I’m in New York today, Long Island to be specific. Jericho, to be specificker.
Tonight, see, is my high school reunion. Uh, my, um fifth high school reunion. Yes, that’s it - it’s my fifth high school reunion.
No, no it isn’t. Let me be honest with you, the American people. It’s my second high school reunion. And that’s a fact, I promise. See, we had one a few years ago, so technically, this is the second.
In any case, talk amongst yourselves - with all the latex makeup and corsetry, getting ready might take me a while…
Fanny Roborat
24 comments
Landis
November 11, 2005 at 3:27 pm
1I just went to mine and I gotta say, it wasn’t much fun. The martini’s were expensive, the only people who showed up were people that I don’t have any contact with any more anyway. What the heck was I thinking?
Anyway, have a great time. Make sure to have a couple Manhattans. Or, as my wife discovered at her reunion, maybe 5 or 6 Long Island Ice Teas will help ease the transition back into high school days.
dee
November 11, 2005 at 3:30 pm
2Note to Jeanne: Get industrial strength Heroin-in-a-Patch™ because nothing - NOTHING - is more painful than going to your spouse’s high school reunion.
Scooby
November 11, 2005 at 3:58 pm
3My wife and I apply our patches together… we were high school sweethearts in the same class at the same school, etc…
Actually we skipped our reunion this year… $100 (+ babysitter) seemed a bit steep to reunite with people we didn’t want to stay in contact with anyway.
DouglasG
November 11, 2005 at 4:19 pm
4I have to chime in here. While I would probably agree that bringing a spouse to a HS reunion could very well be in the class of spousal abuse, I had a great time.
First, everyone has something in common. You have a common experience that is unique to the class of ###5 or ###0 whichever the case may be in this instance.
Second, everyone has changed and stayed the same. In my case, they were the same people but they had lost a lot of the BS that kept us from being friends at the time.
Third, you can discuss all of the good times you had back then. Remember the time when they pants that nerdy kid in homeroom. That was you? Ooops sorry…
If you let all the HS BS go by the way side, you can have a great time. You can reconnect to people you wished you stayed connected to. You can find out who has gained a lot of weight, lossed a lot of hair, etc. Remember that guy we pants during home room? Well he is on the radio now! He has his own blog that 4 or 5 people visit regularly. He’s a regular celebrity (almost).
Allison in Santa Cruz
November 11, 2005 at 7:20 pm
5Dee — I went with my husband to his reunion last year, and while it wasn’t the most fun I’ve ever had it wasn’t entirely horrid either. In fact, it was kinda fun people watching and guessing who were the smart kids, cheerleaders, jocks, etc. I noticed that people don’t outgrow bimbohood.
I didn’t get invited to my reunion. One of my former classmates ran into my mom at some point before the reunion and got my current address, but I never got the invite. Shows you how popular I was! Just as some people don’t outgrow bimbohood, I can’t seem to outgrow geekhood. Fortunately for me, geek is chic these days.
I bet Adam gets voted “Most Famous” of the class of 19-whatever!
Susie
November 11, 2005 at 7:20 pm
6Ha! Funny Adam.
But the thing is, people, as Adam’s sister, I have some shocking insider info…
Ready?
Adam liked High School.
And he wasn’t even a cheerleader!
He had lots of friends, and his class very tight, very smart and very supportive.
Yeah, totally freakin’ bizarre, right?
Serge Wautier
November 12, 2005 at 9:07 am
7Huh! Typical ‘merican attitude ! “Let’s be honets with the ‘merican people [but let’s not hesitate to lie to others]”. I BLAME YOU, Adam Felber. Because had you had no ‘merican readers, you would have sticked to your lie : 5th meeting. Instead of 2nd. Shame on you !
craig
November 12, 2005 at 6:16 pm
8A friend’s spouse went to his his 15th reunion pretending that SHE had been a member of the class. (She’d never met any of them.) Several of the popular people in the class were even sure that they “remembered” her. My friend and his spouse laughed the whole way home.
hedera
November 13, 2005 at 1:08 am
9I attended a couple of my HS reunions and then gave up. Trouble is, I’ve moved on, and the people who mainly attended the reunion haven’t; they still live in the town they all grew up in, selling cars or insurance or whatever. Not that I ever had much in common with any of them. Maybe Adam got on better in high school than I did; high school in my day was not kind to very bright girls who liked to think and enjoyed verbal repartee, and it made me kind of a loner.
