CRAWFORD, Texas (Reuters) - President Bush said on Monday he was concerned about near-record oil and gasoline prices and pressed Crown Prince Abdullah on how much Saudi Arabia could increase production.
“I look forward to talking to him about that,” Bush said. “We’ll talk about his country’s capacity. It’s an important subject.”
“This is an important relationship,” Bush said. He greeted the prince with a kiss on both cheeks and then held his hand to help him up the stone steps leading to the office on the president’s ranch.
INSIDE THE CRAWFORD RANCH - DAY
[Crown Prince ABDULLAH sits comfortably in a high-backed chair. President BUSH sits nearby.]
BUSH: Damn it’s good to see you, Abdullah! Real good.
ABDULLAH: Always a pleasure, my friend. Always.
BUSH: And that anti-terrorism stuff you’re doing is great. Just great.
ABDULLAH: Thank you.
BUSH: Yesirree, terrific stuff. Freedom’s on the march.
ABDULLAH: Ahem.
BUSH: Um, I mean, in your country too! Those elections and stuff, even without women, well, it’s a positive step! Really positive. You’re doing it at your own pace. We respect that.
ABDULLAH: …
BUSH: Forget I mentioned freedom, okay?
ABDULLAH: It is forgotten
BUSH: Good. Just sort of an automatic reflux thing I do sometimes. Wasn’t trying to say anything, really…
[Pause.]
BUSH: And it looks like we’ll be able to help get you into the good ol’ WTO.
ABDULLAH: That’s nice. We’d like that.
BUSH: Yeah, yeah, it’s super fun.
[Pause.]
BUSH: So…
ABDULLAH: …
BUSH: Oil prices sure are high, aren’t they?
ABDULLAH: Yes, there is much demand. China and India -
BUSH: - oh yeah, yeah. No question. Lots of demand.
ABDULLAH: Yes.
BUSH: “Supply and demand!”
ABDULLAH: What?
BUSH: You know, the ol’ econological thing. Supply and demand.
ABDULLAH: How interesting.
[Pause.]
BUSH: We’re gonna be drilling, you know.
ABDULLAH: Yes?
BUSH: Oh yeah! Lots of new places. Alaska. Might find a lot of the ol’ black stuff up there…
ABDULLAH: How nice for you.
BUSH: Oh yeah. Just drillin’ away, finding oil. Using it…
ABDULLAH: Good luck with that.
BUSH: Thanks.
[Pause.]
BUSH: So, whaddya say you increase production and cut prices?
ABDULLAH: Hmm. Let me think about it.
[Pause.]
ABDULLAH: No.
BUSH: Please?
ABDULLAH: Nope.
BUSH: Look, if you do this for us, we’ll…
ABDULLAH: …yes?
BUSH: … we’ll…
[Bush stands there, mouth open, finger extended, poised to finish the sentence. Time passes. Abdullah looks around quizzically, clears his throat a few times, waves his hand in front of Bush’s face… Eventually, he gets up and heads off towards the guest bedroom.]
Fanny Roborat
27 comments
Trackback from Happy Furry Puppy Story Time with Norbizness - Yes, I Actually Worked in Parliament. Deal!
April 26, 2005 at 9:53 am
Trackback from Happy Furry Puppy Story Time with Norbizness - Yes, I Actually Worked in Parliament. Scary, Isn't It?
April 26, 2005 at 11:18 am
dee
April 25, 2005 at 4:23 pm
1“waves his wand”? They’re kissing, they’re holding hands, and now he’s waving his wand in front of Bush’s face?
Jeebus, what’s a guy gotta do to get a little drop in oil prices?
adam
April 25, 2005 at 4:33 pm
2Thanks, Dee. I’ll, er, just go in there and fix it…
Deno the Untergeek
April 25, 2005 at 5:30 pm
3er….er….yeah…
Check out electablog.com for a few good pics.
Unfortunately my html skills only go so far as writing the website down, making a link is beyond my meager skills. No worries though.
Murray
April 25, 2005 at 6:16 pm
4Chipless bargaining goes well with brainless arguing.
On the other hand we probably are keeping the Royal Family propped up in a hostile country. I mean, what if we ACTUALLY did want an end to tyranny in the Middle East. (That threat might be worth a couple million more barrels a day).
Pete in Van Diemen's Land
April 25, 2005 at 6:17 pm
5YOU CHANGED IT? Oh, say it’s not so! Quick everyone, go through the FA archives, you’ll see Adam has rewritten his blog entries to make us commentationalists (and our token Troll) look like a bunch of left-wing tree-hugging oil-allergic LIBERALS! Oh. Ohhhh. Riiiight. (Ahem).
I can’t honestly think of another way the Bush/ibn Saud conversation could have gone. Adam, thank Lobster you have a “fly on the wall” perspective. I would have thought there was more uncomfortable silence and less fruitful diplomacy. But then I never had much imagination.
craig
April 25, 2005 at 8:11 pm
6Increase production to cut oil prices???
