I rejoice, however, at the return of the ‘toons. And it seems fitting to remember this one on the anniversary of Colin Powell’s address to the UN in 2003.
Much ado about doing nothing much. It is Congress, after all.
I’ve said it before: with more than 62,000,000 voters casting their lot with Bush in 2004, you’d think this surge could be a little larger. And if every one of those voters were willing to pony up just a few hundred bucks, the concerns about financing the war would be over!
Completely off-topic: I just learned that production has begun on “John Carter of Mars,” scheduled for release in ‘09. I absolutely adore the Mars books (by Edgar Rice Burroughs). I hope hope hope they don’t screw it up.
Ya ever get one of dose feelin’s like dere’s sumwhere important ya should be, but ya just can’t remembuh? Sumt’ing dat needs ta get done; a heist, a roust, a shakedown, a knee cappin’ - sumt’ing. Maybe Marco can t’ink of it. I gotta get me a day plannuh, a pa’m pilot, one of dem t’ings. Aw, it’ll prolly come ta me soonuh or latuh.
Thanks, dee. Maybe we could treat Fanny to a couple of prods with a Hotshot, that 90v dc enabler for when a cow doesn’t want to cooperate. Nothing sadistic, just something to get her attention.
Harold, glad to see you aren’t taking Ann’s drift toward Dale lying down. ‘Course, I’m neutral. I’m just the best person, whoever wins.
Thank you for the heads up, Ann! I grew up on John Carter of Mars. I have a treasured hardback edition of the Master Mind of Mars; in which, I regret to say, John Carter doesn’t appear.
In fact, in the 8 or 10 Burroughs Mars books I have in disintegrating paperback editions, John Carter appears in about 3, but the others are all good rousing stuff anyhow. This is one schlock movie I’ll HAVE to see. (It can’t be any worse than the Doc Savage movie they did in the late seventies, can it??)
Leaked from a production meeting:
“How many arms? Screw it, that’s too expensive. Give ‘em two. Who the hell’s gonna know the difference? It’s not like anybody reads this stuff! And see if Hasselhoff is available to play this Carter guy!”
Tharks? Dammit, I’m gonna have to read these books!
dee, David, at this point, I’m leaning towards sadistic. At least enough of a jolt to short out the brain electrodes, turning Fanny back into a nominal rat. Then she could go back to gnawing electrical wire, scurrying around in walls, and poking her head out of curb drains to dash after for scraps of meat.
hedera, It can’t be any worse… - remember, you’re talking about Hollywood in the Aughts.
I don’t know. I was pretty upset at the way they handled some of the LOTR stuff. I shudder to think what they will make of the Martian Chronicles. Especially since most of the people are supposed to be VERY scantily clad…Still, lots of potential.
Okay, Adam, the Iraq Resolution is in the dumpster for now, but what about the woman astronaut that strapped on a diaper so she could drive nonstop from Houston to Orlando to put a love-whumpin’ on a rival? That doesn’t happen everyday - well it does, but without the diaper angle.
Hollywood has always played fast and loose with Burroughs. Tarzan, in the popular mind, is tied to Johnny Weissmuller, and because the man couldn’t act, was given the Me Tarzan, You Jane lines. Greystoke, the Tarzan movie from the ’80s was much closer to what Burroughs intended. Me, I liked both the movies and the books. For whatever reason, I never read the John Carter novels.
And, coop, if driving across the country wearing diapers to asault your love rival isn’t love, I don’t know what is.
I expect the Mars movie to be awful. The books are marvelous but definitely not “timeless”—they’re clearly a product of their era. But of course I’ll go.
Regarding the diapers, let’s not forget that they’re standard wear for astronauts, at least for launch and landing (according to news sources). It’s not like she had a fetish or anything. And wasn’t this a scenario on “Battlestar Galactica”?
From Texas to Florida. ‘fowler, what’s in our water? But then, as Freda put it, you don’t know love if you haven’t experienced Payne.
Actually, it just boils down to a woman scorned, of course, but it’s not really Southern, because nobody died.
True story: I got to work one morning in my high school teaching years to learn that a woman had unloaded a 9-shot .22 pistol into another woman at the Greyhound bus station, saying to the other woman as she fell dead, “You’ll never mess with my man again.” Now that’s a Southern love whumpin’ on a rival.
I grew up in Pittsburgh. I thought a Coal Bill was what you got when you followed too close to an open coal truck and got a lump through the windshield.
