To think that I thought that this story would go away after a few rounds of latenight show jokes. How naive I was back in the heady days of February 10-12, 2006. And now, with the news that Vice President Cheney’s boon companion has suffered a “minor heart attack” as a result of that shot he’d been “peppered” with kinda… sorta…. well… hitting him in the heart, it’s time we found some clarity on what promises to be a bigger story that a bunch of rich people playing in the snow in Italy…
Whose Distraction Is It, Anyway?
Immediately after this story gained traction, you heard political sharpshooters decrying this as a “distraction” from more important news. That’s common. What’s uncommon (as you can even see in my comments section) is that these accusations are coming from both sides.
Nobody’s really sure whether the Republicans are dwelling on this because it’s a distraction from bad news concerning Iraq, Iran, and recent reports about Hurricane Katrina ineptitude… or if it’s the Democrats who are using the liberal media to focus on this trivial story to make the administration look bad.
Me, I think this might be a big story because the Vice President of the United States shot someone in the face. And in the heart. But I am, as I’ve said, naive.
What Does It Mean?
I really don’t think this story has a lot of meaning, except symbolically. But beyond that and a noticeable windfall for us comedy writers…. it’s an ultimately unimportant story. Unless your last name is “Whittington.”
Then again, a few years ago I would’ve told you that President Clinton having an affair with a pudgy intern was an “ultimately unimportant story.” Today we know that receiving an extramarital blowjob is an offense that easily outweighs little indiscretions like… sending more than 2,000 American soldiers to their death under false pretenses. Again - I’m not always “savvy.” So maybe this really is a big story.
Why the Delay?
This one’s easy. Sure, liberals are running around and yelling about the long delay between Cheney shooting his friend and anyone telling the press about it. Why the delay?
Offhand, I’d say it might have something to do with the fact that the Vice President of the United States shot someone in the face. And in the heart. That’s not a particularly easy story to spin.
You have to applaud the White House for the way they handled it, though. First, they made sure that Whittington was out of danger before they announced it. [Yeah, I know, but they couldn’t have foreseen the heart attack.] Then, they made sure they framed the story in such a way that it was completely Whittington’s fault that he got shot in the face. And in the heart:
She said Cheney, an experienced hunter, did not realize Whittington had rejoined the group without announcing himself, which is proper protocol among hunters.
“They had no idea he was there,” Armstrong said.
“A bird flew up, the vice president followed it through around to his right and shot, and unfortunately, unbeknownst to anybody, Harry was there…”
…She described Cheney as “an excellent, conscientious shot.”
“The person who is not doing the shooting at that moment in time is just as responsible and, should be, as the person actually shooting,” Armstrong said.
There you have it. A 78 year-old man nimbly snuck up on the hunting party while camouflaged in a bright orange vest. Though it wasn’t reported, he was probably also making quail noises and hovering a few meters above the ground. And there’s evidence to indicate that a rascally quail had ripped down the “Quail Season” poster to reveal one beneath reading “Harry Season.”
So…?
This isn’t over. Yesterday, the White House adopted a strategy of making a lot of jokes about the incident. That strategy ended a few hours ago when Whittington had his heart attack, meaning that only insensitive scoundrels like myself are willing to joke about it. [Naive guy that I am, I’m choosing to believe the reports that the heart attack was “minor,” and that Whittington will recover…]
So what now? We wait. And watch. I wish Whittington well, both for the sake of him, and his family, and all my friends who write for latenight television. Remember the old maxim: The Vice President accidentally shooting a guy is comedy. The Vice President accidentally getting a guy killed… is an unfortunate result of using the “best available intelligence.” Or something to that effect.





143 comments
Right Wing Ninny (Dan)
February 14, 2006 at 4:18 pm
1Maybe this is a test run of a new reality show where politicians go off into the bushes (pardon the pun) and shoot off (again pardon) their guns (very many pardons) until they finally take out an attorney that someone actually cares about. As most of our politicians are lawyers, we may be well on the way to a more rational government.
Reverend Dane
February 14, 2006 at 4:33 pm
2While I agree that this incident is a distraction from more important matters, (not to be callous, but the world could do with out more lawyers) this is proof positive that the current administration believes that they are above the law.
I don’t care what state you are in; you shoot somebody accidentally and you are obligated to report it to the authorities. If you don’t, you’re a fleeing felon. Not only that, but a fleeing felon leaving the state that the crime was committed in makes it a case for the FBI since interstate borders have been crossed. But that is the law for the rest of us; who knows what applies anymore to Washingtonians?
But I guess that is my naivete; thinking that the leopards of all the lies that have been piled up would change their spots. Oh yeah, they were hunting bird fowl.
Marcus
February 14, 2006 at 4:49 pm
3I give you:
http://scienceblogs.com/pharyngula/2006/02/these_guys_at_the_top_are_d esp.php
Stephen
February 14, 2006 at 5:20 pm
4You know, this is really 6 year old ethics. If you do something wrong; spill the milk, break a plate, put a baseball through a window, shot your hunting partner, whatever… you tell the people responsible and you try to make it right. What would your parents tell you if they found out a day later that it was you that put a baseball through the neighbor’s window? Personally, there would have been a swat involved as well as a serious raiding of my savings account to pay for the window. At least Cheney had the good grace to call when he found out his buddy had the heart attack. I wonder who is paying for the hospital stay. Did the ranch have insurance?
This is another example of trying to hide something making you look worse. Wire tapping, misrepresenting intelligence, leaking classified information, and now shooting someone. I’m fairly sure if Cheney had done everything by the book, reporting to the correct authorities etc., the story never would have blown up to this point.
WF- What is your take on canned hunts. According to the article link above, they shot like 400 birds? Doesn’t that drive you nuts?
cooper
February 14, 2006 at 5:52 pm
5“After watching part of the briefing on Whittington’s condition, Cheney called Whittington and spoke to him, telling him “that he stood ready to assist,”
Hmmm… what’s Cheney thinking he’s going to do to assist - volunteer to have Whittington’s next heart attack for him? My fervant hope is that Mr. Whittington, being the good lawyer that he is, will be charging Cheney $775.00/hour while he’s laying in the hospital and during the following months of his recovery.
Sharon
February 14, 2006 at 6:36 pm
6The Yahoo News story refers to both Armstrong and Whittington as a “Republican stalwart”. Do those two words always have to go together now? And again with the “peppered.” That’s something you do to a steak, not to a person.
Pete IVDL
February 14, 2006 at 7:16 pm
7I did think for a moment when the original story broke that they were speaking about Dan Quayle. But Adam’s taken care of that in his title.
So, what actually happened in the day it took for the news to be broken by [not the Whitehouse]? Was Cheney slithering back to his bunker? While the press corpse were figuring out the “hand in the cookie jar” defense to pin the blame on Whittington?
I have to say, hearing the “it was the fault of Harry’s to be where the VP was shooting” defense is eerily similar to the “but officer, he fell on my knife… seventeen times” defense.
I’m starting to agree with Maximum Bob. The words “tissue match” have a bit too much meaning here. I wonder (if the unfortunate quail-mimicking representative of the bird species harrius whittingtonius does unfortunately pop his clogs) if Mr Whittington’s remains will be cremated? Start looking for much hairier arms on Cheney, is all I’m saying…
Auros
February 14, 2006 at 7:17 pm
8If Whittington dies, do you think they’ll impeach Cheney for negligent homicide?
