Severe rains last night toppled an elm tree next to the White House that has been standing there for over 140 years. It’s actually one of the trees engraved on the back of the 20 dollar bill. Take a bill out–Look at it! And yes, it’s a “tree,” not a Mason Symbol encoded to hypnotize you into being passive before the powers of the Illuminati.
The tree sprouted under Lincoln, and has now fallen under Bush, although it was not part of his controversial “Healthy White House Lawn Initiative.” It has shaded over 24 presidents, has been urinated upon by dozens of White House pets and Alice Roosevelt (she was a bit of a wild child), and suffered no other trauma except the time a lower bough snapped during one of William Howard Taft’s tree-climbing sessions. He often spent time in the tree, writing in his journal, celebrating his “quiet place.” (Lots of “body issues,” our WHT had.)
So say good-bye to the White House elm, and plant a tree in its memory. But not one of those trees that cause air pollution. They do that, right?
Fanny Roborat
23 comments
Chris Regan
June 26, 2006 at 1:16 pm
1By the way, a Reagan-tree pollution joke has slightly less life in it than the dead elm.
I couldn’t think of an “ender.”
icengineer
June 26, 2006 at 1:22 pm
2Trees only pollute during Republican administrations. Just watch what happens next time a Democrat wins the presidency. All those liberal trees will start a four year cycle of sucking up carbon dioxide, and the next thing you know, we’ll all be saying, “Global what?” Not the Republicans, though: they’ll be claiming it’s all due to Bush’s “No Elm Left Behind” program.
Bruce
June 26, 2006 at 2:25 pm
3Dude, you must’ve missed the memo. They don’t cause pollution now; now, we call it “life”.
Jason
June 26, 2006 at 3:43 pm
4Like the new look to the site!
Murray
June 26, 2006 at 3:52 pm
5At least they aren’t blaming the Dutch for the tree’s demise.
nato
June 26, 2006 at 4:09 pm
6Why couldn’t the tree have fallen on Bush rather than under him? Obviously not actually one of the liberal trees.
Maximum Bob
June 26, 2006 at 4:12 pm
7That’s one less tree bogarting the CO2.
cooper
June 26, 2006 at 5:59 pm
8Well, Murray, at least not yet.
Chris, that joke has lots of life left in it. Us gray beards fondly remember the prankster dressed in a tree suit that used to follow Ronnie Raygun around from speech to speech with the sign hanging from one limb that said “Chop me! Before I kill again!”
Dale
June 26, 2006 at 6:17 pm
9Yesterday, it was a tree.
Today, a web log.
(I’m sorry. We get less press than the pedophiles, but the web is also the last refuge for punners.)
cooper
June 26, 2006 at 6:57 pm
10Yes, Dale, we’re seeing a pattern.
dee
June 27, 2006 at 6:12 am
11Totally off topic (as is our wont around here) but Jon Carroll’s column this morning begins thusly:
There was a little cultural moment a few weeks ago, and its significance passed me right by. A movie opened that was based on a public radio program. Doesn’t that seem somehow backward to you? And yet Robert Altman’s “A Prairie Home Companion” not only opened but also achieved a modest success, grossing at this writing just about $10 million.
What next? Suppose one of the fake news stories on “Wait, Wait, Don’t Tell Me” — something about parakeets being fitted with nanotech-based low-yield nuclear devices — turns out to be a real government program, and Peter Sagal gets sent to Guantanamo and the rest of the zany gang has to rescue him.
I don’t know about the rest of you, but THAT would get me back into a movie theatre.
Mary
June 27, 2006 at 8:10 am
12Dee- I’ll buy the popcorn! That does sound like a good one.
That tree falling was part of a carefully orchestrated conservative plot to get the nation’s mind off the war in Iraq. See? It worked ;-D
Benjamin
June 27, 2006 at 9:54 am
13I’d even go to the Mall cinema for that one.
As a long time lurker (I already miss the old floral print couch) I’m a bit overwhelmed by the new site. I get too busy to check in for a few days and there are loads of new posts and comments to catch up on. So much for a quick five minute break from work…
I’m drawn to the name FanAp Shop. Should I call myself a FanAp Fan? Murray- should it now be called FanApalooza to keep poor Adam’s humility intact?
dee
June 27, 2006 at 10:08 am
14“FanApalooza” sounds like something having to do with the appreciation of horses. And I’m not overly fond of them myself.