There was a catch in my throat when I heard the story that Molly was gone (though I knew it was coming). Of all that has been written about her, only Maya’s piece had the same impact. Thanks for passing that on, David.
The sublime is Maya Angelou’s tribute to Molly. Wow.
The ridiculous is this business about the astronaut and the diaper. I was changing in the gym locker room tonight, and that story was on the TEE-vee, and they were being their usual (I think) CNN self, and they ended up expressing astonishment that such a talented woman should do such a thing, etc. etc., and “she must have had some kind of terrible stress in her life.”
At which point I looked up and said, “If they mention the word ‘menopause’ I will throw something through that TV”, and 3 other women my age in the locker room cheered. (They didn’t mention the word.)
I could never do a cross-country drive like that, diapers or no, because I fall asleep at the wheel. But then, I’m not an astronaut, either.
Hedera, you’re a Berkeleyite, right? Where would you suggest for pre-show dining this week? I’m driving (coming from work in Marin) and my friend is BARTing from the city.
This story is far more sad than humorous, to be sure, especially for her family and her fellow astronauts. But bizarre gets ratings, so the networks owe her a thank you.
I might be needing to use an Astronaut diaper this Thursday evening at the show - either so I don’t miss any funny, or if I get a little overwhelmed by the funny. Any idea who’s going to be our panelists?
I wish the ‘toon were funnier, but unfortunately it’s a little too close to the truth. I suppose absurd was what you were going for Adam and you did a marvelous job. I do so enjoy the Stevens thread.
BTW I would think the Astronaut story a bit funnier if something fairly reminiscent hadn’t happened to me. Picture an ex-GF showing up at your door at 3am when she was 500 miles away when you talked to her on the phone at 9pm the previous evening.
Landis, so many questions - had the earlier conversation been pleasant? How about the 3 am talk? Were you alone (one hopes!)? 500 miles in 6 hrs - wow - did she have time for fasssst train? Did she take atom bus?
3am talk was outside on the street corner until it was time for me to go to work. Cop stopped by twice to ask if she was OK. Her? What about me?!? (She was 6′ and pissed, I’m 5′6″)
Alone? Uhhhh, no. Although the person I was with is now my wife.
She picked up a friend and hit the interstate. I-5 is pretty fast, especially in the middle of the night.
BTW She had been Ex (in my mind, at the very least) for a couple months by this time.
Siobhan,
Here in Minne-so-cold-ta, we would have hot dish, and plenty of it. Maybe some bread too. That’s about it.
Lars, would you agree? Or are you out chopping wood - again?
Harold, Harold, you can’t sweep Ann away from Dale if you’re wearing one of those ankle bracelets, unless you want an FBI escort service. I am neutral, but I love a good contest. And may the best gender/orientation-be-damned win.
Harold, when Dale shows up, hose him down. Wet diapers in this weather would be a bitch, and then they freeze, completely incapacitating him. Viola! Ann is all yours!
Murray, you spray water up here outside and it turns to steam and dissipates. It’s one of the things we do for fun when it’s twenty below.
Kjell, I’m not complaining, I’m bitching. There’s a distinction.
siobhan, I have rehearsals Wednesday night so didn’t look at the site till just now, I hope you found somewhere good to have dinner. Let me know what it was.
Hedera, I remembered A Musical Offering, and it was perfect. Can’t beat the location, of course, and the food hit the spot precisely. Have fun tonight!
Dale, nothing personal. It’s just that Harold and Ann met here at Grouseland during Felberpalooza 06 and, well,… you know, I sort of have an emotional stake in the issue.
Maybe everyone can make it out for the festivities at Summer Party 07 this July, and we can settle it like adults. (Or the way adults would do it).
Eiour, you guys eat human hearts as steaks? With or without mushroom gravy? What are the side dishes? Maybe you could guest on one of the cooking shows. The ratings would be, well, heart stopping.
Comments for this entry are now closed. Thanks for participating.
Fanny Roborat
54 comments
dee
February 5, 2007 at 12:51 pm
1I weep for my country.
I rejoice, however, at the return of the ‘toons. And it seems fitting to remember this one on the anniversary of Colin Powell’s address to the UN in 2003.
Still one of my favorites.
Harold
February 5, 2007 at 12:57 pm
2Much ado about doing nothing much. It is Congress, after all.
I’ve said it before: with more than 62,000,000 voters casting their lot with Bush in 2004, you’d think this surge could be a little larger. And if every one of those voters were willing to pony up just a few hundred bucks, the concerns about financing the war would be over!
