Before you out-of-touch, America-hating leftists start raising your fists in triumph at the Republican meltdown of these past couple of weeks, keep one thing in mind:
The left isn’t even part of the dialog. This is largely between the Republican establishment and… um… the Republican establishment. It’s a big tent, and right now they’re having a free-for-all tag-team deathmatch inside. We’re somewhere just off the fairgrounds, running a deserted little booth where you can win cheap stuffed animals for tossing a ring around a beer bottle.
Still, it’s a lot of fun just to hear the screams fiiltering through the warm, cotton candy-scented evening. The Arrogance Smackdown has been pretty exciting. The conservative establishment thinks it can put the President of the United States in a sleeper hold over judicial nominees! But look out - President Bush has grabbed a folding chair named Harriet Miers (who coincidentally looks like she’s taken a couple of folding chairs to the face) and BAM! Huge blow to the horse he rode in on!
As a sideshow, longtime Dark Lord but recent colander Karl Rove appears to have sprung another leak. What do you do when your conservative intellectuals are hopping mad at you? Reassure the other half of that bizarre Faustian bargain, the religious right. Sadly, Rove forgot that people have started doubting that he can still choke a man from across a room just by pinching two gloved fingers together. So now the Senate’s going to put James Dobson under oath so we can watch him scanning the interior of the Capitol dome for incoming lightning bolts.
With all this pornography for liberals coming into our homes, you might have to Tivo the misadventures of DeLay and Frist. But don’t for a moment believe that this has created affection for Democrats. It’s only created an opening, and the left has proved to be pretty adept at missing those and running directly into walls, whether or not the conservatives have painted a realistic-looking tunnel on ‘em.





25 comments
ice weasel
October 10, 2005 at 7:04 pm
1Just to be a contrarian Adam, I won’t agree with you, mildly. I think your last sentence is the most important. However, even as spineless and clueless those moral relativists of the DNC/DLC/DCCC/DDD/D’n'D, whatever the hell they are calling themselves these days, are, it’s only reasonable to keep in mind that the buzzface they seem reluctant to thrust their faces into is a finely tuned and well oiled machine of the right.
Does this mean that in being more bereft of ideas than your average invertebrate that they’ll succeed? Hell no.
But I hope that along with finding some backbone, some of them find some judgment and use it. There are some things, such as “solving” the problem in Irag that will benefit “us” or our side, not a bit.
Yes, the sheeple of America love to stomp the messenger and our candidate/s need not be the ones’ carrying the rethug mail.
Welcome back and thanks.
Linkmeister
October 10, 2005 at 7:10 pm
2Yeah, but can’t we enjoy it a little bit?
Murray
October 10, 2005 at 7:10 pm
3Ice, I assume you mean “buzzsaw”
Well, Republicans being ruthless makes them the most adapt at ripping each other’s throats out.
The Democrats being gutless insures that they will still cringe in the corner even if they are happy to see the carnage inflicted on others.
And Americans are still idiots.
cooper
October 10, 2005 at 10:21 pm
4Ann Coulter slips quietly into the chapel, glancing back several times to make sure she’s not being tailed. She finds her contact midway down the aisle, slips in beside him and, as she kneels down into the prayer position, her 57 year old knees crack and splinter and she bites her lip to the bleeding point to keep from screaming out in agony. She makes an oath - “Sweet Jesus, the next 4 operations will have to be joint replacements. Besides, another face lift will most likely leave my navel higher than my tits. New knees and hips will have me back swaggering with the best of the neocons.”
Codename TB clears his throat, bringing Ann back into the moment. His head bowed, eyes closed and hands clasp in front of his lips, he leans inperceptibly towards her and begins his story. “Harriet Miers is not gay.”
“Hard to believe and even harder to prove to the Uber-Trogs. I’ll need rock solid evidence” Ann whispered hoarsely. (Maybe the 5th operation will be to clip the polyps from my vocal chords, she thought.)
