Holiday celebrations are getting underway at Casa Felber West (we even have a lovely War on Christmas Tree, with ornaments supplied by MoveOn that depict secular liberal media steet gangs lynching Santa! Shh - please don’t tell decent Americans!), so blog entries might be briefer in the coming days.
But I do have to call your attention to one developing story. By voting last week, the Iraqi people sent a message.
Apparently, that message was to Iran. And the message was, “Hi! ”
It seems that the early election returns in Iraq point to a gigantic victory for Iran.
It was a vague fear that some people floated early on - what if the fledgling democracy in Iraq voted for a government that wasn’t secular, pan-Iraqi, or pro-America? This was a “silly question,” of course, a piece of idle speculation that only true America-haters would even bring up. Of course they’ll vote for a reasonable government once they’ve had a taste of freedom.
It didn’t even occur to anybody that a bloody insurgency, America’s current disfavor in the world, well-publicized abuse allegations, and a propaganda war that even our administration concedes that we are losing at the moment… well, it didn’t occur to many people that this sort of thing might have some influence on how the Iraqis actually vote. That freedom can taste like lots of things.
The focus has been on the fact of the vote. You won’t see anything in any of the President’s recent speeches that indicates that who is chosen to lead Iraq could possibly matter in the slightest. Voting makes them a Democracy, being a Democracy makes them Stable and Our Friends.
Except when it doesn’t. Then… not so much.
Funny, because here, when we Americans vote, we are told in no uncertain terms that the future of the country is at stake. Why, I think I even heard something about that during the last Presidential election. Here in the US, who gets voted for can mean who our allies will be and what our policy will be and whether or not we go to war and stuff.
Iraq’s different I guess, though.
If these early results do reflect the eventual tally, Iraq’s ruling coalition is going to be a bunch of religious Shi’ite lawmakers. You know, like they have in Iran. The Sunnis and Kurds seem to have picked their best mywayorthehighwayites as well, and secular, unified-Iraq folks like the vaudeville team of Chalabi and Allawi… are losing big time. The “don’t even think about it even though it might happen” possibility of a balkanized Iraq now looms a lot larger.
“Yes, getting a visa to work in Kurdistan from Shi’iraq is easy, but you really can’t travel to Trianglonia these days…”
Not that we’re in a position to say anything about it anymore. After touting the vote so highly, we can’t really say, “Yeah, but you guys voted wrong. You kinda sorta voted away the freedom and stability we were trying to give you…” We can’t say that. Freedom, in this case, tastes like chicken.





42 comments
Linkmeister
December 21, 2005 at 7:19 pm
1Well, if those elections were rigged as the Sunnis claim, at least they learned the ins and outs of doing that from our guys (esp. in Ohio and Florida), right? Right?
Maximum Bob
December 21, 2005 at 7:32 pm
2A closer look at the translation reveals that the message to Iran is not “Hi!” but “Hey, sailor!” Good news, that.
hedera
December 21, 2005 at 8:07 pm
3I’ve been expecting this, actually. Look at the situation: sixty percent of Iraqis are Shiite Muslims, on whom the Baathists (most of whom were secularist rather than Sunni) beat up regularly for the last 30 years. Now they have a reasonably fair election (it’s probably cleaner than the last election in Belarus), and all the Shias vote for: guess who?? Sixty percent of the population is almost enough to rewrite the U.S. constitution.
The Kurds held their 3 provinces together, they know the stakes; they’re going for semi-autonomous Kurdistan. The Sunnis couldn’t pull together a single slate and so split their votes, and the secularists, who had a single slate, couldn’t compete because everybody looks at them and says, “Ewww! Baathist American ass kissers!”
If you really want a good look at how so-called democratic elections don’t necessarily produce Governments We Like, take a gander at Venezuela some time…
Murray
December 21, 2005 at 9:59 pm
4hedera,
Good to have your back.
Henry Kissinger said something to the effect of “If other countries can’t vote for what is best for them, it’s up to us to do it for them.”
As far as I’m concerned the Iraq result is a Duh! outcome.
cooper
December 21, 2005 at 11:15 pm
5hedera, Belarus? Hell, Iraq’s election was probably cleaner than ours. I hope so, anyway.
nigel
December 22, 2005 at 12:22 am
6EVOlution
And how about those Bolivians? Gotta love a candidate who chews coca on the campaign trail. Don’t know if he quaffed cola and winked a lot, but that would have been a nice touch.
