 7:31 am
10I think that Condi is following in Vice’s footsteps of making up reality on the fly to fit the argument at hand and doing so with complete belief and confidence. Even trying to pin her down by playing back her own words on a TV clip, is futile.
David
May 8, 2007 at 7:04 am
11Where to start in any commentary on the gifts of Condi? Boomer is right. Never has a prima donna given so much status proved such a total fuck up.