Just thought I’d check in with some necessary New Year’s plugging. [But stick around for the end and you will win a chance to watch an entertaining video presentation!]
As some of you noticed, the Chicago Sun-Times ran a piece about yours truly and Schrodinger’s Ball on Sunday. I honestly couldn’t be happier with the article. Quite a writer, that Mark Athitakis, and not just because of his good taste in subjects.
The timing works pretty well, too, as I’ll be in Chicago for “Wait Wait” this week. And I’m told there will be copies of my li’l ol’ novel there. Hopefully this will be a trend, and several upcoming shows will also provide the legions of Felbernauts (all 20 of you) with book buying/signing opportunities.
Finally, for those of you who might’ve missed “Talkshow” this week, there was a piece that I really want to show you. Why? Because I worked round-the-clock on it for a week, planning, contracting, writing, and editing? That’s what happened, but no. Because it represents some new high point in American comedy? I’d love to say that it does, but honestly, it’s just a funny piece. Because I’ve had to devote the last 72 hours to helping maintain the flooded website that the piece refers to? No - when you break it down, I’m just helping a 14 year-old kid keep his MySpace page in order… So why?
Because Carl Reiner really liked it.
See, he was our guest on the show that night, and as soon as he came out to talk to Spike, he complimented the piece. Called it “genius” or something, I think. It’s true. It was recorded on tape. He said it. Might not’ve meant it, but that doesn’t matter to me. He said it. To me, that’s got to be the coolest reason ever to show you a piece of video. So here’s Dylan’s MySpace adventure:
Nice, huh? Carl Reiner nice, that’s what I call it. Anyhow, Dylan’s page is here if you’d like to become his friend…
Fanny Roborat
92 comments
Rebecca
January 9, 2007 at 4:53 pm
1The Herb Alpert & the Tijuana Brass music was the perfect touch.
YLlama
January 9, 2007 at 4:55 pm
2Filling the awkward silences with Herb Alpert and the Tijuana Brass: genius.
YLlama
January 9, 2007 at 4:58 pm
3Damn it. That’s what I get for checking the spelling of Herb Alpert’s name.
ginny
January 9, 2007 at 6:17 pm
4I want my own personal awkward silences soundtrack.
Also, I’m probably the only person for hundreds of miles who has actually seen Herb Alpert & the Tijuana Brass perform live. From what I recall, they put on a fun show. Good choice!
Alan Brady
January 9, 2007 at 6:49 pm
5I have to agree, that segment was pure genius!
cooper
January 9, 2007 at 7:13 pm
6Dylan, I remember 14. You did “okay”. Good luck with your My Space fame (go easy on the sauce, though, kiddo).
Buddy Sorrell
January 9, 2007 at 7:20 pm
7Meh. It was so-so.
Buddy Sorrell
January 9, 2007 at 7:22 pm
8The gals was hot, though!
Rebecca
January 9, 2007 at 7:23 pm
9Don’t feel bad, YLlama - I wiki-ed it too (just to make sure).
bri
January 9, 2007 at 7:37 pm
1021!
SeattleDan
January 9, 2007 at 8:20 pm
11Wow, I gotta get me a MySpace, and a friend like Spike. Dylan’s up to 5171 friends, with 1312 comments. I don’t have nearly that many friends, and no one says that much to me. I’m feeling like a rather pathetic 56 year old man.
Not that I am. I’m in my early 30’s and look like the young Cary Grant. Ask anyone who knows me.
Ann
January 9, 2007 at 9:21 pm
12Cary Grant playing a slightly absent-minded and tweedy owner of a small bookstore, just before Rosalind Russell breezes in and turns his tidy world upside down!
SeattleTammy, that’s your cue…
Stephen
January 9, 2007 at 9:41 pm
13That was one of the funniest things I have seen in a while. Very well done.
SeattleDan
January 9, 2007 at 10:18 pm
14SeattleTammy clambers onto the red formica table and suddenly belts out:
You’ll be swell! You’ll be great!
Gonna have the whole world on the plate!
Starting here, starting now,
honey, everything’s coming up roses!
Clear the decks! Clear the tracks!
You’ve got nothing to do but relax.
Blow a kiss. Take a bow.
Honey, everything’s coming up roses!
Now’s your inning. Stand the world on it’s ear!
Set it spinning! That’ll be just the beginning!
