I’m a very busy man today, and I hereby apologize to all you readers for “having a life.” It’s inconsiderate of me. I’ll work on it, I promise.

But I thought I’d drop by and mention this:

PANAMA CITY (Reuters) - The U.S. government is aggressively taking action to protect Americans from terrorism but “we do not torture,” President Bush said on Monday, responding to criticism of reported secret CIA prisons and the handling of terrorism suspects…

…”Anything we do to that end in this effort, any activity we conduct, is within the law,” Bush said. “We do not torture. And therefore we’re working with Congress to make sure that as we go forward, we make it possible, more possible to do our job.”

Vice President Dick Cheney has been spearheading an effort on Capitol Hill to have the CIA exempt from an amendment by Arizona Republican Sen. John McCain that would ban torture and inhumane treatment of prisoners.

The exemption would cover the secret prisons that the Post said were located in several eastern European democracies and other countries where key al Qaeda captives are being kept.

“I’m confident that when people see the facts, that they’ll recognize that we’ve got more work to do and that we must protect ourselves in a way that is lawful,” Bush said.

So… here’s my question: What exactly, specifically, do we want to do to our secret prisoners at our until-recently-secret prisons that John McCain’s amendment would prevent?

Anyone?

It’s a perfectly serious question, though one that might have some funny answers. My guess is that it involves some of those “inhumane treatments.” You know, the ones that aren’t “torture,” per se, just things that make prisoners feel, um, “uncomfortable” enough to suddenly want to talk about things that they hadn’t planned on talking about in order to make the “discomfort” (not “pain,” mind you) stop.

Torturous? Maybe. Tortuous? You betcha.