Sharon
February 14, 2006 at 7:25 pm
9Impeach, no, but I think it will be the perfect opportunity for him to resign.
cooper
February 14, 2006 at 7:28 pm
10But Auros, who would run the country then?
ice weasel
February 14, 2006 at 7:32 pm
11Thousands of Americans have been and are being killed and maimed in the middle east and I’m supposed to muster empathy for Harry Whittington? Fuck him. Chances are, he’ll survive and chances are he won’t be charged for his meals in the hospital, unlike those same troops in the middle east.
Sorry, one republican shoots another one in the midst of some kind of bizarre, roman orgy of bird slaughter and I’m supposed to be concerned? Hell, the only thing I’m wondering about is how they escaped with only one injury and no fatalities.
Make no mistake, Whittington was one reason that bush-cheney got into office. If this is some kind of karmic balancing taking place, it’s beyond my power to meddle with. I only call them as I sees them.
And finally, I know hunters, good, skilled, principled hunters who haven’t shot 400 birds in their entire lives in the field and these aged, obese motherfuckers are out smoking hundreds of animals in a single afternoon? Don’t mistake what I’m saying as sentiment. It isn’t. I’m just appalled at the scale of their decadence. It’s truly mind numbing. It outstrips Mel Brooks jokes about royalty (PULL!).
So while I hope Mr. Whittington recovers and gets to live a long (well, more than his aleady achieved 78 years) life helping to elect abject criminals, I can’t say, emotionally, it will impact me in the slightest if he doesn’t.
Harsh? Sure it is. Welcome to it.
Sharon
February 14, 2006 at 8:09 pm
12According to Molly Ivins, Whittington is one of the more liberal of Texas Republicans. In particular he tried to do something about the enormous amounts of money that Texas spends on prisons and prisoners–vastly more per prisoner than per public school pupil. Maybe this was a warning shot to other liberal Republicans–see what heppens when you cross us.
ice weasel, I hear where you’re coming from. I think the story is so captivating because it captures so perfectly in microcosm the whole sorry history of this regime. It’s a metaphor come to life. Here we’ve got a guy who’s had 5 deferrments, 4 heart attacks, two DWIs, who told a Senator to go fuck himself, who thought that Iraq would be a cakewalk–he goes out “hunting” a bunch of farm-raised quails that can barely fly and that probably think the hunters are coming over to feed them, he disregards the primary rules of hunting, his first call after the accident is not to the EMTs but to Karl Rove, he keeps the police away for 24 hours, he downplays the whole incident (notice how *every* news outlet uses the same words, “peppered” and “sprayed”, to describe the shooting) and he tries to blame the victim.
Replace just a few words here and there, and it’s very nearly the story of George and Dick’s Excellent Adventure in [non]Governing. I’ll bet Rove and his spinmeisters haven’t had a wink of sleep since Saturday. No amount of hand-waving can make this one go away.
cooper
February 14, 2006 at 8:17 pm
13An interesting story from Time on how Cheney throttled the news about his hunting accident -
http://www.time.com/time/nation/article/0,8599,1159347,00.html?CNN=yes
Murray
February 14, 2006 at 9:48 pm
14How do these guys get away with this crap?
Why does America allow such colossal incompetence and arrogance?
Siobhan
February 14, 2006 at 10:39 pm
15I kinda like Keith Knight’s take on it in the “K Chronicles”….
cooper
February 14, 2006 at 11:10 pm
16This Mr. Whittington’s injuries must have been much more serious than we originally thought. According to Scott McClellan, the number one concern of the hunting party and the Secret Service was to make sure that Mr. Whittington’s medical needs were addressed. I guess each one in the group took two holes and applied pressure to stop the bleeding. Perhaps some of the offending shot also ricocheted off an inopportunely placed rock and punctured the many radiators in the vehicles present. So they made a litter and carried him out over 35 miles of Texas scrub, applying pressure the whole time, and stopping to check for a cell or satellite phone signal every hour or so. No wonder it took so long to get the word out. And aren’t we ashamed for doubting.
David
February 14, 2006 at 11:57 pm
17Siobahn,
Keith Knight’s got it right.
cooper,
I am soooooooooooooo ashamed.
Murray,
It’s gotta be something in the water. It sure as hell doesn’t make any sense on a rational level. That, or given what these bastards have inflicted on the whole planet, the devil made the voters do it.
ice weasel,
Actually, it is hard to argue with your point, especially since it is how I feel. Sadly (perversely?) Whittington is apparently a liberal (by Texas standards) Republican. Your “rant” also describes how I feel about John McCain, regardless of the things for which he does deserve some credit. The motherfucker was key to Bush’s re-election, as was Asshole Giuliani (he was recognized as an asshole before 9/11). The only people I can forgive are people who really weren’t in a position to know better, but I sure as hell blame the people who were, and instead of helping stop this criminally incompetent, deadly juggernaut, enabled it.
That hunting accident is emblematic of who and what Dick Cheney, who is in charge, really is. Damn their sorry eyes one and fucking all.
RRRRyan
February 15, 2006 at 12:27 am
18Marcus, did you like that article? So let me get this straight, it’s okay to shove a hundred head of cattle into a dirt pit of about 2000 square feet to live their whole life only to have a spear driven through their spinal cord, and don’t even talk about chicken farms, but if they stock premium acreage with game birds that would never survive wildly in such a quantity anyway it is immoral? I’ll leave the 3700 human babies killed everyday out of this.
I don’t hunt stocked farms because I’m not interested, but I really don’t think anyone but vegans can claim high ground if you take that route.
SeattleDan
February 15, 2006 at 12:43 am
19RRR, I dont think anyone here suggested that the practices of the American Meat Industry was good. Me, I only eat free range beef.
Murray,coop,David,Siobahn, I can only say that the anti-intellectual tradition in America runs deep and probably deserves a thread on it’s own.But,you know,us lefties, we been thinkin’ too much.
ice weasel
February 15, 2006 at 1:03 am
20Oh sweet, I knew sooner or later rrryan would dribble out something about abortion factories or baby murders. Thankfully, rrryan, you continue to be a cartoon.
Yes rrryan, a cartoon. Because only an animated character could compare the various elements you have, and mean it.
Elliott
February 15, 2006 at 1:05 am
21RRRRyan,
I suppose you are trying to make an argument with Marcus by comparing apples with quail (or even oranges). I don’t for a second suppose to make a difference with killing beef with what I eat for my supper but c’mon, those guys killed over 400 human friendly animals that day. That amount of killing is not shopping at the corner butcher it is more like shooting a herd hand fed cows for trophies.
I suppose that the 3700 human babies refer to abortions. I am always so happy to hear from MEN about the painful decision to abort a baby. Have you ever been a victin of rape? Have you ever had to go to an abusive father to tell him that you are pregnant? Have you ever been threatened by your husband? Have you ever been told by God the exact moment that a fetus becomes a child? Has the bible ever told when that time is? The doctrine of faith is not faith in God. Doctine is made by MAN. Your idea of religion has no role in this conversation.