Odd that the same Staties that no doubt were involved in Iran-Contra and forcibly reinstated the opium lords of Afghanistan would be so alarmed over some mildly stimulating leaves. Even the A-rabs chew Qat, for chrissakes. But that’s not what it’s really about. It’s about P-E-T-R-O-L-E-O.
Thom. Jefferson
December 22, 2005 at 12:28 am
7“A democracy is nothing more than mob rule, where fifty-one percent of the people may take away the rights of the other forty-nine.”
Thom. Jefferson
December 22, 2005 at 12:41 am
8If we are to meddle in the region, perhaps a more worthy strategic goal would be the establishment of a free Kurdistan. Kurds occupy portions of Iran, Iraq, Turkey, and Syria. Not much oil, unfortunately, but they have one of the oldest and richest cultures in world, and are rather more our types than the Shi’ites. Sort of a middle eastern Switzerland, potentially.
http://www.xs4all.nl/~tank/kurdish/htdocs/his/beer.html
hedera
December 22, 2005 at 1:57 am
9Right, nigel, there’s also Evo Morales… whose bright idea is to nationalize everything and legalize coca growing. Guys, WHEN are we going to cut the illegal drug trade off at the knees by legalizing all the drugs?? We are the biggest market for illegal drugs including cocaine in the world; if U.S. addicts can buy the stuff over the counter in Walgreen’s, the illegal trade dries up - just the way the bootleg trade dried up after we repealed Prohibition…
hedera
December 22, 2005 at 1:59 am
10And Thom. Jefferson is quite right about democracy, which is why there are so many checks and balances built into our system (or were until Dubya got into office). The Founding Fathers were very suspicious of the tyranny of the majority.
Emmarie
December 22, 2005 at 10:37 am
11nigel, not that this has anything to do with coca and Bolivia and the politics of its president, but Bolivia is a country with a lot of high altitutdes, and chewing coca is one way to resist altitude sickness.
I wish South America could elect presidents who have good ideas like resisting the U.S. destruction of their crops but are able to stay away from bad ideas like nationalizing everything. Grr.
C. Everett Koop
December 22, 2005 at 12:21 pm
12emmarie, so if you’re already high, you need to chew coca to keep from getting sick? Gee, I don’t think the boys in D.C. will go along with that theory…
Mary
December 22, 2005 at 1:13 pm
13What were they thinking? (slapping forehead)
I guess it is a good thing shrub headed back to Crawford. With the Iraqi election results; the Bolivian elections results; the Patriot Act extension; ANWR being held up……., he’ll be lucky not to get reindeer poop in his stocking. (Not that he doesn’t *deserve* it!)
Murray
December 22, 2005 at 1:54 pm
14Conservative know everything there is to know about market forces, except when it comes to drugs. They think you need to stop the supply which brings up prices and insures more supply, instead of stopping demand with treatment and education, which negates the need for supply.
This is one of the classic examples of an emotional response over ruling an intelligent one.
David
December 22, 2005 at 3:00 pm
15Vaya con Allah, Mesopotamia, and vaya to Hades, W.
Iraq: Game Over
by Robert Dreyfuss, TomPaine.com
The victory of the Shiite religious bloc means the big winner in the Iraqi elections is Iran. Next stop: civil war.
http://www.tompaine.com/articles/20051222/iraq_game_over.php
Pete IVDL
December 22, 2005 at 4:56 pm
16Ah, it doesn’t matter. We tried to give ‘em Democracy (shouldn’t that be called “Republicacy”?), but would they take it? NO! We tried. We gave ‘em no water, no electricity, no security, hatred, lies, and all the other stuff (just to show ‘em how it compared to the Good Old Days), and what did they do? They threw it away! Well damn them. Damn them to Heck. Oh - and give us back our oil.
ice weasel
December 22, 2005 at 5:30 pm
17The US has a long and quite arrogantly proud history of shitting in our best efforts to “promote democracy” much less Iraq, which was and continues to be, a highly questionable enterprise, from the start. So this is nothing unusual. We’ve continually ignored those past lessons and given the Gordon Geckos we sent to build said democracy, I’m frankly surprised we got the first election.