Curtain up! Light the lights!
You got nothing to hit but the heights!
You’ll be swell. You’ll be great.
I can tell. Just you wait.
That lucky star I talk about is due!
Honey, everything’s coming up roses for me and for you!
Ok. I took a coughing break between verses 2 & 3. Once Martha Rae bought some books from me and sympathized “that’s nothin honey: hack hack hack!” She was in town for 3 mouthy Broads on Broadway.
Dirk's Diary
January 10, 2007 at 4:55 am
15January 10
Dear Diary,
Tonight is the “Big Speech” on Iraq and I don’t know… W came into the cabinet meeting today with his face bright, bright red. Hank Paulson (Treasury) leaned over and whispered to me that George is having trouble with the speech. Seems W keeps wanting to say “Big Splurge” instead of “Surge”, but Hank told him that was over. We’re broke. Bush still wants to say splurge when he’s practicing the speech, so Karl has started slapping him across the face each time he screws up. Ergo, the red face. The slapping stopped last night when the boys in make-up said that’s the limit of what they can cover up. Karl then went to Condi’s office and got her whip. Now when W does the old “tongue two-step”, Karl cracks him across the back. The President walked into the Cabinet Room like a Flagellant. It’s tough to be President.
David
January 10, 2007 at 8:00 am
16El Presidente Flagellanto? I like it, I like it a lot. Can I aid and abet?
As noted on previous thread, “We’re sending twenty thousand more, to help save Eye-Wrack from the Eye-Wrack Namese.”
Can you get EPF to read Adam’s book?
Harold
January 10, 2007 at 9:33 am
17The one episode I didn’t tape! I was wondering why I was getting all these hits on my site for search strings like spike feresten myspace kid.
siobhan
January 10, 2007 at 10:33 am
18Adam, do you have time to compose a Surge Speech drinking game? I’m thinking it would be possible to re-use the rules for State of the Union, then see which night leaves us more hammered.
siobhan
January 10, 2007 at 10:37 am
19I should add: Every time the Decider opens his mouth, I want to drink; a game allows me to pace myself.
Ann
January 10, 2007 at 11:05 am
20I’ll play any drinking game that doesn’t require me to listen to Dubya!
SeattleDan
January 10, 2007 at 11:16 am
21I probably should get an extra bottle of wine for tonight.
siobhan
January 10, 2007 at 2:01 pm
22Well, it’s not as good as anything Adam could create, but someone has now posted a drinking game for tonight’s speech on Kos…
It's Pat!
January 10, 2007 at 3:05 pm
23Adam, why don’t you come to Minne-no-snow-ta? We don’t have any snow, and it’s less windy that Chicago. In fact, the old joke about St. Paul was it was a “cold Omaha”. Well, now it’s just a “cool” Omaha.
Poor Des Moines, it doesn’t even get picked on.
Anyway, I bet you could get more than 20 Felbernauts to come to a WWDTM.
Ok, maybe just two or three of us.
I will grovel: boy, that was the funniest piece I’ve seen. I hope to see more like that very soon! Keep up the good work!
Dirk's Diary
January 10, 2007 at 4:31 pm
24January 10
Dear Diary,
T-minus 90 minutes and counting before the “Big Speech”. I called over to the White House to wish the President “Good Luck & Godspeed”. Karl answered the phone & graciously accepted my good wishes for Bush, but in the background I could hear someone blowing his lunch and screaming for a drink. Karl said they had decided after all that they would remove the word “surge” from the speech. Probably a good idea. I hope W still has some hide on his back. Goodnight, Diary. Let’s all cross our fingers in hopes for good luck to our fragile Republic.
Dale
January 10, 2007 at 6:14 pm
25Drinking is not enough, I am taking a shot of morphine every time Bush sayzzzzzzzzz…..
siobhan
January 10, 2007 at 6:33 pm
26Well, it was a short speech. The pinot is only half gone.
David
January 10, 2007 at 6:55 pm
27Never mind the pinot. The important question is, Are you half gone?
I cannot watch or listen to Glorious Misleader even if I’m obliterated. Besides, I’m still entirely too high on 41-14 and Gainesville, originally named Hogtown, now being Trophytown by 2, a first in NCAA history. We are trying our damnedest to be humble (and failing miserably, of course).
