Regular blogging activity will resume on Monday (yes, the book is done) (for a certain value of “done,” that is) (at least it’s ready to be made ready…).
For now, I’d like to direct your attention to a headline that grabbed my attention:
“Blair urges ‘battle of ideas’ to beat al Qaeda”
Yesss! Sadly, Blair went on to make it clear that the battle is between our own good and righteous ideas and the enemy’s “evil ideology.” So we’re back where we started in some ways.
Not that the enemy’s ideology isn’t evil. But we can’t keep pretending that young Muslims are saying to themselves, “Hmm, should I live in freedom, peace and happiness? Or would it be more fun to serve evil and hatred and eventually blow myself up in a public place?”
Sure, that might be the effect of their choices. If we persist in imagining that it’s the choice itself, though, all the Muslim world is going to hear from us is a lot of white noise. Our good vs. evil formulation isn’t a “battle of ideas.” It’s more like one of those TV ads that illustrates how one bubbly and sweet beverage is just more “fun” and “hip” than another but says nothing about how it tastes. We’re good at making those kinds of ads. People choosing an ideology to live by need a li’l something more, though. Without getting into a silly, self-loathing “why do they hate us?” mindset…
…any suggestions? I promise to leak ‘em to the media in an untraceable manner.
Fanny Roborat
14 comments
Murray
July 17, 2005 at 9:12 am
1I’ve got it. To counter the promise of 72 virgins upon glorious demise we let them know that due to the demand of all those suicide bombers it’s more like 3 virgins and a bunch of worn out skags, and those virgins are rejects of all those who went before. Let’s face it, those guys who blow them selves up don’t do so between hot dates. We need to get these guys women now. Give them an outlet to their frustrations. During Watergate, remember how Attorney General Mitchell suggested they hire prostitutes to service the Democrats during their convention and learn their secrets? If the party of moral values can do it to destroy our constitution surely we can do the same to save us from terror.
Ken... Just Ken
July 17, 2005 at 9:51 am
2Er… has anyone else heard that the whole 72 virgins thing may just be a mistranslation:
The Guardian reports that the “virgins” in question may actually be White Raisins.
Virgins? What virgins?
peachy
July 17, 2005 at 10:08 am
3The encouraging thing here is that Blair at least seems to recognize that it is a battle of ideas or philosophies and isn’t saying, “Let’s go bomb hell out of some country whose people bear facial resemblance to the perps.”
YLlama
July 17, 2005 at 1:56 pm
4Is the “battle of ideas” simply the debate on whether or not to blow yourself up in the vicinity of others? Which comes down to this:
Low-level Al Qaeda operative: My life sucks.
Blair: No, it doesn’t.
Perhaps we should give them a show on Fox.
Calling All Toasters
July 17, 2005 at 10:21 pm
5Offer them all jobs at the Heritage Foundation.
tess
July 18, 2005 at 12:43 am
6I say that the campaign of ideas revolves around alcohol — lots of it. If Americans are somehow incited to drink booze because of commercials featuring scantily clad women, or clubbing guys wearing open shirts, I’m sure that those would-be suicide bombers would throw away their ideology and start boozing like everyone else who’s socially and economically depressed!
Hope Perlman
July 18, 2005 at 9:13 am
7HI Adam,
I’ve been waiting for something witty to write to you, but it’s taken me a month already since I found your blog, and my humor these days focuses on the potty (two small children live with me). Aw, heck, my humor’s always been scatalogical. Anyway, I hope this reaches you,and not just this online discussion. Glad to know you’re doing all the writing/joking/NPRing that you intended back in our old Boston, Back Alley Improv days. I’m finishing up a novel, too…. Would love to hear from you. It’s been about twelve years…..
Hope Perlman
Mary
July 18, 2005 at 10:01 am
8MTV (Muslim TV) music video of a lovely, modestly dressed, young lady singing about how she has fallen in love with the brave and honorable young man working for the betterment of his country. She goes on to scorn those who blow themselves up leaving her in a more dangerous society. She shyly flirts with the camera as she sings about how she wants to marry the brave youth who follows the “true” path of Islam.
Ok, it isn’t funny but it could work.
Benedict
July 18, 2005 at 10:51 am
9So these guys become suicide bombers because they aren’t getting enough dates. That’s crazy-talk. Everybody knows that marketplaces in the Middle-East are innundated with those finger-shaped fruits.
Steve
July 18, 2005 at 11:23 am
10May I direct your attention to, of all places, the current (July 18, 2005) issue of The American Conservative, which contains an interview with Robert Pape, Associate Professor at the University of Chicago. He reports on a study he’s made of all “suicide terrorism” incidents since 1980.
The take home message may be found in the last paragraphs of the interview:
TAC: What do you think the chances are of a weapon of mass destruction being used in an American city?
RP: I think it depends not exclusively, but heavily, on how long our combat forces remain in the Persian Gulf. The central motive for anti-American terrorism, suicide terrorism, and catastrophic terrorism is response to foreign occupation, the presence of our troops. The longer our forces stay on the ground in the Arabian Peninsula, the greater the risk of the next 9/11, whether that is a suicide attack, a nuclear attack, or a biological attack.
America is safer, indeed.
Nate
July 18, 2005 at 11:58 am
11I love Murray’s comment about sex. Seriously … these guys need to see some action.
Another option: give them all houses.
Once they are busy calculating insulation depth in the attic, how to stop the underground sprinklers from spraying all over the place, or how to put together laminated flooring they won’t have time to contemplate the hereafter.
And it would be less expensive than the current military budget.
ice weasel
July 18, 2005 at 1:24 pm
12Wow, wouldn’t it be great if we could fight al-qaeda on our terms. Wouldn’t that be nifty? We could all gather in one place, armed only with water balloons and wit, and battle it out.
It all seems to simple to me. So simply unsolvable. I think it’s possible we could sit down and negotiate some, maybe major portions of these disputes out. But look at the principles. Both sides are led by religious fundamentalists who believe they are driven by and protected by a god. A god. They don’t just think they’ve got a really great idea, they both think that in their proverbial corner stands an approving, supernatural being.
I think the first thing we need to do is change some of the major players. Then ideas, sure.
FRANK JOHNSON
July 21, 2005 at 6:48 am
13Good service
Pete IVDL
July 21, 2005 at 10:14 pm
14I heard Bob Pape too. (Unfortunately, he speaks in a kind of kindergarten sing-song voice that makes me wonder if 3 virgins and a couple of skanky hos would be so bad after all!
)… Anyway, if what he says is truly reflective of reality, then ALL the western leaders have not only missed the train, they’ve missed the station, the line, and the general area where train transport could be found.
Which begs the question: if it’s not the pimply, over-Coked, underpriveleged Muslim Teenage Ninja Turtles who are going splat! (or more recently, flop!), where should the focus be? Possible answer: Get out of Saudi Arabia, Yemen, in fact the whole Gulf area. Problem #1: That’s where the oil is. Problem #2: That’s what Osama the Banana has been saying all along. Problem #3: What happens if we do get the flock out of there? Who wins?
My brain hurts.