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[… in which a funnyman gets unfunny about the funnies. Warning: This post will offend you. I’m not kidding. It will. It’s supposed to. You’ve been warned.]
[Update: I re-read this post, and I have to say that I find it deeply offensive, and my apologies for that. […]

From http://www.whitehouse.gov/stateoftheunion/2006/index.html:
Breakthroughs on this and other new technologies will help us reach another great goal: to replace more than 75 percent of our oil imports from the Middle East by 2025. (Applause.)
From Newsday:

There’s only one problem: Even Bush’s own advisers admitted yesterday there’s no way to know if his plan would really […]