From Reuters: Bush Admin. Plans Social Security Promotion Blitz
WASHINGTON - Senior Bush administration officials plan a 60-day, 60-city campaign to turbocharge their Social Security overhaul campaign, Treasury Secretary John Snow said on Wednesday.
The promotional blitz comes as some lawmakers and polls suggest the administration’s plans to allow workers to divert a portion of the taxes that pay for their Social Security benefits for stock and bond investments has lost momentum and failed to ignite broad public enthusiasm.
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Partial Schedule of Events
March 6, Skokie IL: WWE Senior Smackdown
To promote awareness of retirement options, bouts will feature seniors with private retirement accounts vs. those who rely on Social Security! The Grey Menace takes on Limpin’ Lucas! Plus a special cage match featuring Lotto Libbyattempting to send 4 challengers into “early retirement!”
March 14, Bethesda, MD: White House/ X-Games “Use It Or Lose It” Tournament”
President Bush presides over an extreme sports tournament encouraging young people to plan a lifetime that ends sometime before the age of 65.
April 15-17, Bethel, NY: Woodstock Option Fest
Three-day music festival featuring older recording artists reworking classic songs to extol the the virtues of stripped-down benefits. Groove to such new standards as “(I Can’t Get No) Satisfactory Medical Care” and “Rope-Lift to Heaven.”
April 29, Las Vegas, NV: Gambling Your Future
At the Mandalay Bay Hotel and Casino, come on down and to see how big payouts can come from taking just a little tiny risk! Bring your savings.
[Busy day here… please fill out the schedule in the Comments box]
Fanny Roborat
27 comments
dee
March 2, 2005 at 8:27 pm
1And then there are times when satire pales in comparison to reality…
From the New York Times:
The battle over Social Security has been joined by an unusual lobbyist, a 9-year-old from Texas who has agreed to travel supporting President Bush’s proposal.
The boy, Noah McCullough, made a splash with his encyclopedic command of presidential history, earning five appearances on the “Tonight” show and some unusual experiences in the presidential campaign last year. He beat Howard Dean in a trivia contest at the Democratic National Convention and wrote for his local newspaper about his trip to see the inauguration.
…
Noah will travel to a handful of states ahead of visits by the president and will go on radio programs, answer trivia questions and say a few words about Social Security. Though he is obviously not an expert (and not really a lobbyist, either), officials say the effort is a lighthearted way to underline Mr. Bush’s message.
“What I want to tell people about Social Security is to not be afraid of the new plan,” Noah said. “It may be a change, but it’s a good change.”
Elliott
March 2, 2005 at 9:01 pm
2May 1, Portland, OR: Death With Dignity Festival
The Bush White House does a total U-turn and embraces the nations only law that allows physician assisted suicide for terminally ill patients. The definition of terminally ill changes to include people who cannot pay for their future needs. Also, the term voluntary has been substituted with mandatory. Bush said, “We gotta save Social Security for those who deserve it, besides, It’s a blue state.”
Mike Z
March 2, 2005 at 10:37 pm
3March 12th - Pres. Bush is the guest host of “Fear Factor” where he explains the imminent social security crisis to four eager, young contestants. In a twist from the normal format, however, the winner is the one who gives in to his pleading the fastest. Plus, those who are able to last more than 60 seconds are escorted away by the secret service, and all footage of them will be edited from the show.
Mike Z
March 2, 2005 at 10:59 pm
4Oh, yeah…and in addition to that 10-year-old Texas trivia kid, they should include a parrot that can say “Rawk. Rawk. Prersonal accounts! Personal accounts! Rawk. Rawk.” The bird could be on all the talk shows and attend all the rallies. That would be another lighthearted way to underline Mr. Bush’s message.
Harold
March 2, 2005 at 11:32 pm
5Begging the President’s most holy pardon, but wasn’t the impending Social Security crisis just as big a problem on the first day of his first term of office? I realize he had other priorities back then, like getting rid of that pesky budget surplus that his predecessor left him with and securing tax breaks for the wealthy. Fixing Social Security was probably down near the bottom of the to-do pile, along with those annoying Richard Clarke reports about that Al Kayda guy and Osama-bin-whatsisname.
I’m just gonna keep plowing money into my 401(k) and stock up on my favorite types of cat food. Somebody jab me with a stick when everybody starts talking about the impending Alternative Minimum Tax crisis. I don’t expect that discussion to be held in the next 3 years 10 months and 18 days.
chrisanthemama
March 3, 2005 at 12:09 am
6Josh Marshall at talkingpointsmemo.com is calling it Baboozlepalooza. Securipalooza rocks, too.
tess
March 3, 2005 at 3:14 am
7Ain’t this a peach? Why the hell would anyone trust the analysis of a 10-year-old? He spouts facts like Rainman, and he puts about as thought into what he’s memorizing as a doberman eating kibble. And we’re expected to listen to him as being some sort of spokesperson for the privatization plan? Good Lobster, are we as a nation, really thinking no higher than a precocious 10-year-old?
Wait. Why do I even bother asking if I already know the answer?
Lynne
March 3, 2005 at 7:46 am
8Here in Ft. Lauderdale it’s being called the Century Village Pillage. Yesterday, Secretary of State, Condlizza Rice took on Mrs. Betty Tucker in a grudge match.
