Rolling Stones’ guitarist Keith Richards must be wheezing and rasping a sigh of relief today, now that that state’s Parole Board has approved an application for clemency submitted by Arkansas Governor Mike Huckabee over a 31-year-old arrest.
A pardon will now be forwarded to Huckabee within 30 days. And he will no doubt sign this important and crucial document once he clears off all the “congratulations” messages he received after Arkansas came in number 48 on the list of “Healthiest US States” last year.
Richards was arrested in 1975, as he and other Rolling Stones guitarist Ron Wood (Richards’ “second” in a recent duel with a palm tree) were driving from Memphis to Dallas. An Arkansas cop pulled the swaying (surprise!) vehicle over. Police said they smelled marijuana, but everyone knows that a Marijuana Air Freshener is the best thing to get that “old burnt spoon” smell out of your car.
Richards was charged with reckless driving and possession of a concealed knife (for cleaning out his deep face-crevasses), and a fan that was riding with the two was charged with “possession of a controlled substance,” which was pleaded down to “sharing a ride with a Keith Richards.”
Richards pleaded guilty to reckless driving and paid a $162.50 fine, which nowadays will buy you a seat in the parking lot at a Rolling Stones show.
Huckabee is a longtime fan of the band. He plays bass guitar in a group called Capitol Offense that performed for the RNC in 2004, although many Republican delegates found the act of “laying down some bottom” to be an offense against man and God.





14 comments
Sharon
July 19, 2006 at 5:39 pm
1I’m being nit-picky, I know, but I didn’t go to law school for nuthin.’ Richards pleaded guilty and paid the fine, so the pardon accomplishes what now? Richards gets back the $162.50?
On the other hand, I’m certainly relieved to know that Arkansas has finally put this very pressing issue behind it. Now maybe the state government can work on smaller issues, like jobs, health care, and the like.
Keith Richards
July 19, 2006 at 7:01 pm
2Gaugahhhhhhhhhharhhhhhhhuuuuauga..
YLlama
July 19, 2006 at 7:45 pm
3Didn’t you mean to write that he pleaded down from “sharing a ride with a Keith Richards” to “possession of a controlled substance?”
Murray
July 19, 2006 at 7:47 pm
4One of the lines we use in Tony’s Congressional Campaign is in regards to the 2005 energy bill which paid oil companies to drill for more oil, “This is like paying Keith Richards to take drugs”.
(It always gets a good laugh)
Hot Tub Tommy
July 19, 2006 at 7:51 pm
5…“laying down some bottom” to be an offense against man and God.
You mean It’s not?
Sheriff Lugar Axehandle
July 19, 2006 at 7:58 pm
6…after Arkansas came in number 48 on the list of “Healthiest US States” last year.
Well, I want to eat better, and I would, but it’s hard to get them big bags of vegetables through that skinny door of my doublewide. Plus that kitchen far Momma had last week damn near ruint the stove and icebox.
SeattleDan
July 19, 2006 at 9:17 pm
7And I quote:
Huckabee MAN
apologies to:
(M. Jagger/K. Richards)
I’m a fleabit peanut Huckabee
All my friends are junkies
That’s not really true
I’m a cold Italian pizza
I could use a lemon squeezer
What you do?
But I’ve been bit and I’ve been tossed around
By every she-rat in this town
Have you, babe?
Well, I am just a Huckabee man
I’m glad you are a Huckabee woman too
I was bitten by a boar
I was gouged and I was gored
But I pulled on through
Yes, I’m a sack of broken eggs
I always have an unmade bed
Don’t you?
Well, I hope we’re not too messianic
Or a trifle too satanic
We love to play the blues
Well I am just a Huckabee man
I’m glad you are a Huckabee, Huckabee woman
Huckabee woman too, babe!
I’m a Huckabee! I’m a Huckabee!
I’m a Huckabee man! I’m a Huckabee man!
I’m a Huckabee! I’m a Huckabee! I’m a Huckabee! I’m a Huckabee!
Huckabee! huckabee! huckabee!…….
tim
July 20, 2006 at 4:25 am
8A pardon? Is that the best Huckabee could do? Clinton would have gotten him a pardon AND a couple of 19-year-old “State House adminstrative assistants”.
John
July 20, 2006 at 8:10 am
9In America, all are supposed to be equal in the eyes of the law. This is a case of “It’s not what you did; it’s who you are.”
How is this any different from Slick Willie pardoning his cokehead brother?
How can you claim to be a member of the Law and Order Party if you ignore the law and equal protection?
All this does is shine a light on the fact that in Arkansas, some are more equal than others, and some are above the law.
Nick
July 20, 2006 at 3:09 pm
10I know this is probably way outside the bounds of blog-kosher, but Chris, isn’t the guy in the middle of the picture on today’s “Mythstory” Michael Collins? I apologise that was supposed to be a funny and I just missed the joke.
Apologies to all for the off-topic, off-blog message.
Landis
July 20, 2006 at 3:49 pm
11Nick, I believe that’s the joke. No one ever remembers the poor schmoe who only got to fly around the Moon in the command module. Given Aldrin’s reported attitude about being number 2 it would have been funnier had Collins been identified and Buzz left out.
Murray
July 20, 2006 at 5:01 pm
12What’s even worse is if you walk on the moon and the vice-president (Dan Quayle) calls you Buzz Lukens (Ohio Congressman convicted of sexual crimes).
JamesPaul jr
July 21, 2006 at 5:35 am
13Buzz Lukens! That guy was my “Congressman” back in the day.
Ahhh…Brings back the memories….
Ok, time for another two hour shower…Late!
Murray
July 21, 2006 at 9:25 am
14James Paul
He was mine too back in the late 70s. I lived in Oxford and worked at Hueston Woods. And yes he was really slimy.