From Reuters:
US and British intelligence officials believe the bombings in Egypt and London were organised by fugitive Al Qaeda leader Osama bin Laden.
————————-
Washington (FA Wire) - After hearing reports that the recent London and Egyptian bombings were orchestrated by a terrorist leader known as “Osama bin Laden,” the Bush administration today leapt into action, mobilizing intelligence and ordering investigations.
“We don’t know much about this ‘bin Laden’ guy, but we’ll get him,” said White House spokesman Scott McClellan. “It’s too early to judge how high he’ll be on our priorities list, but we’re definitely interested in finding out more.”
Across Washington, Bush administration officials fanned out to assure the public that this new threat was being taken seriously.
“First Saddam Hussein, then Zarqawi, now there’s Bin Laden,” said Vice President Dick Cheney on “Meet the Press.” “One leader goes down, another pops up. And from what I’ve heard so far, this Osama guy might not even be in Iraq, which adds to the challenge. But we’re up for it.”
Intelligence analysts were caught a bit off guard by the news, but they claim to be adjusting quickly. Homeland Security Secretary Michael Chertoff summed it up this way: “We’ve been working on several different angles ever since Saddam’s Republican Guard flew those planes into the World Trade Center. We knew that our retaliation against Iraq might cause some unrest in the Arab world, and the rise of this ‘Osama bin Laden’ appears to confirm this suspicion. He appears to be involved in some sort of movement that we’ll call, for lack of a better term, ‘Muslim fundamentalism’ or ‘Islamism,’ and his organization goes by the name of… ‘Al Kayda.’”
Little else is known about the leader or his network, apart from the obvious connections to Iraq and fragments of Saddam Hussein’s old regime. Still, Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice, appearing via remote on “This Week,” expressed optimism on the propects of hunting down this new threat. “He’s got a good head start, but now that we’re aware of him, we’ll work with the British and he will be caught or killed, hopefully before he can strike within the United States. He can run, but he can’t hide.”





21 comments
Murray
July 24, 2005 at 11:52 pm
1Who could have imagined that OBL would revert to terrorism? - Condi Rice
You can run but you can’t hide! - Ronald Regan, George W Bush, Arnold Swartzenegger
We don’t want to find out about Iran’s nuclear weapons when we see a mushroom cloud over Cleveland. - Dick Chaney
We already have way more troops than we need to take on all of those towelheads. - Donald Rumsfeld
We expected this. It was all part of our plan to take the fight to them and it’s working, it’s all a wonder to behold. - Perl, Wolfowitz, Krystol
YLlama
July 25, 2005 at 2:14 am
2Why stop there? Why don’t we go back to calling him “Usama”?
Mary
July 25, 2005 at 9:47 am
3I’m shocked! Shocked, I tell you. The Bush administration is really considering looking for Osama? Will wonders never cease?
Mel
July 25, 2005 at 9:59 am
4One quibble: Cheney has never spoken that many consecutive words without using the phrase “if you will.”
norbizness
July 25, 2005 at 10:10 am
5But it sounds so made up: O-SAM-a bin LA-den.
ice weasel
July 25, 2005 at 12:23 pm
6Bin Layden, as he is referred to by rummy, is not a priority of this administration. They have said so officially. SO please, quit bothering our beautiful minds with these disturbing allegations.
Thank you.
Scott McClellan
July 25, 2005 at 1:58 pm
7I hate to say this, but you misquoted me…you said I said this:
“We don’t know much about this ‘bin Laden’ guy, but we’ll get him. It’s too early to judge how high he’ll be on our priorities list, but we’re definitely interested in finding out more.”
When what I actually said was this:
“We don’t know much about this bin Laden guy, but we’ll ‘get’ him. It’s too early to judge how high he’ll be on our priorities list, but we’re definitely interested in ‘finding out more.’”
It’s a small difference, but that difference is very big.
norbizness
July 25, 2005 at 3:03 pm
8Works on contigency? No! MONEY DOWN!
Bob
July 25, 2005 at 4:04 pm
9Given the amount of damage Bin Laden has done to the US and the world, you’ve got to wonder whether the Bush Administration plans to kill him or offer him a cabinet post.
Keith
July 25, 2005 at 5:27 pm
10Bob, I don’t think Bin Laden is enough of a fundamentalist for a post in this administration.