David
February 5, 2007 at 1:13 pm
3Isn’t Resolve a carpet cleaner?
David
February 5, 2007 at 1:15 pm
4dee,
I can’t get my laptop to respond to the link. Seems to think it’s just two more words that are a pretty green color.
dee
February 5, 2007 at 1:35 pm
5David, that’s because Fanny was being obstinate. Let me be more blunt:
http://fanaticalapathy.com/cartoons/powellun.jpg
SeattleDan
February 5, 2007 at 1:47 pm
6If this toon were put into some civics textbooks, I think it would help today’s youth in understanding our government in action.
Ann
February 5, 2007 at 2:52 pm
7Completely off-topic: I just learned that production has begun on “John Carter of Mars,” scheduled for release in ‘09. I absolutely adore the Mars books (by Edgar Rice Burroughs). I hope hope hope they don’t screw it up.
Dale, we have a theme for our wedding.
Harold
February 5, 2007 at 2:55 pm
8Damnation. I’m gonna have to ride up on a thoat and carry you off, li’l missy.
Murray
February 5, 2007 at 4:57 pm
9Very funny Adam, although Stevens is always low hanging fruit.
I’m surprised that the resolution doesn’t mention a table,
-one to hide under.
Go sweep her off her feet Harold!
Vinnie
February 5, 2007 at 5:11 pm
10Ya ever get one of dose feelin’s like dere’s sumwhere important ya should be, but ya just can’t remembuh? Sumt’ing dat needs ta get done; a heist, a roust, a shakedown, a knee cappin’ - sumt’ing. Maybe Marco can t’ink of it. I gotta get me a day plannuh, a pa’m pilot, one of dem t’ings. Aw, it’ll prolly come ta me soonuh or latuh.
David
February 5, 2007 at 6:35 pm
11Thanks, dee. Maybe we could treat Fanny to a couple of prods with a Hotshot, that 90v dc enabler for when a cow doesn’t want to cooperate. Nothing sadistic, just something to get her attention.
Harold, glad to see you aren’t taking Ann’s drift toward Dale lying down. ‘Course, I’m neutral. I’m just the best person, whoever wins.
Maximum Bob
February 5, 2007 at 8:41 pm
12I think I saw this in my American History textbook, with the caption “How a Bill Becomes Slaw.”
Dale
February 5, 2007 at 8:47 pm
13If you grew up in Pittsburgh, you might have learned “How a Coal Bill becomes…”
Harold–tharks but no tharks.
hedera
February 5, 2007 at 9:45 pm
14Thank you for the heads up, Ann! I grew up on John Carter of Mars. I have a treasured hardback edition of the Master Mind of Mars; in which, I regret to say, John Carter doesn’t appear.
In fact, in the 8 or 10 Burroughs Mars books I have in disintegrating paperback editions, John Carter appears in about 3, but the others are all good rousing stuff anyhow. This is one schlock movie I’ll HAVE to see. (It can’t be any worse than the Doc Savage movie they did in the late seventies, can it??)
Harold
February 6, 2007 at 4:35 am
15Leaked from a production meeting:
“How many arms? Screw it, that’s too expensive. Give ‘em two. Who the hell’s gonna know the difference? It’s not like anybody reads this stuff! And see if Hasselhoff is available to play this Carter guy!”
Tharks? Dammit, I’m gonna have to read these books!
cooper
February 6, 2007 at 4:42 am
16dee, David, at this point, I’m leaning towards sadistic. At least enough of a jolt to short out the brain electrodes, turning Fanny back into a nominal rat. Then she could go back to gnawing electrical wire, scurrying around in walls, and poking her head out of curb drains to dash after for scraps of meat.
hedera, It can’t be any worse… - remember, you’re talking about Hollywood in the Aughts.
cooper
February 6, 2007 at 4:46 am
17oops, …to dash after scraps of meat.
Stephen
February 6, 2007 at 12:34 pm
18I don’t know. I was pretty upset at the way they handled some of the LOTR stuff. I shudder to think what they will make of the Martian Chronicles. Especially since most of the people are supposed to be VERY scantily clad…Still, lots of potential.
cooper
February 6, 2007 at 2:57 pm
19Okay, Adam, the Iraq Resolution is in the dumpster for now, but what about the woman astronaut that strapped on a diaper so she could drive nonstop from Houston to Orlando to put a love-whumpin’ on a rival? That doesn’t happen everyday - well it does, but without the diaper angle.