Besides, now that my parents are gone and we’ve sold the house, I’d have to rent a motel room in the town to attend a reunion, and that’s more money than it’s worth to me.
I recently attended a reunion of our high school/junior college choir, and there I had a great time! Those were the people I enjoyed.
cooper
November 13, 2005 at 2:31 pm
10High school is like the Japanese saying: “The nail that sticks its head up, gets hammered down.” Kinds of stifles innovation, I’ve always thought…
Murray
November 13, 2005 at 11:43 pm
11With in a week of graduating HS, I flew to NYC and worked the summer there. Then college, grad school, work, work ,work. When I went to my 25th (10 years ago) it was the 1st time I’d seen any of them since we graduated. The first thing I wondered was, where are all of the people I went to school with and why did they send their parents to this reunion? As far as spouses go, my wife Jane had a great time and made friends with lots of the folks who wouldn’t have much to do with me back then. High school is a strange time and I feel sorry for those who reached their peak there (many of the popular kids). The confidence I lacked in HS I had 25 years later, the ability to detect BS has been greatly honed, and I have a much better grasp on what is important than I did as a HS student who knew everything.
The tough part was loosing those extra 10 pounds the morning of the reunion.
cooper
November 14, 2005 at 12:43 am
12Scott McClellan strolls up to the stage, savoring the moment, knowing this is the day he’s been waiting for through these last five hellacious years. He carefully places the talking points on the podium and walks three steps past. He turns his back to the pack of yapping news hounds, drops trou and moons the audience, pivoting left and then right so everyone in the crowd gets the full effect. He pulls he’s pants up, tightens his belt and proceeds to the microphone.
Scanning the dreary paragraphs of obfuscation, he tosses them over his shoulder. “That being communicated, I’ll take questions”.
Daniel Schorr: Scott, what the fuck?
Mr. McClellan: Oh, I just wanted everyone to witness the fact that I’m not wearing Depends. I know it may be hard to believe, but I do actually have a conscience. Standing up here and lying to you as I do day in and day out, I piss myself from pure guilt. Great product, Depends.
Jeff Gannon: Scott could you do that again, I was fumbling with my tie?
Helen Thomas: Yes, Scott, do it again! Whoohoo!
David Green: Uh, Scott, about the secret CIA prisons, what is the administration’s position on the validity of the story last week in the Washington Post?
Mr. McClellan: The administration’s position is that we cannot comment on any method or techniques that may be currently employed while we’re engaged in the War on Terrorism. But as you may have surmised, most of the members of this administration are lying sacks of shit. The prisons are located in Poland, Romania, Syria, Egypt, Saudi Arabia, Uzbekistan, and Somalia. Rumors that Israel categorically refused to participate are correct. Techniques include joint separation and anal raping of all male detainees with electric cattle prods.
Jeff Gannon: Scott, any photos?
“Stretch”: The administration seems to be engaged in a series of shell games and mis-directions aimed at distracting the American public from their incompetent response to Katrina, Rita, the Helen Miers nomination, the war in Iraq, the budget deficit, the massive debt load heaped upon the future generations, global warming, stem cell research, Avian Flu pandemic, Homeland Security, non-funding of No Child Left Behind… Did I miss anything?
Mr. McClellan: Yes, Stretch, you missed a lot, believe me a lot. It should be obvious to even the casual observer that George W. Bush is the most incompetent President since Woodrow Wilson, after the stroke. Face it folks, he is pure “T” Texas Dumb. You have no idea how great it feels to say that. Yeehaw!!!
Garth McKinsey: Scott, what gives? You’ve had an epiphany and you’re experimenting with some sort of “truth” concept? Is that it?
