(CNN) — A federal judge on Thursday ruled that the U.S. government’s domestic eavesdropping program is unconstitutional and ordered it ended immediately.
Attorney General Alberto Gonzales said the Bush Administration disagrees with the ruling and has appealed.
“We also believe very strongly that the program is lawful,” he said in Washington, adding that the program is “reviewed periodically” by lawyers to determine its effectiveness and ensure lawfulness.
Look, I know I’ve said it before, but it bears repeating. Otherwise, someone else might get credit for the idea. We need to reform our government and we need to do it now. This domestic eavesdropping hullaballoo really makes the point - this is urgent.
Let’s break it down. The Bush Administration wanted to do some domestic wiretapping kind of thing. So they did it. And now Congress and activist judges are trying to stop them. How did it come to this?
Well, we need something to keep this from even getting started, right? If the President wants to do something Presidents haven’t really done before, what’s he gonna do to make sure it’s legal? What if there was some kind of a group of people whose job it was to make laws? See where I’m going with this? The President could then go to these people (let’s call them the “Lawsmiths”) and say “Hey, there’s this thing I want to do - would you pass a law so that I can do it?” Easy.
That would be great, right? We ought to figure out how we could make it happen. Maybe hold contests to choose these “Lawsmiths” (that’s a good name, I’m liking it already!). Let every citizen show up and make their choice as to who should represent their area, and then send ‘em off to Washington to work with the President to make the laws we need. Simple as a pimple.
But we need more - what if the President wants to do something that there’s already a law about and he needs to know whether the law allows it? Wouldn’t it be great if we had a whole division of the government that were just people who knew a ton - really, I mean a shitload - about the laws and could make binding judgment calls about what was and wasn’t legal? These guys (let’s call them “decidesketeers”) would be the guys whose opinions you could respect and when they said “no, you can’t do that,” you’d know that if you wanted to do it you’d have to go back to the Lawsmiths to have ‘em change the laws that the Decidesketeers were being sticklers about. Not so hard, is it?
But wait - there should be a totally basic rulebook, right? Full of bedrock principles - things we know for a fact that ought to be legal and illegal. Freedoms and stuff. Something that the Decidesketeers could always refer back to when in doubt. We need to write that thing (let’s call it the “Rule Thing”) and we need it ASAP!
It would be a three-way system: the President doing stuff, the Lawsmiths making laws about what he could do, and the Decidesketeers deciding whether or not everything was on the up-and-up based on the Lawsmiths’ laws and the Rule Thing.
It sounds far-fetched, but I really think it could work. I mean, what’s President Bush suppossed to do when he wants to listen in on phone calls that might involve terrorists? He’s hemmed in by activist judges and a bickering Congress, all yelling about the Constitution, and how can he possibly get things done with all that bullshit? No, he needs a government composed of Lawsmiths and Decidesketeers, with values firmly rooted in the Rule Thing, and we need to give him that.
Let’s make this happen. Write your congresspeople and tell them you demand Lawsmiths. If they resist, take ‘em to court so that we can get some Decisketeers put in place and a Rule Thing adopted. We’re at war, people. We need to get on this. Pronto.





51 comments
SeattleDan
August 17, 2006 at 10:19 pm
1Couldn’t we just get rid of the Lawsmiths and Decidesketeers and let the munificent, benevolent, wise and worldly POTUS do everything for us? Seems pretty darn simple to me. Remember, he is the great Decider. Lawsmiths and Decideskeeters seem to gum up the works. Particularly with that Constitution thing. Who the heck ever read that?
The Liberal Avenger
August 17, 2006 at 11:03 pm
2Thank god we’ve got ALBERTO GONZALEZ there running Justice. That guy is a legal GENIUS and he’s always looking out for people just like you and me, Felber.
Fran
August 17, 2006 at 11:04 pm
3Yeah, what Dan said! See, what if those pesky Lawsmiths and Decisketeers decide that they don’t think the great and benevolent POTUS shouldn’t do all the things he wants to do? Why then, all would be unpleasant for the great and benevolent POTUS and we can’t have that! After all, he knows what’s best for everyone, especially since he knows that it all doesn’t matter anyway since he’s gonna be hauled up to the Great Control Center in the Sky. So why even bother with Rule Books and Lawsmiths and thingies like that? Silly Adam!
