No Rove Charges Over Testimony on C.I.A. Leak
WASHINGTON, June 13 — The decision by a special prosecutor not to bring charges against Karl Rove in the C.I.A. leak case followed months of intense behind-the-scenes maneuvering between the prosecutor, Patrick J. Fitzgerald, and Mr. Rove’s lawyer, lawyers in the case said.
The move, made public early Tuesday by Mr. Rove’s lawyer, Robert D. Luskin, brought a surprise ending to the investigation of Mr. Rove, President Bush’s senior adviser. At one point last fall, Mr. Rove seemed close to facing perjury charges over lapses in his early testimony about a conversation with a Time magazine reporter.
A spokesman for Mr. Fitzgerald, Randall Samborn, had no comment.
Though the day was sunny, Mr. Luskin’s press conference on the White House lawn was conducted in the shade of a large, elongated object that was not immediately identifiable.
Observers from several blocks away said that the sun over the White House was blotted out by what appeared to be some sort of gigantic shoe. It seemed to be the mate of a similar shoe that was found lying in the White House driveway earlier in the day. Subsequent sattelite photographs revealed that the footwear, estimated to be “a size 54,275 and a half,” was not supported by or affixed to any objects above or below it.
“It’s just dangling there over the lawn,” said a passerby. “You’d think it’d fall or something.”
Professor Arthur L. Pernick of the physics department at George Washington University later confirmed the lay observer’s opinion. “They were lucky that they concluded that press conference safely,” he concurred. “The laws of physics tell us that sooner or later, that shoe is going to fall.”
At press time the shoe was still aloft, listing slightly towards the offices of Vice President Cheney. A Homeland Security analyst offered no timetable for the footwear’s fall, saying only that it appeared to be “very, very heavy.”





24 comments
Linkmeister
June 14, 2006 at 2:12 am
1I devoutly hope you’re right.
Harold
June 14, 2006 at 7:04 am
2So at this point, do we have any hope other than faith that Hell exists, and that Mr. Rove might go to his grave unshrived?
Sharon
June 14, 2006 at 7:25 am
3Rove will likely be called to testify at Scooter’s trial–that’s my hope.
Murray
June 14, 2006 at 8:44 am
4Hey Adam, what kind of reporter are you? You got the size correct but what KIND of shoe was it? Penny loafer, army boot, pink pump? You reporters always miss the important things. (And they misquote you, no matter how hard you try)
Mary
June 14, 2006 at 10:17 am
5A size 54,275 1/2 eh? Think it can take out Bush, Cheney, Rove, Rice and a few dozen more when it does fall?? Time to start praying to the Almighty Lobster.
not that Pete
June 14, 2006 at 10:34 am
6Murray, given the current administration, I’d guess bright red clown shoe.
Jen (yes, that Jen)
June 14, 2006 at 11:16 am
7http://www.sltrib.com/search/ci_3896635
Check this link out…wonderfully spoken argument AGAINST the con ammend to outlaw gay marriage from a mormon point of view…
David
June 14, 2006 at 12:43 pm
8Mary Matalin is reported to have been motioning nervously toward the Big Item of Footwear in the Sky and muttering acerbicly, “Shoo, dammit, shoo. Our greatest Vice-President ever does ill-advised things when he’s drunk, especially when he’s drunk with power. It doesn’t mean he’s a bad person. So just go away.”
sue
June 14, 2006 at 4:01 pm
9jen,
you should also mention that the man that wrote the wonderfully eloquelt letter about the LDS church and the gay marriage admentment was fired from BYU yesterday, and it looks like he may also be excommunicated. He is definitely in a minority in Provo. There is an article in today’s Salt Lake Tribune about the responses to his letter. I have lived here in Utah for 12 years and I am still amazed at the intolerance that some people here have for being a formerly “opressed” people themselves.
Linkmeister
June 14, 2006 at 4:58 pm
10Here’s the article about Mr. Nielsen’s dismissal (technically a “decision not to rehire”) from BYU.
Dale
June 14, 2006 at 5:50 pm
11Regarding shoe details–I think it’s a big ol’ boot. As in, another one that’s not on the ground.
Or could it be….a flip-flop?
cooper
June 14, 2006 at 7:41 pm
12Since Mr. Fitzgerald has decided that Karl Rove won’t be prosecuted for lying, when do you think Bush will get around to firing him for leaking? We’re waiting, Mr. President.
On another topic, when W was in Iraq visiting with al-Maliki, did anyone report whether Bush looked into his soul? Or whether Bush served that plastic turkey left over from Thanksgiving in ‘03. It’s probably still just as fresh and appetizing.