Rebecca
January 10, 2007 at 7:11 pm
28It’s Pat! -
Well, you… me… Katie, probably… there’s 3! And I bet we could all find at least one person to
dragbring along with us, right? I would adore a WWDTM in the land of no snow.You hear that Adam? NO SNOW. It’s a good thing, I promise.
David
January 10, 2007 at 7:24 pm
29And it’s 1-2-3, what’re we fightin’ for? Well I don’t give a damn, next stop is Eye-Wrack Nam.
Would that W were at least as intelligent as Alfred E. Neuman. Apparently, all he got was the look.
waterfowler
January 10, 2007 at 7:46 pm
30I’m not fallin’ for that again, not after “Electric Lincoln”. Congrats David, what a game! I wish the Texans would use that Offence.
siobhan
January 10, 2007 at 8:28 pm
31Fowler, bookmark it anyway - just in case ta makeover on your little rednecks’ sites.
siobhan
January 10, 2007 at 8:29 pm
32Oh, crap. I was editing and editing my thought to make it make sense and finally decided the hell with it, it’s not going anywhere… then accidentally hit submit.
gillian
January 11, 2007 at 4:36 am
33I think if the Administration wants to gets its point across, they should let Laura do the speeches.
BTW Ms. Pelosi, lose that bright red overcoat/wrap/San Francisco serape you wore to meet the reporters today. Does not speak to the common man (or woman).
Did anyone else catch “The View” today? Barbara Walters re Donald Trump - “That…poor…pathetic…man.” YES!!!
David
January 11, 2007 at 5:56 am
34Chris Leak was the key. He knew what our guys could do, he watched what OSU gave us, and he managed our offense with the skill and cunning of a great swordsman behind an offensive line that got ‘er dun. And we played as one. And we’d already squared off against defenses as good as the Buckeyes. Also, our defense had been very good all year, which a lot of sportscasters seemed not to get until Monday night.
And that extra Texas mojo you threw our way didn’t hurt. Let’s get a Gators-Horns showdown asap. I mean, two of the most distinctive, most intimidating mascots in all of college football…
gillian,
Not necessarily. Speaker Pelosi has to project moxey in a non-offputting way. I didn’t react negatively to the red wrap. And it should pull in a fair number of Sooners, Huskers, Razorbacks, and Badgers.
Harold
January 11, 2007 at 7:15 am
35Why is W stopping at 21,500 “additional” forces (mostly existing forces being extended or rotated back early)? He received over 62,000,000 votes in the 2004 election. I’m sure every one of those voters would gladly volunteer to serve in Bush’s Discretionary War.
Jim (OJNTNJ)
January 11, 2007 at 9:23 am
36Quote:
“Oh, crap. I was editing and editing my thought to make it make sense and finally decided the hell with it, it’s not going anywhere… then accidentally hit submit.”
Siobhan, world to my welcm.
At least we (usually) know when we’ve screwed up, and are willing to admit it.
It's Pat!
January 11, 2007 at 9:39 am
37Adam,
It still has not snowed here.
One last thing about “surge” -
I keep thinking John Lennon said “Sir, please sir - can I please surge sir?” in the movie “Hard Day’s Night”. That sure is a better visual than the one from last night.
cooper
January 11, 2007 at 9:48 am
38A small aside to David. Hey, bud, I guess you know that Chris Leak is a product of the Charlotte-Mecklenburg public schools - from Independence High School where they have won about 108 cagillion games in a row and the last 4 state championships. A little trivia to interject into the sports bar conversation sometime.
BTW, I noticed that Bush gave his speech in the White House Library. You think he had to pay one of the tour guides to show him where it was?
Harold
January 11, 2007 at 10:02 am
39What was the deal with the abrupt start to the speech last night? Everybody was doing their pregame shows and then suddenly WOOP-there he is.
Did anyone else hear John Kerry on NPR last night doing post-analysis? If he had used that voice instead of his brain-eating zombie voice during the 2004 campaign, things might’ve turned out differently.
JRM
January 11, 2007 at 10:32 am
40I made a terrible mistake.
I watched “All Quite on the Western Front”
before watching George.
I am very sad.
siobhan
January 11, 2007 at 11:23 am
41This should put to rest any lingering doubts you may have after listening to the speech.
dee
January 11, 2007 at 12:27 pm
42Siobhan — that should be mailed to every single member of Congress.
