The internets are swamped today as America reacts with shock (shock!) that Ann Coulter would say something offensive:

But among liberals, am I truly alone in thinking that Ann Coulter should not apologize?  And that we should stop asking her to apologize (I’m talking to you, Ted Kennedy!)?  Things are better for everyone if Ann stands her ground.

First off, an apology is, according to my half-assed right-click-enabled on-board dictionary, an expression of regret for something that one has done wrong. Does anybody out there think that Ann Coulter regrets what she said? Perhaps her statement on her website might offer a clue as to her thoughts: “I’m so ashamed I can’t stop laughing.”

No, I don’t think “regret” would be the word I’d use right there.

And what, exactly, has Ann Coulter done “wrong?” She’s pushed herself into a defiant corner, driven a wooden stake into the sternum of the conservative movement, and has furthered my growing conviction that she is, in fact, a man (she has, previously, accused Al Gore and both Bill and Hillary Clinton of wanton or closeted gayness. When you combine this fixation with her unusually large hands, smoky tenor, and prominent Adam’s apple… well, her anger just might be fueled by her inability to get stage time at certain prominent New York piano bars…). Was John Edwards harmed? I’d say he wasn’t. Were the feelings of the gay community hurt? Any gay person surprised or hurt that Ann Coulter would say such things fits that much older and more traditional definition of “queer” (thanks, right-click!).

And look at what a bounty of wiggly, crawly, glistening things Coulter has forced out from under the rocks! Over at FreeRepublic, there’s a healthy debate going on between those who’d condemn Coulter’s remarks, those who don’t agree with Ann but want the condemners to “grow a pair of balls” (and/or “stop being such pussies”), those who applaud Ms. Coulter for being willing to stand up to those godless sodomites, and those few who wonder publicly whether Ann was acting on some real inside information about John Edwards. I hate to send traffic to the freepers, but honestly, this new high in American political dialogue shouldn’t be missed.

And over at the home of my other favorite glamservative, Michelle Malkin, in condemning Coulter, manages to resuscitate (and handily link to!) her bizarre and entertaining reverse spin from last year. See, one year ago, when Coulter uttered her now quaint “raghead” remarks, Michelle offered up this gem in a post entitled “Ragheads and Sambos and Gooks“:

Ann’s comment gives cover to smug liberals in denial about their own pervasive bigotry (I’ll show you 100 liberal hate mails and blog posts referring to me as a “gook” or a “chink” or a “filipina whore” for every 1 “raghead” controversy on the right.)

There’s a lot to love in that classic post (though the omission of the tag “Oh my!” at the end of the post’s title is conclusive proof that Malkin, at least, is not in fact a drag queen): The narcissism, the handy exploitation of one’s own ethnicity, and - above all - the spurious equating of the ravings of a few random internet nutcases with the modern conservative movement’s most prominent, successful, and widely-recognized spokesperson. [Also - Michelle Malkin, meet Free Republic. Freep, Michelle.]

For the past couple of years the right has been fragmenting into its uneasily-mixed component parts: The evangelical right, the “old-school” political right, mainstream Christians, and the neocons. All that Coulter has done is crank up the speed on the ol’ centrifuge a little.

Apologize? Never, Ann. Stand your ground, keep fighting the good fight. Remember “Rose’s Turn,” and how they all laughed at your “solo duet” rendition of “Evergreen?” Remember that? Use it. Carry on!