A Concise History of the Israeli/Palestinian Conflict

At last, no more Schiavo talk.

If you two kids don’t behave, nobody’s getting any ice cream!

Murray:

I love your image of the afterlife. Especially under a lobster’s jurisdiction. Uh-oh! The crazy people are gettingtoo close to one another, gotta grab them with pincers and separate again.

After having heard Joe Carr talk about the people who settle the settlements, I have lost all hope for the region.

“Sir Splodesalot?” Oh, I’m going to be chuckling about that all day…

Dee, the problem is we give them ice cream no matter how they behave. And it looks like Sharon has been having all he can eat.

pretty accurate BUT…

I know who my friends are.

Looks like my island is going to get pretty damn crowded, but I still want to throw all the Israeli and Palestinian idealogues on it. See, I’ve always wanted my very own island, not so I could live on it, but so I could banish stupid people to it. It wouldn’t be a penal colony per se, but a lot of criminals would end up there.

By “stupid people” I don’t necessarily mean the intellectually challenged, either. I have a rather broad definition of stupidity that applies to anyone who makes my life unnecessarily difficult. For example, the idiots who drive into the intersection after the light turns yellow and get stuck there when it turns red, thereby preventing cross traffic from getting through. Or fundamentalists of any ilk. Or people who just won’t use the brains the Lobster gave them.

But yeah, I’d also like to lock up the trouble-making Israelis and Palestinians on an island and let ‘em duke it out where they can’t continue bothering the rest of us. Not all of them, mind you, just the ones who refuse to admit fault and work for peace.

My husband says there isn’t an island big enough for all the people I think belong there, so I might have to upgrade to an asteroid.

Andres — I believe the correct phrase is “Sweet zombie Jesus!” At least in the year 3000 according to a certain Jamaican beancounter.

Allison,
Boy I know what you mean. I think we should buy up Greenland and start with shipping our current administration there. I’m also up for sending all of the willfully ignorant people, in addition to your list.

Greenland can’t cost that much.

Murray and Mary (try saying *that* 3 times fast!) - Don’t worry, my definition of “stupid people” is broad enough to include both the current administration, the willfully ignorant, AND fundies. And you’re exactly right, Mary. The reason these people get banished to the island/asteroid is so they can continue their stupidity and fight to their hearts’ content without bothering the rest of us.

I think someone’s already stole your idea Allison - but they’ve started dumping them already in the big island to the north of Mexico. Mind you, I speak as a member of the population of the island England dumped its unwanteds on!
Personally, I like the asteroid better - no atmosphere, therefore humane. Just what the fundies love.

hedera, isn’t that already called “Survivor”?

Oh, Lobster, Pete IVDL - that hurts…but it is so accurate. This is a big freaking island, pretending we can ignore the whole freaking world because we got guns and no one can get to us across that ocean. Except maybe the North Koreans with their three stage missles. But like the Iranians, they are the “weak corners” of the Axis of Evil.” You know, the ones that ACTUALLY HAVE WMD?

I love “Survivor: Baghdad”! Drop ‘em anywhere outside the Green Zone. No, wait…we already have 135,000 constestants there! Just let the show run and see if ANYONE survives!