Well, my stint at “The Apprentice” is over. After serving two weeks in office, the people elected to give me a second term. But now it’s over, and it’s time to write my memoirs. There are so many interesting stories, starting with…

… oh yeah, there were those non-disclosure agreements. The ones that make sure that if I divulge even the tiniest details of my weeks Inside, I can be stripped of all my possessions, including several vital organs.

But still, I can let you in on a little of the journey, so long as I have my lawyers vet it before I post. So here, then, is my story.

From the first, working at a reality television program was a little more xxxx than I expected. I found that between the Trump show and the Martha Stewart show, there was a lot of xxxx to be xxxxxx. Interestingly, this proved to be more xxx for the xxxxxxx, because of our deal with xxxxx in xxxxxx.

So imagine my surprise when xxxx came in and announced that xxxxxxx was now our xxxxx, and everyone had to xxxxxx our xxxxxx in xxxxxxx for the xxxxxx-xxxxx! Yes, there I was xxxxxx in xxx without xxxx or even xxxxxx xx my xxxx xxxxxx xxxx xxxxx llamas!

Xxxxxxxxx, everyone xxx xxx xxxx xxx xxxx xxxxx xxx but xxxx xxxx xxx xxxxxxx was xxxxx. Danny Devito xxx xxxxx xxx rum and cokes before xxxxxx xxx in drag, but xxxxx Xxxx Xxxxxx said, “Forget xxxxx - it’s xxxx xxx xxxxx ducks!”

That’s just a taste of what went down. Stay tuned for more, as I return to the world of the sporadically employed.