There isn’t one yet. At least not one that we’re involved in. But it’s worth thinking about. I’ve been looking it over…
Iraq isn’t really working out as we’d planned (though “planned” might be too strong a word). It’s messy. It’s a little embarrassing when other countries come to visit, like having a cat with poor litterbox habits. Sure, other countries would like to socialize with us, but what’s that smell? Iraq is becoming our slovenly cat, and rather than resolving ourselves to having limited social prospects until Mittens buys the farm, maybe we oughta go shopping for something new.
Ethiopia’s perfect. They could be the same al-Qaeda magnet that Iraq’s become. Fight ‘em there so we don’t have to etc. But there are a couple of other significant advangtages:
For one, they’ve got exactly the right amount of Muslims. They’re at about 50%, which means terrorists will show up, but they won’t be completely comfortable. 12% of Ethiopians are animists, fer godsakes! They’re not going to harbor any baddies - the trees might squeal on ‘em. Like Iraq, we could kick their military’s ass without having to roll down our windows. Things are already kind of messy there, so it’s not like we’ll be blamed for destroying a functional infrastructure. And that’s just a broad overview. There are probably a bunch of other really great things about invading them that we could figure out once we got started.
So all we need’s a reason. Let’s find one. That’s your task, readers. Find us a good reason to go into Ethiopia. Something about Eritrea, maybe. Or maybe we’ve got intelligence that they’re messing around with atoms or saying mean things about Jesus or something. Or maybe there’s another country in the area I’m overlooking that’d be just as good. Finland’s pretty vulnerable - could we convince the terrorists to make the trip? Be creative, and remember that any explanation only has to hold until we get boots on the ground.
After that we’ll be safely At War, and the only complaints will come from people who hate America and refuse to support our troops.
I’ll be back from Chicago tomorrow (the show was aces, thank you very much), and I expect you think-tankers to be well on your way to getting this thing nailed down.
Fanny Roborat
62 comments
Ibid
August 26, 2005 at 4:07 pm
1Ethiopia is a terrorist haven on the same lines of Iraq. Ethiopia and neighbor Somalia are very … I dunno, tribal? You can hardly call them countries. It’s a bunch of warlord controlled areas with no real relation to where a cartographer once drew some lines.
Brother fights brother until there’s a feud with another family. Then it’s our family vs your family. Until another tribe (collection of families) messes with your tribe. Then it’s tribe vs tribe until someone picks a fight with your warlord. etc.
The Taliban has made efforts in the past to move into Somalia and Ethiopia and were driven out by the locals. They may be starving, but they’re not ready to blow themselves up for a loon in a cave.
SeattleDan
August 26, 2005 at 4:47 pm
2Well,if Mussolini could do it, why cant we?
Serge Wautier
August 26, 2005 at 5:03 pm
3Dunno. Ask Pat R. He’s a refreshingly innovative kinda guy…
Bobo
August 26, 2005 at 5:08 pm
4I know the answer. My father-in-law fought in the Korean Conflict (an oldie, but a goodie) and he said that there were lots of Ethiopians there fighting with the UN (those dopes again, that’s reason enough). He said they were great soldiers, and get this, they each wore a leopard skin over one shoulder.
They wear/wore fur!! If that isn’t enough to justify conflict in the eyes of some people then those people aren’t standing on Rodeo Drive with a peanut butter jar full of pig’s blood in the jacket pocket!
The Finns, a few thousand, kept the Russians at bay during the entire Second World War. Please don’t mess with them.
MeanMrMustard
August 26, 2005 at 5:23 pm
5Well, isn’t it obvious? They’ve got no coastline!
I mean, think about it. What other landlocked countries can you think of? Afghanistan: home of Al Qaeda. Uzbekistan: notorious violator of human rights.
Niger: supplier of yellowcake uranium to Saddam Hussein. Switzerland: home of all of those Swiss people.What more reason do we need?