One has to wonder how many men in Iran have peed their robes with laughter over what we’ve accomplished for them. What Iran couldn’t do with tens of thousands of soliders and millions of dollars in munitions, we did for them. And so much the better for Iran because now they’re not the conqueror, but the loyal brethren in Allah next door.
Who couldn’t see this coming two years ago? Well, apparently anyone with an “R” after their name.
Jay
December 22, 2005 at 11:25 pm
18Slightly off topic, but too good to keep to myself. On the way home this evening I was listening to BBC world service on KUOW, the Seattle NPR station. They had a story about Nigeria that featured a Bush administration official lecturing the Nigerian president about the lack of transparency in his government. This from the most secretive administration we have had in a long time! And they say irony is dead.
Happy Whatever.
Jay
David
December 23, 2005 at 12:00 am
19Really off thread:
LANSING, Mich. - The state parole board rejected a request to pardon assisted-suicide advocate Jack Kevorkian or commute his sentence, despite warnings that he is in grave condition.
The bastards. Jack Kevorkian is a hero, and hopefully he will be looked back on some day as a martyr for human decency and the right of the individual not to be condemned to a level of agony that individual has no desire to be tortured by. For those people who find ways to cope with unbearable pain, I offer all the admiration I can muster. But society has no right to demand that of people, any more than it has a right to demand that women continue their pregnancies against their will. Both are forms of state-imposed bondage. And no, a non-viable fetus is not a separate entity from the mother.
Christmas eve is only slightly more than 24 hours away, so all the good wishes this season so rightly inspires to all you Felbernauts everywhere across this beleaguered planet.
waterfowler
December 23, 2005 at 6:08 am
20Merry Christmas Y’all.
Mary
December 23, 2005 at 9:57 am
21Lobster bless us each and every one!!!
David
December 23, 2005 at 10:53 am
22Wondering where you’ve been, Waterfowler.
Back at’cha again, and good to see you speak God’s English. If God hadn’t intended clarity, s/he wouldn’t have created “y’all” so people could know when the plural is intended. S/he also wouldn’t have created “ain’t” if s/he hadn’t intended for the language to have some punch.
And may the Big Mudbug in the Sky smile on New Orleans in the new year - please.
cooper
December 23, 2005 at 11:18 am
23Happy Holidays everyone! Read this to the little nippers and ankle biters tomorrow night. My kids loved it. Peace! Cooper.
RUDOLPH’S NIGHT OFF
by Baxter Black
“Twas the night before Christmas and Rudolph was lame!
The vet from the North Pole said, “Footrot’s to blame
I’ll give him some sulfa, it’s the best I can do
But stall rest is needed the next week or two.”
“Great Scott!” cried old Santy, he turned with a jerk.
I won’t git through Pierre if my headlight don’t work!
On Interstate 40 I’ll surely get fined
And lost in Montana if I’m flying blind!”
“No cop in his right mind would give any clout
To a geezer who claimed that his reindeer went out!”
He gathered the others, ol’ Donner and Blitzen.
Were any among ‘em whose nose was tranmitzen?
They grunted and strained and made sure made a mess
But no noses glowed brightly or ears luminesced.
“It’s bad luck in bunches,” cried Santy, distressed.
“We’ll fly Continental, the Red Eye express!
“I’ll just check the schedule,” he put on his glasses
When up stepped ol’ Billy, the goat from Lampasas.
He shivered and shook like a mouse on the Ark
But his horns were a beacon … They glowed in the dark!
Santy went crazy! He asked “Why?” with a smile
“I just ate a watch with a radium dial!
Where I come from in Texas we don’t have thick hide
So my skin is so thin it shines through from inside.”
If that’s true then let’s feed him!” cried Santy with glee
“Gather everything burnin’ and bring it to me!”
So Billy ate flashbulbs and solar collectors,
Electric eels and road sign reflectors,
Firecracker sparklers, a Lady Schick shaver
And Lifesavers, all of ‘em wintergreen flavor,
Jelly from phosphorescellous fish,
Day Glow pizza in a glittering dish,
Fireflies and candles and stuff that ignites,
Then had him a big bowl of Northering Lights!
He danced on the rug and petted the cat
And after he’d finished and done all of that
To store up the static ‘lectricity better
They forced him to eat two balloons and a sweater!
Then he opened his mouth, light fell on the floor
Like a fridge light comes on when you open the door!