SeattleDan
February 15, 2006 at 1:32 am
22And thanks, Siobhan,for the Keith Knight link.Seattletammy and I have passed it on.
Sharon
February 15, 2006 at 1:45 am
23I think the use of the word “accident” is just as misleding as the use of the word “theory” has been recently. Yes, it was an accident, in that no one is suggesting thatthe VP shot his friend, a “Republican stalwart,” deliberately and with malice aforethought. That being said, he is still responsible. A letter writer to the NYTimes sums it up:
“As a father who recently introduced my 12-year-old son to the sport of hunting, I would like to thank Dick Cheney for providing such a great example of what not to do while hunting.
“I sat my son down yesterday to review all the mistakes made by the vice president. First, I said, you are responsible that all required licenses and stamps be in order before you hunt. This is not the responsibility of anyone but you.
“Second, I told my son, the shooter is always responsible for where and what he shoots. It was not the fault of Dick Cheney’s hunting buddy that he was shot.
“Third, never shoot low birds. To hit his hunting buddy with birdshot at 30 yards, Dick Cheney was shooting flat and at shoulder height.
“Fourth, when bird hunting, always know the position of your hunting buddies. If your buddy is not in front of you, then assume that he is behind you.
“And fifth, always take responsibility for your actions. You shoot your hunting buddy: it is your fault, no matter what. “
Timmy
February 15, 2006 at 8:57 am
24Dear Mr. Water Fowler, my daddy just read me a story about how Mr. Bush is going to take the Bald Eagle off the Endangered Species list. I’m worried that hunters will soon start buyin them stamps for their huntin lie sense that they’ve been keepin in the special vault up in Washington, DC. Daddy says they was printed back in late 2000 after the new vice president took charge and they’ve been waiting for this moment ever since. He say peoples that has this stamp can shoot anything that moves (he says, “even sum PEOPLE”, but that can’t be right, can it?). He say to “these cretins a fuckin’ boid is a fuckin’ boid” and a Bald Eagle is just the wall dekoration they’ve been needin. I’m not sure I spelled everytin corectlly. I don’t know what some of those words mean, plus Daddy was steamed and not making purfek cents. Ples don’t shoot no Bald Eagles, Mr. Water Fowler, I’d like to sho my childuns them when they are my age.
Love, Timmy (7 years old today!)
RRRRyan
February 15, 2006 at 10:56 am
25Timmy, there is not a single bird of prey (eagles are birds of prey) that has ever or will ever be legal to hunt. Sounds like daddy is a Bush hating democrat who makes up stuff to keep the hate fires burning.
Siobhan
February 15, 2006 at 10:56 am
26RRRRyan, what some of us find offensive about canned hunts is that the participants call it “sport” when it’s not much more than a trip to Safeway, albeit with fresher meat.
“Timmy”, cheap shot (no pun intended) at WF. I disagree with him on a whole lotta stuff, but responsible duck hunters have been one of the major driving forces for habitat protection in this county. The most spectacular concentration of bald eagles I’ve seen was at the Klamath Basin in California, and they’re drawn to the waterfowl refuges there - paid for by duck hunters (and those of us birders who buy duck stamps). They understand that it’s crucial to protect the habitat so that the ducks have a place to go, and that benefits a lot of other wildlife. Contrast that with deer hunters who want to keep deer populations artificially high in many areas, which is destroying the habitat that they and other wildlife depend on.
RRRRyan
February 15, 2006 at 10:57 am
27“Your idea of religion has no role in this conversation.”
You mean mainstream Christianity has no role in a liberal forum correct?
David
February 15, 2006 at 10:58 am
28Seattle Dan,
Anti-intellectualism might be the deepest single thread in American culture. Have a book from 30+ years ago (it’s somewhere…), Anti-intellectualism in America. Anti-intellectualism seemed to me to have softened in the South when I was young, I think because of the post-WWII focus on higher education for returning vets (a guess). Even McCarthyism was generally rejected, at least in Winter Park. I know that the basically conservative people around me wanted us to go to college, learn, and learn to think for ourselves. Even the Southern Baptist seminaries went somewhat progressive. At least knowledge and thinking gained ground, and the presidents of the seminaries reflected it (think Jimmy Carter for a model of an enlightened Southern Baptist).
Then the reactionary forces struck back with a vengeance and the seminaries were purged, restoring “Bible inerrancy” and the rest of the retrograde Southern Baptist mantra. Texas is the number one Southern Baptist state, and I think that is where the driving force for the “purification” was centered.
Another factor was the extent of the push back, at least in the South, against all of the intellectual and social awakening of the 60s, with parents apparently not wanting their children to be “corrupted” by college professors. I got a lot of that at my community college in the later 70s and into the 80s, especially once Reagan took office, where I had perfectly sincere adult students from the conservative faith community expressing concern that community college students straight out of high school were still children not yet ready for intellectual freedom.
It startled me at first, because I had not heard that from the Baptists I was around before I grew away from the church.
I think the stem cell dilemma, together with the fact that W could get more than 30% of the vote, establish America as the most anti-intellectual of the “advanced” nations. We seem to have decided as a nation that belief trumps reality, and I guess it’s that intellectuals, who place unrestricted thought above the constraints of belief systems, keep delving into uncomfortable realities. I think we might be at one of the most pathetic moments in American intellectual history, in no small measure because of people who keep claiming to look back to the founders, without a clue what an intellectual awakening the key figures were indulging in.
Siobhan
February 15, 2006 at 11:03 am
29RRRRyan, though I know eagles won’t be hunted, I’m still concerned about the delisting. Eagles probably have recovered, but the delisting will conveniently allow a lot of logging and/or development to go through. It won’t kill them outright, but… no habitat, no birds.
RRRRyan
February 15, 2006 at 11:25 am
30Elliott,
Your response was interesting. So your intellectualism has surpassed anything the bible or Christ himself has to say correct? The bible does speak on these things. Psalm 139 is a good one as well as Exodus 21:22.
On the Exodus verse many of your friends try to highlight the questionable translation that in the case of miscarriage the penalty was not the same as death of the mother. The fact is that translation (KJV) is unreliable and in my opinion incorrect. My version says “no harm is done”. But regardless of the translation do not ignore the fact that a crime was committed and retribution is to be paid.
How about Luke 1:44? “As soon as the sound of your greeting reached my ears, the baby in my womb leaped for joy.” Hmmm… so she really means the tissue spasmed?
Here’s one: Isaiah 49:1, 5 “The Lord hath called me from the womb, from the bowels of my mother hath he made mention of my name.”
Amos 1:13 speaks of the wrath of God concerning the fact that they “ripped open the pregnant women of Gilead”
Now, I’m quite certain an intellectual humanist such as yourself will argue that these are all subjective and not relevant, but don’t forget you don’t have to prove it since the bible means nothing to you anyway. So why not just admit that to you the bible holds no authority?
The fact is your assuration is false, the bible has much to say when you get beyond “Thou shalt not judge”.
RRRRyan
February 15, 2006 at 11:28 am
31Siobhan, as you’ve already mentioned then hunters are your allies as we maintain habitat. If they are no longer endangered then they probably shouldn’t be on the list. Mostly because if the list loses its meaning then it won’t be able to help animals that are actually endangered.