Chaz
August 26, 2005 at 5:41 pm
6This one’s easy. The letters in Ethiopia can be rearranged to spell OPIATE HI. It’s code. We can combine the lightning-quick results of the War on Terror with the devastating efficiency of the War on Drugs to get this thing over in a jiffy.
Bob
August 26, 2005 at 5:42 pm
7You don’t need a reason, just a bumper sticker.
Ethiopia: Because We’re Only Waist-Deep In Trouble.
Mike Z
August 26, 2005 at 5:51 pm
8It might be fun to hear all the news anchors and pundits say “Addis Ababa” over and over. Plus, Ethiopia is right next door to Djibouti, which is also fun to say. At least much more so than Kirkuk, Mosul, and (lamest of all) Bagdad. Even the name “Iraq” is kinda dumb. It always makes people think of the 80’s muscle car, the Iroc.
I don’t know why exactly, but the al Qaida types tend to shun the cold, so Finland’s probably out of the running.
Jim
August 26, 2005 at 6:18 pm
9Some Ethiopians claim to have the ark of the covenant in a small out of the way eastern orthodox church.
It should be obvious to all that Amerka, as the chosen country of Gawd, should be housing the ten commandments. Then we can tell the courts to shove it while we display photos of the original tablets in every public space.
Also we could liberate some good recipes for Injera bread.
ice weasel
August 26, 2005 at 6:45 pm
10I agree with Bob. Given the support this Iraq misadventure has had, all we need are a few bumper stickers/soundbytes. So here goes…
Let’s stop this Rastafari shit at the source. Attack Ethiopia in ‘05!
Ethiopia: Their capital is named after a bad Swedish band
Ethiopia War 2005: It’s not just for Angelina Jolie’s kids anymore
WAR: Whip All Rastafarians
Ethiopia: Africa’s hotspot for more than 40 years. Drought in the 70’s, famine in the 80’s, civil unrest in the 90’s, and battle with the US in the 00’s
Mojo
August 26, 2005 at 7:09 pm
11I propose “liberating” Switzerland because they’re neutral and “If you’re not with us, you’re against us”. Heck, by failing to send troops to Iraq they’ve already pretty much declared war on us! Also, we’d get to use all those Cold War plans for an amphibious invasion across Lake Geneva.
I’m afraid Ethiopia has one crippling deficiency as a potential invadee. They don’t really have anything we want. Although it goes without saying that their motives are always pure as snow, the current regime can’t really stay interested in a war unless there’s also some stuff laying around that we’d like to have. Iraq has an ocean of oil, Switzerland has lots of banks full of money and gold, Ethiopia has qat; no contest.
madbard
August 26, 2005 at 7:25 pm
12there is a giant tunnel between tora bora to addis abba. let’s go get bin Laden!
oh wait, sorry that’s a reason to NOT go to war with a country. or at least do a half-hearted leviathan rollover then go find something else to attack. like france.
Elliott
August 26, 2005 at 7:50 pm
13we should invade France! if not for their wimpy foreign policy(though they commited the only act of terrorism on New Zealand’s soil), then at least to liberate all of the extra wine they are destroying to keep the price of French wine at a premium. admitidly, I am a winemaker, but c’mon, it’s not the free market capitalism that we have here in amurika. we need to show them the true path to enlightenment.
Murray
August 26, 2005 at 7:51 pm
14Mojo’s right, Ethiopia’s not got all that much we want. We went into Iraq to get oil. OK, we screwed the pooch on that one, but if we are going to war again we need to get something out of it.
So how about South Africa? DeBeers diamonds! Even though diamonds are common and cheep the DeBeers cartel has kept the prices sky high for decades because they can. We slide in, take over, and become rich on the diamonds, no worries about insurgents shutting down pipelines or other such shit..
As far as a rational? Hell! None of the ones given for Iraq passed the “Two seconds think about it test”. Uhh,,, how about?
“We have to invade South Africa because Martian Death Rays will kill your children and paralyze you from the eyebrows down, if we don’t”.
