Worried about the world? Do you fear that the US invasion of Iraq has failed to stabilize the region, diverted attention from Afghanistan, alienated our allies, and united our enemies? Don’t fret - it’s time to play It Could Be Worse (Middle East Edition)!
LONDON, England (CNN) — A deadly Israeli airstrike in the southern Lebanese town of Qana provoked stiff and swift condemnation across the globe Sunday as the conflict between Israel and Hezbollah guerrillas in Lebanon showed little sign of ending…Palestinian President Mahmoud Abbas called the Qana attack “an ugly massacre” and called for Israel to stop its attacks “for the protection of civilian life.”… “President Assad [of Syria] assured the Lebanese president again of full Syrian solidarity with Lebanon and its readiness to help,” according to a SANA report.
It Could Be Worse: This could be happening in Lebanon, New York - but it isn’t!
TEHRAN, Iran (AP) — Iran’s foreign ministry warned Sunday that Tehran would abandon the West’s package of nuclear incentives if the U.N. Security Council approves a resolution against Iran on Monday…Iran has said it will never give up its right under the Nuclear Nonproliferation Treaty to enrich uranium and produce nuclear fuel but has indicated it may temporarily suspend large-scale activities to ease tensions.
It Could Be Worse: In addition to nuclear technology, Iran could have developed a horrifying bomb that destroys clothing. But they haven’t yet!
BAGHDAD, Iraq (CNN) — Four U.S. Marines were killed on Saturday in Iraq’s Anbar province, the U.S. military said on Sunday…Gunmen attacked two Sunni mosques early Saturday in Baghdad, The Associated Press reported…Four worshippers were killed in a separate mortar attack on a Sunni mosque in southern Baghdad hours earlier, Iraqi emergency police said…About 3,200 members of the 82nd Airborne Division based at Fort Bragg, North Carolina, will start heading to Iraq on August 6…In other violence Saturday morning, 12 workers were wounded when a grenade exploded in an area of central Baghdad where day laborers line up for work…
It Could Be Worse: Baghdad could be infested with giant radioactive lemurs. But it’s not!
KABUL (Reuters) - NATO forces took over security from a U.S.-led coalition in restive southern Afghanistan on Monday, embarking on one of the alliance’s biggest ground operations in its history… Afghanistan is going through its bloodiest phase of violence since the ouster of the Taliban government in 2001, with most attacks occurring in the south.
It Could Be Worse: There could be a- Afghanistan could- U.S. policy could have been even more, uh… maybe the streets of Kabul could be knee deep in sulfuric acid? Wouldn’t that be worse? Or maybe aliens could vaporize the region? I don’t know. I just don’t know.
Final ICBW score: 75%!! That could be worse!
See the comments for: “It Could Be Worse: Global Warming Edition!” and “It Could Be Worse: American Economy Edition!” and other exciting It Could Be Worse games!
Fanny Roborat
27 comments
dee
July 31, 2006 at 5:08 am
1From the It Could Be Worse:Political Edition!:
The 22nd amendment has not been repealed.
tim
July 31, 2006 at 5:34 am
2Dee,
Yet.
JOHN MURPHY
July 31, 2006 at 6:57 am
3It is worse. My 75 year old, right wing conservative, bigoted, ass-hole neighbor watches Fox News all day every day. Yesterday he asked me who Hezbollah was and why he had never heard of them. I suggested he listen to NPR instead of watching the “Fair and Balanced” right wing propaganda machine called Fox News.
Harold
July 31, 2006 at 9:22 am
4Adam, I was starting to wonder if maybe you’ve grown tired of writing for a comedy talk show on a certain vulpine network and have decided to try your hand at writing for their “News” division.
STORY: I am currently at work.
IT COULD BE WORSE #1: I could be working outside in triple-digit temperatures.
IT COULD BE WORSE #2: I could be unemployed.
IT COULD BE WORSE #3: Someone could be flying a jet plane into my workplace.
Damn. None of those are funny at all. I should get back to work.
nato
July 31, 2006 at 9:49 am
5It Could Be Worse (Domestic Edition): There could be another Bush presidency two elections from now.
tim
July 31, 2006 at 10:03 am
6That link in my first comment is broken. Here’s a better one, I think:
http://thomas.loc.gov/cgi-bin/query/z?c109:H.J.RES.24:
I wonder if Steny Hoyer is mentioning this bill in his re-election campaign.
Harold
July 31, 2006 at 10:31 am
7If that passes, will that mean we can re-elect Bill Clinton?
Fran
July 31, 2006 at 11:18 am
8No no no, Nato! It Could Be Worse…if Bush is impeached and we get Cheney, who is then elected for a subsequent two terms!
Okay, that scared me. I’ve got to stop doing that. Must medicate with much chocolate, and contemplate emigrating to Canada.
Murray
July 31, 2006 at 12:24 pm
9Yes things could be worse. I could be living in Texas where the triple digit demonstration of global warming is a year round event.
tess
July 31, 2006 at 12:44 pm
10Fran,
Didn’t Canadians just elect an ultra-conservative twink as PM over to the north? I’m thinking New Zealand.
Jim (Original Jim, not the Other Jim or the New Jim)
July 31, 2006 at 12:56 pm
11Fran,
The way I read the twenty-second amendment, Cheney would only be able to finish out the current term after the impeachment, and then serve one more, if elected.
