Washington, Tuesday (F.A. wire) - In commanding fashion, top-seeded President George W. Bush upended Chief of Staff Andrew Card (9) to advance to the Final Four. Bush joins favorites Dick Cheney (1), Donald Rumsfeld (1), and fan darling Condoleezza Rice (5) in what promises to be a stirring climax to what has already been a tumultuous five-year tournament.
Bush will next face Rumsfeld, who is somewhat hampered by injuries sustained over the past few rounds. “Given that, it’s hard to see anything preventing the anticipated Bush-Cheney final,” said Karl Rove, second-ranked in the Georgetown bracket until a torn achilles tendon forced him to withdraw after reaching the Sweet 16 in dominating fashion. “As for the possibility of a Condi upset, I just don’t see it. Expect her to bow out, perhaps in preparation for next season’s campaign.” Ms. Rice has been a fan favorite since her unexpected upending of Colin Powell (1) two rounds previously.
Still, it’s not a slam-dunk for Bush, who is somewhat banged up himself. Though he had more than enough in the tank when it came to dark horse Card, the top-seeded Bush has seen lower scores and lower margins in recent rounds, and his once unimpeachable credentials seem to have tarnished a bit. “I think he’ll hold it together against Rumsfeld,” said a Bush coach on the condition of anonymity. “But only because Rummy put everything on the line to get here and he’d basically need a miracle to turn things around.” Bush was a 5-2 favorite in Las Vegas last night.
Still, there’s no telling if these predictions will hold up in the Final Four. “It’s March Madness,” said another anonymous athlete, from an undisclosed location. “Anything can happen.”
Fanny Roborat
60 comments
Emmarie
March 29, 2006 at 5:57 pm
1Adam, I think that’s “once impeachable”, not one. Though you did get me to wondering what that one might have been.
I wonder also who else was in this tournament. Hm…
Sharon
March 29, 2006 at 6:25 pm
2“anomynity” ?
Stephen
March 29, 2006 at 6:34 pm
3Does Cheney get to use his gun? If so the fans better watch out!
Adam Felber
March 29, 2006 at 7:02 pm
4I thank you all for your proof-reading prowess.
Dave
March 29, 2006 at 7:05 pm
5democrats.org did something similar. I like their brackets system.
http://www.democrats.org/a/2006/03/the_filthy_four_1.php
Chuggo
March 29, 2006 at 7:09 pm
6My money is still on Condi. She wasn’t even seeded five years ago when Shrub picked her out of the clamoring throng. However, you have to admit DICK is the dark horse in this tournament. A very dark horse.
tim
March 29, 2006 at 7:28 pm
7I did something similar in 2003. Of course, mine sucked. As I always say with my blog, you get what you pay for.
Ann
March 29, 2006 at 8:24 pm
8Sports analogies. Feh.
Doesn’t anyone want to reminisce about their draft lottery numbers from back in the day? Or maybe I can explain dangling participles for you…
SeattleDan
March 29, 2006 at 8:39 pm
9I hear that if Condi loses,she’s a shoo-in for the new NFL commish.
Mary
March 29, 2006 at 9:49 pm
10Considering the problems in Iraqi, shouldn’t that be “Marching Madness”?
Nick
March 29, 2006 at 11:44 pm
11I rarely post here, but I thought I’d point out that it’s Dr. Rice, not Ms. Rice. I’m not a big fan of hers, but I am a big fan of providing academic professionals who have achieved their highest rank the proper honorific.
becca (& brian)
March 30, 2006 at 7:43 am
12An off-topic comment (for which I apologize, but I have been trying to send the occasional update as we trek across Asia)
Last time we were surrounded by orange-robed monks checking email in an internet cafe in Laos, today we are surrounded by purple/red clad monks playing Doom and FIFA 2005. It makes quite the image…
We are currently in Xiahe, China, in the Gansu province. Xiahe is home to the Labrang Monestary, the most important Tibetan monestary outside of Tibet. It’s been wonderful to see all the colorful clothing and different ethnicities after the monochromatic sameness in much of mainland China. And despite the thin air up here at almost 10,000 feet, it’s nice to be able to breathe again.