(Prove it can’t happen).
On to the next glorious war! Hurrah!
tim
August 26, 2005 at 7:59 pm
15I’m looking at Uruguay. Oh, sure, you could pick any name for a country, but no, you have to copy Paraguay. Like I really need to spend my busy day figuring out which one is which. Let’s just go in and take over, and then we can call it Really South Carolina.
Steve
August 26, 2005 at 8:45 pm
16Any oil?
dee
August 26, 2005 at 9:45 pm
17So all we need’s a reason
Hahahahahahaha……”reason”…..hahahahahhaha.
Good one.
DDoubleSStandard
August 26, 2005 at 10:00 pm
18i think the United States of GWB should attack and make Ethiopia into the 51th state
why?
because, we need a state that begins with the letter “e”
while this may seem like a stupid reason to your readers please bear with the following thought
GWB is the C-in-C of the armed forces and if he doesn’t have an easy to understand rationale for war (i.e. a lie) then how do you expect America to conquer the world
thank you for your patience and understand “Bush Binary Logic”
David
August 26, 2005 at 10:18 pm
19Ice Weasel was looking strong until I read Dee’s post.
I’m inclined to think domestic this time, especially considering what Salt Lake Rocky said to the peaceniks AND the conventioneers. I mean with our smart bombs, we’ll be able to spare the Cathedral, maybe just take out the mayor’s office during business hours. An enemy of the state is certainly fair game. Probably have Pat “007″ Robertson’s blessing.
Abner Cadaver
August 26, 2005 at 10:56 pm
20The Italians did it so it must be kind of fun.
tess
August 26, 2005 at 11:17 pm
21No, we need a reason — and as always, that reason is “the need to subjugate all brown people.” They’re plenty brown in Ethiopia and we need a military victory one way or another, so we need to invade under some flimsy pretext, like “bringing freedom” or “because they’re leader’s an evil dictator.” Any monetary value we happen to add to our economy would just be icing on the cake for a military victory we need to boost moral in Iraq and in the place we’ve forgotten about already who harbored the people who attacked us. You know the country I’m talking about.
cooper
August 26, 2005 at 11:31 pm
22Ethiopia is definitely out. Their Aids virus is a different strain from ours - can’t be mixing that shit.
Luxemburg would get my vote. Every since Bush referred to Jean-Claude Junker as “a piece of work”, the air has been ripe with the Benelux stench of Gouda cheese. I tell you their spies are among us!
nigel
August 27, 2005 at 12:32 am
23Clearly Venezuela is a done deal. Along with Iran and (formerly) Iraq, they want to peg their oil to the Euro (!) for christsake. Or sell cheap to poor Americans. What a whacky socialist idea. Take ‘em out. It’s just a matter of time to develop some complex CIA scheme to catch them planting incendiary medium-range missiles in Cuba or converting al-Quaeda in Guantanamo to militant Catholicism. Papism, Muhammedism, it’s all the same. Not like good old bible-thumpin Baptism. Love thy neighbor, damn straight, or hold ‘em under if they won’t cooperate…
Luxembourg may be the model for “The Mouse that Roared” and they’re pretty ingenious people–I drop 1000 bucks at Hilti regularly without a whimper and wouldn’t mess with em. Same with Switzerland. Einstein was born there for chrissakes and no doubt they could cobble together a Bomb in, say, 2 or 3 weeks if they haven’t been stockpiling them along with Kruggerrands…
Same with Finland. They’re well known to be inbred, and from my experience this means inbred in a very physically fit, intelligent, and vaguely psychotic way. No wonder the Russians wouldn’t mess with them.
I nominate Kazakhistan. It’s strategically situated between Russia and China, in case we really want to piss those ex-Commies off, and those ^%!$%@#$%@! Canadians (don’t some of them speak French?) are apparently letting PetroChina buy all the oil without a whimper.
