As you probably know, I’m obligated to occasionally post things that really can’t be of much interest to anyone but my friends and family. Things about my life, my tastes, my friends.
If I fail to do this, I risk being mistaken for a “columnist,” which would result in the revocation of my Blog License.
So…
- The inaugural issue of Radar Magazine is still on the stands (I hope). It’s really worth your time. Yes, it’s edited by a longtime pal of mine, but if it wasn’t actually good (which it is), funny (which it also is), informative (yes, it’s that), and loaded with valuable prizes (which it really isn’t), I wouldn’t say so. If any magazine has the potential to be the “Spy” of the new century, it’s this one. It’s also the first promising palindromically titled magazine since “Elle” debuted (if you discount, as I do, the lamentable “Ylhtnom Race Car Monthly”)
- OK Go has a new EP out, in anticipation of their second album (due in August). You can get it at the iTunes Music Store, Amazon, and other locations. Astute observers may have noticed some sort of… OK Go-boosting trend among NPR and/or Air America types. Mere coincidence, I promise you. In my case, for instance, let me assure you that I don’t know them, have never had drinks with them, had never actually heard of them until I started typing this paragraph, in fact. Yes, why I brought them up baffles even me. But now that I’ve investigated my own entirely automatic writing, they really do seem to be a terrific band and are worth your music-buying dollar.
- I am very close to completing my revision of my novel. It is now almost certain to be entitled “Schrödinger’s Ball” and it will be published by Random House’s Villard imprint in the first half of next year.
On that last subject, I have to confess that this whole revision process baffles me. I’m a first-time novelist, and the bulk of my previous work has been for television and film. In that world, rewrite assignments are just that - assignments.
I had become very comfortable in that world, where I would receive my instructions, rage against the idiots who were destroying my Work, mutter darkly as I erased or altered treasured moments of sheer, unadulterated Genius, and then meekly submit the changes that had been commanded. If I rebelled against any of these, it was a sure thing that said edits would be made without my help. Further changes would be made before the script was shot anyway, which guaranteed me the opportunity to watch the final product with the deep certainty that it would have been much, much better if those lunkheads had only listened.
With my novel, however, it’s different. The notes I received are thoughtful, helpful, and - most importanly - suggestions. That’s right - if I, the Artist, deem any piece of advice to be off-base or overstated, it’s open to discussion. Reasonable discussion. In fact, ultimately it’s my book, and the eventual decisions are going to be ones that I make, because the final product will bear my name and reflect my unique artistic vision. The whole process is geared towards this respectful and satisfying end.
I hate it.
If the book turns out to be not everything I want it to be, if the reviews are cruel, if upon publication I look it over and see things I don’t like… I want someone to blame it on. That’s how these things work, in my experience. There always someone to blame. Even multi-threat writer/director/producers of movies or TV shows can pin the blame on the actors, or the cinematographer, or the caterer. That’s why someone can release the Worst Movie Ever Made on a Friday and find himself with a new, studio-approved project on Monday morning. The comfy culture of Someone Else’s Fault sustains us, swaddles us, wraps us in forgiveness (because there’s really nothing to forgive).
Not so with this damned book. I spend my days peering suspiciously at the screen, convinced that the individual words are conspiring against me behind my back or getting on the phone to their agents and seeking jobs in the next John Grisham novel or maybe something a little more artsy to give them more “cred.” Each chapter that I “finish” is only temporarily finished because I know for a fact that the Incredibly Stupid Thing that I’ll find there tomorrow wasn’t put there by some hack script doctor or producer’s niece who’d “really like to get into writing and has lots of ideas.” Nope. It’s my Incredibly Stupid Thing. And “my” isn’t a term that we Hollywood types tend to use for our work, at least not until the first Golden Globe nomination.
All that said, I still like the book a lot. It’s funny, it’s unique, it’s pretty damned cool in places, in fact. I’m proud of it, at least most of the time.