“I have it all right here, but first you must do something for me.”
To be continued.
hedera
October 11, 2005 at 12:46 am
5Ooooo, cooper, when’s the next installment??
Pete IVDL
October 11, 2005 at 2:50 am
6Yeah, I can’t wait to see how the Dems manage to once again snatch defeat from the jaws of victory on this one (well, actually, it’s the first gravitational throes of a possible political stellar compression by the neocons, but Darth Rover may still be able to modify gravity itself to prevent a Republican Singularity Event. Consider it a possible conservative neutron star event instead. My parenthetical point here is that it’s more than one event possibility.).
OK Coop, next instalment please. Does Ms Coulter finally go for the ‘lift and get her first pubic beard? Or will she opt for the more comfortable swagger-enabling body parts? I can’t wait…
Auros
October 11, 2005 at 4:20 am
7The Dems need to adopt two points from Rahm Emanuel’s Five Point Plan — I’d favor healthcare and energy independence, since the former is now an immediate concern or long-term worry of every middle class worker, and the latter is politically popular lately — and hammer on them like mad. They can trot out the other three points from time to time and christen the whole plan something like “the New Democratic Covenant” — at least as catchy as “The Contract
OnWith America”, and emphasizes those religious notes that insecure Christian swing voters like to hear…dee
October 11, 2005 at 8:18 am
8Auros — call Dr. Dean and tell him you’re available for a consult, because “The New Democratic Covenant” is brilliant.
Mary
October 11, 2005 at 9:11 am
9While I can’t see anyone in the DNC as a worthy leader at this point, I still am enjoying the Republican meltdown. Now if Miss Ann would just succumb to the anesthesia………………..
Coop- can’t wait for the next installment.
dee
October 11, 2005 at 2:22 pm
10Oooooh, Auros - that was FAST!
http://www.dailykos.com/storyonly/2005/10/11/14233/862
Pete IVDL
October 11, 2005 at 6:01 pm
11Dee: yeah, Auros is fast. Unlike the Democrats.
So, let me see if I’ve got this right. The D’s have been mewling in the aisles ever since Bush “won” in 2001, complaining of GOP ethics, the need for basic healthcare, all that stuff, and bitching about the incompetence of the gummint. Now, all those complaints have been realised. Publically. Noisily. Wonderfully. And the democrats’ response right now, at this critical point : let’s get together and see if we can decide on a time to discuss organising a steering committee to evaluate the possibility of sitting down together to formulate a plan to respond to the current opportunity - say, next year sometime? That good for you?
Gaaaahhh. Sorry, but the Democrats don’t deserve to win the next election.
Sorry, I get carried away with this kind of incompetence. All their pigeons have come home to roost, and they’re still squabbling over the kind of paper the plans for the pigeonhouse will be drawn on.
Murray, your mantra still holds. Even worse, since Democrats are Americans too (yeah, yeah, I know, they’re actually America haters), they’re spineless AND stupid.
I’m going to join Mythbusters so I can go blow something up.
Murray
October 11, 2005 at 6:31 pm
12Auros,
Excellent, catchy and sounds religious, besides covenant implies responsibility on both sides.
Coop,
So what favor did Ann have to perform this time? (I’m sure they don’t keep her around only for her penetratingly brilliant mind).
Jim
October 11, 2005 at 7:46 pm
13Apparently this web site is where The soon to be honorable? justice Miers applied for her job.
I thinks it is affiliated with whitehouse.org.
http://www.cronyjobs.com/
Jim
October 11, 2005 at 7:47 pm
14Edited because I “think” rather than “thinks.”
Bob
October 11, 2005 at 8:10 pm
15If you’re getting that tingly sense of deja vu, it’s because Bill Clinton introduced the New Covenant in his acceptance speech at the 1992 Democratic Convention; you can find the speech here. But the phrase never seemed to catch on.