Or Qatar. It’s got a shitload of natural gas and not much else.
Man, this foreign policy is no problem if you come from a background in the “aawl bidnez”…
nigel
August 27, 2005 at 12:52 am
24Oooh, or howbout this!:
NIGER
They’re starvin! Cain’t fight! Great PR! Could be disguised as a humanitarian mission (why do the nice men all all have kevlar helmets, mummy?
Hopelessly drown and otherwise muddle all that Valerie Plame nonsense. Corner the market on uranium. Sell a lot of anti-malarial drugs! (hold on lemme check my stocks…)
No brainer.
nigel
August 27, 2005 at 1:15 am
25Whoops. I see that MeanMrMustard suggested Niger yesterday, then crossed it out for some reason. Maybe too obvious. Plus they lack strategic ports.
IL
August 27, 2005 at 2:22 am
26What about the Northern Mariana Islands?
With 150,000 troops we should have no trouble with a country with population of 80,362.
So what that they are already almost part of the US. I doubt anyone in the White House knows it. Afterward, we could say we were just checking in to make sure everyone is ok.
Did anyone else know we had a department called: ‘US Department of the Interior, Office of Insular Affairs’?
IL
August 27, 2005 at 2:29 am
27Or maybe American Samoa. I am sure that our President would agree that any place that is an ‘unincorporated and unorganized territory’ must need help fast (no need to include the ‘ of the US’ part at the end).
IL
August 27, 2005 at 2:45 am
28Actually, after careful study, clearly the best place to invade is this.
By the write-up, it is quite a mess and it needs our help fast.
historyenne
August 27, 2005 at 3:14 am
29There’s oil in Ethiopia! I mean, there’s not, but surely we can find some scientist somewhere who’d swear that there is in return for a few million of our tax dollars. And what’s a few million in the grand scheme of things?
Thompson
August 27, 2005 at 6:27 am
30IL, I wouldn’t rely upon that write-up. It claims the world is thought to be 4.55 billion years old. Obviously, this flies in the face of the conventional thought that it can’t be more than 10,000 years old. You’d have to accept scientific fact to believe that site, and facts are just plain silly.
Huh. Just a couple of years ago, the ratio of women to men was in favor of women. No matter how I slice that particular shift, the explanation disturbs me…
ice weasel
August 27, 2005 at 11:24 am
31And not to derail this fine thread but what a mess NPR is becoming. jonah goldberg to fill for Daniel Schorr?! The reporting is getting to be more and more like the worst of the MSM. It’s bad when I just turn it off because I hear the same crap I hear on other networks there. NPR used to different. They had higher standards.
Now…well, are they another casualty of the bush takeover?
David
August 27, 2005 at 12:20 pm
32ice weasel,
My sentiments exactly, especially NPR headline news, which comes off at times as just another stenographic service for the Bush administration. Since there are alternatives like local community radio (WMNF in Tampa, while it carries NPR headline news, also still carries terrific news/opinion programming), Link TV, the Al Franken Show on Sundance, and Air America. But the loss of NPR as a vital source of information and insight really hurts, especially for people without ready access to these other sources. I can only guess at the level of pain for the people at NPR who still care.
At this point there is no aspect of mainstream life that the bastards at Team Bush aren’t hell bent on corrupting or killing
Bob
August 27, 2005 at 12:30 pm
33I want to see Scott Simon’s list of Dan Schorr fill-ins. I figure if Jonah Goldberg’s on it, maybe we all are.
jim p
August 27, 2005 at 2:45 pm
34Simple. Solomon. Queen of Sheba. By rights, Ethiopia belongs to our Hypochristian Heritage. Plus, their poverty, if it were widely reported, would be a threat to Americans feeling okay about themselves.
jim p
Pete IVDL
August 27, 2005 at 5:34 pm
35I know Niger (sorry, neeszhere) has been suggested and discarded, but it has a French-Speaking Population. Now that’s killing two birds with one stone - stop the yellowcake lie-inducing possible dictatorship AND liberate the Nigerians from the language of the Cheese-Eating Surrender Monkeys. Plus, it would be a Foothold. Or something.