We have spent so much of our time in China coughing and hacking, eyes burning and watering, and nose blowing out black mucus. The pollution here is just beyond belief. It is just unbelievable (and tragic) that people live in this day in and day out. (And I realize it’s like this in many parts of the world).
I have always been a supporter of environmental protection and believed it was important, but it kind of a vague way, like motherhood and apple pie. I would support it legislatively and be willing to pay more taxes for it, but I have never led the charge (or even really been part of the charge for it).
I guess growing up in a place where standards are in place (especially growing up in the PNW) it was easy to treat the issue of environmental protection as academic. Now that we have experienced first-hand what the world is like without those protections, I think we will return home fervantly committed to the cause.
Becca
It did lead to a funny anecdote though. Datong, a low-grade (high sulpher) coal producing town (but also home base for the spectacular Yungang Caves and Hanging Monestary), was one of the most air-polluted places we’ve ever been. After checking into our hotel room and finding it heavy with cigarette smoke, we debated whether it was better to open the window to try and air the cigarette smoke out or keep the window closed to try and keep the coal dust out.
David
March 30, 2006 at 11:16 am
13becca,
I have a nephew who lives in Hong Kong and has business dealings on the mainland. His description of the air pollution mirrors yours. Globalization really is turning out to be a race to the bottom in all its ugly, destructive manifestations, now in warp drive under Team Bush and WalMart.
jerry-the-conservatroll
March 30, 2006 at 11:40 am
14Back in the bowels of our evil lair it’s being rumored that Card left because he wanted Treasury and didn’t get it so he’s going back to Massachusetts to either 1) work with Mitt Romney’s campaign or 2) run against Teddy for Senate.
Possible turn-around from here is Our Dark Lord Rove going to the RNC to run the fall campaigns and Proconsul Mehlman either retiring to his estates or moving into El Jefe’s administration as Deputy Chief of Staff. Our Most Glorified One, Master of the Shotgun retires for “health reasons” and the Chosen One, Mistress Rice is nominated to sit at Jefe’s right hand.
We now enter the period in 2008 known as Mortal Combat with two great champions. One is a master of Triangulation Kung Fu, the Way of Moving-To-Get-Elected, and Raking-in-the-Money-from-Celebrities Magic. The other has mastered the Playing-Concert-Piano-while-Killing-with-Covert-Forces technique, Never-Bluff-when-Threatening-to-Invade Kung Fu, and is able to cower even the Dreaded and Feared Rumsfeld with but a single look.
Let the Games Begin!
dee
March 30, 2006 at 2:28 pm
15Ooooh Jerry — I’ve gotta load up on popcorn for this!!!
waterfowler
March 30, 2006 at 7:41 pm
16David,
I think by “cause”, surely becca meant capitalism. Welcome to the cause becca. If you come up w/ the cleanest cheapest fuel, power, gadget or gizmo, you win! Good Luck.
Do y’all still think we should sign on to Kyoto while China and India are exempt? @ least I can breathe, and I’m in East Tree Stump.
Ann
March 30, 2006 at 9:33 pm
17Lobster, no! Why should we try to meet a higher standard than China and India do?
Nice how you conflate “cleanest” with “cheapest,” as if there’s a relationship.
ice weasel
March 30, 2006 at 10:56 pm
18Seriously, the grammar thing, I don’t get it. Well, obviously I don’t get it but I mean, what’s with finding the typos?
Anyway, I had an epiphany about this place. I’ll share it later (with those who care, both of you).
Oh, and while I’m kvetching in overdrive, “Dr. Rice”? Sure it is. But I don’t call that other thing occupying the office “Mr. President”. Sorry, that’s a title you actually have to earn. Merely ascending to office isn’t enough. And given Condi’s record, I think “Ms. Rice” is pretty darn respectable. What has she gotten right since she’s been working on our dime?
Yeah, that’s what I thought.
David
March 31, 2006 at 12:30 am
19Waterfowler,
I was wondering about your take on the beef penis casserole (you have to click onto the link becca provided) being served alongside the southwestern Swedish meatballs, or mountain oysters, at a southwestern pot luck dinner, since she questions whether it could be served at a Minnesota pot luck dinner(cf. The News from Lake Woebegone).
