As you’re probably aware, former Congressman Bob Ney has been sentenced to 30 months in the slammer, 3 months more than prosecutors had asked for. Now, before you go thinking that this is cause for some sort of celebration, just –
Oh, wait. It is. Carry on.
It’s nice to see the pond get dredged every once in a while. But my eye was caught by a few gems from Ney’s statement. The first three words are “I accept responsibility,” but then he goes on to blame Jack Abramoff, Washington’s culture, and, as he put it in the courtroom, “the demons of addiction that are within me.” The Personal Responsibility Suite at the Hilton has become a pretty crowded place these days. Ney might want to call downstairs for more ice.
He also pulls a moment from one of my all-time favorite movies.
NEY: Jack Abramoff used my name to advance his own secret schemes of fraud and theft in ways I could never have imagined.
Nice, huh? Jack Abramoff is a liar and a cheat and a scoundrel… he has talked people into doing things - especially Bob - that they never in a million years would have dreamed of doing…
[Ney (left) and Abramoff, in happier times]
But demons and wicked cultures and Bialystocks aside, I wanted to point to this, from the statement:
I never acted to enrich myself or to get things I shouldn’t…
See? He was a dupe! A patsy! A gin-soaked fall guy! He never actually GOT anything! This is outrageous! Where’s the justice? Where’s the -
[St. Andrews, Scotland, 2002. Jack Abramoff, golf organizer
Jason Murdoch, Ralph Reed, convicted former Bush
administration official David Safavian… and Bob Ney. ]
Oh.
In fairness, US/Scottish relations really are at an all-time high.
Fanny Roborat
51 comments
Jim (OJNTNJ)
January 19, 2007 at 12:26 pm
1Perhaps part of the problem is that the “personal responsibility suite at the Hilton” is actually managed and overseen by Paris.
You will be able to watch the hijinks on next season’s “The Simple Life - Daddy’s Little Helpers.”
ginny
January 19, 2007 at 12:53 pm
2Yeah, that judge didn’t have much time for them demons. She smacked him but good. I blogged earlier today that I hope he gets a job working the grill in the Club Fed cafeteria!! Then he’d be able to say without irony “Want Freedom Fries with that??”
PS!!! PS!!! What’s the drinking game going to be like this year for State of the Union? Do I need to buy a bigger mug?
Maximum Bob
January 19, 2007 at 4:22 pm
3In other words, “I accept personal responsibility, despite the fact that it’s someone else’s fault.” Bush said much the same thing regarding Iraq in his recent speech. Is this the new Republican meme?
And Ginny, this year I recommend drinking directly from the keg.
dee
January 19, 2007 at 4:32 pm
4Now, now, he shot 67 on the back nine. Hasn’t the man suffered enough?
siobhan
January 19, 2007 at 4:35 pm
5I have sometimes wondered about computer golf. I mean, what’s the point? Now I realize - you can still play in your cell.
Dale
January 19, 2007 at 5:37 pm
6And President Bush has two Scottish Terriers…coincidence?
(Ginny–It might be best to watch it this year at the distillery. Save on shipping and all.)
SeattleDan
January 19, 2007 at 6:11 pm
7Playing the drinking game implies that I actually have to listen to the speech, right?
Can’t I just get drunk and pretend that I listened to Dubya?
siobhan
January 19, 2007 at 6:34 pm
8Read the transcript on Sunday morning. That works perfectly, because the most appropriate drink will be a Bloody Mary.
David
January 19, 2007 at 7:15 pm
9I’m thinkin’ just park my ass on a western North Carolina back country abc store, if I can get back up to Lobster’s country before the SOTUS. You with me, cooper?
We need to pick a gesture or a tic so that those of us who can only watch the batard miserable with the sound muted have some way to also play the game. If you don’t listen to what he is saying, you aren’t overwhelmed with an unbearable mixture of anger and nausea.
And siobhan is right about the only remotely tolerable way to find out what he said.
Abramoff, Safavian, Reed, and Ney - the four horsepies of the
apocalypse. And by the way, how in hell did Reed escape prosecution?
ginny
January 19, 2007 at 8:09 pm
10heh. I’m thinking that this year is the first time we get to see Bush work a pretty unfriendly House (and fairly unfriendly Senate) for few laughs, no “spontaneous” standing ovations and a polite patter of bipartisan golf claps.