His Halloween smile couldn’t be better drawn
When he burped accidently, his high beams kicked on!
Hitch him up!” cried ol’ Santy, and they went on their way.
I remember that Christmas to this very day.
The sky was ablaze with the stars shining bright.
They were shooting and falling all through the night.
And I realize now, though my fingers are crossed
What I really was seein’ … was ol’ Billy’s exhaust!
Chuggo
December 23, 2005 at 5:13 pm
24That can not be improved upon.
“phosphorescellous fish?” Beautiful.
Pete IVDL
December 23, 2005 at 5:31 pm
25It’s XMAS eve already here. You guys better be ready!
I’ll be spending the next couple of days cleaning and preparing my computer’s (his name is Hector - say “Hi”, Hector : 0011001100010010) water cooling system for the summer onslaught, adding a flow meter, adding anti-oxidant, moving the radiator/reservoir downstairs, so…
Happy Solstice to all and sundry, commenters, lurkers, and dear old Adam. You guys have made my year (again). Have a safe and warm and happy break, and I’ll read y’all next year.
cooper
December 23, 2005 at 6:07 pm
26Hector, let see if you know this old trick - 0110101000111010101110101010010100010111 - hee, hee. Yeah, I know. That’s an old classic that we seem never get tired of here in the northern hemisphere! Wait until Pete is downloading the next Pamela Anderson screen saver and then spring it on him. The flashing red lights and the “dive, dive, dive” distress horns really add a lot to the whole effect!
Happy Holidays
Your pal, Moises (cooper’s computer)
Murray
December 23, 2005 at 10:32 pm
27I’d say Merry Christmas but the Looney Rightous Right have pissed me off so much with their persecution bs that the best I can muster is Happy Holidays.
My computer named “You worhtless piece of sh*T” wishes everone a good year, agooe yate, a,,,,,d yreq, warning warning!!! you have committed a fatle error!
hedera
December 23, 2005 at 11:47 pm
28I’ll say Merry Christmas in despite of the Looney Righteous Right - why should I let them control what I want to say? Merry Christmas to all, and may the Lobster wave his eyestalks your way.
My computer has no name and it doesn’t seem to care. I don’t name my cars, either.
cooper, thanks for the Baxter Black poem, I love that man, I wish he still recorded comments for NPR. He did a story once about a guy who was caught, with his horse, by a wildfire, and kept the horse from going crazy by singing to it, that had the tears streaming down my face. I had to stop and compose myself before I could drive in to work. He is so fine!
Tiny Tim - not the faggy, long hair falsetto who married Miss Vicki on the Tonight Show with Johnny Carson, but the other one
December 24, 2005 at 12:10 am
29God bless us every one!
cooper
December 24, 2005 at 12:27 am
30hedera, Baxter has some excellent books out - “Hey Cowboy, Are You Feeling Lucky” is worth reading. I’ve had to do the same stop-driving-and-quit-laughing-for-the-common-good routines myself. I miss his voice and humor, also. BTW, he’s a lot younger than he sounds. Be happy and painfree during this joyous holiday season.
Your pal, cooper
Ann
December 24, 2005 at 12:51 am
31Happy Holidays, everyone! And remember, if you *really* want to protect your most sacred days, perhaps you shouldn’t take them to the mall.
Nevertheless,
Love,
Ann
hedera
December 24, 2005 at 12:55 am
32Yes, cooper, I was looking at his web site (which has a picture - great mustache!). The contents of his book Coyote Cowboy Poetry include a piece entitled “Hello I’m from the government” - it’s almost worth buying the book to see what Baxer would do with that theme… I also wonder about “Loony Lucy’s Spa And Health Food Co-Op”.
Harold
December 24, 2005 at 12:19 pm
33Merry Christmas, everybody! And screw the religious extremists! Most of ‘em only go to church twice a year, anyway! It’s only a matter of time before they start firebombing department stores and assassinating Santa Claus right in his Christmas Village.
Shameless site promotion: I made up a Christmas Card that touches upon this ridiculous debate. Stop on by and have a peek!
http://anothermonkey.blogspot.com/2005/12/merry-christmas-2005-from-an other.html
If anybody wants a hard copy, or would like the hi-res image file (or other angles of the same image) to make their own version, just let me know!
David
December 24, 2005 at 4:06 pm
34Way, way cool, Harold.