MastMaker
July 25, 2005 at 6:15 pm
11Thats too sarcastic. When will you smart-ass liberals realise that nothing you say ever matters because Bush is on a mission from “God” to bring democracy to the rest of the world. Just concern yourself with what happens to the USofA while he is bringing that democracy to the rest-of-the-world.
-A Com passion ate con serv ative.
tess
July 25, 2005 at 6:25 pm
12Keith,
bin Laden is, just not the right type of fundamentalist. I mean, he’s crazy and mysogynistic and hopelessly fascist, but he’s interested in the wrong kind of religion. It’s like being at a bar where it’s dark, and making eye contact with a beautiful woman with a long beard and kidney dialysis machine, and you go over and start talking and everything’s going great. But then she makes the mistake of saying that she’s got a cat, or she’s got kids, or that she’s trying to spread Islamofascism instead of Christan fascism across the globe, and that beautiful moment’s over.
And besides, he’s brown without the certain bits that make Condoleza Rice Bush’s mistr– I mean, special friend. And he’s not willing to bend over for Bush.
Emmarie
July 25, 2005 at 10:15 pm
13Off topic: what is the opposite of mysogynistic? As in, what is it called when you hate all men instead?
“Finding out more”…I think I heard something once about how Bush has been saying since the 2000 that he needs “a little more information” on the environment before he can do anything. Really, they could just hire a bunch of students to get all their research done. Maybe we try to do inferior work, but threaten us with bad grades and give us a deadline, and stuff happens.
hedera
July 25, 2005 at 11:28 pm
14Emmarie, I thought the opposite of misogynistic is misanthropic, except that it seems to mean “hatred of all mankind” as opposed to “hatred of all men”. How about misandry?
Emmarie
July 25, 2005 at 11:52 pm
15Ah, thank you. I’ve been trying to figure that out since lunchtime or so.
pasquino
July 26, 2005 at 9:47 am
16Brilliant stuff. Reminds me of other humorously fake stories that seemed so real that people believed them. There is no ripple anymore. This sort of thing is so real, so note perfect, that the 43% of voters who voted for Bush won’t be able to tell that it is satire. I am a satirist myself (see blog) and it is my worry: that each absurdity the regime perpetrates just inoculates it against the next absurdity. To the point where brainboxes like Michael Kinsley hear proof of their crimes and reply that it’s old news. Bush is stupid: duh. Cheney’s energy task force was chaired by Enron people: duh. Bush wore a transmitter during the debate: duh. Bush was AWOL during Vietnam: duh. Karl Rove outed a CIA agent out of pique: duh. None of it registers. None of it is new. None of it matters to the faithful. Do your worst. He is invincible. He is God’s will.
ginny
July 26, 2005 at 11:43 am
17The Administration had better get off its ass and offer this O’Sama guy some foreign aid and trade concessions. He’s got a highly motivated workforce that could be taking customer service calls and making shoes (preferably the non-explody kind) for American companies (for un-American wages).
Pete IVDL
July 26, 2005 at 7:42 pm
18Tess, I want to go to your bar with you some day! If you can find a bearded lady Islamimentalist with a dialysis machine there, maybe I can find an androgynistic misandryne (is that right, Hedera?) with a feeding tube who keeps rats and speaks Arabic! Whoo-ee!
Pasquino, you’re on the money. Each new idiocy is bigger and better than the last, and it’s the incrementalism that keeps it under the radar.
Hey, maybe the Supreme Court could legislate that bearded dialysis fundamentalists are people, too. And Bush & Co would never undermine (pun intended) Usama’s right to stay on dialysis. Would they?
Murray
July 26, 2005 at 8:56 pm
19Tess, when I emailed you the story of my visit to Bedford’s Rainbow Bar, I didn’t expect you to retell it on Adam’s blog.
Pasquino, You are repeating history. Adam’s work has been quoted in China as being actual news coverage. (They were probably closer to the truth than the American press).
Mary
July 27, 2005 at 9:24 am
20Murray- you didn’t tell tess about my going with you, did you? Curse you!!!
Ken... Just Ken
July 27, 2005 at 10:40 am
21Perhaps the Bush administration has a Master Plan to make Satirist redundant and therefor irrelevant.
Historically Satirist have helped people see the wrongdoing of the establishment, but in making the actual news more extreme than anything satirists could think up, they render them toothless.
Very clever.