Poor Ney. I don’t think play the same kind of golf in prison.
siobhan
January 19, 2007 at 8:39 pm
11Okay, here’s something for the SOTU game:
Anytime he talks about bipartisanship and uses Lieberman as an example, take a drink by picking up the glass in your left hand and switching it to the right.
siobhan
January 19, 2007 at 8:39 pm
12Oh, and if he mentions bipartisanship and uses Feingold as an example, drop your drink on the floor and check the wiring on your set. There’s clearly a problem with your signal.
Dale
January 19, 2007 at 9:26 pm
13Umm, Siobhan? You are really really funny. (Just between us, but if I weren’t already marrying Ann…)
David
January 20, 2007 at 5:41 am
14I like it, siobhan, but I won’t be able to play with the sound off, so maybe I’ll just have to go with Seattle Dan’s plan.
cooper
January 20, 2007 at 5:43 am
15ginny, you’re right - “teeing up the ball” has a whole new mental image from prison, doesn’t it?
siobhan, if he mentions bipartisanship and uses Feingold you need to unscrew your neck pipe and check your own wiring - (shamelessly stolen from Dr. HST).
ginny
January 20, 2007 at 7:23 am
16coop, there are so many unfortunate golf euphemisms, it’s like a gift from the gods of Comedy. I mean, really. “Putter.” “Divot.” “Check your swing.” And the most obvious of all; admit it, you’re all thinking it.
SOTU: any oblique reference to the 2006 elections, up to and including “a thumpin’”: raise glass in a toast to the good sense of the American electorate, smack lips, and sip as if sampling a precious vintage after a long drought.
Any admission of culpability in going to war on bad intelligence: put drink down on coaster and grab camera. Take picture of television set. You are watching history in the making.
Lame duck joke: Quack 3 times before emptying glass (mug)((barrel)).
another Matt
January 20, 2007 at 8:38 am
17I think you all lack empathy for the disgraced congressman. I shudder to imagine how hellish it must be to golf in Scotland. And he probably got a bad caddy.
You all should be ashamed.
If you need further explanation, check out Robin Williams on golf on youtube: http://youtube.com/watch?v=0FXsK8r_wc8
Murray
January 20, 2007 at 2:28 pm
18I’m playing the same SOTU game I always play.
See the president.
Drink myself into a stupor trying to forget he’s president.
One variation could be to see how many times Nancy rolls her eyes, and extra shots all around if old Dick croaks during the speech.
Harold, what’s the matter with you? Ann’s getting married to that Dale and you’re just letting it go? Time to mount your white steed and go rushing to her rescue. (Let’s see, eastern PA to Seattle, uhh,, about 4 weeks of hard riding, better get going now!)
Dale
January 20, 2007 at 3:11 pm
19That Dale? Sniff!
David
January 20, 2007 at 4:07 pm
20Certainly not just any Dale. Ann has standards.
David
January 20, 2007 at 4:22 pm
21This from Josh Marshall’s Talking Points Memo is just too good:
Texas Gov. Rick Perry, a Republican, was taken to the woodshed by Texas Congressional Democrats in a secret meeting in Washington on Friday:
Members described the meeting as frank and candid, at times testy, though never hostile. They said they reminded Perry, a Republican, that a redistricting plan he helped push through the Texas Legislature had cost their state possible chairmanships of the Agriculture, Homeland Security and Rules committees.
“We told him now that we are in the majority … we control a lot of money,” said Rep. Solomon Ortiz, D-Corpus Christi.
(Hope all those Texas farmers and ranchers who $upported that move are happy - thought they knew about watching out for what you wi$h for.)
Harold
January 20, 2007 at 6:05 pm
22Murray, I already said NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!, didn’t I?
Though that was not in response to Dale’s imaginary wedding to Ann (who am I to deny anyone a fantasy?), but rather to Ann’s assertion that she would have to call off the engagement “in a month or so”…suggesting that in a month or so, Ann might really and truly be removing herself from the field of battle. Allow me to reiterate my thoughts on this matter: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
Besides, the last steed I mounted, I managed to topple over while almost standing completely still. (You’ve got my address, Murray…please bill me for any damage I did! And belated thanks for the Brag ‘n’ Gag Rag!))
Harold
January 20, 2007 at 6:09 pm
23Oh, and by the way…
TWO MORE YEARS! TWO MORE YEARS! TWO MORE YEARS! TWO MORE YEARS!
Think we can survive two more years of His Imperial Idiocy?
Katie
January 20, 2007 at 6:18 pm
24two more years….. damn. I wonder if I can manage to stay drunk for that long?
So am I the only one that is thinking that the ‘08 ticket should be Hilary and Mr. Obama?