Devotion to the quarterly bottom line in a restriction-free setting, externalities be damned, seems to me to be becca’s basic concern. That’s what my nephew, who is very much a capitalist, sees being played out in transformational China.
siobhan
March 31, 2006 at 12:42 am
20Dr. Weasel, is this place like a friendly neighborhood bar? (or pub, depending on your locale… a Fosters for that guy with the video machine, please!) That’s kinda how I see it. A place you come to when you’re looking for some discussion; you might agree with the other person or not, but at least it’s interesting. Every now and then a belligerent loudmouth wanders in and annoys everyone. Sometimes you can sit there quietly and just listen to the others; that’s fun too.
I haven’t really gone to bars for many years now, but was lucky to have my early 20s take place within walking distance of North Beach in SF.
waterfowler
March 31, 2006 at 2:22 am
21Ann, Isn’t it blatantly obvious that we meet a “higher standard” than anywhere else? We’re doing things right here for the most part, and when we don’t, we develop the technology to clean it up, for the most part. We’re decades ahead of the rest of the world. We’re not perfect or pristine (unless you’ve been to Alaska), but nobody can keep the worlds’ environment cleaner than “U.S.”
Y’all’s hatred of “W” must be blinding. Occasionally, the “U.S.” deserves some credit.
Otherwise, spend a little time in Datong w/ becca and brian.
P.S. Y’all have a great journey.
Sharon
March 31, 2006 at 8:54 am
22You’re absolutely right, wf, the air is much cleaner here that it is in China, no thanks whatsoever to the Neocons who are gutting the environmental protections that have been put in place by Liberals over the last 40 or 50 years. When those protections have all been eliminated, how long do you think it will take before our air and water as just as polluted as they were back when Lake Erie used to catch fire?
Sharon
March 31, 2006 at 9:40 am
23Beg pardon. I think it was the Cuyahoga River, which feeds into Lake Erie, not the Lake itself.
siobhan
March 31, 2006 at 11:06 am
24Fowler - though I usually bristle when red-staters talk about us lefties hating Bush, issues of the environment bring me close to that point. Hating him implies revulsion at him personally. In matters of the war, the economy, pandering to the religious right, etc., I think he’s misguided and incompetent, but it’s not a personal thing.
For some reason, his utter disregard for the environment angers me on a different level. It has often been said about his political background that he was born on third base and thought he’d hit a triple. As Sharon noted, it’s ridiculous to credit this administration for the benefits that have come from decades of work done by others. But I’ll add that it’s not just liberals who did that hard work - plenty of conservatives lived up to that name and worked on behalf of environmental protections.
The environment seems like one area where the right and left should be able to find common ground. That, and maybe the national debt… we’re leaving an immense mess for the coming generations to deal with. But the debt is only money - environmental destruction strikes at our very ability to sustain life. Those of you in drought areas, losing crops and livestock can surely relate.
So the closest I ever come to actually hating the guy is when I think about how he refuses to lead in the smart direction on this issue. Even if you don’t buy the idea that it’s a moral issue - destroying your children’s future - it’s also an economic issue. It’s clear that we need to develop energy technologies to sustain us after the oil, gas and coal runs out. Letting other countries take the lead so that we don’t upset Cheney’s base is stupid.
As bad as the war is, when history looks back at W and declares him the worst president ever, I believe it will be because of the environment.
Mary
March 31, 2006 at 11:11 am
25It was the Cuyahoga, not Lake Erie. Erie is actually cleaner than it used to be. Joke was, we could walk across it it was so polluted. But now the fish are back- at least until the Great Lakes are drained and/or polluted up again. I suspect Harper is much like Shrub when it comes to the environment.
Oh, and I’ll have another Guiness. Thanks.
Stephen
March 31, 2006 at 11:21 am
26I think before we pat ourselves on the back to hard we should consider the field we are competing with. Not much pride in being the first in a group of losers. Shouldn’t we look at what we could be doing and see how we measure up?
By the way Alaska won’t stay to “pristine” if the current adminsitration gets to drill in ANWR.
Mary/Siobhan
I don’t drink, can I still play?:)
siobhan
March 31, 2006 at 11:32 am
27Stephen, of course you can play. That’s why Calistoga with lime exists.