I didn’t watch the speech last night. I honestly cannot stand to listen to that mush-mouthed maroon and his tortured pronunciation. So I read the transcript and I find this:
We will use America’s full diplomatic resources to rally support for Iraq from nations throughout the Middle East. Countries like Saudi Arabia, Egypt, Jordan and the gulf states need to understand that an American defeat in Iraq would create a new sanctuary for extremists and a strategic threat to their survival. These nations have a stake in a successful Iraq that is at peace with its neighbors, and they must step up their support for Iraq’s unity government. We endorse the Iraqi government’s call to finalize an International Compact that will bring new economic assistance in exchange for greater economic reform.
I have to ask — just what have they been saying to Saudi Arabia, Egypt, Jordan and the gulf states for THE LAST THREE YEARS?????????????????????????
Ann
January 11, 2007 at 12:49 pm
43I listened to the NPR interviews and analysis this morning, and someone repeated the hackneyed phrase that always puzzles me: “send the wrong message to the troops.” Are the troops really that sensitive to what we say about the war? What happens if they don’t like what they’re hearing? Should we really base policy on their reactions?
The MSM should start refusing to quote such cliches, or at least mock them when they’re used.
DouglasG
January 11, 2007 at 2:31 pm
44I’m delurking to represent wit da ’sotans yo!
Also, to say it is:
1, 2, 3 what are we fighting for?
Don’t ask me I don’t know Jack!
I’m off to fight in Iraq…
It's Pat!
January 11, 2007 at 3:15 pm
45Thank you Siobhan. The similarities between the two “conflicts” have always been apparent, especially the one that to me is the most important - that the war was started under false pretenses. And it will end the same - with the loss of American popular support.
Dee, you ask a very good question. What HAVE they been saying? I sure don’t have a clue, but I bet those countries would just love a unified government - in three pieces (Sunni, Shi’ite, and Kurd). Sort of like Yugoslavia, eh?
David
January 11, 2007 at 6:00 pm
46Thanks for another excellent link, siobhan.
Thanks for the updated lyrics, DouglasG.
And thanks to the Charlotte-Mecklenberg school district for Chris Leak, who, in the spirit of true contrarianism, I told fellow Gators in August would have a good year. Chris outdid even my optimistic expectations. Only thing missing Monday night was for Chris to shoot his critics a Carolina moon, but the guy really is too classy for that. Me, I’d still be mooning.
SeattleDan
January 11, 2007 at 6:24 pm
47Tied into siobhan’s terrific link, I’d suggest checking out patriotboys new map, which I think explains much about today’s geo-political world:
http://patriotboy.blogspot.com/
I think the General nails it.
Dirk's Diary
January 11, 2007 at 6:51 pm
48January 11
Dear Diary,
Well that wasn’t so bad, was it? HOLY CHRIST!!!! Well really, when you think about it, what’s one more screw up? Who wrote that speech last night, anyway? Surely someone read it before Bush did? Threaten Iran and Syria - with what? Spitballs? Oh wait, that’s little aphorism has already been used. Okay, how about this? - with what? Hurled monkey shit? I hate to say this, Diary, but I fear our president is manically depressed and seriously delusional. Someone has to throw a net over him. I’ll talk to Laura tomorrow and take a pack of her favorite cigarettes to the meeting. I also need to meet with Josh Bolton about arranging a suicide watch. This is getting too strange for a simple boy from Boise.
Dale
January 11, 2007 at 7:08 pm
49I couldn’t agree more, Ann. It always seemed to me that “keep dying” was more of a “wrong message” than hearing that Joe Citizen disapproves of the war.
wmblair
January 11, 2007 at 7:41 pm
50I sent an e-mail to George Bush about this but he is to busy to respond so I thought I might ask Adam and/or everyone else here: Are we (the United States of America) at war with Somalia? or are we involved in a war in Somalia? Was the whole Ethiopia invades Somalia thing our idea? or were we just in on it from the start? I feel like I should care. What should I do about this feeling? In the future, who should I ask when I don’t know who we are at war with or why?
SeattleDan
January 11, 2007 at 8:12 pm
51And why are we sending an extra aircraft carrier to the MidEast? To make Baghdad more secure?