Mr. McClellan: Actually, I’m happy to announce that my first born has managed to dig her way out of her bunker, where she has been held since Inauguration, using only a metal spoon and unbelievable grit and determination. What a trooper! She and the rest of my family are safely hidden in one of Scott McClellan’s secret undisclosed locations. Two can play at that game, Mr. Heart-attack-waiting-to-happen. And with that happy announcement, I hereby resign as the Bush Administration’s Official flak catcher. I’m out of here! I’m FREE!!!.
Beep! Beep! Beep! Beep! Beep! …and for NPR news, I’m Snigdha Prakash.
Scott: What? I was dreaming. You mean, I’m NOT free? DAMN!
Linkmeister
November 14, 2005 at 2:18 am
13My family and I left town 3 days after graduation. I haven’t been back since. This year would be a 37th reunion, so I doubt if there is one. The 40th would be interesting, in a peculiar sort of way.
It amuses me that the people who register from that class at Classmates and Reunion.com are the geekier types. I only recognize one athlete’s name in those databases.
Mary
November 14, 2005 at 11:59 am
14Linkmeister- you’ve actually checked those databases?
I haven’t attended a HS reunion. Maybe if they have a 35th or 40th I’ll go. There are some people I would really enjoy seeing. But, I’ll leave my spouse at home. No reason for him to suffer through it
Linkmeister
November 14, 2005 at 2:18 pm
15Mary, you can’t avoid them. Once you register you get continual e-mail whenever anyone from your specified range of class years has any activity at all. Fortunately, the people who fall into the 1964-1968 range are pretty set in their ways and don’t do much.
Deb
November 14, 2005 at 3:50 pm
16Jericho - what’s that, exit 42ish on the LIExpressway? I grew up in Dix Hills (Exit 51). I haven’t been on “the island” in at least ten years and have no plans to go to a high school reunion.
Yikes! I need to stop thinking about high school - I’m starting to think with a new yawk accent and feel an urge to wear a slimy huckapoo shirt and earth shoes!
tess
November 14, 2005 at 5:22 pm
17From the sounds of things, I’d be better off skipping any reunions I actually get invited to. I was unpleasant in high school, and quite frankly I’m still pretty curmudgeonly.
cooper
November 14, 2005 at 9:41 pm
18Deb, forgive me, but I’m reminded of an old Joe Piscopo routine where he finds out the person he’s talking to is from New Jersey. “Oh, yeah? What exit?”
Leslie
November 14, 2005 at 9:52 pm
19I don’t know, Tess. Adam seems to enjoy his, and even though I was terribly intense in high school, I finally managed to loosen up (and grow up) by my 10th and 20th reunions and have fun. I enjoyed visiting with some of the people, seeing how much some of the people had changed, and how little others had. I hope there’s a 30th next year. I’ve moved to North Carolina (hey Cooper!) from Florida, so I completely lose track of them all in between times.
Kelli
November 15, 2005 at 11:37 am
20Cooper,
You are a strange cookie.
I like it, keep it up.
Jim
November 15, 2005 at 1:58 pm
21Cooper, Adam, and Magic Blogsite Keeper…WTF?
I noticed that Cooper’s latest installment (Heelarious!) had a delayed (my, that word has an different ring to it these days…wonder why?) posting.
Is the WP-HashCash stoned? Is Adam threatened (nah-he doesn’t seem the type)? Did this need to pass through the legal team to ensure that Cooper doesn’t end up detained?
That must be it!
Keep on truckin’ Cooper. You can channel Gannon like no one I know. (Ewww, sorry.)
Pete IVDL
November 15, 2005 at 2:05 pm
22Coop, like a fine wine, it just gets better and bedder an’ fucken bedda… Adam, next time life takes you out of circulation, set the microphone up for the one, the only…
Harriet Miers (The Yellar Rose of Texas)
November 15, 2005 at 7:53 pm
23Hey look,I’ve only been out of the news for a couple of weeks and they’re calling me “Helen” now? Jeez, DC is such a cruel town!
And between you and me, Bush is a putz.
David
November 15, 2005 at 11:50 pm
24Cooper ain’t a strange cookie, by any stretch of the imagination. He’s just one tuned in dude who stretches his imagination, much to the delight of Felbernauts everywhere.