Hey, the House Republicans have unveiled their budget! What do you need to know about it?

Well, unlike Bush’s budget, this one figures in the cost of war in Iraq and Afghanistan. That’s right, $50 billion has been factored in! Now it may be true that the first two years of war in Iraq alone has run us a tidy $150 billion and change, but… well, a lot of that was start-up costs. If we encourage our men and women overseas to stop drinking so much water and maybe take up subsistence farming as a hobby, there’s no reason why we can’t expect that $50 billion to cover the tab.

Another area of interest is these two items, which I’ll present next to each other for your convenience:

“The spending blueprint orders lawmakers to find $69 billion over five years in savings from automatic spending programs such as the Medicaid health care for the poor, student loans and agriculture programs.”

and

“The Republican budget plan includes $106 billion to pay for tax cuts over the next five years.”

Just so we have our priorities straight.

But there’s a lot of good news here - the deficit’s only going to be $376 billion! I mean, assuming that the Senate doesn’t add in any more spending measures (and why would they?) and that the nothing unforeseen happens in the nation or the world (and what’s the risk of that happening?) and that our soldiers finally show some fiscal discipline and keep it to one MRE a day and maybe wash their own damned uniforms and stop whining about fripperies like body armor… assuming those things, we’re looking at a deficit that’s merely tremendously gigantically colossally huge.

Which, er, would be a little daunting. If deficits mattered. But they don’t. They make headlines, sure, but so what? That’s just the liberal media elite talking. You’ll note that not one of those “budget deficit” headlines had anything to say about the greatness of America, about our core moral values, about freedom being on the march, or about the power of faith. Interesting omissions, no?

Yeah, the deficit stuff you’ll be readin about is just the squawking of hairy liberal accountants hugging gay trees and spouting fuzzy, senior-scaring, terrorist math. With those types it’s important to remember to hate the spin but love the spinner. They’re misguided. Pray for them.