hedera
August 27, 2005 at 5:39 pm
36I have a really revolutionary suggestion. Let’s not invade anybody at all. In fact, let’s quit being the World Cop, pull all the soldiers back from everywhere overseas (the locals keep complaining about them all the time anyhow) and put them to work here, doing the sort of things the WPA did in the thirties: Building schools. Repairing roads and bridges. Taking photos of America to record us for posterity. Collecting people’s stories. Building infrastructure in National Parks. Helping people who need it. And in the meantime, oil conservation and alternative energy generation measures up the wazoo, so by the time we run out of oil we won’t care.
South Korea’s worried about North Korea? Let them work it out. Germany’s now rich enough to buy Russia if it gives them any trouble. Iraq wants to be a Shiite theocracy (and it apparently does)? Their problem.
The only major problem with this is that we’d have to engineer regime change here to make it happen…
cooper
August 27, 2005 at 7:17 pm
37Oooooooooooooooh, hedera. I’m afraid that last entry put you on the High Treason Homeland Security Watch List. You’d better sweep your residence for electronic bugs on a daily basis now. Also, put a piece of clear cellophane tape on all ground level windows from the sill to the frame; if it’s broken or torn, you’ll know “they” came in that way. Do the same tape trick on all entry doors on the hinge side - they often don’t see it there. Do not use your current computer ever again! Wipe the hard drive and throw it in the bay. You’ll have to buy a new laptop computer and suck free Wi-Fi wherever you can find it, to access the internet. That extra click when you pick up the phone to call someone; is that from the last time you dropped it, or have they tapped your phone? You’ll have to buy the “Bourne Identity” and “Bourne Supremacy” CD’s and watch them over and over again. There are lots of tricks and survival techniques you can learn from these films. And whatever you do, DON’T TRY TO LEAVE THE COUNTRY!!! You should have known better than bad mouth our favorite cowboy. At this point, all I can say is Good luck, son. I’m praying that you don’t roast in Hell Fire for your sins!
Yours in Christ, Pat (pack some heat, with a silencer, at all times, in case you run into Hugo) Robertson.
{Arrgh! Ptuoi! Ptuoi! I hate when I have to channel that asshole. Leaves a bad taste in my mouth every time. Now I’ll probably be hawking up phlegm all night. Ptuoi! - Cooper}
hedera
August 27, 2005 at 8:39 pm
38Cooper, you forget that we have a perfectly legal form of regime change built into our constitution here - it’s called “Presidential elections”. We do them every 4 years, and AFAIK even Karl Rove isn’t trying to mess with that. Yet.
As for the Bourne identity etc. - phooey. (Or as Nero Wolfe used to say, pfui.) Assuming one would have to do this to protect oneself also assumes that “they” are capable of identifying one and tracking one down based on one’s opinions. Look how far “they” got with Mohammed Atta - and he was taking flying lessons and not bothering to learn how to land. If “they” were minimally competent I might worry about them.
Bill Howell
August 27, 2005 at 8:59 pm
39“even Karl Rove isn’t trying to mess with that. Yet.” –ha ha ha, now that is a good one.
cooper
August 27, 2005 at 9:21 pm
40hedera, yes the elections are “perfectly legal”, but are they perfectly legit and un-rigged?
As far as G-Man competency goes, remember, even a blind hog stumbles onto an acorn every once in a while.
Russell
August 27, 2005 at 10:05 pm
41Restore the monarchy. We’ve got one - why shouldn’t they have one? Wait- they had one for 1,000 years. Hmmm. Why shouldn’t our last for 1,0000 years?
hedera
August 27, 2005 at 11:20 pm
42Legit and unrigged is another issue, cooper. Remember, in the 1960 election, Joe Kennedy reportedly told JFK that he wasn’t going to pay for any more votes than he had to…
Linkmeister
August 28, 2005 at 2:36 am
43Hedera, you’ve it on it. We need to determine where Arnold Zeck is hanging out, and invade that place! After all, didn’t Zeck machine-gun Bush’s brush at Crawford? And he probably hit the trail Bush bikes on there, too, causing Bush to fall off!