But I’m going to have the final couple of days of rewriting catered anyway. Just in case.





33 comments
Ann
June 21, 2005 at 9:51 pm
1I’m sure I join all of your fans in saying that I’m looking forward to reading your novel. And I’m sure I join all of your fans who are professional editors in hoping that someone at RH copy-edits your novel. “Neice” indeed.
Oh, well–if I got treatment for this compulsive disorder, I’d have to find a new career.
dave
June 21, 2005 at 10:34 pm
2You obviously don’t read “Boob” (or won’t admit it). W has been on the cover for 280 weeks straight!
Adam Felber
June 22, 2005 at 5:22 am
3Ann -
It was an “artistic choice” kind of misspelling, naturally… but I see your point.*
*I am hereby invoking the “8 hour rule” and fixing it.**
**I am hereby inventing an “8 hour rule.”
Murray
June 22, 2005 at 9:01 am
4Here you go Adam, have me edit your book.
No, NO really, I’m horrible. I can’t spell to save my life. Most of what I try to write is incomprehensible and I specialize in awkward phrases and sentences. If your book does well, the critics will say “Felber shines despite mill stone around his neck”, or if it languishes, “Mill stone of an editor pulls Felber under”.
You get to be heroic or sympathetic. Great huh?
Mary
June 22, 2005 at 9:26 am
5Looking forward to “Schrödinger’s Ball”. I need a well written, entertaining read. The news just isn’t doing it for me any more.
Don’t worry. The words aren’t conspiring against you. They’re just malcontents by nature. It’s nothing personal.
tess
June 22, 2005 at 1:39 pm
6You know, this is why I went into engineering — I can’t write worth sloppy-do. What’s ironic, though, is that I’m a far better writer than most of my fellow engineers. In fact, most of my fellow engineers are such awful writers that I used to bang my head against the wall when I graded lab reports just so I wouldn’t dock points for grammar and style.
Though if you want someone to proof a dry technical paper that’ll only be seen by other dry, technical people, I’m your (wo)man!
ginny
June 22, 2005 at 1:44 pm
7Congratulations on the publication of your novel. Will you be handing out bubble-gum cigars? Regarding OK Go, I’m about to become an iPod Person, so I feel this strange compulsion to download their EP.
What is it with you NPR and Air America types? You’re all OK Goers! It’s a conspiracy, right?
Ann
June 22, 2005 at 2:28 pm
8I want to change the topic completely and talk about Sen. Durbin’s apology. I’m so very disappointed and angry that he backed down! The Reps have made dozens of “Nazi” comparisons for completely unrelated issues. For citations, see the dailykos site for June 20.
Now, when the FBI is documenting torture and the comparison is finally apt, a Democrat can’t hold the line and stand behind his words.
Harold
June 22, 2005 at 3:16 pm
9Senator Durbin should have stood on principle and simply read the entire report into the Congressional Record. But enough of this torture nonsense. Let’s focus on what’s really important: a constitutional amendment to ban flag burning.
http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,160321,00.html
(Hey, it’s on FOX “News”, it’s gotta be true!)
Adam, there are a couple of us out here with Physics degrees who are raising a curious eyebrow at the title “Schrödinger’s Ball”. I’m wondering where you’re going with that. As an exercise, it would be interesting to see what kind of story your mom would write based on that same title! (Perhaps some bodice-ripping Regency tale culminating in romance and intrigue at the annual ball at Lord Schrödinger’s estate!)
Murray
June 22, 2005 at 6:22 pm
10Ann,
You can’t blame Durbin, he’s a Democrat, he has no more power to keep from cowering, apologizing, and hand wringing than a Republican can keep from attacking, accusing and bullying.
It’s just in their nature.