BTW, in my previous rant, I said that we should be focussing on alternative energy for economic reasons if nothing else. That’s true, but more in line with the subject of the environment: India and China will probably want to clean up their air and water as they become more financially secure. Wouldn’t it be nice for the balance of trade if we had something we could sell them, rather than letting them develop technologies to sell to us?
Sharon
March 31, 2006 at 11:56 am
28All human beings need and are entitled to have clean air to breathe and clean water to drink. Back in the day, the air and the water were considered part of the “Commons,” that part of Nature which no one individual or corporation can or should have absolute control over. Up here in the Blue States, there are still some people who understand this.
ice weasel
March 31, 2006 at 12:10 pm
29As usual, someone barfs up something like, “Hey you bush haters, are you ever right about anything?”. This time it’s our waterlogged friend.
Fouler, decades ahead of whom? Last time I checked, the levees in Holland held through their huge storm. Our? Not so much. If I look outside at the fuel efficient and environmentally friendlier than most vehicle sitting there (here comes the smug cloud) I don’t see Ford, or Chevy or something else “American” on the nameplate. Last I heard, those designed in American, built in Mexico cars were year away from anything. And then we come to the scorcher, civil rights. It’s “Blatantly obvious” that rendition is better than say, torturing people in some offshore, quasi-American site, right? Once again, the bar of our collective prowess scrapes the ground.
And you know what, it’s that bushite hubris, that ignorant arrogance that assumes things that’s really irritating. The idea that when one is critical of their nation, hoping to improve it, it’s somehow less patriotic than the belching fool in the sticks who says, “kiss my flag or leave”. I wonder which person is actually responsible for trying to be a better nation and which one simply wants to claim to be better than the very worst?
I wonder.
I guess with those end times a’comin’, stewardship ain’t so important.
And please, let’s not even talk about our national debt, our military, jobs, health care and all those other petty things that some folks like to gloss over.
Hey look! An illegal immigrant!
(Thus ends another installment of Short Attention Span Theater)
Sharon
March 31, 2006 at 12:17 pm
30Yep, Jesus is going to come Real Soon and restore the mountain tops that we have torn off to mine the coal, clean up the water that we have polluted, and replenish the forests that we have destroyed. Maybe he’ll even bring back the dodo and the passenger pigeon and the bison. We don’t have to lift a finger. Or better yet, we can hasten his return by accelerating the destruction.
waterfowler
March 31, 2006 at 12:58 pm
31I harvested a bison this past fall. I didn’t realize it was the last one. Oops, My bad.
Sharon
March 31, 2006 at 1:00 pm
32And why do you suppose that there are any bison left? Divine intervention?
Stephen
March 31, 2006 at 1:05 pm
33Well, for those of us who do believe (or profess to believe) in a return of Christ, I should emphasize a little thing I like to call (say it with me) ACOUNTABILITY. It is my belief that He expects us to be not just stewards, but GOOD stewards of the place we live. Not to hard to understand why, after all I expect my kids to keep their rooms clean. Same principal, really.
Sharon
March 31, 2006 at 1:10 pm
34Stephen, you are obviously a different kind of Christian than the ones who have seized control of this country.
Nathan
March 31, 2006 at 2:50 pm
35There’s actually a pretty strong Christian movement to provide good stewardship of the earth. I’m trying to remember the name of the organization (Council of Evangelicals?), but the focus on this life, or at least the environment in this life, is starting to be almost as important as focusing on the next life. I just wish those evangelicals would provide some environmental influence over us LDS, ’cause I feel like an outcast in every ward I’ve been in when it comes to things like the environment. Or tolerance (nothing quite like listening to semi-coherent rants against “them queers” in Elders’ Quorum).
(Ugh, I’m stuck in Suckass, er, Secaucus, NJ for another week.)
Ann
March 31, 2006 at 2:58 pm
36WF, don’t be an ass. YOU mentioned China and India as a comparison, not I, and then tried to bait and switch when I called you on it.
And then you utter a perfect non sequitur:
“Y’all’s hatred of ‘W’ must be blinding. Occasionally, the ‘U.S.’ deserves some credit.”
Believe me, “we all” don’t have any trouble separating our opinion of Dubya from our views about the U.S. To the contrary, it’s the lockstep Republicans who keep treating them as identical. We’ve endured years of being told that we’re traitors because we don’t support the president! It certainly would be refreshing to have a prominent Republican repudiate that slur.