Fran
January 20, 2007 at 7:37 pm
25While I suspect that the Obama/Hillary ticket is under serious consideration, I’m half wondering if Richardson from New Mexico isn’t going to be a bigger factor than folks realize right now. Something deep inside tells me that the good ol’ US of A is more ready for two people of not-entirely-totally-Caucasian heritage than Ms. H, who may be just a tad too controversial and too (dare I say it?) female to be trusted in one of the two Big Offices just yet.
SeattleDan
January 20, 2007 at 7:46 pm
26I’d hope we were beyond the Woman in the Oval Office thing, and I think ‘08 will depend a lot on whether we’re still in Iraq, what the economy is like, on so many things we don’t know yet. At this point I think Ms.H’s millstone, at least among the Dems, is her support for the war. A huge political miscalculation on her part, in many ways.
I do like Richardson, and I can easily see him in the number two spot on the ticket. Obama/Richardson or Clinton/Richardson. Who knows. Katie, my preference would be for an Obama/Clinton ticket, but I don’t see it happening. But I also thought the Seahawks were going to go to the Superbowl again. O, damn you,fates!!
cooper
January 20, 2007 at 8:44 pm
27I’m all for a woman President. It’s just a matter of time and the sooner the better, I say. But here’s the problem I have with Hillary - America seems to be enarmored with the whole political Dynasty thing lately. Bush - Clinton - Bush - Clinton? What’s that all about anyway? Folks, we have a much larger gene pool to draw from. Let’s do it, what do you say? Leave the dynasty to the Brits.
siobhan
January 20, 2007 at 8:58 pm
28Cooper, hadn’t thought of it that before. Interesting point.
I haven’t really focussed on this election yet - because, hell, I’ve still got 22 months to make up my mind - but there is one good reason to have Hilary for VP if she doesn’t get to the top of the ticket. Just as Cheney is the perfect insurance to keep Bush from being impeached, the wingnuts would never pull anything on a president if it meant that they’d be putting her in the top seat.
Katie
January 21, 2007 at 6:31 am
29Cooper - She’s only a Clinton by marriage, so she is a different gene pool.
The other woman that I would have loved to see go farther was Kathleen Kennedy Townsend. KK was a very charismatic politician.
Of course, there we go with the dynasty thing again.
Yeah, Obama/Hillary would be great, but I think he needs a bit more seasoning. A stint as VP would give him that. I love the guy, don’t get me wrong, butgive him a little more time to come into his own.
David
January 21, 2007 at 7:31 am
30Bill Richardson on the ticket for the Cactus Corner, but his greatest value might be as Secretary of State. For courage ahead of the curve, unbridled accuracy in his comments, and a willingness to think and speak comprehensively and honestly on the real issues that threaten us and the rest of the planet, Al Gore stands tallest. We are, of course, as usual, confronted with the question Which Democrat can overcome the free floating mindset that Republicans are better on foreign policy and the economy (both pathetic myths for my entire life) AND win by a theft-proof margin.
DaveD
January 21, 2007 at 9:38 am
31SeattleDan,
*We* may be beyond ‘the Woman in the Oval Office thing’ if by *we* you mean the folks who hang out here. But if you’re referring to the people who will elect the next president you have to consider that *we* are barely beyond relecting the great misfit, and declaring him a demigod.
Unfortunately I don’t think this bastion of democracy (the US of A) is quite ready for a woman president. And personally I hope that Hillary *doesn’t* run because she is too much of a lightening rod for the right. We all know how effective their attacks are at convincing the average mindless voter, and they’ve been attacking her ‘candidacy’ for the last 6 years. No I think we need fresh faces and ideas.
another Matt
January 21, 2007 at 11:00 am
32does Hillary golf?
Boomer
January 22, 2007 at 4:02 am
33a Matt, she doesn’t have to golf. All the wingnuts need is a rogue Photoshopper to waggishly splice her image into the above picture and the rabid right will have plenty to froth about. It is kind of fun to watch the Pavlovian response, don’t you think?
Ann
January 22, 2007 at 11:37 am
34Dale, the engagement is still on, although the ring has mysteriously failed to arrive. David, we can’t move forward until someone throws us an engagement party and/or bridal shower and/or bachelor party. I think that’s your responsibility.
Harold, “field of battle”?? Exactly which battle would that be?
Harold
January 22, 2007 at 2:48 pm
35Sigh. With each comment I feel myself digging in deeper and deeper. Didn’t waterfowler say something about a room a while back?
Murray
January 22, 2007 at 3:40 pm
36Dale, nothing personal, I’m just sayin….
Harold, you can do better than that!