George C
August 18, 2006 at 12:32 am
4That is a revolutionary idea, Adam.
Linkmeister
August 18, 2006 at 12:35 am
5Can we give this idea a new name, like Felber Carta or something?
Dale
August 18, 2006 at 3:22 am
6It could be Adam’s second great piece of literature in the first person plural.
tim
August 18, 2006 at 4:59 am
7>Attorney General Alberto Gonzales said the Bush Administration disagrees with the ruling and has appealed.
“Hey, Gonzo, any way we could send John Paul Stevens and Ruth Bader Ginsburg to Iraq, say right around the first Monday in October?”
nato
August 18, 2006 at 9:56 am
8Adam, could you quantify a shitload for me? Is a shitload really equivalent to a ton? If so, I’ve been falling far short in my morning constipootionals. And might I suggest that the Rule Thing be engraved in stone, because it’d be a terrible waste if it were just a piece of paper like the Constitution: Terribly flimsy and frequently mistaken by our glorious decider as something only worthy to smear away remnants of the latest shitload.
p.s. — Do the decideskeeters and lawsmiths have to be human? I’m thinking my geckos would do well as either.
Chuggo
August 18, 2006 at 10:00 am
9Remember the Gulf of Tonkin resolution? Remember what that caused? Allowing a president to put a cart in front of the horse causes wars. Period.
Sorry, don’t feel snarky today. This administration not only has no regard for that Rule thingy Adam refers to, they have have no regard for the citizens of the whatchamacallit (country? Land? Dunno).
dee
August 18, 2006 at 12:58 pm
10I, for one, would pay much more attention to Supreme Court decisions if every time they handed one down they were all forced to say “Meeska Mooska Decisketeer!”
waterfowler
August 18, 2006 at 1:15 pm
11They still would like nothing better than to “CUT YOUR HEAD OFF”. Will y’all ever help in this effort or are you so full of hate for GWB that you’ll cut off your nose to spite my face?
Julia
August 18, 2006 at 1:30 pm
12Oh, goddam…..I have been behind lately; just read Sienna’s piece from tomorrow, followed by this one, and both of them are just terrific…thanks. What a gift for a Friday afternoon!
My hat is off to both writers. And it’s a very nice bowler, so you should feel flattered.
nato
August 18, 2006 at 1:33 pm
13wf, how are we supposed to help? Running around directing our efforts towards imaginary terror claims sure as hell doesn’t help anything. Spending billions supporting Halliburton, Bechtel, etc. rather than investing in better equipment for security in our ports and airports isn’t helping. Using the war on terror as a piss-poor smokescreen for nation-building isn’t helping. So, how’s the whole Democracy in the Middle East going, by the way? Afghanistan a happy shiny bastion of freedom and liberty yet? Iraq holding strong and spreading those purple fingers of freedom? Saudi Arabia had any good news on the anti-terror, pro-democracy front yet (other than working harder than ever to get those pesky female drivers off the road)?
nato
August 18, 2006 at 1:37 pm
14I apologize if I came on a bit strong in that last posting; I’d just like to see some semblance of competence from the folks who are supposed to be running this country. From what I can tell, the focus is more on selling off public lands, screwing the environment and enriching corporate pals than on doing anything to fight terrorism or promote democracy.
Harold
August 18, 2006 at 1:42 pm
15So, WF, are you saying that the only way to protect us from those who want to CUT OFF OUR HEADS is to bow down to those who want to TEAR UP OUR CONSTITUTION?
It’s possible to simultaneously fight terrorism and defend America without betraying those ideals that America stands for. It’s just beyond the capabilities of the people who are currently in control.
cooper
August 18, 2006 at 3:52 pm
16Yeah, what Harold & nato said! And nato, I’m sure it was a typo; what Adam really meant to write was shipload, which is technical jargon meaning “steaming heaps”.
Hey, wf, hot enough for ya? BTW, your Bush Administration is looking dumber by the hour, but that’s got to be obvious, even to true believers.
tim, “Gonzo” is the perfect name for the past two AGs. Thanks, pal.
lurker dave
August 18, 2006 at 3:53 pm
17WF, life must be so simple I really do envy you. If I could accept at face value what the leaders (of any stripe) tell me I truly could sleep better at night.