Dale
January 11, 2007 at 8:51 pm
52Gay marriage, anyone?
hedera
January 11, 2007 at 9:36 pm
53Thanks for the link, siobhan, the similarities are terrifying, particularly the fact that LBJ was more literate than Dubya and therefore could use longer words and better grammar.
Becca (and Brian)
January 11, 2007 at 9:57 pm
54Katie, It’s Pat, and Rebecca-
Even though we’ve now moved west I would second (fourth?) your suggestion for an Adam reading or WWDTM taping in the Twin Cities. It’s colder and snowier in Oregon, for goodness sake! And I’m commuting back and forth at least half time, so I could probably arrange to be in town for the festivities.
Whadaya say, Adam? We’ll make tater tot hot dish….
Becca (and Brian)
SeattleDan
January 11, 2007 at 10:02 pm
55Dale, if that’s a proposal, I’ll have to decline. First off, I’m a guy. And second, SeattleTammy refuses to become a Mormon, so plural marriage is, alas, out of the question.
gillian
January 12, 2007 at 4:13 am
56Dale, thanks for the offer, but I’m in a rather interesting relationship right now. Perhaps I’ll expound on this some day.
wmblair, you sent an e-mail to the White House? Hmmm. Okay, the damage is done. Say “Hi” to Lt. General Keith Alexander the next (& every) time you use your phone from now on. Also, you may want to microwave your mail before opening it; just a suggestion. But to your questions - No. Without a doubt. Yes. Of course. Suppress it. Pick up the phone and ask Gen. Alexander; no need to dial, he picks up when you do.
Steve
January 12, 2007 at 6:48 am
57RE: Dylan’s MySpace adventure.
Adam — don’t quit your day job.
Oh, wait. That is your day job.
Maybe it’s funnier late at night after a hard day. At six in the morning it just didn’t work for me.
DEavid
January 12, 2007 at 7:05 am
58Dale,
I too will have to decline, but who’s not flattered by a proposal from an FAer, regardless of genetically decreed sexual orientation?
Dan,
Fascinating White House war room graphic. Would have thought they’d have given it to Fox first. Hannity must be well and truly pissed.
David
January 12, 2007 at 7:12 am
59All I did was try to ask where in hell the E in the previous post came from, and suggest that Fanny not fuck with my posts, and Fanny shut my ass down, accusing me of being spam, a virus, and any number of other despicable cyber-things. She is one vindictive brain-damaged cyber-rat.
Dale
January 12, 2007 at 10:47 am
60Well, I clearly misworded my attempt to distract the electorate (I haven’t had this many rejections in one day since prom.) It seemed so easy when Karl Rove did it…
Ann
January 12, 2007 at 11:44 am
61I’ll marry you, Dale. I don’t know whether it’ll be gay, though—it all depends on our respective genders.
(Sadly, I’ll have to break the engagement in a month or so. But I just didn’t want Dale to feel bad about all the rejection. Don’t tell him/her.)
It's Pat!
January 12, 2007 at 12:01 pm
62That’s what is fun about having a name that is gender non-specific - even I don’t know what I am.
Weather update - Ok, now it’s really really cold here. But it’s still Minne-no-snow-ta. At least I can go fishing for ice now.
Harold
January 12, 2007 at 12:34 pm
63I believe much of the opposition to “gay” marriage is the general belief that marriage should be “miserable”.
Ann: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! Or am I reading that wrong?
Kjell Mikkelsen
January 12, 2007 at 1:00 pm
64Ja, Pat. Kalder dan a vitch’s tit!
Ann
January 12, 2007 at 5:10 pm
65I don’t know, Harold—how are you reading it? Regardless of Dale’s gender, don’t you think he/she deserves the right to be engaged?
BTW, Dale, which one of us is going to pony up a ring?
I just remembered that Irish guy who needed a green card—I offered to marry him, too. I guess I’m looking pretty desperate now…
(singing) I’m just a girl who cain’t say no…(/singing)
Dale
January 12, 2007 at 6:00 pm
66Ann, unless your name is misleading, I think we qualify! (And besides, there’s nothing against gay engagement, right?) I’ll be glad to pony up the ring, but I also want to wear it. (PS - I think the US has invaded four more countries just in the time this thread has unfolded. See-it works!)
David
January 12, 2007 at 6:17 pm
67I wanna be best person.
