- First of all, some of you have noticed that my very own sister has turned to blackmail. I don’t know why, and I don’t know how she got a hold of those obviously doctored photographs. All that I can say is that this aggression will not stand.
- On a completely different subject, our pledge drive is going quite well. In fact, we’ve almost paid the site’s bills. Yes, it is an increasingly expensive site to run (as I’ve had to purchase both more bandwidth and storage space this year), but your generosity (or your enlightened self-interest) is going a long way towards offsetting these costs.
Thank you all so very much, really. And, er, um, keep it up.
[For those of you who don’t trust or can’t use PayPal… it really is the thought that counts. Honestly. Don’t worry about it. I don’t think it’s worth setting up a PO box or anything like that. We’re not THAT big a business around here, and as I said, we’re getting pretty close to the ol’ break-even goal…]
[Murray has suggested a “Felberpalooza” fundraiser at Grouseland for next Labor Day. I don’t think Felberpalooza should be a fundraiser. I’d prefer a giant music festival wherein we hire a motorcycle gang as our security force. Or something. You can submit musical suggestions in the Comments: Who will play Felberpalooza?]
- Let me assure you that today’s second item has nothing at all to do with the first. Nothing. I do not negotiate with cyberterrorists. Even if they’re my sister. Even if I don’t want the world to see a picture of me in a velour old Trek uniform. Even though said picture totally doesn’t exist. Er… moving on…
- In reference to yesterday’s post: It looks like John McCain has won the battle against adding an “it’s okay to torture” clause to his anti-torture amendment. Does that make the fact that he even had to battle on this one any less ridiculous? Not so much. But it’s good news.
- I have a vague, recently-recovered childhood memory of being drugged, kidnapped, and stuffed into a Star Trek uniform against my will. That might be what my sister’s referring to…
Fanny Roborat
14 comments
dee
December 15, 2005 at 7:48 pm
1I think Susie should consider just who she’s REALLY hurting by publishing said photo. Some of us have delicate constitutions, you know. And there isn’t enough brain bleach in the world to remove that image, I’m sure.
As far as the Felberpalooza musical entertainment, it’s been my experience you can never go wrong with a good polka band.
Matt
December 15, 2005 at 9:05 pm
2good . . . .polka band
oxymoron?
cooper
December 15, 2005 at 10:12 pm
3The David Glukh Klezmer Band is still not booked for Labor Day 2006. We ought to grab them while we have the chance.
Old Mother Felber
December 15, 2005 at 10:16 pm
4Oh dear. Did I teach you children nothing?
First, Susie: didn’t I tell you to never threaten without stating the ante? Sure, you’re going to blackmail him. But what are you asking in order not to do it? Can’t you remember anythiig your dear old Mom taught you?
And Adam. Faint hints of revenge and payback just don’t cut it. C’mon. Where’s the horse head in the bed? Cheeze. Amateurish.
Sometimes, I think you guys never learned a thing at my arthritic knee.
luv,
cooper
December 15, 2005 at 10:20 pm
5Chapter 14
Frances Brown turned down the lights in the den and eagerly began the slide show. Her fiancée, Dr. Terrence Rice, dutifully settled in for the latest batch of slides. He decided that tonight would be the night he would bare his soul. ‘If I’m going to do it, I should do it now’, he thought. “Fanny, you have such a gift. Just look at these slides. You make everyone smile. You can have them rolling in the aisle and eating out of your hand. Hell, you are the funniest woman that I’ve ever known. But…”
“What?” asked Fanny.
“You can’t focus for shit!”
Barreling through the late night traffic, 200 yards west and 50 feet above this soon to be animated and spirited conversation (ending in tearful apologies and yet another night of passionate and attentive lovemaking), the black Acura wove its way along the L.I.E. towards the clandestine rendezvous at the White Castle 5 miles ahead. Driving with his customary abandon, Neil Bush pondered his life so far, and realized, yet again, that life is sweet. For someone who literally didn’t know shit from shinola, he was sitting rather pretty. His oldest brother was President, which meant an endless queue of sharks, lawyers, lobbyists, dickheads and misguided patriots were pounding down his door, day after day, begging to deposit a few grand into a secret offshore account in exchange for a few good words into W’s Dumbo-like ear.