Sharon
February 15, 2006 at 11:34 am
32Okay, this has moved far beyond silly and is beginning to venture into criminal negligence. (Just my opinion–I am not a licensed attorney.) From Slate, via firedoglake, on the response of actual hunters:
“The official story is that the blast from the vice president’s shotgun hit Whittington at a distance of 30 yards. Hunters at the Vaughn Building [the headquarters of Harry Whittington] are skeptical. The hunt took place on a cold, windy afternoon. Whittington and his fellow hunters were probably wearing warm clothing—say, a jacket and a flannel shirt. Cheney was using a 28-gauge shotgun, a smaller-diameter firearm with pellets smaller than BBs. Whittington’s friends question whether the pellets could have penetrated his layers of clothing and skin at that range. Yet two pellets lodged against his larynx, another was in his liver, and another migrated into the heart muscle, causing the heart attack. The pattern of wounds was between the lower chest and the forehead, a pretty tight zone for shot of 30 yards. If the range was considerably less than 30 yards, then it is likely that Whittington’s injuries were worse than the initial statement by Katharine Armstrong indicated. (The blast “knocked him “silly,” but “he was fine.”)
Siobhan
February 15, 2006 at 11:48 am
33Hunters are our allies when they maintain habitat, but not all of them do.
Eagles are ready to be delisted. It’s what happens next that bums me out. Some of us think “Yea! we saved an animal from extinction”, some think “Yea! now that item’s checked off and we can get back to paving.”
Whatever.
David
February 15, 2006 at 12:12 pm
34RRRRyan,
Yes, honest intellectualism trumps anything any sacred text is perceived to literally say. It’s one of the reasons this experiment called the American republic came into being. You, like way too many Americans, are trapped in a rigid Bible literalism that actually inhibits your ability to appreciate to their fullest realization the marvellous tenets to be found in what is recorded as the words of Jesus. Why do you suppose intellectuals like Leslie can have a very deep and profound faith?
America is about making room for people’s faith, not being Constitutionally beholden to any religious beliefs.
momma (formerly anon)
February 15, 2006 at 12:49 pm
35Oh my gosh, you have really carried this to far. I can see the thread of reasoning as it gathers through the comments but I cannot accept some of the weak rationale. Dick shot Harry therefore God hates women? I think we all know that animals get eaten and that wasting life is immoral. No argument. I think we all know our leadership is immoral. Why are we surprized that Dick wants to hide the fact that he is a jerk and an idiot and everybody makes mistakes? He’s the veep and HE CAN. He is probably sorry. We can all agree that Harry is in a lot of pain and this might be the beginning of the end for him. It is what it is. The profound sadness of it all is that some of the previous dialogue continues and the liberals are splintered. Yes, hunters are good for habitat. Yes, the bible leads those in need. Yes, we have to think about the big picture and do our best to take care of the environment and each other. The nature of humanity is exploitation to a certain degree, the nature of being humane is to decide when exploitation doesn’t best serve us all.
Nuff said.
ice weasel
February 15, 2006 at 1:25 pm
36“from the bowels of my mother hath he made mention of my name.”
To quote a favorite movie character: “I don’t think those words mean what you think they mean.”
RRRRyan
February 15, 2006 at 1:29 pm
37momma (formerly anon) despite the typos your post was actually pretty good, except the “jerk and an idiot” part. Thanks. BTW, who said “God hates women?” I missed that post.
David, I agree to disagree on the intellectualism trumps thing. Please do give me the concession that I’m no idiot. I have simply chosen to allow the Bible to guide my thought process. I think through things thoroughly and accurately based on my convictions, I do not equate emotionalism with spiritualism but I do relate the Bible with spiritualism. What often appears disjoint to others are pieces of a greater concept that I am interested in. I’m sure someone must have noticed that by now.
Just because I do not take the liberty to allow my own gray matter to “trump” what I believe to be a God ordained inspired sacred text (the Bible) leaving myself with reason alone to guide me does not mean I’m ignorant. I recognize the fickleness of my own reasoning. As high as the heavens are above the earth so are God’s ways higher than mine. Not just mine, but every person who will ever exist. So for me, it is pride and arrogance to allow my (or anyone else’s) thoughts to supersede the Almighty’s.
Siobhan, I understand you’re perspective. I agree mostly, I just don’t think it means that a road or two will destroy the future of the Bald Eagle. There has to be some concession on those matters.
RRRRyan
February 15, 2006 at 1:40 pm
38ice weasel, you can hardly claim to be a biblical scholar. You can’t have it both ways. The irony of you quoting Iñigo Montoya is that the word meant exactly what Vizzini thought it meant. It is even more ironic when you look at the fact that Vizzini was actually the “intellectual” who allowed his own gray matter to trump everyone else’s opinion. To his own detriment, if I must add.
Finally, “Inconceivable!” is what you will be saying on the day of Christ’s return. So how very ironic you chose that quote.
Siobhan
February 15, 2006 at 1:45 pm
39Years ago, a friend made an observation while changing planes in Dallas. She said that you could always tell which planes were coming in from the coasts because everyone was wearing black. ‘Tis true, we “blue” types do like our black.
But maybe we should switch our wardrobe. I think one characteristic of “blues” is the acknowledgement that it’s not all black and white out there; we have a healthy regard for the grey areas. Maybe we should start dressing in shades of grey as a sign of our outlook.
Julia
February 15, 2006 at 1:52 pm
40RRRRyan, it becomes more and more important for me to say this clearly and publicly:
I support entirely your choice and your freedom to “ch[oose] to allow the Bible to guide [your] thought process.”
As an American citizen living outside the Judeo-Christian tradition, I have made the choice to find my guidance elsewhere.
I will do my best not to interfere with your decisions, and I respectfully ask that you offer me the same respect.
(If I have learned anything from the last few years, it’s that silence, far from being golden, has become dangerous.)
cooper
February 15, 2006 at 2:04 pm
41RRRRyan (Mr. President), I apologize for all those times I’ve said or implied you are a moron and dumber than a sack of hammers. I just wish you could see how you appear to the common people. You have a terrifically complex job, but everything you do really seems to turn to shit in short order. Iraq and WMD’s, Katrina, Medicare Plan D, giving tax breaks for the rich and taking away from the poor to fund them. I don’t understand why you can’t get something right. I think you need to get your head out of the bottle, the coke vial, or the Bible, whatever it is that is generating this non-ending stream of fuck-ups and get on with the job. Quit listening to Dick and Condi and Donald Rumsfelt and all the other Neo-Cons and start listening to your heart or your wife or someone with a brain. You’ve got 3 more years. Quit screwing up and start doing the right things with the rest of your presidency. You have such a rare opportunity to do good. Seize the moment and do it, for God’s sake.
cooper
dave
February 15, 2006 at 2:24 pm
42RRRRyan, weren’t the Pharisees a group of conservative elitist status quo-ers? Do you honestly think the “Christian” right could tell Jesus, or another true prophet, from a heretic or (gasp!) a damn liberal?
My spiritual life truly began in Catholic High School when my religion teacher (a Brother of the Sacred Heart) told us to remember the Bible is just a book of stories- the meaning is what’s important.