Katie, Kathleen Kennedy Townsend? She is about the only person who could lose to a Republican in the nation’s second most blue state. Her losing bid for governor of MD was because of exceptional political ineptitude.
Ann, we can have the party here at Grouseland, 2nd weekend in July.
David
January 22, 2007 at 4:58 pm
37Ann,
Oh, shite (as the Scots pronounce it). I didn’t think about that.
How about a knee-walking, commode-hugging, psyche-purging “We decided on an extended engagement” pot luck rafter raiser at Murray’s? The man is nothing if not one of the great hosts, which I’ve figured out without yet having made it to Grouseland. Dale, what do you think, what with the engagement ring not yet having materialized and all? Of course, should you and Ann move ahead, I will discharge my obligations to the best of my ability (squirm, squirm).
Dale
January 22, 2007 at 5:44 pm
38I’m up for a Grouseland engagement party. Perhaps I can duel Harold for your hand…speaking of which, how bout I bring the ring then? I sent it to “Ann, My Same Sex Fiancee, San Francisco, CA” but somehow it got sent back. Must be the President opening the mail.
Just Jay
January 22, 2007 at 5:49 pm
39The big problem I have with a Hillary run in 2008 is the miles of tape, that are certainly squirreled away somewhere, of her disavowing any interest in the presidency. She spent her whole Senate re-election campaign promising that she didn’t want to run, wasn’t interested in running, was dedicated to the people of New York, etc. etc. I just know that if she does run in 2008 we will be seeing those tapes over and over with the tagline “Hillary lies….”
Jay
gillian
January 22, 2007 at 6:34 pm
40JJ - A politician that lies? I’m shocked!!! shocked!!!!
siobhan
January 22, 2007 at 6:38 pm
41I’ve been ambivalent about Hillary. However, listening to the wingnut noise machine switch into overdrive has been entertaining (sorta). I’m thinking it would be worth voting for her just to piss ‘em off.
hedera
January 22, 2007 at 8:47 pm
42Having recently watched Casablanca again (and on the big screen with Dolby stereo too, the only way!), I can say with confidence that Capt. Renault was only “Shocked!!” once at the fact that there was gambling at Rick’s. He didn’t repeat himself.
hedera
January 22, 2007 at 8:55 pm
43Fanny is having a snit fit again. But why that post?? When you see the post about watching Casablanca, you tell me why Fanny trapped it…
Dale
January 22, 2007 at 9:08 pm
44Perhaps Fanny prefers THX Surround Sound?
hedera
January 22, 2007 at 9:34 pm
45I’m wondering if it was the word “gamb**ng”… Fanny thinks I’m touting video poker.
The FanAp elves
January 22, 2007 at 9:35 pm
46hedera, it was indeed the G word that tripped the filter (”gambling at Rick’s”).
Now that I’m going to have to approve my own comment, I’ll take the opportunity to mention some of the broader spam categories that will trip the FA spam moderation: gambling, loans, insurance, drugs, cigarettes, hotels, flowers (yes, flowers), cell phones, and of course, enlarging or shrinking parts of the body. Many of the words that trigger moderation are related to those topics.
Every so often, a new spam favorite-of-the-month happens (anyone remember the fishing one a year or two ago?) and so those related keywords get added to the filter, and then after the particular attacks stop (and/or a lot of people start talking about that topic and start complaining about Fanny), then I’ll remove the word. I know moderation is tedious but unfortunately it’s a necessary measure that really does help cut out spam. I do try to approve comments when I can, so although they might not appear right away, they usually will appear at some point.
All that said, we seem to be doing better with spam since I installed a new spam killer a few weeks ago, and it’s made sifting through the moderated comments and captured spam much easier. So far it’s blocked 3,064 accesses in just the past seven days.
siobhan
January 23, 2007 at 6:25 am
47Clarification, please: I’m assuming that the d-rugs that will trip the filter are not the illegal types that we reminisce about when discussing youthful adventure, but the types being hawked to Limbaugh et al?
Ann
January 23, 2007 at 11:19 am
48Dale, I’m in Seattle.
Dale
January 23, 2007 at 1:38 pm
49You see, there’s so much we have yet to discover about each other!
David
January 23, 2007 at 5:17 pm
50Dale, I really like the idea of your dueling Harold for Ann’s hand at Grouseland (or whatever body part y’all choose to focus on).
Murray
January 24, 2007 at 7:48 am
51FA Elf, we appreciate your help. We may bitch when Fanny kicks our brilliant posts, but I remember when spam filled the comments and threatened to end this site. It’s good to know what sends Fanny into action.