Sharon
March 31, 2006 at 3:17 pm
37Or, as the neocons used to say when there was a Democrat in the White House, “Love my country, fear my government.”
Now I’m really beginning to wonder whether wf is really a Texan. Everyone knows that “y’all” is singular. The plural is “all y’all.”
Stephen
March 31, 2006 at 3:33 pm
38I thought it was y’nse? How do you spell that word.
Nathan,
It is amazing how peopele can read the same books and not get it, isn’t it? I have never meant anyone who didn’t think we had an obligation to the environment, but I do see some of the inability to “hate the sin, love the sinner.” Funny, when it seems like all Pres. Hinckley ever says is be nice to the people around you. Luckily, as Elder Quorum Pres. I get to cut off the rants if they do start, but I haven’t heard many since I moved from UT.
cooper
March 31, 2006 at 7:40 pm
39So good to be back in civilization again. I was on the right coast this last week, and took a rather old laptop (Windows 95 with dial-up). All the erudite, pithy, and hilarious observations I sent were Hashcashed, wadded up and stomped on. It was like being in a soundproof booth.
Waterfowler, don’t be a butthead! No particular reason; I just like to say that and it’s been a while. Oh yeah, and what Ann said. Your buddy, Mr. DeLay, may be illegally immigrating to points south soon. Be sure to give a wave of the Stetson as he drives by.
Siobhan
March 31, 2006 at 8:07 pm
40you’uns?
you’ns?
Surely there’s an editor in the house.
David
March 31, 2006 at 10:15 pm
41It’s you’uns down this way. I heard it most often when the mother of a childhood friend from Tennessee was shooing us out of the house.
Fowler,
The point regarding bison is that the extant ones are a miniscule representation of their former selves, rather like the Native Americans, the former having been slaughtered wholesale to hasten the demise of the latter, all set against the torching of the prairie grasses.
Innkeeper,
I’ll have a Tetley’s, the English Ale with the widget in the can. Smooth and creamy, as they say, Yorkshire’s finest pub ale, and a favorite here in my outpost on the edge of the Green Swamp.
Cooper,
I feel your Hashcash pain. Any time I rework a commentary before posting it, I get Hashcashed. I learned to cut (ctrl c) before posting, then hit back a couple of times (comment comes up on first hit, but it will still trigger Hashcash rejection) until I’m back to square one, have to click on comments, reenter name and e-mail address, and paste (ctrl v). Then my comment gets accepted. I’ll probably have to do the drill on this post.
David
March 31, 2006 at 10:16 pm
42Damn,
It took the first try.
Jay
March 31, 2006 at 11:08 pm
43Stephan and Siobhan
y’nse takes me back to my Pittsburgh days. y’nse (a fairly close phonetic spelling of how it was actually pronounced) was our equivalent of y’all or you guys. As in y’nse better red up the hass and fill the beer fridge, we’re having a party tonight.
Jay
cooper
March 31, 2006 at 11:33 pm
44David, ain’t life in this electronic age strange? Thanks for the tip. Hope all is well.
Adam, so we don’t forget who’s been in the game the longest -
http://www.gwu.edu/~nsarchiv/NSAEBB/NSAEBB82/press.htm
David
April 1, 2006 at 12:20 am
45Jay,
Love the “red up the house.” Haven’t heard that in quite a long time. I sort of remember the y’nse pronunciation by another friend’s mother, maybe the family from York, Pa. Memory is a bit foggy on that one. You’uns is the less clipped Southern pronunciation I heard most commonly.
cooper,
Yeah, I still love the picture of the duck with the sledge hammmer and the caption “To proceed, hit any key.” We’re hanging in there down here on the edge of the Green Swamp, mossy Bigfoot and all. I personally think it’s a 15 or 16 foot gator that has learned how to go semi-bipedal, possibly from watching the Gator mascot at the basketball games and thinking, “Hell, I can do that.”
I guess when we beat George Mason (you’ve gotta love those guys, especially since George Mason is the one who refused to sign until the Bill of Rights was added, really pissing off George Washington), we’ll be national pariahs. Gators have always been misunderstood, so it’ll be nothing new.