I used to quote verse back at the people who used it as a weapon, but it’s a losing battle. The Bible ain’t about love if you’re chucking it at people’s heads, brother.
nato
February 15, 2006 at 4:12 pm
43On-topic comment:
I haven’t done any searches yet, but has anyone come up with a nice “See Dick/See Dick Hunt/Don’t Be A Dick” cartoon or t-shirt yet? If I could draw, I’d do it myself, but even my stick-figures are an embarrassment.
Off-topic (but what in this set of comments isn’t?):
RRRyan, which bible are you basing your decisions on? I’ve seen quite a few different ones, all claiming to be correct, but all with slightly different punctuation or phrases, and therefore different meanings. It seems to me that the various translations of the bible over time have left it about as clear as an overly-xeroxed copy (yes, I realize I should have thrown a tm in there for xerox, but it’s Adam who’ll get sued for publishing it without the trademark, not me, right?): Sure, you can probably get the gist of most of it, but there’s a lot that was lost in translation. If you’re going to argue that your logic is based on the bible and therefore God, I’d say you have a rather weak argument at this point. At least the Mormons claim to still be talking with God on a regular basis, so their reasoning should be less suspect, right? . . .
ice weasel
February 15, 2006 at 4:15 pm
44ry ry, for all you know, I *am* an eminent biblical scholar, right? Chances are, you know nothing about me. So your assumption is just that, all ass my friend, not much “umption”.
So rrryan, I wonder if you’ll answer this question, which published version of the bible is it that you read?
This is one biblically uninformed person who can’t wait for your response.
Thank you.
Sharon
February 15, 2006 at 4:31 pm
45nato, check out cafepress. I’m pretty sure there is a wide selection of t-shirts by now.
What’s all this talk about different “versions” of the Bible? If the King’s English was good enough for Jesus, it’s good enough for me!
waterfowler
February 15, 2006 at 4:49 pm
46Now don’t you worry Ic.. er..Timmy, I won’t shoot no bald eagles unless’n they’s askin fer it.
Steve
February 15, 2006 at 5:02 pm
47One is tempted to think that all this flap over the shooting is simply a diversion.
Down in Oz, for instance, they’ve unearthed 60 more photos of Abu Ghraib abuse.
While I don’t go so far as to suggest that this incident has been manufactured just to divert the press’s rabbity little attention from a vastly more inflamatory and disgusting story, Scott McClellan is probably secretly exulting that he’s answering (or obfuscating answers to) questions about Dick Cheney rather than Abu Ghraib.
Ummmmmm, it’s another bumper harvest of bad apples. As Harry Shearer put it this last Sunday on “Le Show”, there’s a veritable Johnny Bad Apple Seed out there.
Sharon
February 15, 2006 at 5:09 pm
48I wish to Goddess that the press would pursue the stories of torture, spying on Americans, and all the rest of the shameful illegal activites of this administration that was going to bring “honor and integrity” back to the White House, as diligently as they have pursued this pathetic little story.
Harold
February 15, 2006 at 6:15 pm
49nato, I just threw something together. I’ll scan it when I get home.
Siobhan
February 15, 2006 at 6:22 pm
50Harold - as long as you’re throwing things together, there must be some variant on Tom (turkey?) Dick and Harry that works for this…
nato
February 15, 2006 at 6:34 pm
51Sharon,
Jesus didn’t speak English, he spoke latin, right? (Inay ethay eginninbay . . . )
ice weasel
February 15, 2006 at 6:41 pm
52Hey fouler, the last thing I’m worried is what you are shooting. Feel free to shoot at whatever you wish. Unlike Senor Whittington, when I am around armed republicans, chances are, I’m shooting first. After all, pre-emptive strikes are accepted doctrine, no?
Julia
February 15, 2006 at 6:55 pm
53Sharon & Steve, I agree wholeheartedly that the focus should be elsewhere. What I found most upsetting was my reaction to the 60 photos: “It’s the same incident as before, except now we’re used to the idea that we torture. If the first photos didn’t turn it around, 60 or 600 more photos will have no effect whatsoever.”
I want to be wrong, I really, really want to be wrong, but I don’t have a lot of hope.
Julia, in danger of losing her lurker status
hedera
February 15, 2006 at 7:07 pm
54Julia,
Thank you for your clear statement to RRRRyan, and welcome out of the darkness of lurking. I couldn’t agree with you more. Glad to have you.
cooper
February 15, 2006 at 7:49 pm
55Julia, three more posts during this month of February and we’ll be setting a place for you at Felberpalooza -
http://www.convergencetime.com/felberpalooza/2006/01/11/welcome-to-the -felberpalooza-blog/
I think Murray is still looking for someone to dry dishes on Sunday night, so beware.
David
February 15, 2006 at 9:17 pm
56There is likely much more to the story than has thus far emerged. There are reports that there was some beer involved, along with the woman who is our ambassador to Switzerland. Most intriguing (and off the wall, if Huffington Post is careless about vetting what it publishes) is the following: http://www.informationclearinghouse.info/article11942.htm
I assume there are serious libel implications if this is a false report, although I’m still new to the internet and the blogosphere, so I would really like to know if there is any substance, as opposed to some kind of wild, unfounded speculation (like WMDs in Iraq in 2003).
By the way, they weren’t hunting, they were skeet shooting with live targets. What WF, RRRR, and Paul Begala do is hunting. Now it is true the live targets wouldn’t even exist if they hadn’t been bred to be live skeet targets, so the only issue is whether or not it is humane to raise domestic game birds to use as live skeet targets. There is something terribly faux and effete about it, especially if one is driven up to the skeeting range.
waterfowler
February 15, 2006 at 9:24 pm
57My bad, Ice. Maybe Coop was trying to impersonate you.
RRRRyan
February 15, 2006 at 9:34 pm
58nato, & weasle - I mostly use the NIV since it is based on the oldest manuscripts and has the most up to date language. The TNIV has been even better so far that I’ve seen. I also like to compare the KJV just because so many people use it. One of the first things you learn in bible college is the foundations of the translations and how to dig deeper on a particular verse. I seldom go to a Greek dictionary but have. A lot of this is a matter of trust. There is a spiritual aspect to this as well, prayer, fasting, fellowship with God and with wise people.
I’m not trying to “bash” anyone over the head. Elliot said the bible doesn’t mention abortion and I simply pointed out where it does. Then the “intellectualism” vs. “sacred texts” came up and I merely tried to explain that using bible belief as grounds for ignorance is not truth. In fact it is a fallacy. These threads are so interesting since I spend more time being attacked personally and very little reviewing objective rebuttals.
David, thank you for being willing to explain your position and not simply putting your crosshairs on me. Others have too and that’s what keeps me interested. We don’t know much about each other and I’d bet we’d all be surprised if we knew more. The mystery makes it a bit more fun though.
Sharon
February 15, 2006 at 9:45 pm
59What I love about my job, #102 in a series:
The occasional “Bush Cheney 2004″ bumper sticker is more than outweighed by the “Impeach the Entire Bush Administration” bumper sticker.