My dad is from Philadelphia, and I lived in New Jersey (Trenton) for a year. Your Christmas card is wonderful. Made me really nostalgic for the snow and the feel of regular folk PA/NJ.
There are two of the cows at the corner of a pasture outside Hendersonville, NC. My sweetie was driving along that particular country road when she rounded a curve and was confronted by them (they are the same size as y’all’s Big Cow). I immediately got a phone call from her: “We have cows!”
Leslie
December 24, 2005 at 5:03 pm
35Harold, thank you for the wonderful laugh! I wonder if those good people realize that nobody is going to be able to focus on the Nativity with a giant cow in the background. Ah, well. I guess it’s no worse than our choir director’s cousin who decided to replace the angel in their family’s nativity scene with a winged pig. She said it was the “Pig of the Lord”. My husband said it must have said the Porcine Creed.
Merry Christmas to all, or Seasons Greetings to any who might take offense to that greeting.
Leslie
December 24, 2005 at 5:05 pm
36Oh, and Cooper, thanks for Rudolph’s Night Off. I read it to my kids, but I don’t think they enjoyed it as much as I did. I’ll get my husband to read it, too. He’ll laugh as hard as I did.
cooper
December 24, 2005 at 5:06 pm
37David, your place is near Hendersonville? My kids went to Camp Tekoa for many years and loved it up there, the temperature being a good 10 degrees or more cooler than Charlotte during the Dog Days.
David
December 24, 2005 at 10:55 pm
38cooper,
It’s in Hendersonville. This is the first year in several that I’ve missed the glorious spring and so not-Florida summer that blesses the folk in WNC. I do plan to be up there when the mountain laurel do their thing this year. By the way, do you listen to one of the two best radio stations in the southeastern United States, WNCW? Tampa boasts the other one, WMNF, which I pick up by virtue of an antenna w/signal booster on a tall pole, marooned as I am at the moment here on the edge of the Green Swamp.
cooper
December 24, 2005 at 11:52 pm
39David, WNCW in Spindale yes, occasionally. Mostly, WFAE here in Charlotte.
In the small world department, my brother, who now lives in the next county and whose home I just returned from eating Christmas Eve dinner and doing gift exchange for the kids, used to live in Goldenrod, though he had a Winter Park address. I asked him about it and he confirmed it tonight. So as it turns out, I have been to Goldenrod, there on the edge of the Green Swamp. Wouldn’t it be great if your Jeep dug up HIS front yard during that one final fishing trip? Talk about a small world! Life is strange and full of interesting surprises, isn’t it?
Best to you and your family.
Your pal, cooper.
David
December 25, 2005 at 7:30 pm
40Cooper,
Where in Goldenrod? It’s unincorportated (they tried in the 50s and were voted down). First it was an Orlando rural route, then we got a post office in the late 50s, but it stayed R.R. 6, Orlando, then it became Winter Park street addresses even though we are 3 miles from Winter Park and still an unincorporated community, although we are disappearing like a puddle in the path of a tsunami.
Green Acres, my abode south of Clermont, is on the edge of the Green Swamp, 50 miles west of Goldenrod. The family homestead is still there, still unbulldozed, and still the family homestead, although the house across the street, which belonged to my uncle when I was a child, and was a neat Spanish mission style house, just got leveled and hauled away in construction dumpsters. I wasn’t there while the carnage was occurring, thank lobster. It still makes me sick to look across the street. I guess the day will come when our cracker house, like the woods, the groves, and the wetlands, is just unremembered history.
The swamp between Goldenrod and Winter Park is now two large subdivisions. The peat fires would burn underground for weeks when they were raping the refuge of wildcats, panthers, alligators, frogs, great blue herons, myriad swamp plants, rattlesnakes, water mocassins, and every other subtropical creature and plant to fill a child’s days (and his imagination at night).
Muddafukkas.
cooper
December 26, 2005 at 12:16 am
41David, that just breaks your heart to see that sort of thing happen. Much of Charlotte’s historical buildings are in the landfill as well, with a tasteful bronze plaque in its place to let you know there used to be a building of significance in this spot.
I’ll ask my brother about his address in Goldenrod, maybe you’ll know it. I’ll get back to you on that.
Harold
January 26, 2006 at 11:18 am
42And one month after that last comment, Democracy’s THIRD shoe has dropped in Palestine. Oh dear.