You could say that the Arc of the Covenant was short.
dee
October 11, 2005 at 9:09 pm
16Jim — just remember the words of Rene Descartes cousin, Bubba Descartes “I thinks, therefore I is.”
cooper
October 11, 2005 at 11:52 pm
17Chapter 2
January, 2003
Scooter Libby slammed down the trunk lid, hopped into his high-toned yellow runabout, and began the final leg of his monthly milk run. He looked both ways before entering K Street rush hour traffic - when isn’t it rush hour in DC? In the trunk was the usual $340,000 in 20’s 50’s and 100’s. His next stop an abandoned, broken down warehouse in Arlington, owned by Cadmus Enterprises & The Dedham Archival Institute, shell companies for the Project of the New American Century and the CIA, respectively. He was running late, but what the hell, it was just that lying asshole Ahmad Chalabi waiting for his monthly stipend. “Fuck him”! Scooter smiled as his realized he’d said it out loud this time. That clueless towel head can never stay on message. He always has to ad lib try to impress that shameless whore of a reporter for the New York Times. Judith Miller had bought every word Chalabi said, as if that sorry piece of shit were channeling God Almighty himself. Libby had to admit that it sure seemed to be greasing the Wheels of War as far as opening the door to Iraq. W’s wet dream of revenge dove tailed nicely with Neocon ambitions in the Middle East. I wonder, who did she have to screw to get that Pulitzer Prize? I bet he (or she or both) is ugly as a stump fence. They’d have to be to want sex with that scudz. She’s been making eyes at me lately and vigorously rubbing my crotch in the Executive Cloak Room, but I saving myself for the new Marine on the West Wing Gate.
Ms. Miller in fact had become a bit of a problem for Scooter and he was busy formulating a plan to put her on ice for 2 or 3 months. Maybe Karl would have some ideas…
Ok, this is Cooper here. Why don’t we make this a novella written by committee? Who wants to do Chapter 3? dee; Mary; hedera; Murray, Ice Weasel; Pete; Adam? Anyone and everyone is welcome to go next.
hedera
October 12, 2005 at 12:30 am
18I’ll never make a fiction writer, cooper - I can’t stand fiction about people I can’t stand, and boy, I can’t stand any of these people!
Pete IVDL
October 12, 2005 at 5:26 am
19Ah, Coop, don’t give up now - not when it’s staying interesting! I always knew Chalabi was the grease in the wheels of war. This is reading like a good (and I do mean good) Jack Ryan story. Now for the anal sex and cream cheese scene…
Now, who’s the Good Guy? There is a Good Guy, right? Even though there isn’t one in real life (apart from Adam, I mean, but he’s way too busy to play himself, surely?)
Mary
October 12, 2005 at 9:42 am
20Me? Write? I is not that literate. Nor so inventive. I’ll think about it once I wake up.
Dee- I thought Bubba Descartes had coined the term “I ams what I ams.”
Murray
October 12, 2005 at 11:15 am
21Mary, no that was Popeye Descartes, or perhaps some guy named “Sweet Potato(e)”
“Is our children learning?” - W.
“No they isn’t, Mr. President”. Bill Mahr
(Jim, you is in good company).
Murray
October 12, 2005 at 11:20 am
22True story.
Last year I subbed for a 3rd grade teacher who was out for half a day. When she came back one of the students said. “I done went to the office” The teacher corrected him, “I done gone to the office”.
OooK.
cooper
October 12, 2005 at 10:37 pm
23Murray, I’m glad I done gradgiated.
Pete IVDL
October 14, 2005 at 10:18 am
24Three yeers ago, I coont evin spel injuneer. Now I are one! (With apologies to Bob!)
David
October 15, 2005 at 9:04 pm
25Coop,
You’ve got to keep it going. It’s just too damned good, and the material that is going to unfold in the next week is like, well, a fucking treasure trove. And don’t forget Bolton’s visits to Miller while she was in jail. Couple that with Libby’s love letter to Miller, and some sort triangle or troisome seems almost unavoidable. You have the gift….