It’s just been announced that the President is having a previously unscheduled sitdown with military leaders — and Donald Rumsfeld — this weekend. Apparently a major “strategy shift” is planned. And what’s is the “strategy shift?”
“Come Up With a Strategy.”
That’s right–President Bush is going to spend this weekend coming up with a strategy for bringing Democracy and stability to Iraq, and to bring American troops home. (Preferably before November 7th, but not on November 6th, so as not to distract from the GOP’s planned “National Free Gasoline Day.”)
Among the things the President hopes to run up the flagpole?
- Teach non-English speaking Iraqis that the definition of “Democracy” is “(noun) A Brutally Intolerant Theocracy.”
- Have all American soldiers announce that they are “going out for cigarettes,” and then abandon the nation. Like many absentee fathers who have pulled such a stunt, the American military force will be resented for this, but they will always loom large in the development of young Iraq. They will be hostile for a while, but then come to grips with their abandonment issues and feel “pity” rather than “hostility” towards us.
- Wait until after election day, when hopefully “Cut N’ Run” Democrats will offer the President the option of a “Impeach N’ Resign” way out.
Fanny Roborat
26 comments
Harold
October 20, 2006 at 12:00 pm
1Hmmm…so now Rick is the frontrunner in the “Predict the October Surprise” contest:
http://fanaticalapathy.com/2006/10/10/predict-the-surprise/#comment-20 279
I guess we’ll have to wait and see what this “strategy” is!
cooper
October 20, 2006 at 2:43 pm
2Let’s all wish W good luck and Godspeed this weekend. Thinking is hard work.
Siobhan
October 20, 2006 at 3:41 pm
3You know, I do wish him good luck and Godspeed. Not because I give a flying f*ck about W, but because I care about every other person affected by this fiasco. It sure would be nice if they could do something - ANYTHING - to make matters less bad.
SeattleTammy
October 20, 2006 at 10:32 pm
4Our forecast is for Sunshine. I hope it ripens the last of my tomatoes or I’ll have to make chow-chow!
Dan and I have both cried over Pat Tillman’s brother’s entry tonight.
http://www.truthdig.com/report/item/200601019_after_pats_birthday/
bri
October 20, 2006 at 10:33 pm
5or
4. the bunker / sedative / luger option.
David
October 21, 2006 at 5:27 am
6bri,
Tragically, wickedly, somehow not completely inappropriate application of the notion of precedence.
I was thinking that this is how the Republimongers do Cut-and-Run, which is how imperialists usually deal with f***ups. Just abandon the buggers after wreaking havoc, with the modern twist of pretending to actually care about all the wasted lives. The old school imperialists were at least less hypocritical, and because of technological limitations possibly less destructive - for example, they did not leave behind finely divided, inhalable uranium dust.
Siobhan,
I’m with you, except “fiasco” is far too lenient a word. This is a bungled crime.
bri
October 21, 2006 at 7:40 am
7David
That is a more likely scenario. Sadly, one which has played itself out once in my short lifetime. I made the mistake of thinking that as a nation, we matured a little with that lesson.
The real problem is our feckless leaders are at a crossroad. To “stay the course” means conscription. AND that would be the death nell to the republican party. OR paint a happy face on it, mission accomplished part deux, and bring the boys home.
The really big question on my mind right now is how does Jorge “No, this is not Viet Nam, I didn’t serve in Nam. So I know this isn’t Nam” Bush unsell his soul to the devil?
There is a third alternative, but it makes me crap my pants to think about it. Manmade rapture and the idea of dodging all the driverless SUVs with my mojocycle on the 5. It wouldn’t surprise me if the gang didn’t take a “long weekend” to Cheyenne Mountain.
Too early for a beer. Damn.
R. Moranis
October 21, 2006 at 10:16 am
8bri, actually on the East Coast the sun is past the yard arm, so it’s Molson time!, heh?
Dale
October 21, 2006 at 4:35 pm
9I predict five days of total, unexpected peace across Iraq as all citizens–Sunni, Shiite, Kurd, Christian–huddle together around generator-powered TVs and root on the Tigers (why do you think so many Arabs emigrated to Michigan?). There’s no crying in baseball, and there’s no war during the World Series.
Tiny Tim - not the faggy, long hair falsetto who married Miss Vicki on the Tonight Show with Johnny Carson, but the other one
October 21, 2006 at 5:49 pm
10“Impeach N’ Resign” is the best option and will produce a “Peace with Honor” - oh, and God Bless us every one!