And it can be worse, while there are currently TWO house measures to repeal the twenty second amendment, there could be twelve. Both are languishing in the constitutional committee.
And it could be even worse: YOUR name could have been Mullah Dadullah. If all Taliban guerrillas have such Dr. Seussian names, no wonder there are “hundreds of suicide bombers” awaiting the NATO forces.
Chuggo
July 31, 2006 at 2:03 pm
12Things could be worse, the TV edition: MTV could do a series on the 70’s, PART THREE.
Ugh, too snarky.
I believe Jim(OJ,NTOJORNJ) is correct. My buddy Dick is limited in terms when it comes to my friend George being convicted after impeachment. I don’t think that scenario is going to happen. Better to discuss how to make this “things could be worse” chain to “How things could be better”. Get the neo-cons out!
Harold
July 31, 2006 at 2:57 pm
13How things could get better!
PEACE IN THE MIDDLE EAST
THE SITUATION: Israel is bombing the hell out of Lebanon because the Hezbollah forces based in Lebanon have kidnapped two Israeli soldiers and are lobbing some of their 13,000 accumulated missiles into the most populated parts of Israel, and the Lebanese government has ben too weak to do anything to either control Hezbollah or stop Israel.
HOW THINGS COULD BE BETTER: Israel turns Lebanon into an object lesson for the rest of the Middle East: don’t be so weak that someone else can invade you with impunity, and don’t be so weak that a single militia can dictate your foreign policy. All governments in the region become heavily-armed totalitarian regimes, investing all of their capital into military deterrence and snuffing out any oposition to the ruling party. A stalemate ensues in which no country can attack another country without both countries being totaly destroyed - Mutual Assured Destruction, shared by all of the nations in the region. Result: Lasting peace in the Middle East! (Until somebody blinks…)
Mojo
July 31, 2006 at 3:49 pm
14In addition to the hundreds who have been killed in the current round of Middle East fighting, there are hundreds more who are currently missing.
ICBW
One of them could be a blond American woman.
Becca (and Brian)
July 31, 2006 at 4:02 pm
15Too sad about it all at the moment to see the funny anymore…
I’m feeding my funny bone lots of chicken soup though so hopefully it (and my sense of humor and of the absurd) will make a strong recovery before too long.
Off to Great Keppel Island (and hopefully no news for a few days)
Becca
Fran
July 31, 2006 at 6:46 pm
16Oh my, so what you’re saying is that it’s possible to impeach the shrub, have Cheney for another four years after we get rid of the shrubbery, and then it’s possible that the 22nd will go away and we’ll have Cheney until he kicks?
The only upside about that is that his health is so iffy, and his aim is so shaky that either he could have heart failure or shoot himself in the face. That’s not entirely hopeful, is it.
Dale
July 31, 2006 at 7:53 pm
17Q: What did the poet say to the essayist?
A: It could be verse!
See, anything can be made worse with a pun.
siobhan
July 31, 2006 at 10:25 pm
18It
couldwill be worse. We still have two and a half years to explore variations on that theme.Oh goody.
Stephen
August 1, 2006 at 6:48 am
19I take great comfort in knowing that they will never get enough votes together in the House or Senate to repeal the 22nd amendment. Failing that I highly doubt that 3/4 of the states would pass it. I have known that this was coming for about 3 years. Luckily, there are enough of you crazy liberals (no offense) and enough of us real conservatives to stop this from going anywhere if it ever reached the state level.
It is depressing that they would even try.
Dale
August 1, 2006 at 12:03 pm
20It probably couldn’t be much worse, but watching this always makes me feel better:
http://animal.discovery.com/cams/pandavidr.html
David
August 3, 2006 at 8:10 pm
21It is, worse, far, far worse than it could be, and that’s a fact. Pphhhllllttttthhhhhhttttttt (or however it’s spelled).
Landis
August 4, 2006 at 11:40 am
22Jim(OJ,NTOJORNJ), I believe that all depends on when the VP takes office. If it’s with less than two years to go he can get elected for two terms.
My interpretation of this amendment also leads me to believe that Bill Clinton could run as VP - he just couldn’t run for President again….
ICBW indeed.
Jim (Original Jim, not the Other Jim or the New Jim)
August 4, 2006 at 6:20 pm
23Thanks for the clarification Landis.
I suspect that what the dems need to do now is an end run around the prez prior to impeachment, and get tricky dick II’s taxes audited.
Just like during the Nixon era, the vice goes down for tax evasion, and the sitting prez is ousted after appointing a new veep.
Of course the difference between this administration and Nixon’s is that Nixon was the power behind the throne during his terms, and Cheney has been the powermonger of this admin.
As for which incompetent lackey may then be appointed veep by shrub, could it be worse than who we have now?
David
August 4, 2006 at 9:41 pm
24No.
Landis
August 6, 2006 at 3:43 pm
25If it’s the one thing President Bush excels at, it’s exceeding my expectations when it comes to being able to make things any worse.
m
August 15, 2006 at 4:09 pm
26Yes, soldiers are dying in the field- but it could be worse- some lame comedian could find humor in their death.
Harold
August 16, 2006 at 9:01 am
27Yes, soldiers are dying in the field because they are being used as cannon fodder by an administration that has completely politicized terrorism, but it could be worse - smug wingnuts could blame the satirists.