Well, sure, if they insist. I mean it’s not like I going to be offered a real job after the Savings and Loan collapse. How I avoided prison time after that, will forever be a mystery to me. Thank God Daddy had that stolen FBI file from J Edgar Hoover’s estate. Daddy tried to explain those photos with the sailor, the donkey, the Harp’s seal, the whipped cream, the whips, the naked boys and the various government officials, some of whom looked vaguely familiar, but it was lost on me. Whatever… All I know is that the average American taxpayer has a memory like a rusty sieve. How many people walking today remember I was the one that caused the $1,000,000,000 taxpayer bailout of the Silverado S & L’s back in the ‘80’s? For years I felt like I had a bulls eye painted on my back. That time I went to Tijuana, got blotto on Tequila and actually had an 8 inch bulls eye tattooed on my chest, that was sooooo funny. Hee, hee, hee, hee, hee, hee, hee, hee, hee. Mom was really pissed when I showed her, W laughed and blew coke (not Coke) out of both nostrils, and Daddy just shook his head. Oh yeah and Marvin pooped into his colostomy, which makes his shirt bulge out on the left side. Doro sat in her chair and drooled. What a family.
Ah, here we are. I hope the burgers are hot and the money’s stuffed into a black leather Prada attaché like I asked. Vladimir and Arkady have been so touchy lately. I wonder if they remember who’s boss.
To be continued…
Bob
December 15, 2005 at 11:20 pm
6Cute pictures of you and your sister! Which one are you?
Linkmeister
December 16, 2005 at 3:32 am
7Cooper, you’re not Dan Brown using a pseudonym, are you? There’s something vaguely “Da Vinci Code”-ish about that.
Susie
December 16, 2005 at 11:44 am
8Hmmm, my mailbox seems to be empty…
Tick tock, Adam. Tick Tock.
I’m going to Quebec to go skiing. But you can be sure the Adam Felber Final Frontier photo has been moved to a secure location. Translation: don’t try anything funny.
Sincerely, moo ha ha ha!,
Susie
ice weasel
December 16, 2005 at 1:49 pm
9Can hear that Adam? Can you feel the tone of that post? “I’m going to Quebec to go skiing.” Oh my, she’s not even taking your seriously. Even your own mother has shamed you in this thread.
I think it’s time for drastic action.
Adam, you need to post the photo of Susie you’ve been holding back. I know you don’t want to. I know you think it’s just escalating the situation but please, for your own good, fight back.
Auros
December 16, 2005 at 1:51 pm
10Clearly the headlining band for a show at Grouseland would have to be the Red Elvises, creators of Six-String Samurai.
ice weasel
December 16, 2005 at 5:23 pm
11So Murray, you *own* Grouseland? Wow. That’s pretty cool. I don’t even own a bike anymore but I have to say that if I had to be the propreitor of some business, owning my own biking ranch would be a cool possibility.
And you’re in PA! Always nice to see another PAer.
I’m all for Felberpalooza. Bands? Who needs stinking bands? Uppity musicians just get in the way. All we need is music, a venue and some cordial beverages.
Oh, and that picture of Adam in his fuzzy Mr. Spock outfit.
Ok, I’ll stop now.
If you need someone to design t-shirts or whatever, I hereby volunteer my services.
not that Pete
December 16, 2005 at 5:24 pm
12We could forego motorcycle gang security if all attendees were armed with one of Murray’s strictly defensive dog whackers… under the “mutually assured whackation” doctrine.
Nice reference Auros, I loved that movie!
Josh
December 16, 2005 at 6:36 pm
13hmmm, Adam, if I were you I’d threaten to link the hideous Rhino photo if she posts the Star Trek photo.
ice weasel
December 16, 2005 at 8:05 pm
14MAW
A fearsome doctrine.
Murray, “dog whackers”? Wow.
I’m speechless. Well, nearly speechless.