David
June 14, 2006 at 10:41 pm
13As an emancipated former Southern Baptist (I’m not really sure how Jimmy Carter manages to be who he is and still a Southern Baptist, although I admire the man greatly), all I can say is religious orthodoxy/intellectual freedom, take your pick. The latter is the far more difficult, but far more rewarding path for intellects not disposed toward constriction for the sake of emotional security. I will add that I do know some very religious people who are unconstrained intellectuals, but they are also unbowed by orthodoxy or subservience to heirarchy.
cooper
June 14, 2006 at 10:51 pm
14David, you may be thrilled to learn that Jimmy Carter is no longer a member of the Southern Baptist Convention. He still considers himself a Baptist, but has issues with the direction and stances of the SBC and has left that organization. I agree with your above statement on religion. I, too, am an ex-Southern Baptist and a free-thinker, unencumbered by orthodoxy or superstition. Oh, and Karl Rove - he’s a dickhead.
SeattleDan
June 15, 2006 at 12:21 am
15I’m worried. Isn’t the looming shoe a sign of the coming rapture and Armageddon? I’m not ready!
But I could be ready,if Karl Rove is raptured. Let us pray.
David
June 15, 2006 at 9:18 am
16Did his church split (Baptist churches have that right but seldom practice it)? I am more than thrilled to learn the mortal JC did. He is such a great guy, and as a friend said back when Reagan first left office and concerned himself only with money-making appearances, “At least I have an ex-President of whom I can be proud.” Hats off to Nancy, of course, for her courageous, determined stand on stem cell research, and the father of Ron, Jr. couldn’t be all bad, just misguided.
Dan,
Imagine Karl Rove’s sorry ass rising naked from the White House, only to be booted into the middle of the Atlantic by the right foot of God.
Harold
June 15, 2006 at 10:41 am
17So when the Rapture comes and Karl is called to meet Jesus in the air with all the other faithful, will he get stuck to the bottom of the shoe like so much dog crap?
siobhan
June 15, 2006 at 1:47 pm
18David, I really really really really don’t want to imagine Karl Rove’s naked ass. It makes my breakfast feel like it wants a return trip.
siobhan
June 15, 2006 at 5:17 pm
19Okay, Bush did a good thing today. He signed off on making the northwest Hawaiian Islands a national monunument, and if I’m understanding this correctly they’ll be phasing out all fishing in the area within five years. Hugely important breeding grounds for a lot of species. If I’m going to rant about the stuff I don’t like, it’s important to praise the things I do support.
Julia
June 15, 2006 at 5:58 pm
20David - Jimmy Carter talks about that rift in his latest book (I think), ‘Our Endangered Values: America’s Moral Crisis.’ Which I haven’t finished yet….
Sadly, when I looked that up on Amazon, the one listed just above his was “The Real Jimmy Carter: How our Worst Ex-President Undermines American Foreign Policy*, Coddles Dictators and Created the Party of Clinton and Kerry.” Some people are just flaming assholes, I guess…
Julia
*I presume the author believes we have one.
Chuggo
June 15, 2006 at 5:59 pm
21Whaa! I was gone several days, and when I get back and review the last couple entries, I see a bunch of references to the great Firesign Theatre, and I can’t jump in and make some cute comment to show I was a big fan, cause I’m too late.
But I was in DC, and I did see the Shoe. It moved east down the Mall on Tuesday, and right now is above the Folklore tents that are being put up for the festival that’s going on the end of this month. It could possibly squish Mitch and Mickey, or the Folksmen, if they are not careful.
It’s a very clean black Keds hightop, by the way.
cooper
June 15, 2006 at 6:15 pm
22chuggo, isn’t it amazing how rumors work? I heard it was one of the last Chuck Taylors (red, of course) made in Lumberton, NC - before they closed the factory and moved to China.
siobhan
June 15, 2006 at 7:04 pm
23… and now Bill Gates announces he’s stepping down to spend more time working with his foundation?
What is happening with the stars alignment today?? I’m buying a lottery ticket on the way home, that’s for sure.
David
June 15, 2006 at 10:19 pm
24siobhan,
I wasn’t thinking. You are right - it is a regurgitatious image.
Julia,
Overdue to get that book (the Carter book, not the flaming assholery of the shit-for-brains scalp-to-glutes large intestine with a publisher).
"Bottles"
June 16, 2006 at 7:42 am
25Oh, Chuggo. I’ll always think of you as one of my dearest and sweetest fans. SWAK!
Mary
June 16, 2006 at 10:36 am
26Speaking of shit for brains………….
Anyone see the “Time” cartoon where the guy is in a vet’s office and says-
“Could you check my pitbull for rabies? He was bitten by Ann Coulter.”
Chuggo
June 16, 2006 at 12:02 pm
27Geez Mary, are you referring to me?
Ok, here’s my Firesign reference for the Shrub and his trip this week:
Oh how can you be…in two places at once….when you’re not anywhere at all… ba dum be dum…..
David
June 16, 2006 at 5:33 pm
28Oooh, Mary, that’s good. I missed it. Thanks for the apprisal.
Kip W
June 21, 2006 at 12:57 pm
29Now if only someone could tell me why I keep hearing The Liberty Bell March in the background.