Back at my last two jobs, the latter would have gotten your windshield smashed out.
dave
February 15, 2006 at 9:59 pm
60RRRRyan,
I don’t want to sound like I don’t respect your faith, because I think we’d all agree that is *precisely* why any sentence including “according to the Bible” rubs so many of us the wrong way. I’ve never formally studied theology, though it’s a degree I plan to get when I retire. Based on my informal studies and your apparent formal schooling, there’s a point that has long confused me that I’d love to get your response to. That is, if we make the leap and agree that the Bible was divinely inspired but written down by man, and man is fallible and will write with personal and cultural biases, how does one decide what in the Bible is to be treated as parable, what is to be taken literally, and what is to be recognized as having been relevant then but not now? I’ve read scholars who have stated that Old Testament prohibitions on certain things were likely a reaction to health concerns of the day, given poor levels of hygiene and sanitation. And if we accept that books of the Bible were written within a cultural context, how do we decide what to continue with and what to relegate to the past? For that matter, who makes that call?
David
February 15, 2006 at 10:00 pm
61RRRRyan,
I’m never averse to sharing perspectives. And I am pretty intimately familiar with the idea of the KJB (people I knew didn’t call it a version, they called it the Bible, hence my use of KJB)as ultimate authority. Jonathan Edwards offers some of the most intriguing stabs at it. I also used to routinely win sword drills when I was a Southern Baptist, but that was half a century ago.
Whoever,
On Cheney and the possibility he’d been drinking, which is raised in the link I included in a previous post, The Nation magazine is not careless about what they publish:
http://www.commondreams.org/views06/0215-31.htm
Harold
February 15, 2006 at 10:01 pm
62nato, I posted my stick cartoon:
http://anothermonkey.blogspot.com/2006/02/dont-be-dick.html
And in case anyone hasn’t made this observation already…
Dick Cheney managed to shoot a lawyer in the heart with birdshot at a distance of 30 yards. Considering the size of the average lawyer’s heart, that’s a pretty good shot.
RRRRyan
February 15, 2006 at 10:43 pm
63Dave, you bring up something that I reconsider at minimum monthly. My answer to your question is probably quite unorthodox and maybe even wrong. Man is fallible and if there is anyone I’d like to discount it would be Paul and some of his statements. Then stack on top of that all the well meaning scribes who may have added their own tweaks and it is easy to doubt the Bible’s accuracy.
However, Christianity is a matter of faith in a omnipresent, omniscient, omni powerful being. So I believe He has the power to keep the text accurate and trust He has. I must believe this because if I do not then I’m left with my own self-serving gray matter.
My answer is two part though. The words of the Bible have been used to justify what I believe to be quite ungodly acts. Jesus mentions often the Holy Spirit that guides us to all truth. So I believe the words themselves are insufficient. I believe the Holy Spirit guides our perception of the text and helps us understand the concepts. I get to know God better every day, and have faith that I am drawing closer to his will and desire. I’ve sought him during long fasts on major life decisions and He has taken me further than I would have ever imagined.
I’m one of those fallible people. So much so that I will be digging into the verse in Exodus to discover for myself what the penalty was for causing a woman to abort a child. It seems relevant to me. When the right way is not clear I will choose the one of lesser convenience. The one that is less enticing, forgive me, but the “road less traveled”. In the case of abortion the fact that the major argument for it applies to 7.06% of the abortions performed in this country I believe it wrong on both a spiritual and intellectual level.
Finally, on the subject of scripture. Your earlier post mentioned telling the difference between Jesus and a heretic. You are dead on. I’m not happy with “status quo” for a very similar reason. Believe it or not, I do my share of challenging fellow Christians. Just remember the level of hate the truth generates. You know the verses, “Pearls and swine”, “the world hates you”, “darkness hates light”, there is a war going on and just because everyone disagrees doesn’t mean it’s wrong. From my perspective I see a lot of accusations of name calling and personal attacks and rereading my posts I miss those. I’m not the one who even brought up the Bible in this thread.
RRRRyan
February 15, 2006 at 10:44 pm
64David, you did catch that I find the KJ untrustworthy right?
Sharon
February 15, 2006 at 11:55 pm
65RRRRyan, let’s set aside the New Testament for a moment. How do you decide which parts of the OT are still relevant? You say that you trust that God kept men from making mistakes when transcribing, translating, copying, etc., the text. Does that mean that the penalty for adulterous women and obstreperous teenagers should still be public stoning? What about slavery–yes or no? As I recall, the OT condones it as part of the natural order of things.
cooper
February 15, 2006 at 11:57 pm
66President Bush, why do you waste your time blathering with Liberals about “pearls and swine” and the King James vs. the Artemus Wholeflaffer Version of the Bible. Who gives a rat’s ass?
Obviously your ADHD is now dominant and you’ll do anything to keep from facing the God-offal mess you’ve made of your life and presidency. Let me help you start dig your way out. Face your problems head-on and deal with them. Was your Vice President drunk when he shot the lawyer? Is that why reporting the incident was delayed for 22 hours, so America’s favorite raw meat Republican could sleep it off & sober up? If that’s the case, get rid of him! If Cheney did indeed force Scooter Libby to out Valerie Plame, will you really “fire” him like you promised you would. How about the Katrina disaster? Will you actually fire someone over that debacle and not replace him or her with yet another useless, brainless political hack? The Katrina disaster is still going on. You’re kicking people out of their hotel rooms and into the street to become homeless; how many today? Soldiers being deployed to Iraq are still having to buy their own body armor before they go into the war zone. What’s that about? How many veterans of the Iraqi War wound up having to buy their own meals today, as they lay in their beds recovering from their injuries. That has to be a new American low in irresponsibility.
Get a backbone; get a clue; get to work. Time’s a wasting. Do something good and honorable and morally uplifting today for a change. And quit hiding behind that stupidly transparent RRRRyan screen name. Everyone knows it’s you. Jeez!!
cooper
February 16, 2006 at 12:08 am
67So, Adam, it looks like it’s now “Vice President Cheney’s Boone’s Farm companion has suffered a “minor heart attack”.
waterfowler
February 16, 2006 at 12:10 am
68Adam, stop banging your head on the wall. You’ll wake up tomorrow and it will all have been a bad dream.
Lurker, tu vomito la mi zapatos.
Ann
February 16, 2006 at 12:20 am
69But RRRR, you did throw in “I’ll leave the 3700 human babies killed everyday out of this.” Which is rhetorically the same as “And I’m not even going to MENTION how stupid and ugly you are.” Mentioning something by saying you’re not going to mention it is disingenuous at best. So while it’s true that you didn’t “bring up the Bible” first, you certainly threw down the glove.
Once you recognize that you’re fallible, you have to accept the possibility that spiritual experiences could also be false or imagined or—not in your case, but certainly with some people—psychotic breaks with reality. The very sincere spiritual experiences that are reported by people who have vastly different religious beliefs have to come from somewhere, after all!
Finally, I don’t think it’s intellectually honest—in fact it’s extremely self-serving—to measure the rightness of your convictions by the resistance they generate. Bad ideas, hateful ideas, stupid ideas—they all meet with resistance. Nothing is more common in a petty idealogue or a deranged person than the belief that other people just don’t understand. Yet.
Sharon
February 16, 2006 at 2:08 am
70cooper, the Shrub hasn’t done an honest day’s work in his life—he’s gonna start NOW?
