Kabul (FA wire) - Nearly four years have passed, but Afghan frustration at the Iraqi insurgency shows no sign of abating. This week a gathering of Taliban fighters in the capital once again called for the Iraqis to “back down” and let Afghans “show you how empire-humiliating is done.”
At their meeting at the Kabul Sheraton, thinly veiled as a “Annual Convention for the Tally Ban” (”We are a small organization opposed to counting. Yes, that’s it - anti-counting” snickered one attendee to the delight of his friends), partisans pointed to Afghanistan’s rich history of frustrating invaders and occupiers.
“We repelled the British in the middle of the 19th century, and spent the next sixty years wearing them out,” said one headscarf-clad “counter-counter.” We spent the 1980’s bogging down the Russians. And we are more than capable of grinding the Americans to a standstill, but they won’t give us the chance.”
The keynote speaker, a “Mr. Benjamin Luden” from “Tally Ban Local 911″ (”Just call me Ben!”) was emphatic. “With more resources spent on us, we could frustrate a force of at least 10 times the current occupying presence. And yet those amateurs in Iraq get all the attention. That’s not an insurgency - it’s a bunch of disorganized squabblers!”
Throughout the capital, there is a growing sense that Afghanistan could have been the Bush administration’s Waterloo, if only they had given it a chance. “It’s a waste,” said one completely covered, possibly female T-shirt vendor. “We have the mountains, the devastating winters, the drug trade, and - of course - we’re the principle training-ground for Al Qaeda. We were ready…”
“It’s like losing the Olympics,” she said with a shake of her head. “Though granted, the stadiums get used for different purposes.” Her wares, neatly laid out, featured such slogans as “Come Back To Afghanistan - We’ve Got a Can of Whoopass For You” and “Afghanis Do It With a Vengeance” and “Mommy and Daddy Went to Kabul, and All I Got Was This Lousy T-shirt. And Their Bodies In a Bag!”
Still, there is some optimism on the streets that the Iraqi boondoggle is just a passing phase. “In three years, Iraq will either be run by a tyrant or partitioned,” said Mr. Luden during his keynote address. “And we’ll still be here, stirring shit up. And the United States will come to realize that if they want to throw lives and resources at an intractable military and political stalemate, there’s really only one choice. They’ll be back.”





22 comments
Ann
March 19, 2007 at 2:43 pm
1Do you think there are going to be many Iraqi or Afghani war brides from this little adventure? I’m remembering a tasteless joke I once heard but have too much class to repeat.
Murray
March 19, 2007 at 3:07 pm
2Ann, you know you can’t do that. Say “I’ve got a joke but I’m not going to tell you”. Spit it out!
Day-O, no wait a minute, that’s Tally man.
And to think this was a war we could have won if we hadn’t gotten bored and headed off for somewhere more exciting.
David
March 19, 2007 at 7:11 pm
3Post it under an assumed name, Ann. Tasteless is good, cruel is bad.
The disconsolate Afghani Forced-to-Dally-Mans are quite justified in their derision of an amateur occupation in that other country.
A can on whoopass?
siobhan
March 19, 2007 at 7:43 pm
4Happy Fourth Anniversary
tess
March 19, 2007 at 9:13 pm
5I’m guessing that the Tally Banners will get used to the neglect while they start shipping out more and more potent recreational narcotics.
It’s not as though we have a war on drugs. Reagan managed to wipe that out in the 80s when Nancy said, “Just Say No.”
SeattleDan
March 19, 2007 at 9:45 pm
6Great cartoon, siobhan.
And great post, Adam.I wish I had something smart and snarky to say. But I’m speechless. Good job.
cooper
March 20, 2007 at 3:46 am
7siobhan…indeed.
Rebecca
March 20, 2007 at 7:17 am
8I wish I had something worthwhile to say, but I don’t. Great post, Adam. Great cartoon, siobhan.