SeattleDan
February 6, 2007 at 3:43 pm
20Hollywood has always played fast and loose with Burroughs. Tarzan, in the popular mind, is tied to Johnny Weissmuller, and because the man couldn’t act, was given the Me Tarzan, You Jane lines. Greystoke, the Tarzan movie from the ’80s was much closer to what Burroughs intended. Me, I liked both the movies and the books. For whatever reason, I never read the John Carter novels.
And, coop, if driving across the country wearing diapers to asault your love rival isn’t love, I don’t know what is.
Ann
February 6, 2007 at 4:27 pm
21I expect the Mars movie to be awful. The books are marvelous but definitely not “timeless”—they’re clearly a product of their era. But of course I’ll go.
Regarding the diapers, let’s not forget that they’re standard wear for astronauts, at least for launch and landing (according to news sources). It’s not like she had a fetish or anything. And wasn’t this a scenario on “Battlestar Galactica”?
tess
February 6, 2007 at 5:06 pm
22Wait, an astronaut did what? That’s somehow beneath dignity, but I can’t for the life of me think why.
BTW, someone take pics if they’re going to Berkeley this week. I didn’t get tickets, I’m 4 hours away, and I’m short on gas money.
Though unpopular and downright silly given the surprising number of Republicans here, will one of the producers consider doing a show in SLO?
David
February 6, 2007 at 5:13 pm
23From Texas to Florida. ‘fowler, what’s in our water? But then, as Freda put it, you don’t know love if you haven’t experienced Payne.
Actually, it just boils down to a woman scorned, of course, but it’s not really Southern, because nobody died.
True story: I got to work one morning in my high school teaching years to learn that a woman had unloaded a 9-shot .22 pistol into another woman at the Greyhound bus station, saying to the other woman as she fell dead, “You’ll never mess with my man again.” Now that’s a Southern love whumpin’ on a rival.
Just Jay
February 6, 2007 at 5:33 pm
24Dale (#13)
I grew up in Pittsburgh. I thought a Coal Bill was what you got when you followed too close to an open coal truck and got a lump through the windshield.
Jay
David
February 6, 2007 at 5:46 pm
25Just in case anyone missed Maya Angelou’s tribute to Molly Ivins:
http://www.commondreams.org/views07/0206-22.htm
SeattleDan
February 6, 2007 at 5:57 pm
26Thanks for sharing that piece, David. It’s very moving.
siobhan
February 6, 2007 at 8:52 pm
27There was a catch in my throat when I heard the story that Molly was gone (though I knew it was coming). Of all that has been written about her, only Maya’s piece had the same impact. Thanks for passing that on, David.
hedera
February 6, 2007 at 9:21 pm
28From the sublime to the ridiculous:
The sublime is Maya Angelou’s tribute to Molly. Wow.
The ridiculous is this business about the astronaut and the diaper. I was changing in the gym locker room tonight, and that story was on the TEE-vee, and they were being their usual (I think) CNN self, and they ended up expressing astonishment that such a talented woman should do such a thing, etc. etc., and “she must have had some kind of terrible stress in her life.”
At which point I looked up and said, “If they mention the word ‘menopause’ I will throw something through that TV”, and 3 other women my age in the locker room cheered. (They didn’t mention the word.)
I could never do a cross-country drive like that, diapers or no, because I fall asleep at the wheel. But then, I’m not an astronaut, either.
siobhan
February 6, 2007 at 9:53 pm
29Hedera, you’re a Berkeleyite, right? Where would you suggest for pre-show dining this week? I’m driving (coming from work in Marin) and my friend is BARTing from the city.
Vinnie
February 7, 2007 at 4:39 am
30Nah, Marco couldn’ remembuh neithuh, but he said dat sounded right. Der was sumplace I needed ta be dis week. I tell ya, it’s drivin’ me nuts!
David
February 7, 2007 at 7:02 am
31This story is far more sad than humorous, to be sure, especially for her family and her fellow astronauts. But bizarre gets ratings, so the networks owe her a thank you.
David
February 7, 2007 at 7:06 am
32All right, Vinnie, take some ginko biloba. Inquiring minds want to know.
Landis
February 7, 2007 at 8:35 am
33I might be needing to use an Astronaut diaper this Thursday evening at the show - either so I don’t miss any funny, or if I get a little overwhelmed by the funny. Any idea who’s going to be our panelists?
I wish the ‘toon were funnier, but unfortunately it’s a little too close to the truth. I suppose absurd was what you were going for Adam and you did a marvelous job. I do so enjoy the Stevens thread.