Ann
June 27, 2006 at 10:41 am
15And Murray, how come nobody’s answering my mail about Felberpalooza? Some of us have to make plans, you know!
(Although I do like horses. Rather better than bikes.)
cooper in Charlotte
June 27, 2006 at 1:40 pm
16dee, have you been bitten and stepped on also?
When I young lad growing up (a work, BTW, sadly still in progress) my neighbor’s dad parked his brand new 1964 Pontiac Bonneville beside a barbed wire fence enclosed pasture. When he came back to his car, many beers and several hours later, he found the paint eaten off of his right rear cornerpanel. Out in the middle of the pasture was one swayback mare (wisely out of drunken rock chucking distance) with swatches of white paint chips still adorning its nose and lips. On the other hand, my mom loved horses.
Murray
June 27, 2006 at 4:05 pm
17Ann, I’m not sure what the mail about Felberpalooza is about. I haven’t seen anything. It would be best to send the questions to me personally.
Ice Weasel was keeping the Felberpalooza page and I haven’t been able to contact him for quite a while now. I’m not sure if he is still on board. Russell, call me.
If some one would like to work on things like t-shirts, and other merchandise, and would like to do some marketing I could really use the help. I’m kind of up to my eyeballs doing my Grouseland thing and saving America by getting my friend Tony elected to Congress.
Currently the best place to go for info is my site at http://www.grouseland.com/72hours.htm and you can email me at murray@grouseland.com
We are still on for an exciting weekend. For those not into biking, that is OK, lots of other fun stuff to do while the cycling obsessed do their thing.
I’m fine with any name that Adam would like to go with. I believe that he wanted “Schrodinger’s Ball” as the official name but I would need to get an official nod for that. I’ve been calling it both.
Yes FanApalooza does sound like a horse with a spotted ass. Hmm.. maybe that would be appropriate.
piglet
June 27, 2006 at 7:00 pm
18Dee,
Thank you for using the word “wont.”
cooper
June 27, 2006 at 7:58 pm
19Chris, sorry, an off-target entry - we do this @ FA quite a bit.
This just off the wire - Rush Limbaugh got busted for having possession of a bottle of Viagra with someone else’s name on the prescription. This may queer his court deal. Awwww…
http://www.cnn.com/2006/LAW/06/27/limbaugh.viagra.ap/index.html
The FanAp elves
June 28, 2006 at 12:54 am
20(cooper, your comment didn’t get eaten by Fanny — it went into the moderation queue. That means something in the content of the comment triggered the “spam warning” filter and saved it for review. A real person then has to look at the comment and then approve it as valid or deem it as spam. This may take a while. In any case, there should have been a message explaining this when you submitted your comment — let me know what happened. Was there no message at all? What did it say? I’ll look into it.)
(And I’ve approved your comment, as shown above in #19.)
cooper
June 28, 2006 at 5:03 am
21Dear Management,
Actually, the system functioned as advertised, neatly collared my comment(s) and, apparently placed my e-mail identity in the cooler until a real live human could approve. I assume the spam filter objected to my use of the “V” word; quite understandable, that’s what spam filters do. Perhaps as time goes on, the spam threat level can be tweaked down from red. Is this a new feature, or was it disguised before as something else?
That rat still creeps me out. Lower the voltage so the eyes don’t glow so brightly; maybe that’s it.
anon
July 1, 2006 at 7:56 pm
22yes, nerdy, but I do wonder how that tree managed to avoid getting Dutch elm disease.
That’s IT! The VP infected the elm with his foul arboreal perversions, and the Secret Service had to “take it out” to cover up the story.
Well, if a Clinton was still in the whitehouse, that would be the storyline playing 24/7 on Faux.
hedera
July 1, 2006 at 10:34 pm
23Dee, another Jon Carroll fan! I read that column too and enjoyed it, as I do most of his.
Cooper in Charlotte’s story about the horse reminded me of the episode on Car Talk when the lady complained that, having spent the day at some kind of equestrian establishment, where she parked in the yard leaving the windows open, she returned to her truck to find that several horses had eaten the steering wheel. I don’t remember what Tom and Ray advised…