Maximum Bob
January 12, 2007 at 6:54 pm
68Is there anything funnier than playing Herb Alpert under a video clip?
Answer: No.
That was hysterical.
Katie
January 12, 2007 at 7:47 pm
69Hey All Minne-no-snow-ta-ans!
Here is my proposal:
- WWDTM taping at the Fitzgerald Theater
- Panelists: Adam, Mo, and ______ (my vote would be either PJ or Roy, but I am willing to throw the 3rd spot open for popular vote)
-MN Not My Job guest suggestions: Al Franken or Bobby McFerrin
- Then we all head over to somewhere and drink and laugh until we all pass out (or they arrest us…) I’ve got a large bottle of Maker’s Mark from my failed trip to Chi-town in December.
Katie
Katie
January 12, 2007 at 8:36 pm
70While I agree that Herb Alpert was the *perfect* touch to the video, I CANNOT get that tune out of my head. I can’t even remember the whole thing, I just have that one part on endless loop in my brain…….
Katie
cooper
January 12, 2007 at 8:45 pm
71Katie, Al Franken definitely. Of course he’s going to be your next Senator, so that may nix his appearance - can’t show favoritism, you know. Either PJ or Roy would work for me, too. So it finally got cold, huh? Good, that’s how it should be. BTW, what’s with the crazy Norwegian? Kjell? - are there really still Minnesotans named Kjell?
Becca (and Brian)
January 12, 2007 at 9:34 pm
72Katie-
Sounds great! (Though I’m a pretty big McFerrin fan myself).
I’m loving my timing. I was in MN for the Thursday snow in OR then flew back west that night in order to miss the butt cold that descended. Somebody up there likes me….
Becca
SeattleDan
January 12, 2007 at 10:17 pm
73Ann and Dale? I’m all choked up. I’m a minister in the Universal Life Church, so I could perform the ceremony! It’d be my pleasure.
All you MN FA’ers. We in Seattle apparently borrowed your weather. You can have it back any time now.
Dale
January 13, 2007 at 12:08 am
74In addition to the WA cold, you MNers may also have my cold…sore throat, headache, and ear infection.
Rev. B. Barnstormer
January 13, 2007 at 6:19 am
75Dale, bless you child and a special prayer for your swift recovery. What bad luck to be ill on the day before your nuptial ceremony. Bad luck for Ann, too. A small caution to you love birds - long distance relationships are particularly vexing and you may at times find it hard to maintain that special glow of fondness that will soon bring you together like so many N40 Neodymium rare earth magnets. Here at the First Reformed Church of Science ……… Fiction, we offer counselling sessions for all woes of the human condition. A reasonable stipend and air fare will bring me to your doorstep in your hour of most need (and remember, we receive all denominations). Bless you children as you embark on your new life and bless me, too. And bless those two attractive 30 something young ladies across the street who are now playfully washing their Miata with reckless abandon, paying no heed to where they carelessly splash the soap and the streams of cold water. Bless them, especially.
David
January 13, 2007 at 7:37 am
76Paula to round out the threesome.
I won’t mention the FL weather that is smiling on the victory celebration in Hogtown, aka Trophytown. Would probably be a bit unseemly on FA, given the current vagaries of the weather in the more enlightened regions of the country. You guys will get to return the favor when the next hurricane hat trick hammers the Sunshine State.
Boomer
January 13, 2007 at 9:31 am
77Great job, David! Adam would not have been this week’s champion on WWDTM if you hadn’t HARPED/CROWED/CHORTLED/INSUFFERABLY REVELLED IN THE SCHADENFREUDE OF IT ALL/GUFFAWED/BRAGGED/RUBBED IN/AND GENERALLY FLAILED THE F*CKING BEJEBUS out of the Gator’s victory over OSU in the Super-Terrific-Wonder Bowl, winning the National Championship in college football this week. Then, again, how often does this happen anyway? One more reason to rejoice in the victory, I guess. We’ll put up with it for a little while longer. A little while. Thanks again. Knowing that fact, Adam barely eked out a victory over Amy in the lightning round.
BTW, Adam, Prince William has the drop-dead beautiful fiance on his arm, Prince Harry has the “Tudor” face and ears and he walks around with the Swastika on his arm. That’s how I tell them apart.
Increase Mather
January 13, 2007 at 10:54 am
78Fie upon this shameful union!!! and upon all football madness!