David
February 16, 2006 at 2:25 am
71RRRRyan,
I do now.
Cooper,
Your letter to Bush is dead on, but I doubt Bush could write RRRRyan’s posts, so RRRRyan is RRRRyan, and Bush is a bewildered, semi-coherent, unremittingly arrogant incompetent who is incapable of even trying to enter into a dialogue with anyone, except maybe Laura and the kids on personal matters, or at one time his father when they were fishing, but not anymore. Senior ain’t happy about how badly Cheney has screwed up the presidency, and as W said, he doesn’t consult with his earthly father. In my family, W would have gotten knocked silly for a comment like that, not because of any objection to believing in God, but because you don’t insult Dad like that, not if you value your teeth.
Oh, yeah, I think it was Pearl pop with the foam on top, unless of course Coors catered the picnic.
Jon
February 16, 2006 at 4:10 am
72Is it just me, or is the script playing out just too perfectly? Cheney is forced to step down so that the GOP’s 2008 draft pick can have 3 full years of VP-level experience. (And just who is that 2008 draft pick? Anybody notice just how nice-nice McCain has been playing lately, even to the point of badmouthing golden boy Obama? What’s up with that?)
cooper
February 16, 2006 at 8:29 am
73Ann, it’s futile to argue with the President, when he’s obviously off his meds. Laura normally takes care of that, but she was just here yesterday pointing out that women have too many heart attacks. Good Laura, maybe someone with the ear of the President ought to bring that up sometime.
David, it’s the President. I’m quite sure.
Jon, interesting theory. It may be time for one of his famed heart attacks to render him “unable to fulfill the requirements of the Office”. McCain will, on occassion, grab hold of a good and noble idea like a bull dog and not let go, which is often very heartening. But he does have those tantrums. Must be due to the lost years growing up in Hanoi, like he did, that tips him into a bad humor.
Sharon
February 16, 2006 at 8:29 am
74Pearl? Not Lone Star?
(I left Texas before I was old enough to drink, so I don’t have any way to distinguish local beers.)
RRRRyan
February 16, 2006 at 12:03 pm
75Sharon, very good point. There are a generally accepted group of laws that are considered to have been specific to the time. Peter’s vision and conflicts with Paul helped shed light on many of the rules that are a matter of legalism instead of faith. The stoning issue was settled by Christ himself on a street corner when He said “you who are without sin cast the first stone.” Also, Paul mentions slavery in the New Testament. I wouldn’t say it’s condoning it, more counseling slaves to excel in those positions. God used many slaves, Daniel, Shadrach, Meshach, Abednego, Joseph, Esther… There’s a long and distinguished list of slaves or servants that were blessed by God. I believe the abolishment of slavery was a fantastic turn of human events. There are historical details that make every cultures version quite different. In ancient Israel slaves would have been more like prisoners or war, that would likely have otherwise been killed. In America they were kidnapped from their country and treated as sub humans. It’s a little different.
RRRRyan
February 16, 2006 at 12:06 pm
76Ann, I’m neither stupid nor ugly. LOL. You are right, I did mention it and purposely so. I suppose the “threw down the glove” thing is true too if you mean that I did answer the questions posed. You must admit the controversy was significantly caused by strong feelings on both sides of the subject. Elliott made the comment that “your idea of religion has no role in this conversation”, which is again ironic considering the strong opposing feelings that rose. Anyone interested in more than just a lackey fest would admit that if the topic comes up then my idea does have a role. In fact that speaks to the overall concept this forum makes me keenly aware of. The fact that as much as so many try to claim an interest in open debate they will always fall back on insult and alienation if there is no good rebuttal. Elliott’s questions were most likely rhetorical, what else is new, but the fact is I have considered every one.
1. Have you ever been a victim of rape? Answer: 7% of abortions fall in this category. Inconsequential, and provisions have always existed for this case if you must blame the baby for the crime. I think I mentioned before that my only experience with this was a woman who chose to keep the child. She says to this day that child has been a crucial part of her healing. He’s a neat kid too. Her husband and her are examples to me of true wisdom in the midst of tragic circumstances.
2. Have you ever had to go to an abusive father to tell him that you are pregnant? Answer: Assuming this makes up the other 93% of abortions the fact is there are again provisions for such circumstances. I do not believe the correct answer is let the father continue to be abusive and allow a child to make the decision in secret so she can go back home and not be yelled at that day. If I must say I do know something of abuse. I also know something of the deceitfulness of children. This could count as a persuasive point if there were not so many provisions available.
3. Have you ever been threatened by your husband? Answer: What does this have to do with killing your unborn child? See #2 above.
4. Have you ever been told by God the exact moment that a fetus becomes a child? Answer: God doesn’t ever mention the word fetus, so I’m left with there is no such thing. It’s a child. Don’t forget, it was even bad to “spill your seed on the ground”.
5. Has the bible ever told when that time is? Answer: I believe this to be the same question as #4 above.
The rest consists of unsubstantiated statements concerning faith and finally me. Now that I think about it, Elliot was the one throwing down the gloves. Ann, you seem pretty reasonable, you must see that. Basically, it seems Elliott’s reasoning for abortion seems to center around abusive situations that he would like to allow to continue without complication. You must admit at least it is not ignorance that causes me to say it does not persuade me.
Fanatical Atheist
February 16, 2006 at 12:10 pm
77Nothin’ personal, but I’m getting bored with Theology 101 here. There are plenty of other places on the web for these conversations, and that’s where I’d be if that was my interest.
dave
February 16, 2006 at 12:20 pm
78RRRRyan,
Your rebuttal brings me back around to my earlier train of thought. Of course fetus doesn’t appear in the Bible, because it was an unheard of concept at the time the scriptures were written. As for spilling seed, at the time of the writing, sex for procreation was vital for the survival of the tribe. The issue isn’t what is written; rather, if interpretation of the Bible is largely subjective and based upon your faith and your relationship with God, how can the Bible (or any other book) be used to define civil laws? Orthodox Jews and reform Jews view the same texts through different perspectives. Who decides who’s right?
David
February 16, 2006 at 12:26 pm
79Sharon,
Last time I was in Texas, we were drinking Pearl, but it was east Texas, which is more like west west Louisiana, so Lone Star makes a lot more sense, unlike W or Cheney’s version of what happened.
Cooper,
Another clue. RRRRyan actually knows the Christian texts. W doesn’t, any more than he knows what the Constitution actually says. And W is incapable of writing a coherent post on his own. It can only be W if someone is ghost writing (and ghost thinking) while W sits there eating pretzels and chanting Hook ‘em, Horns (no disrespect to UT or one of the great southwestern towns, Austin).
Open plea for progressive vibes - His Mental Munchkinness will be in Tampa tomorrow to deliver a script about something. Depending on the flight path, I might even be able to see Heir Farce One bringing in The Great Violator.
Stephen
February 16, 2006 at 12:47 pm
80Jon,
Stop it, your scaring me. You know, I never really bought into conspiracy theories until this administration.