David
March 20, 2007 at 7:32 am
9Continuing the theme of siobhan’s link, the latest political cartoon from Joshua Brown (Historians against War):
http://www.joshbrownnyc.com/ldw2007.htm
David
March 20, 2007 at 7:35 am
10I just checked and the link worked! It’s the most recent panel (March 19).
cooper
March 20, 2007 at 3:41 pm
11Let’s just hope he doesn’t get hit by a bus on the way home tonight.
http://www.crooksandliars.com/2007/03/20/conyers-announces-he-will-iss ue-subpoenas-tomorrow/
David
March 20, 2007 at 5:26 pm
12“Amateur occupation” is not the right description. Amateur commander-in-chief who ordered the occupation is more to the point. The troops with whose lives this mental midget has been entrusted are anything but amateurs.
Ann
March 20, 2007 at 7:41 pm
13Murray and David,
Oh, I will be posting that joke, guys—you just won’t know it’s me. Which means I have to conceal it among several jokes, over time, with a variety of aliases. Maybe you should just assume that the next few tasteless jokes are mine. But no…some evildoer will post incredibly tasteless jokes just to make me look bad, ’cause you’ll assume they’re mine.
Whatever will I do…
Dale
March 20, 2007 at 8:53 pm
14I also will anonymously post a number of tasteless jokes in the near future! (Not really–but nobody needs to know that.) All clear, Ann: the suspicion has been diffused!
SeattleDan
March 20, 2007 at 9:04 pm
15I am Spartacus, the bad joke teller!
Ann
March 20, 2007 at 9:12 pm
16Oh, Dale, why did it have to end between us? We had such good times together, I could always count on you…
Anyway, yesterday I kept hearing news reports that compared these dismal fourth-anniversary observances to the public outpouring of support in ‘03 at the start of the war. Am I the only one who remembers the millions around the world who marched against the war in February ‘03? We were out there, but W dismissed us as a “focus group.”
SeattleTammy
March 20, 2007 at 9:52 pm
17Sigh. I go to lots of marches, after work, the Fed Building is 2 blocks away. This one was skimpy. Maybe the rain, or the other march hadn’t met up yet… but as I walked up the street past the peds and commuters I wanted to shout Why Weren’t You over There? Are you FOR the war? I know they weren’t, just trying to get home and have dinner. But damn, we need the body count at the marches, it is always underestimated by the press and we need to exagerate that body count to off-set the one from the warfront. I believe it is a message that will finally be heard. We need to shout it.
The message is always distorted. Go look at “Barricades were not Thrown” on the YouTubes. Last week’s protest in Tacoma, that got distorted coverage. Cop later corrected his statement, but who pays any attention after the first broadcast?
Hot Tub Tommy
March 21, 2007 at 3:36 am
18My GOD!!! It’s good to get back on the networks again! Did you see me on the Today Show yesterday? That Meredith Vieira is quite a firecracker and fun to look at but she wouldn’t stop hammering me about corruption in high office. Bitch. What do I know about corruption? I was unfairly hounded out of office by a partisan witch hunt. And I loved telling her that Gonzo should “Fight, Fight” to hold his job (I also loved that she didn’t come back at me with - Well you quit fighting and resigned your seat in Congress. That was close. I’ll have to think up a good comeback for that one.)
I glad I wrote that book, “No Retreat, No Surrender: One American’s Fight” (well, I wrote part of it. Okay, I ranted into a tape recorder and a ghost writer punched it up.). I now that I’m doing the book tour, I have a platform for my political comeback. YeeeeeHawwww!
Hot Tub Tommy
March 21, 2007 at 9:08 am
19Oh, and I wanted to say that the tie I was wearing for the interview looked really, really orange on TV. I think I only paid half of your month’s salary for that one. It’s actually red with a gold lame’ design but it’s in the bottom of the closet now. You know I got more class than to wear orange on the Today Show. I’m nothing but class; class is my middle name.
Just Jay
March 21, 2007 at 5:38 pm
20There was an interesting letter in the Seattle Times after the demonstrations on Monday. The letter writer noted that most of the pro war demonstrators appeared to be healthy males of an age that would make them eligible for military service, and wondered what they were doing at a pro war demonstration. Seemed that they should be in boot camp, or sitting in Iraq.
Wonder if they would change their position if the draft were re-instated.
Jay
Dale
March 21, 2007 at 8:00 pm
21Yes, Jay, I believe their positions would change about 130 miles north.
SeattleTammy
March 21, 2007 at 8:31 pm
22Jay- how were the marches in Oly yesterday? We rely on you for reports…