David
January 13, 2007 at 11:55 am
79Oh, shit, Boomer, I did it again on the new thread before I read your comment on this thread. In future, I promise to remember that this is Fanatical Apathy, not 1996 Florida Gators Are The Most Amazing Football Team in Recorded History. Honest. I promise, I promise.
Boomer
January 13, 2007 at 12:55 pm
80Cool, blood.
siobhan
January 13, 2007 at 12:56 pm
811996?
Cotton Mather
January 13, 2007 at 1:25 pm
82Look, Dad, “Fie” is just not used in the everyday normal give and take of the English language. We’re in America now. Jeez! Why do I even bother?
Polly Esther Mather
January 13, 2007 at 2:38 pm
83Look Cotton, “jeez” is just not used in the everyday normal give and take of the English language. We’re in the 21st century now. Fuck! Why do I even give a shit?
Cotton Mather
January 13, 2007 at 3:44 pm
84Thanks, Ma; so now will you tell Dad, for Christ’s sake? I can’t even talk to the old coot without screaming anymore. What did you ever see in that man anyway?
By the by, why did I not know your middle name was Esther? Grandpa, the comedian.
David
January 13, 2007 at 4:53 pm
85Shit, siobhan, 1996 was our first national football championship. Of course I meant 2006, but delirious Gators are easily confused following victories of this magnitude.
And to make matters worse, I misspelled eked in the post on the other thread. What’s up with those a’s? Must have been thinking about Thomas Eakins. Yeah, that’s it.
Speaking of avian things, how come we haven’t heard from Albatross Mather?
JerryMathers
January 13, 2007 at 7:31 pm
86Eddie is picking on me again. That rat bastard. I’m 59 years old and he still treats me like I’m 11. I hate him. But, of course, since his “marriage” to Wally in Massachusetts, he’s become even more insufferable. Mom and Dad are just gonna bust a gut when they find out what they’ve been up to.
"Lumpy" Rutherford
January 14, 2007 at 3:30 am
87Dang it, Beav, as dumb as I am, I knew that about them 50 years ago. So, the “most wise and mature” Ward and June were clueless - now there’s a surprise.
David
January 14, 2007 at 9:17 am
88Ward was mostly drunk and June was, well, June, so no surprise there. She had neat, stylish housework dresses to tend to and a spouse’s substance abuse problem to ignore.
Does anyone happen to know what Ward’s favorite lubricant was?
Rebecca
January 15, 2007 at 8:27 am
89Katie -
Nice to know I’m not the only one who absolutely loves WWDTM when Adam AND Mo are on. However, I vote for Sue to round out the 3rd spot - there’s seems to always be at least one female, and I love her accent (I’m a sucker for anything British). And everything else you wrote there sounds wonderful.
Unfortunately, now there’s snow so we have to find something else to entice the WWDTM crew with. I vote lots of alcohol.
Dale - already had that cold, you can keep it, but thanks for the offer.
Katie
January 15, 2007 at 9:04 am
90Last night, after watching the football games, I was idlely scrolling through stations and stopped on the interview of GWB about the speech… 60 minutes, maybe? (I generally do not watch TV at all, so I have no clue)
One of the questions was something to the effect of, “The majority of the US citizens do not agree with you, the House and Senate do not agree either…. do you feel justified in continuing on this course without any support?” His response was something about being the Commander-In-Chief of the military forces, and that he can do whatever *HE* wants with the military with anyone else’s approval.
It was enough to make me want to eat a bullet.
Hey, Mr. Commander, Sir….. I’ll gladly extend my service and take a tour, just as soon as you get over there and *LEAD* your troops in battle. Here, why don’t you spend a few days driving around the Triangle of Death in a Humvee with jury-rigged up-armor, watching first hand how all of those greatful Iraqis express their joy regarding our occupation……
Katie - 82 days left to get my Army retirement
SeattleDan
January 15, 2007 at 2:24 pm
91Thank you for your service, Katie. And it’s great that you can see the light at the end of the tunnel. Congrats.
David
January 15, 2007 at 9:50 pm
92He really is a piece of work - the most defective piece of executive work in American history - and I gather he isn’t about to stop with just being the worst president in American history. Apparently he intends to shoot the moon and vie for worst chief executive of a major power in recorded history, homicidal havoc wreaking being an externality and all.