(Be happy he had the momentary balls to make the statement in the first place)
Murray
June 22, 2005 at 6:35 pm
11Adam,
Maybe it’s a good thing I’m not your editor. The first thing I’d point out is that the title has an umlaut in it. I know it’s German but Americans will think it’s French or maybe from that Luxemburg place, and if the Pres himself can say that the prime minister (of Luxemburg) is a “piece of work” while standing next to him, I guess we can diss any European thing we want.
(I do know of another long, unpronounceable, northern European name that uses the first 5 letters but has no umlaut).
Adam Felber
June 22, 2005 at 6:42 pm
12Yo Harold! I don’t rip bodices. (Do you know how Hard it is to rip a bodice? Killing. I mean, lift weights, pick fights with ex-cons. Do not attempt to rip a bodice. If it don’t get you, the person in the bodice will. I mean, NO one has ripped a bodice for eons! Once the word got out on the difficulty factor, seduction began.)
And Adam?
Editors are there to vex you.
You are there to vex them.
It works out.
luv,
Mommie, the scourge of Editors
Adam Felber
June 22, 2005 at 6:44 pm
13(Why does that say “posted by Adam”? I posted it.
accepting the guilt,
Old Mother Felber
Ann
June 22, 2005 at 6:52 pm
14Yes, that “piece of work” quote is a classic. When is Luxembourg going to demand an apology? I was hoping the PM would pull out a glove and slap Bush across the face, challenging him to a duel.
Jim
June 22, 2005 at 9:01 pm
15Harold;
If there is a constitutional amendment to ban flag burning, it would trump the U.S. code regarding the dignified “retiring” of a worn flag:
“The flag, when it is in such condition that it is no longer a fitting emblem for display, should be destroyed in a dignified way, preferably by burning.”
Here is the link from Cornell Law:
http://www4.law.cornell.edu/uscode/html/uscode04/usc_sec_04_00000008—- 000-.html
Please copy and paste in your browser, since I don’t know squat about them coding thingamabobbers.
Jim
June 22, 2005 at 9:03 pm
16Waddya know?
I guess I do know a thing or one about them thingamabobbers!
Murray
June 22, 2005 at 9:55 pm
17The problem with flag burning is intent. And intent is covered by free speech. Burning the flag could be a sign of honor or disrespect. How would you know?
Once again this amendment is an idea that can’t pass the “2 second think about it test” that the right wing pulls out every time they are threatened. They know it is bullshit but it makes for good cover when everything else is going to hell.
I’ve always wondered about taking a projector to the Washington Monument and showing a movie of a flag burning on the side of it. No comment no context.
I would not be burning a flag, just showing the representation of a flag being burned. There is no way to know my intent. How would their law handle this?
“I really love this country, cause I can say it sucks,
I wouldn’t burn the flag cause it cost me 40 bucks,
I do my voting on the left, but I dress on the right,
I don’t take hard drugs cause they keep me up at night,
I’m a li li li li li li li li li li liberal. (li li li liberal)
The Pheromones
Harold
June 22, 2005 at 10:55 pm
18Drat! I got caught by Adam’s mom! Now I have no choice but to read her complete works before I think about making such a reference again!
http://www.edithlayton.com/author/list/list.htm
I’d better get started soon!
ginny
June 23, 2005 at 12:29 am
19Momentary balls… if this is anything to do with the uncertainty principle, then perhaps that’s a spoiler for Adam’s book.
Jerry
June 23, 2005 at 1:36 am
20Damn it! Make the rule and then invoke it! What are you thinking…that you’re a Republican?!
Mary
June 23, 2005 at 9:07 am
21Yep, the National debt is climbing, Medicaid/Medicare are about to go belly-up, Civil Liberties are on the line, but Congress knows what is important. Flag burning!!! And they wonder why voters don’t take their “duty” seriously.
David
June 23, 2005 at 12:24 pm
22The problem with intent is intentional fallacy. Hell, it’s the problem with “the intent of the Founding Fathers.” Intent can make for interesting speculation, but that’s about all it’s good for. If the damned amendment says it’s illegal to burn the flag, then it will be illegal to burn the flag for any reason. If an intent clause is added, then we’re off to the races.