Another Tetley’s, Innkeeper.
cooper
April 1, 2006 at 8:53 am
46Oh, I understand Gators - swim, kill, consume, sleep, swim, kill…
waterfowler
April 1, 2006 at 10:17 am
47Sharon, I guess you’ve been gone too long.
Coop & Ann, No ice cream for y’all.
Sharon
April 1, 2006 at 10:51 am
48According to Kinky Friedman, “all y’all” is still the plural.
Murray
April 1, 2006 at 12:33 pm
49Great thing about redneck spelling is that there is no such thing as spelt rong.
David, my experience is that Hash Cash doesn’t like it if you to leave the page open too long. If you spend your time reading, composing, spell checking etc, by the time you hit reply, it bounces you. I (almost) always cut my comment, drop it into Word, spell-check, and drop it back into the box. If HC rejects it, I refresh the page, drop it back in the box and go from there. I’ve never been rejected at that point.
WF, (this has the feel of arguing with school kids, ‘cause their agenda is to screw with you and not to exchange and benefit from new ideas).
If you think that we are the best at protecting the environment, you haven’t been to the Netherlands or Denmark lately. These are countries that have based their economies on green technologies, energy savings, alternate energies etc. They leave us in the dust. OBTW, Brazil is now energy independent using sugar cane to produce ethanol. Our complete addiction to oil puts us in an unbelievable disadvantage when it comes to national security and the middle east. Our economy would crash if we really pissed off Saudi Arabia, Iran, etc.
David
April 1, 2006 at 2:23 pm
50Cooper,
And shake the ground with their spring mating roars, which you both hear and FEEL. Today, patriots are on the menu. And if the prognosticators are right, Bayou Bengals are on Monday’s dinner menu. Can’t remember the last time a Tiger took down a Gator. Ditto Bruins. Gators eat everyone’s young, including their own - at least the males do. ‘Course, we’re actually contemporary dinosaurs with tiny brains and big-assed muscles. Longhorn steak would have been nice.
OK, I’m going to abandon this line of commentary now.
hedera
April 1, 2006 at 8:26 pm
51Murray, from what I’ve read, Brazil’s sugarcane based ethanol is a lot cheaper than our corn based ethanol, too…
David
April 2, 2006 at 1:52 am
52Are they still using their ethanol to propel VW Beetles?
Meanwhile, Prime Rib of Bruin for dinner Monday for my Gourmand Gators.
Ann
April 2, 2006 at 9:44 pm
53I understand that there’s a raging controversy about whether the total energy needed to produce ethanol from grain is more or less than the energy content of ethanol. At least Wikipedia says it’s a current controversy.
Not that I want to get an argument started here…
Murray
April 3, 2006 at 10:50 am
54Ann, it certainly was a while back. But as I understand, the new technologies are able to convert the starch and cellulose into sugar, making it much more efficient. The Brazilians use the spent stalks as fuel to run the distillers. Brazil made a choice back in the 70s or 80s to switch the entire country to ethanol and they have achieved it. THEY are no longer in the grip of any foreign country that sells oil.
hedera
April 3, 2006 at 1:05 pm
55And I believe they’re now making their own Beetles and not importing VWs from Germany any more…
David
April 3, 2006 at 11:57 pm
56Oh-My-Goodness.
David the Green Swamp Rabid Gator.
Stephen
April 4, 2006 at 10:40 am
57David,
Congrats to you Gators. I’m sure my uncle down there is still celebrating. Just wish it could have been more of a game.
David
April 4, 2006 at 4:12 pm
58Stephen,
Thanks. While I thought we would win, I thought the line of 1 point was reasonable. I thought we’d win by about 4 points. I had no idea we would dominate them. Neither did they, I guess.
If we make it back next year, it won’t be such an easy victory. ESPN prognosticators seem to think North Carolina and Florida will be the top 2 teams. Yo, Cooper. What do you think?
David
April 7, 2006 at 10:49 pm
59Final 2006 Gator Basketball Note:
All of the super sophomores announced tonight they are coming back next year. If you’re a Gator, this is second only to a Democrat winning the Presidency.
johny
April 16, 2006 at 8:09 am
60FICO scores and its variants are designed to measure the risk of default, by taking into account various factors