Genius. Genius, I say!
Linkmeister
August 28, 2005 at 2:37 am
44Er, “hit on it.”
Pete IVDL
August 28, 2005 at 3:49 pm
45Hedera, even though whoever took over your computer long enough to suggest regime change in the US (prank caller! prank caller!) is absolutely right, somehow I think democratic regime change (i.e. “elections” or whatever they call ‘em) ain’t gonna yield a good enough result soon enough to have any effect.
I say send GWB and the GOB [Good Ole Boys/Group Of Bastards](like the GOP but with white collars and red necks) to the Mohammed Atta School Of Taking Off But Not Landing, and let ‘em go for a quick, humane joyflight. Not only would that maybe fix the US part of the problem, it would balance the huge irony deficit in the world!
Anyway, democratic, free and fair elections only happen in other places. (I wonder if there’s a Galactic Supercop civilisation somewhere arguing about pre-emptively removing the Bush ‘puppet’ regime?)
nigel
August 28, 2005 at 4:35 pm
46Here’s some more suggestions (we DO need to think big, and not mess around with archipelagos that are disappearing under water anyway…:
IRAQ– a hotbed of muslim extremists and terrorists. Present government and armed forces are weak. Great oil wealth.
MARS– probably cheaper and quicker than Iraq, although our president seems to have overlooked this in managing his priorities.
ANTARCTICA– if you don’t want to go to the bother of a whole planet, why not just a continent? There’s some sort of UN treaty protecting the place for the penguins, but that’s not really relevant. We already have a military presence, and the climate is improving all the time.
nigel
August 28, 2005 at 4:40 pm
47Swaziland– I’m sure our fundamentalist muslim brothers would join us in overthrowing an evil monarch intent on enjoying his 700 virgins in THIS life.
IL
August 28, 2005 at 5:53 pm
48Thompson, excellent point.
Clearly there are un-American activities going on at the CIA. We need to get GW on it right away.
Then all we need is a Joseph Welch. Quote: “Have you no shame, sir? Have you no shame?”
Apologies if the quote is not quite right.
cooper
August 28, 2005 at 6:55 pm
49My stars, Pete. Haven’t you gotten that zed key yet? “Civilisation” indeed. Oh that’s right, I sent it through the US Postal Service. Probably on a slow boat to Terra del Fuego via Reykjavik by now.
historyenne
August 29, 2005 at 12:53 am
50IL: It’s actually “Have you no sense of decency, sir, at long last? Have you left no sense of decency?”
Check this out for the full transcript.
Mary
August 29, 2005 at 9:24 am
51People! People! Work with me. We need a place to invade. Now where did I put that list of countries with really neat resources……….
phoebe
August 29, 2005 at 10:10 am
52Look this may alarm Pete in Van Dieman’s Land, but he is obviously not coming out of there in a hurry if he is parochial enough (sorry!) to call it Van Dieman’s land, when it is simply an unimportant Australian state.
Why not invade the Australian mainland Adam? We have a some quite important security bases of yours here already. We have all the worst of your tv shows. Our top telecommunications company is already run by an American. We have lots of land, admittedly a minor climate change problem, but nothing that GWB couldn’t ‘assist’ with. And most importantly we were one of the first members of the ‘Coalition of the willing’.
LAmom
August 29, 2005 at 12:05 pm
53We’ve really got to think more economically when it comes to these invasions. Think of how much we can save on fuel costs by invading Mexico or Canada. The pols already talk all the time about illegal immigration being a danger to homeland security, so I think Mexico is the obvious choice.