RRRRyan
February 16, 2006 at 12:48 pm
81Dave, we all have a different idea of what’s right don’t we? So deciding who is right is a bit moot. We influence who we can. I have no great illusions of influencing anyone here. I can say that all of the responses have caused me to look really deep. Am I just disagreeing for sport or do I really know why? What common ground do we have? The atheist above makes a good point. It’s really not fair for us to debate scripture here. It all ends up moot anyway and there’s really nothing I know more about than the Bible. I’m a Christian, Orthodox Jews are not, so we’d clearly disagree on many points.
On a side note, I find that liberals generally contemplate more thoroughly and thus I enjoy their conversation. In fact that’s perhaps their weakness, that they rely on their own mind too completely. Also, non-Christians have few preconceived notions of what things mean and don’t mean. So when I get a chance I’ll throw in an idea that would actually make some of my more fundamental friends doubt my salvation. You’d be surprised how many things I’ve said that would have caused trouble among Christians.
David
February 16, 2006 at 12:50 pm
82Off topic,
I’ll be damned. Our gang in Haiti couldn’t prevent Preval, who won, from becoming the next President of Haiti. Haitians are gutsier than we are. They just plain refused to allow fraud to determine the outcome. Sometimes Fuck you, X won makes sense.
Elliott
February 16, 2006 at 1:02 pm
83throwing gasoline on fire… it can be fun sometimes.
Maximum Bob
February 16, 2006 at 1:44 pm
84It occurs to me that the old writers’ admonition, “Show, don’t tell,” applies equally well to religion.
Frankly, I couldn’t care less whether someone interprets the Bible in such-and-such a fashion. I’d much rather know how a person lives their religion than talks it. Unless their religion consists entirely of talking, which in itself is revealing.
Here’s a fun game that you can play! Things have reached the point where public displays of piety have become so common, even here in godless northern California, that if you sit down in a coffee shop or restaurant, there’s a pretty good chance you’ll be near a group that’s talking–always loudly–about religion. When you hear this, play a round of Ecumenical Countdown: see how long it takes for one of the loud talkers to mention the preeminent New Testament topic of helping the poor. While I’ve been playing the game only a few months, the result so far is, well, never.
Could we get back to talking politics now? Pretty please?
cooper
February 16, 2006 at 2:08 pm
85David, you said “Another clue. RRRRyan actually knows the Christian texts. W doesn’t, any more than he knows what the Constitution actually says. And W is incapable of writing a coherent post on his own. It can only be W if someone is ghost writing (and ghost thinking)…”
So, who’s to say that’s not the case here? W has gone through life with well paid surrogate thinkers covering his posterior. As W would say, “Thinking is…uhhhh, not … for instance… uhhh, we used to say…uhhhh, springs forth and …… multiplies violence …. I’m not making this up .. it’s hard work!!”
It’s Bush - I know it is - no doubt.
David
February 16, 2006 at 2:43 pm
86RRRRyan,
I’m not caving.
Cooper,
You do make a good case, dammit.
Maximum Bob,
Here’s a non-religious offering (I like your game) which looks like something Adam would write. I got it from a cousin (I’m Southern, I’ve got cousins from hell to breakfast):
Subject: And Now The Rest of the Story
Believed Shooting Victim Was Zawahiri, Veep Says
Vice President Dick Cheney revealed today that he shot a fellow hunter
while on a quail hunting trip over the weekend because he believed the
man was the fugitive terror mastermind Ayman al-Zawahiri.
Mr. Cheney acknowledged that the man he sprayed with pellets on
Saturday was not al-Zawahiri but rather Harry Whittington, a
78-year-old millionaire lawyer from Austin, blaming the mix-up on
“faulty intelligence.”
“I believed I had credible intelligence that al-Zawahiri had
infiltrated my hunting party in disguise with the intent of spraying me
with pellets,” Mr. Cheney told reporters. “Only after I shot Harry in
the face and he shouted ‘Cheney, you bastard’ did I realize that this
intelligence was faulty.”
Moments after Mr. Cheney’s assault on Mr. Whittington, Mr. al-Zawahiri
appeared in a new videotape broadcast on al-Jazeera to announce that he
was uninjured in the vice president’s attack because, in his words, “I
was in Pakistan.”
An aide to the vice president said he believed that the American people
would believe Mr. Cheney’s version of events, but added, “If he was
going to shoot any of his cronies right now it’s a shame it wasn’t Jack
Abramoff.”
At the White House, President George W. Bush defended his vice
president’s shooting of a fellow hunter, saying that the attack sent “a
strong message to terrorists everywhere.”
“The message is, if Dick Cheney is willing to shoot an innocent
American citizen at point-blank range, imagine what he’ll do to you,”
Mr. Bush said.
Harold
February 16, 2006 at 2:47 pm
87Should we start insisting that Antonin Scalia and Dick Cheney hunt together more often?
RRRRyan
February 16, 2006 at 2:48 pm
88Maximum, you shouldn’t hear about a Christian’s good works because we are told they are private between us and God. I can say without a doubt your post brought me no shame.
So on politics, is anyone ashamed of Gore now?
Julia
February 16, 2006 at 3:07 pm
89Ashamed of Gore? Not unless he was in those 60 photos. I’m ashamed of anybody from beginning to end who is associated with that.
Maximum Bob
February 16, 2006 at 3:19 pm
90RRRRyan -
Reread my post. Then reply to it, and not to something you imagined reading that’s easier to counter.
David -
Great story; it’s nice to have relatives who forward stuff that good. I believe that originated with Andy Borowitz (www.borowitzreport.com). I also commend to you another recent Borowitz article, Michael Brown Named Secretary of Defensiveness.
cooper
February 16, 2006 at 3:21 pm
91MaxBob, good game. I’ll give it a try around here (Bible Belt), probably with the same results.
Harold, I don’t think I’ll complain so vociferously next time that happens. Seems there was a Vice President a while back that, whenever people played doubles tennis with him and he was serving, his partner would wear a crash helmet to deflect the 90 mph serves from the back of his head. There seemed to be quite a few. I’m thinking it was Agnew or Quayle. Anyone remember who that was?
nato
February 16, 2006 at 3:52 pm
92Harold, thanks for the dick. Er, cartoon.
Rrryan, with regard to scripture and God keeping the text accurate: If God were keeping the text accurate, we would not have so many different versions of the bible. Granted, we might consider a different one for each language, but there would be no need for the KJB, NIV, or the “new and improved” KJB with JS translations (otherwise known as the Mormon KJB). That leaves us with interpretation by us fallible humans and the fact that there is a lot of stuff not covered by the new or old testament. Fasting and prayer may help some of us come up with answers deal with things not covered by those works, but to expect those answers to work for everyone is incredible conceit. What you come up with as an answer is no more valid than what I come up with as an answer. What I come up with, though, will not be prefaced with any statements about it being God’s Will. Until we can learn to get along with each other honestly and fairly, I think we’re all pretty much screwed from both a religious and societal standpoint.
Stephen
February 16, 2006 at 5:24 pm
93MaxBob,
Loved the link, thanks! I’m sure Brownie will do a heck of a job!
nato,
Wow, JST too. I’m impressed. Must have met some Mormons down the road, huh?
Pete IVDL
February 16, 2006 at 5:58 pm
94I actually wrote another, slightly longer version of what I’m thinking, but I think it would even piss off Adam…
I’m tired. In a nutshell :
- Discussing wh