BTW I would think the Astronaut story a bit funnier if something fairly reminiscent hadn’t happened to me. Picture an ex-GF showing up at your door at 3am when she was 500 miles away when you talked to her on the phone at 9pm the previous evening.
Hideo Gump, Jr.
February 7, 2007 at 9:48 am
34Landis, so many questions - had the earlier conversation been pleasant? How about the 3 am talk? Were you alone (one hopes!)? 500 miles in 6 hrs - wow - did she have time for fasssst train? Did she take atom bus?
dee
February 7, 2007 at 9:50 am
35Landis:
DUUUUUUUUUUUUUUDE!
Landis
February 7, 2007 at 9:58 am
36Pleasant? Uh, no.
3am talk was outside on the street corner until it was time for me to go to work. Cop stopped by twice to ask if she was OK. Her? What about me?!? (She was 6′ and pissed, I’m 5′6″)
Alone? Uhhhh, no. Although the person I was with is now my wife.
She picked up a friend and hit the interstate. I-5 is pretty fast, especially in the middle of the night.
BTW She had been Ex (in my mind, at the very least) for a couple months by this time.
It's Pat!
February 7, 2007 at 2:55 pm
37Siobhan,
Here in Minne-so-cold-ta, we would have hot dish, and plenty of it. Maybe some bread too. That’s about it.
Lars, would you agree? Or are you out chopping wood - again?
Kjell Mikkelsen
February 7, 2007 at 3:37 pm
38Ja sure and tuna melt! And beer! Oh and Pat, Katie - it’s cold enough already; you can quit complaining about no winter weather, okay?
Dale
February 7, 2007 at 8:32 pm
39Harold: I’m taking notes. Have diapers, can be on your (beautiful blue) doorstep by morning.
David
February 8, 2007 at 7:08 am
40Harold, Harold, you can’t sweep Ann away from Dale if you’re wearing one of those ankle bracelets, unless you want an FBI escort service. I am neutral, but I love a good contest. And may the best gender/orientation-be-damned win.
Murray
February 8, 2007 at 7:21 am
41Harold, when Dale shows up, hose him down. Wet diapers in this weather would be a bitch, and then they freeze, completely incapacitating him. Viola! Ann is all yours!
It's Pat!
February 8, 2007 at 7:47 am
42Murray, you spray water up here outside and it turns to steam and dissipates. It’s one of the things we do for fun when it’s twenty below.
Kjell, I’m not complaining, I’m bitching. There’s a distinction.
Kjell Mikkelsen
February 8, 2007 at 10:05 am
43Thanks, Pat, engelsk stå language 2, ja? Ohhhh, it’s cold!
Dale
February 8, 2007 at 1:53 pm
44Murray: Her! Her! How can Ann and I destabilize the institution of marriage if you keep masculating me?
Dale
February 8, 2007 at 1:55 pm
45PS - And what exactly is Harold going to do with that viola?
Harold
February 8, 2007 at 2:59 pm
46Well, this one time, at band camp…
David
February 8, 2007 at 3:21 pm
47Murray, your suggestion takes the notion of blue balls to a whole new level.
hedera
February 8, 2007 at 5:02 pm
48siobhan, I have rehearsals Wednesday night so didn’t look at the site till just now, I hope you found somewhere good to have dinner. Let me know what it was.
siobhan
February 9, 2007 at 5:17 am
49Hedera, I remembered A Musical Offering, and it was perfect. Can’t beat the location, of course, and the food hit the spot precisely. Have fun tonight!
Murray
February 9, 2007 at 7:19 am
50Dale, nothing personal. It’s just that Harold and Ann met here at Grouseland during Felberpalooza 06 and, well,… you know, I sort of have an emotional stake in the issue.
Maybe everyone can make it out for the festivities at Summer Party 07 this July, and we can settle it like adults. (Or the way adults would do it).
David
February 10, 2007 at 7:57 am
51Adults? Adults? We ain’t lookin’ to act like no stinkin’ adults. You do realize, Murray, that if Dale wins, the stake could wind up in your heart.
Eiour Guttmansdottir
February 10, 2007 at 5:58 pm
52I could use a steak, if you’d prefer.
Dale
February 10, 2007 at 6:00 pm
53Oops, I was channeling my inner Icelander there.
David
February 11, 2007 at 6:46 am
54Eiour, you guys eat human hearts as steaks? With or without mushroom gravy? What are the side dishes? Maybe you could guest on one of the cooking shows. The ratings would be, well, heart stopping.