Stuff we want? They rank fifth worldwide in oil production, guys! Plus, they’ve got some great resorts and all those nifty blankets.
All the undocumented folks who are over here working back-breaking, underpaid jobs can keep right on with what they’re doing, but now they will be labelled as enemy combatants, so we don’t have to care about their human rights (as if we ever did).
What are we waiting for?
DouglasG
August 29, 2005 at 12:29 pm
54What is the other “Black Gold” besides oil? Why it is Coffee. That is the chief export of Ethiopia! The troups in Iraq have been complaining about Halliburton coffee, so there is the solution. A nice little package.
Invade Ethiopia for better coffee in Iraq.
Murray
August 29, 2005 at 2:29 pm
55I think LAmom has a point. To start with, we have already moved our army bases to Texas, so getting there is no big deal, lots of our soldiers can speak Spanish as opposed to Arabic, and it’s about time we finish what we started a century and a half ago. We invaded Mexico, and only took half of it. What kind of war is that? We can even still use the “Remember the Alamo” cry. It makes no more sense now than it did then, but who cares? We can send the refugees to work in the fields, and factories at “special” wages. Oil, beaches, resorts, free labor, I think this may be a winner.
lovable liberal
August 29, 2005 at 6:55 pm
56Well,if Mussolini could do it, why cant we?
No way! Mussolini was a fascist!
Oh. Right.
IL
August 29, 2005 at 9:25 pm
57Historyenne, thank you.
Pete IVDL
August 30, 2005 at 9:46 pm
58Phoebe, you’re damn right. We’re half American now, and the other half is just waiting to see.
Now, we haven’t got much oil (the Kiwis probably float on an oil reservoir they aren’t telling us about), but boy do we have gas! (Not personally, and it’s gas as in “gas”, not gas as in “petrol”). We’ve got gas coming out our wazoo. (Ah, there’s that zee key!) Plus, there’s a nice little tropical subcountry an easy Apache ride to the North who’s making a lot of noise about “their” Sunrise gas fields, so there’s a military training exercise just waiting to happen!
Our news/infotainment services are like plump, juicy CYLFs (Corporations You’d Like to Fuck), and they end every “news” service with the changing exchange rate with the US dollar (and fortunately we’ve not changed a micropenny against the world’s really stable currencies), followed immediately by weather predictions complete with little animated rainclouds and sunny faces, in case the words “rain” or “sun” don’t mean anything to the audience).
Then there’s that laconic, dry sense of humour (darn, how did that ‘u’ sneak in there?) that could easily pass off as stupidity.
And coastline - shit, we’re the one and only Island Continent! Another first! GWB would love it! And we’re surrounded by what could be described as ‘Mexican’ countries, all slowly receding under the waves. What a treat - invade ‘em now, or just wait for global warming to do the work. Either way, it’s win/win - the corporations can kill ‘em slow, or the military can flatten ‘em quick. The choice is Karl’s.
By the way phoebe, I’m in sunny Melbourne… My mistake to call it VDL, when it’s actually Niew Hollande, but VDL sounded better at the time…
Lenard
September 3, 2005 at 11:52 am
59The most obvious reason for invading ethiopia is because they are holding the christians hostage, and all of their artifacts that have great historical signifigance. After all anyone who pays attention knows that the christians there are holding the Ark of the Covenant. And we have to free the country from this weapon of mass destruction.
nigel
September 4, 2005 at 12:03 am
60New Orleans would be a timely beachhead. It is (or was…) crawling with French-speakers, jazz musicians and other liberals, and has some valuable petroleum infrastructure.
mg
September 4, 2005 at 3:31 am
61whats the obession with ethiopia?
Meles
January 11, 2006 at 8:54 pm
62fack all yo. Try to invade Ethiopia, and you will be facked with no mercy. Hatefull ppl like you, will be thrown into ditch. Kiss Ethiopian asses. NO ONE MESS WITH ETHIOPIA!
ASS HOLES!