You are correct, there are bad people in the world. And our countries actions have made more of them, not less. Wasn’t one our countrys reasons for going to war was the Iraqi state treated people as criminals without due process? There is due process for this sort of intelligence gathering that can happen after the fact. It served us well when we were faced with the evil empire. Nixon, Reagan, Bush Sr. never asked for this sort of broad reaching invasion of our liberties.
Pointing this out is not counter productive to our mutual goal of living a peaceful existance. I prefer to have my liberties intact.
nato
August 18, 2006 at 4:24 pm
18Thanks for the correction, cooper. I think shipload works well in my original post as well, although I am still uncertain as to whether it is equivalent to a ton (and if so, which ton are we talking about? U.S.? Metric? U.K.?) or not.
hedera
August 18, 2006 at 9:13 pm
19lurker dave, you’re right that neither Nixon nor Reagan ever “asked for this sort of broad reaching invasion of our liberties.” Both of them worked on the principle that it is better to ask forgiveness than permission: Nixon, after all, kept an enemies list which he caused the FBI to investigate, taped every phone call he ever made, and his flunkies felt that burglarizing their political opponents was entirely reasonable. And Reagan’s administration produced the Iran-Contra affair. Dubya is just more open about his unconstitutional doings.
hedera
August 18, 2006 at 9:19 pm
20And by the way, THREE LOUD CHEERS for Judge Anna Diggs Taylor of Detroit, who wrote this wonderful opinion! You GO, girl!
WF, frankly, I don’t care what the terrorists want to do to us. Life is uncertain; the probability of death is 1; we all die sometime and some of us may die because of terrorists. But more of us will die because of cigarettes, or overeating, or idiot drivers with cellphones in one hand. Our Constitution is precious, and unique in the world, and to allow it to be undermined by a bunch of power-hungry ideologues is to give the victory to the terrorists - although, as a matter of fact, the power-hungry ideologues I was referring to reside in Washington, D.C. and are mostly cleanshaven.
David
August 18, 2006 at 11:30 pm
21Amen, hedera.
waterfowler
August 19, 2006 at 8:22 am
22nato, no apologies necessary. I expect strong comments here.
I have a very strong distrust of government. Waco & Ruby Ridge come to mind. But, frankly, I don’t see where this one has torn up the Constitution.
siobhan
August 19, 2006 at 11:18 am
23Fowler, I’m not seeing where they’re spending much time reading it either.
Llelldorin
August 19, 2006 at 12:10 pm
24waterfowler, all you have to do to see the problem is imagine the powers this government has asserted in the hands of a government you don’t approve of.
By this government’s standards, the folks at Ruby Ridge and Waco were unlawful combatants, as are the various right-wing militias. After capture, they could be, by present standards, subjected to waterboarding to force confessions.
Yes, Al Quaida is a terrifying criminal organization, but we don’t need to retreat to a monarchy to defeat it. Our compaint isn’t that the government is fighting terrorism, it’s that they’re doing it in a stupid, reprehensible, and totally ineffective way.
Katie
August 20, 2006 at 12:19 am
25Nato -
A Shitload is slightly less that a metric assload, but still signifigantly more than your average pile o’ shit.
On a closely related topic, I nearly wet myself listening to this week’s WWDTM. While lacking the unique wit of our most esteemed blogger/author/Maker’s Mark imbiber, it was none-the-less an excellent show. My former (and soon-to-be current) employer was featured in a story of class and style. I can attest to the validity of the story, having been one of the lucky letter recipients…. AFTER said employer decided to “let me go” when I submitted the paperwork for my military leave dates. Yes, they truly are a classy organization, and I can hardly wait to get my job back, where once again I can promote the company motto, “We’re not happy, until you’re not happy!”
