My sister, blogging for CourtTV, has found a vintage, unintentionally entertaining video, “Notifying the Hostile Next of Kin” over at The Smoking Gun’s new video section.
Dating the film is difficult but not impossible. While the narrator sounds like an early-’60’s presence, the countrified old man stereotype is clearly post-Uncle Jesse from “The Dukes of Hazard” (1979). The son would appear to place the whole thing after the rise of the “prancing glam-tough” on MTV (1983) - the man’s other son may have died in the military, but love is a battlefield too. And the Pontiac Firebird seems to be from around 1980, according to my 25 seconds of extensive, painstaking research. One thing is certain - the film was made during an era when folks down on the watermelon farm still didn’t know the difference between a plane and a helicopter.
It should also be noted that approximately two minutes in, the original narrator apparently gets fired. I hope his family was notified gently. I’m somewhat concerned that this film might still be in use today, but even more concerned that the video that replaced it might be worse.
[Note - I decided to separate this from the post below. The cognitive dissonance was too much. The original title, “Odds and Ends,” actually works pretty well when you separate it out like that, though...]





18 comments
Susie
April 18, 2007 at 4:19 pm
1Adam you’re the tops! Thanks for the awesome post. Hee-larious!
js
April 18, 2007 at 4:26 pm
2Did anyone else notice the amazing transsubstantiation of crowbar into dowel rod when the son first appears? The watermelons are magical!
gillian
April 18, 2007 at 6:20 pm
34-18-07
Dear Diary,
Sometimes it’s really embarrassing to be a Republican and these next few weeks will be one of those times. The Bushies are claiming to have lost 5 million e-mails – 5,000,000! What a load! I hate to say it, but Cheney should have never told Senator Leahey to go fuck himself. That little indiscretion may come back to bite each and every one of us right on the ass. Leahey is holding the million pound shit hammer now and he keeps in wearing his “I Love Playing Whack-a-Mole” T-shirt under his suit and tie.
Tomorrow is Gonzales day in the Democratic stocks; Bush can’t find anyone willing to serve as War Czar (I’ve got an idea. Why don’t you run the Iraq War, since you’re Commander-in-Chief. Moron!); Bush still can’t find his butt with both hands; Laura only came back to DC after the Easter vacation because they threatened to cut off her cigarette, meat, and liquor allotment if she didn’t; and the twins are in and out of rehab again and have started to run with Britney’s crowd. Maybe the next election cycle, the Republicans should not push the “Family Values” agenda, since Bush’s is clearly dysfunctional and their top three presidential candidates have 6 or 7 marriages between them.
This is all too damn depressing. I think I’ll have a couple of stiff belts and grab some shut-eye.
Dirk
Dirk's Diary
April 18, 2007 at 6:25 pm
4Wait a minute! What’s going on here? Cyber theft? gillian, just stick to the comics, okay? Now I really need a drink. Patricia, unlock the liquor cabinet… Please?!!!
It's Pat!
April 18, 2007 at 7:46 pm
5sorry, your cover is blown. I will not unlock the cabinet. Hee hee!
lurker dave
April 18, 2007 at 8:31 pm
6non sequitur time
I know there’s got to be a few other d&d’ers out there with some unused d10 and d6 dice gathering dust, BoingBoing.net pointed out this live journal entry discussing an upcoming game con in Iraq. They need some basic supplies over there.
From the post
The largest problem with running a Con in Iraq, of course, is that there are no local stores or game publishers, and few game books on the post. Even dice are in short supply, with many soldiers breaking the unwritten taboo held by many gamers and sharing dice. Thankfully, many game publishers have also lent their support, and have agreed to supply game products to help the Con along. aethereal FORGE, Sovereign Press, Final Redoubt Press, Goodman Games, Paizo Publishing and Steve Jackson Games are among those that have thrown in their support for the convention. But Amberson indicated that the soldiers could definitely use more.
“This convention is currently in drastic need of prizes and giveaways for the troops,” he said. “Everything donated will go directly to the troops, or to MWR (Morale Welfare & Recreation Department) to use as loaner books for the soldiers.”
For more information, contact SPC David Amberson at the following address: david.amberson (at) iraq.centcom.mil
Donations can also be sent to SPC Amberson directly at the following address:
SPC David Amberson
A Co 86th Sig Bn
APO, AE 09331
Dale
April 18, 2007 at 8:44 pm
7I just had the not-exactly-horrifying-but-somewhat-disconcerting thought that perhaps every single person posting out there is really Cooper. I´m still reasonably sure that I´m not Cooper, but in truth, I can´t prove it.
SeattleTammy
April 18, 2007 at 9:18 pm
8I’m not Cooper either.
SeattleDan
April 18, 2007 at 9:19 pm
9I’m not Cooper either. I am Spartacus!
Dirk's Diary
April 19, 2007 at 3:37 am
104-19-07
Dear Diary,
Patricia gave me one of those “Dammit Dirk!” looks and shook her head, so no liquor for me. I pretended to be reading “The Art of War” by Sun Tzu and eventually she went to bed first. I got out my compound bolt cutters that I keep beneath my favorite Barcalounger and took off the lock. Ahhh! Much better! I replaced the lock with a duplicate - keyed alike (that was great foresight to buy several dozen of those locks online when I had the chance) and Patricia is none the wiser.
Today I fly to Yellowknife, NWT, where the concept of a locked liquor cabinet has not met with cultural acceptance. Ciao.
Dirk
Ann
April 19, 2007 at 9:43 am
11I’m Cooper. In a wig.
hedera
April 19, 2007 at 1:16 pm
12OK, I watched the video and I have doubts about it being an actual Army training video. Here are my reasons:
They only sent one guy. I’m almost certain I’ve read somewhere that they always send a pair.
The notifier was a non-com, a sergeant first class. I’m almost certain I’ve read somewhere that they send officers.
At least one credit screen merely referred to “The Army” - I didn’t think the U.S. military was capable of referring to itself without the prefix “The United States etc. etc.”. Although that did show up in a later credit screen.
The watermelons were odd.
Kjell Mikkelson
April 19, 2007 at 3:10 pm
13Jeg er ikke ordtak Jeg er cooper.
another Matt
April 19, 2007 at 7:33 pm
14I’m not Cooper; I spell my name “Danger”
SpottedDog
April 19, 2007 at 10:21 pm
15I am not Cooper either, but I may be willing to become him if the terms are acceptable.
Murray
April 20, 2007 at 8:12 am
16I’d say that I’m not Coop either, but I have no way of proving it.
Lloyd
April 20, 2007 at 4:00 pm
17I knew Cooper, Cooper was a friend of mine. Murray, you’re no Cooper.
David
April 22, 2007 at 3:24 pm
18Shit, now I’m in a full blown identity crisis. Thanks for nothing, Dale (although I do still want to be a benchmate, but what if we’re really three coopers, one in a wig and at least one wigged out?)