What makes you think a Texas oil man or a former Halliburton chairman would want oil prices to go DOWN? The higher the price for a barrel of oil, the more economical it is to drill for it TX and OK.
merkley???
April 25, 2005 at 9:34 pm
7I don’t get it, how can you be fanatic about being apathetic? is this some kind of joke?
thats like saying you’re a cold hot dog — or you are slick and ummm- plaid and scratchy — or that you are — i dont know — something funny about the pope and george bush — imagine them both naked. i don’t care.
Auros
April 25, 2005 at 10:05 pm
8Meanwhile, John Snow is pressuring China to float its currency.
Aside from the “biting the hand that feeds” aspect of this, and the “chipless bargaining” and “brainless arguing” aspect, there’s also the “playing with fire while soaked in gasoline” aspect.
http://delong.typepad.com/sdj/2005/04/why_oh_why_are__1.html
David
April 25, 2005 at 10:08 pm
9OK, I’ve managed to inadvertenly send my post into Lobsterspace twice now. Here goes Old Laptop Klutz’s third try.
Craig, how can you utter such unpatriotic slander? Dick ‘n George love America, and
George Dick’n America…
David
April 25, 2005 at 10:11 pm
10Auros,
“Playing with fire while soaked in gasoline” -
that perfectly captures these clowns.
Murray
April 26, 2005 at 6:26 am
11“Playing with fire while soaked in gasoline” would describe our president telling the world that the bonds we issue are probably worthless.
David
April 26, 2005 at 11:44 am
14Murray,
Gotta love the way the mainstream non-fourth estate has given the Idiot-in-Chief a pass on that incredibly moronic assertion. Nonfeasance seems to me to be the applicable Constitutional principle for a president even making such an irresponsible comment. I suggest for the title of his memoirs Less than Clueless.
dee
April 26, 2005 at 2:33 pm
15Ah… the awkward pauses, the hesitancy, the staring into space…call me an old romantic fool, but it just puts me in mind of something like this
Pete in Van Diemen's Land
April 26, 2005 at 6:01 pm
16Fanny is hungry today. Grrr.
Pete in Van Diemen's Land
April 26, 2005 at 6:02 pm
17Dee, thanks so much for the link, now I can’t get the image of a long, slow, deep, wet kiss between Dubya and Abdullah out of my mind. (Shudder, twitch, kaff, kaff).
Harold
April 26, 2005 at 6:03 pm
18And Fanny didn’t have any problms with “vagina” in a previous post. Pete, if you can guess at the offending text, try replacing it with “vagina” and see what happens.
Pete in Van Diemen's Land
April 26, 2005 at 6:04 pm
19Hey Adam, Fanny really doesn’t like me mentioning a certain bearded and tea-towelled ruling family of a particularly oily middle eastern state known for hosting American bases…
Pete in Van Diemen's Land
April 26, 2005 at 6:08 pm
20Thanks Harold. I think Fanny has trouble with me mentioning Vagina Arabia.
Attempted repost…
Given that most mainstream media’s attention span (fatigue limit) is around 10 days, it seems that the Vagina Conspiracy Fatigue Limit is around 4 years. Maybe the bearded rulers of a certain foreign land will tour ground zero this year. Lobster/Allah knows they’ve wanted to see the place before this.
Dee, thanks so much for the link, now I can’t get the image of a long, slow, deep, wet kiss between Dubya and Abdullah out of my mind. (Shudder, twitch, kaff, kaff). I can see it now - Abbie lying back on Dubya’s firm, tanned midriff, arms behind his head, both dreamy-eyed and toking on a hookah pipe… “Wow”, says Dubya, “when you guys kiss ass, you really kiss ass! Pass the handtowel, please.”
Pete in Van Diemen's Land
April 26, 2005 at 6:10 pm
21Sigh. It wasn’t really worth it…
Jim
April 26, 2005 at 7:44 pm
22I tried too. Apparently Fannie has a problem with a certain royal family’s human rights record.
By the way Pete, nonsense. It gave me a chuckle so it was worth it.
Dee, Thanks for the link…I think.
Harold
April 27, 2005 at 7:11 am
23So does that mean that they’ll have to be referred to from now on as the “House of Vagina”?
David
April 27, 2005 at 11:33 am
24“The Best Little Whorehouse in Texas” is now a certain ranch in Crawford?
Pete in Van Diemen's Land
April 27, 2005 at 1:45 pm
25re: the house of vagina - well, let’s see…
- They’re both hairy and wrinkled
- they both hate the sun
- they’re always seen around virgins
- Sand is their natural enemy
- (I’m trying to think of something to do with oil that isn’t totally disgusting, as opposed to the rest of this post, which is just plain tasteless).
Jerry
April 28, 2005 at 7:17 pm
26“House of Bush, House of Vagina”? Is this what it has come to?
And Pete IVDL, when the hell have you seen Bush around a virgin?
David
April 29, 2005 at 12:15 pm
27Jerry,
Condi’s not a virgin????????????????