Harold
August 20, 2006 at 6:47 am
26Waterfowler - perhaps you haven’t heard of David Addington, the architect in charge of dismantling and remodeling the Constitution. No shame in that; most people haven’t. At the risk of tooting my own horn, check out this post and follow the links:
http://anothermonkey.blogspot.com/2006/07/david-addington.html
Harold
August 20, 2006 at 6:36 pm
27Waterfowler, did you mention Waco? That incident is referenced prominently in a stunning new book by political satirist, radio personality, and blogger Adam Felber called Schrodinger’s Ball! Purchase a copy (or several copies) today and take a look!
SeattleDan
August 20, 2006 at 6:50 pm
28Harold, I’ve only recently heard of Addington. I guess if Rove is Bush’s brain, Addington is Rove’s. I guess he is the architect of the theory of the “unitary executive”, aka, fascism. Thanks for the link. I can assume that this is your blog? Very nice! And so is Cybill Shepard.
Alexandra
August 20, 2006 at 11:40 pm
29Alexandra Kazarian, Lawsmith
Hawt. It’s so Mideval! I’m like the chick on Knights Tale who was the only female ironworker, who made Heath Ledger’s armor so he could win the hand of the beautiful Jocylin in the jousting championships…before their romance obviously ended badly and she named her bastard child AudioScience and he went gay for cowboys.
WOW, life in front of my cable box without an impending deadline begets nothing but completely useless information!
Ahem…sorry…um…Yeah, so…like, The President hates our system of government and is trying to scare us out of exercising our freedom? I, like, totally thought that was the definition of the bad guys? You know–those Terrorizsters?
Kip W
August 21, 2006 at 7:30 am
30Sure, it would be easy to tap a phone right now and then get permission 72 hours later, as allowed in the statutes. But the White House is fighting for a principle here, a little thing called ‘The Divine Right of Kings.’
nato
August 21, 2006 at 11:25 am
31How delightfully topical: I drove past Naples, Idaho this weekend on a short jaunt up to Canada (had to teach the kids how to speak Canadian on the way up; now the boy-child won’t quit adding “eh” to the end of all of his sentences). Naples is the town near the fictitious Ruby Ridge (a.k.a. the nameless hillside between Ruby Creek and Caribou Ridge where Randy Weaver used to live). Other than a ridiculous increase in real estate prices, the town doesn’t seem to have changed much since in the past decade.
Jim (Original Jim, not the Other Jim or the New Jim)
August 21, 2006 at 12:51 pm
32Yeah Kip,
Invoking the “Divine Right of Kings” sure worked wonders for Britain’s Charles I.
Our own George Jr. would do well to study up on his world history.
Katie
August 21, 2006 at 8:26 pm
33Jim - Nice thought, if he could read……….
SeattleDan
August 21, 2006 at 11:29 pm
34Hey, didn’t he just read the “Stranger” by Alber(dont pronounce the ‘t’,) Camus,(pronounced Cay-mus,kinda like K-Mart), in the original French? That’s what I heard. Yep. Our President is somekinda intellecutal.
Ok, maybe he read it in translation. God knows that his reading it in French is an incredible stretch even for us to believe.
waterfowler
August 22, 2006 at 1:06 pm
35nato, sounds a bit flippant, eh? it hasn’t changed much other than the fact that a mother and son no longer live there because they were murdered by US. Sometimes apologies may be necessary, Asshat. I didn’t want any ice cream anyway.
nato
August 22, 2006 at 2:15 pm
36wf, you seem crankier than usual today. Naples is still a quiet little logging town up here in Northern Idaho. Have you been there recently?
Are you implying that I should apologize for saying the town hasn’t changed much, or that the U.S. government should apologize for killing two people? If the former, I apologize for Naples not changing much. If the latter, I think you might try redirecting your anger: I have about as much say in getting the U.S. government to apologize for the “Ruby Ridge” shootout as I do in getting it to apologize for its atrocities anywhere else. Since I am still waiting to hear back regarding an apology for the murder of strikers during the “Battle of the Viaduct”, there’s not much hope they’ll have an apology ready for the “Ruby Ridge” incident anytime soon.
p.s. — Who’s handing out ice cream?
SeattleTammy
August 22, 2006 at 8:12 pm
37I’ll take some French Vanilla!
http://www.harpercollins.com/books/9780061011313/Every_Knee_Shall_Bow/ index.aspx
WF, I’d ask you to read my pal Jess’ book about Ruby Ridge and consider some of the other implications of what all happened there.