Go Tiggers! Did I get the right?
hedera
October 21, 2006 at 9:36 pm
11They can’t retire to Cheyenne Mountain, bri. They’ve mothballed it. It was in the AP, and hence in the S.F. Chronicle, on the 16th. They’ve put it on “warm standby” to save money.
You know, that’s one of the worst things about these people: they talk billions this and billions that, but when you come right down to it, the money isn’t there except for golf holidays to Scotland. They’re such cheap bastards, it’s embarassing; but people are beginning to catch on (I can’t imagine why it took so long). I was listening to an interview the other day, can’t recall with whom, and they were referring to the Shrub’s widely touted faith based initiative. As with “No Child Left Behind”, and AIDS in Africa, and Katrina, and a whole lot of other things, after the initial press release, the money just never showed up.
dee
October 22, 2006 at 4:44 am
12Losing the first game was just the Tigers’ contribution to world peace. It extends the series another day and thus, following Dale’s reasoning, extends the ceasefire.
I actually want it to go to six or seven games just to have them win it at home.
And no, I’m not rationalizing here. Really. Honest I’m not.
cooper
October 22, 2006 at 7:57 am
13I tell you, this is such a cold, wet and miserable Sunday here on the East Coast, it makes you wish this was W’s golf day, doesn’t it?
Go Tigers! Make dee and siobhan happy girls!
David
October 22, 2006 at 8:08 am
14Tippecanoe, and the Cardinals, too - but no too soon, so the deciding game can be played in MoTown. Do it for dee, you Mighty, Mighty Tigers.
cooper,
It’s farin’ off over here in Hendersonville.
bri,
Deals with the devil are binding. Jorge is up geopolitical and spiritual shit creek, and the paddle has already gone to the incinerator.
siobhan
October 22, 2006 at 1:48 pm
15Oh, and by the way - the President clarified one thing: We were mistaken, “stay the course” was never their strategy. Don’t know where we ever got that idea.
piglet
October 22, 2006 at 8:00 pm
16Siobhan, I suppose we got that idea the same place we got the idea that Saddam was in on nine-eleven. I don’t know why half the people in the US (according to some polls) still believe that. THEY sure never said it…at least they SAID they never said it…
another Matt
October 22, 2006 at 9:38 pm
17Well, the Tiggers held on. Reminds me of ‘68 when I was a wee lad, when they last beat the Cards in the Series . . .
Just picked up my copy of “S’s Ball”. Is there anything so objectionable in it that I should keep it out of the hands of my Physics-minded high school senior?
David
October 23, 2006 at 4:00 am
18another Matt,
It is an adult book, but not more than one x. I would not call it either lewd or lascivious, merely mature and brilliantly imaginative. I would have read it as a high school senior. Don’t know how taken I would have been with it back then because I did not yet have the sense of the absurd that came with college and life beyond Goldenrod, Florida, even though in the ninth grade I decided to read the entire King James Bible, which was a real eye opener in relation to all the things I had heard from preachers who claimed to speak for God and the meaning of the universe.
cooper
October 23, 2006 at 4:33 am
19If you haven’t seen this video yet, Crooks and Liars has Bill Maher preaching to the choir about Neo-cons. Scroll to near the bottom soon, before it rolls off the page.
http://www.crooksandliars.com/
dee
October 23, 2006 at 5:12 am
20another Matt,
You might want to just clue him or her in that half hour orgasms are not the norm in women. Of course, if he or she already knows that, I might be a little more suspicious about those after-school hours in “physics lab.”
Kip W
October 23, 2006 at 10:04 am
21“Cut and run,” no. More like “Man the lifeboats.”
Tri Delt Girls
October 23, 2006 at 6:33 pm
22Speak for yourself!
Another Matt
October 23, 2006 at 9:05 pm
23So maybe I don’t have to keep him away from Adam’s book, but try to get him to stay away from those Tri Delt Girls.
Siobhan
October 23, 2006 at 9:20 pm
24Back to the main topic… I really hope those asshats get to work and put and end to this.
(I’m not pre-disposed to weepiness, but I was on the verge of tears at the end of this… you’ve got to have a Cheney heart not to be moved by it.)
Murray
October 24, 2006 at 10:53 am
25“You might want to just clue him or her in that half hour orgasms are not the norm in women.”
Dee, What are you talking about? Oh… right, right,… they are usually longer.
Jerry
October 24, 2006 at 11:12 am
26Damn, but I wish this were all comedy and not flat out truth!
Cooper- “thinking” is hard work, but don’t worry about incurious george…he won’t be doing any…except maybe wondering why g*d hasn’t massively intervened, and “why just be a dry drunk, when my little gray cells are mostly gone already.”