I could be part of a march protesting the egregiously duplicitous, profoundly homicidal, utterly indefensible attack on Iraq carrying a tattered car-dealer flag. At the end of the march I could burn the flag according to whatever are the guidelines for incinerating a tattered flag and, when asked, state that such was my intent.
I would also, of course, work in some way to point out that Bush has shredded what the flag stands for to anyone who takes the Constitution and the Bill of Rights seriously, and so the incineration of this tattered flag is emblematic of what the Bush administration does on a daily basis.
Murray
June 23, 2005 at 2:42 pm
23What about ripping the flag up? What about stepping on it? What about smearing fecies on it? Dipping it in used car oil? Yelling bad things at it? Will the amendment also cover this?
The first amendment is there to protect unpopular speech. Even in North Korea you can say good things about the government, what makes us different is that you can say BAD things about our government and not be put away, (well that was the theory up till about 5 years ago).
Burning the flag is an especially virulent protest. It is meant to evoke a response. But if we actually value the right to say unpopular things, no matter how repugnant (like the right of the KKK to say what they think), we have to accept it.
Whenever the Righteous Right hauls this sorryassed excuse to keep from facing real problems out, you would think that there is an epidemic of people burning flags. Turns out to be very rare (It costs 40 bucks).
Democrats should call this ploy for what it is.
(Sorry, I forgot, that’s not something they are capable of).
Harold
June 23, 2005 at 3:47 pm
24An interesting point was made on that left-wing commie pinko show Morning Edition on NPR today: House rules dictate that whichever party holds a majority in the House - even by a single vote - gets to exclusively dictate the agenda for the House, which is why the House is busy dealing with issues like cutting funding to NPR and PBS and going after flag-burners rather than addressing actual issues.
The November 2004 election wasn’t just about keeping the worst idiot in U.S. history to ever hold the office from being re-elected, it was also about wresting control of Congress away from the Dark Side. That we failed so miserably on both counts will be to our everlasting shame. But we need to get over it, roll up our sleeves, and work even harder for regime change in Congress in the next election.
SeattleDan
June 23, 2005 at 4:01 pm
25Congrats,Adam,on the novel and I hope the rewrite goes well. I have a modest little bookstore here in Seattle,so if Random House puts you on tour, I’d love to have you come in for a signing! I also look forward to reading the thing. Great title.
David
June 23, 2005 at 5:10 pm
26Harold,
AMEN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Jerry
June 23, 2005 at 8:08 pm
27The appoved way to dispose of a used flag is burning. The unappoved way of saying, “You have denigrated the priciples that we hold sacred and that are symbolized by the flag,” is to burn a flag.
The difference? Intent. “Thoughtcrime.”
Jerry
June 23, 2005 at 9:16 pm
28Murray -
“Democrats should call this ploy for what it is.
(Sorry, I forgot, that’s not something they are capable of).”
No shit! Dems calling the Repubs on their utter, unending lies and bullshit?! Hell, no! Let’s make deals…counting on these folks to keep their word. “Please, sir, may I have another?!”
littlebit
June 24, 2005 at 12:19 am
29A couple of copies have homes in my Writing Center’s display wall and book shelf.
Cheers.
David
June 24, 2005 at 1:40 pm
30Thought crime actually says it all.
Donna
June 24, 2005 at 6:57 pm
31Sorry to step on all the smart commentary, but my daughter just showed me this piece of OK go related magic:
http://doiop.com/okgodance
Pete IVDL
June 25, 2005 at 6:30 pm
32…so, if we read the rest of the book, but don’t read the last page, does the story end? Or is it ended/not-ended from the start, quantum-ly speaking?
Be sure and let us know when it hits the bookstands/Amazon revenue stream. I wanna copy now.
Baylink
June 27, 2005 at 5:24 pm
33And, incidentally, wouldn’t Momentary Balls be a great name for a rock band?