Another case of government excess that might give you joy is Burning Rainbow Farm, in which the couple’s children are taken away and the persecution ends in a fire ball killing them both.
Oh, well, they were gay after all…
http://www.salon.com/books/review/2006/06/13/kuipers/index_np.html
Katie
August 22, 2006 at 8:26 pm
38Ice Cream?!!! New York Super Fudge Chunk please!!!!!!!!!
Katie
August 22, 2006 at 8:28 pm
39SeattleDan - Actually, I think it was the illustrated, pop-up version of The Stranger………….
siobhan
August 22, 2006 at 9:09 pm
40- - Off topic –
Fowler, if you’re still here: I’ll be swabbing birds’ butts to look for H5N1 this fall. No duck butts, though, so you’re still on your own for those.
- - Return to topic - -
waterfowler
August 22, 2006 at 9:10 pm
41SeattleTammy, thanks for the links. I’ll gladly read both, but I might need you to pass the doob for that second one. These are areas we might actually agree on as I am so far right, I sometimes agree w/ you lefties. Sadly, it’s usually only when a repug is POTUS.
nato, ice cream is on you for being an ASSHAT. I don’t get any for name calling, but Coop and David want pecans on theirs.
p.s. “US” stands for you and me.
waterfowler
August 22, 2006 at 9:15 pm
42siobhan, what birds are you after? I saw somewhere that an “avian flu jr.” had reached us, but haven’t heard anything since. Any info? Dove & Teal season are upon us, so if I need to swab their butts before I feed ‘em to the little rednecks, let me know.
Dale
August 22, 2006 at 9:28 pm
43Anyone else suspect that Bush went in to the bookstore and said that Laura wanted him to read a book, so did they have anything short and with dead Arabs?
siobhan
August 22, 2006 at 10:02 pm
44Fowler, just cook ‘em first. And don’t eat the lungs. (Swabbing is just taking the samples, not anything you need to do for food prep.) I’ll be testing hawks via our banding program. We don’t actually expect that we’ll find any infected birds in that population, but negative results are just as important as positive results.
SeattleTammy
August 22, 2006 at 11:57 pm
45aaarrgghh!
I had a brilliant post which disappeared. POOF!
siobahn: you go! swab them bird butts! It’s in the name of national security- isn’t it?
round here we are thrilled by the first appearance of Stellar Jays! and the return of Scrub Jays! (they went away for a whole year)
WF: don’t Bogart that book, my friend, but please buy it at an independent bookstore, afterall, isn’t that the corner stone of Amerika? small business makes good?
Both available at Jackson Street Books… not that should sway you in any way…
David
August 23, 2006 at 5:46 am
46WF,
Minor correction: pecans in the ice cream, butter pecan ice cream to be exact. But I’ll take whatever is being served. Meanwhile, football fever for us pre-season #7 Saurians is rising.
waterfowler
August 24, 2006 at 12:19 pm
47Hook ‘em Horns, David. My bad about the ice cream. I just remember someone asking what it was w/ us Southerners and our pecans.
For you yanks and left coasties, please pronounce “puh-cons” or you’ll hurt someone’s spine.
Landis
August 24, 2006 at 1:04 pm
48Speaking of pronounciations…
I had a teacher who grew up in the Almond growing area of California’s central valley. He had quite a bit of experience in snow surveys and in the 70s went to Afghanistan to help them set up their own. While walking around the countryside he ran into some kids who wanted to practice their English. I’m sure there’s a whole generation of Afghans that still pronounce them ‘A-mends’ and not ‘AW-monds’
Dale
August 24, 2006 at 5:51 pm
49Are pecans related to wing nuts?
Harold
August 24, 2006 at 6:43 pm
50WF, ’round these parts we consider the “p’kon” pronunciation of “pecan” to be pretentiously high-falutin’. Though I can understand why some folks would be amused at hearing them called “pee-cans.”
David
August 24, 2006 at 7:24 pm
51WF,
Looks like them Horns might. ‘Course, Florida Gators are pretty much terrorizing the unsuspecting at the moment.
Dale,
Pecans are their own Southern food group. Wing nuts are indigestible, unless you’re a squirrel.