Ms. Rice, recovering in Memorial West Medical Center said, “I never saw her coming. The walker really had me fooled”.
Mrs. Tucker, flush with victory (or high blood pressure-we’re not sure)described her training for the fight. “You don’t get the last piece of fish on Friday by being slow”.
Johnnyboy
March 3, 2005 at 9:26 am
9March 14th - Hollywood, FLA: MTV’s The Real Old Geezers
New reality show where we follow Dick Cheney’s travails as he tours retirement homes to sell reduced benefits to roomfuls of drooling senile-heads ! The laughs never stops ! Will Dick get standing (or maybe hunched) ovations ? Will he get pelted by medicare reimbursement forms ? Tune in and you’ll see it - for real !
Thompson
March 3, 2005 at 10:10 am
10Personally, I can’t wait for it to pass through here. I really wanna see the freak show. I hear they’ve got some moderate Republicans they keep on short leashes and a guy who sticks his head into the mouths of toothless media lions.
ECS
March 3, 2005 at 11:48 am
11SIXTY days? Doesn’t this guy have anything better to do? Though it occurs to me…if we keep him busy, maybe he won’thave time to screw up anything else! Oh, wait, there’s still all his cronies…maybe *they’re* the ones throwing the old dog a bone to keep him busy…
Skerlnik
March 3, 2005 at 12:04 pm
12A moment of silence, please, for the Great Lobster, Bubba.
http://www.cnn.com/2005/TECH/science/03/03/leviathan.lobster.ap/index. html
(Take, eat, this is my Body, dunked in Holy Butter…)
He will rise again!
Kelli
March 3, 2005 at 12:22 pm
13March 15-
In complince with the “No Seniors Left Behind” act designed to promote nursing home accountability Bush has outlined new mandates that require all seniors to be tested at the ages of 65, 70, 73, 81 and 82. All seniors who wish to be eligible for retirement by the year 2017 must pass a series of tests in the core areas of Perscription drug benifits, Medicare eligibility and stock options with a score if “proficient” or above. Any Retirement centers with below-average scores on these exams will be financially penalized, put on special watchlists, and, if they fail to raise the scores with their incoming seniors, the ficilities will be at risk of takeover by the government.
In complience with his love of accountability, Bush qiuckly moves on to his next stop before the fallout hits or sombody asks how they are supposed to pay for NSLB.
Murray
March 3, 2005 at 2:33 pm
14April 1, McConnellsburg, PA: Mc Connellsburg High School Auditorium.
Noah Mc Cullough 10 year old wiz kid takes on the Spartan FFA members in a two part debate and wresling match. Prom Committee memebers have constructed a special cage for the match out of crepe paper and barbed wire.
“We know he’s a tough competitor” says senior Brad Hockenberry, “He’s quick with facts, so we plan on focusing on the wrestling part.”
The Bush Administration points out that it is the High School students of today who will need to pay for the treasury bills encoured by the rising deficits as they come due starting in 2024, and it is they who will be most effected by any changes.
When asked to comment on the president’s proposed changes, junior Megan Mellott said, “The President is sooo hot!
Monty Zoom
March 3, 2005 at 3:11 pm
15March 20, Detroit, MI: African American Men Die Younger
To show America the benefits that African American working men would get if they die young, George W. feeds several African Americans to the lions. “These men will be able to pass money on to their heirs under my plan!” shouts the President.
Bob
March 3, 2005 at 4:44 pm
16March 21st to April 1st, various, Bowl ‘n BS!
Get together with Vice President Dick Cheney, Secretary of the Treasury John Snow, and other avid Bush Administration keglers when they stop at a dozen different lanes in the midwest to bowl a few games and explain the benefits of proposed Social Security enhancements. VP Cheney will explain how your own personal account will really tie your retirement together, and Secretary Snow will contend that while he completely agrees with Cheney, he wishes he wouldn’t cuss so much.
Note that no meets are scheduled for Saturday, March 26th, because this administration don’t roll on Shabbas!
tess
March 4, 2005 at 4:30 am
17Murray,
I want to see Noah get flattened. This is the one time when I think a good case of bullying is in order.
Though I think for any debate involving the little shrimp, it shouldn’t be a “debate” on analysis, but a debate on facts. Kinda like Jeopardy — just for poor Noah to keep his head on straight so he doesn’t have to think a single thought in that pretty (thumpable) little head of his.
Murray
March 4, 2005 at 1:58 pm
18Tess, I’ll pass it on to Brad.
There is a reason that child prodigies are in the fields of music, math, and history, while not in philosophy, political science, or psychology. Any subject that requires analyais cannot be done by children no matter how good they are at learning and retaining facts. They still have the reasoning power of a child.
So while it might impress a lay audience that this 10 year old can recite huge numbers of facts, he is still incapable of reasoning how it all works out.
Sort of like Bush, only Noah can keep facts straight.
PS forgive the spelling, I’m using a Mac at school and I don’t know how to pass everything through spell check
tess
March 4, 2005 at 2:53 pm
19Murray,
Send photos, and send in a 10-year-old girl against him. I’m betting she can beat him up pretty good. Though he might become traumatized and become the next Karl Rove.
. . .
Okay, how about sending him off to a re-education camp somewhere in western China?
Bob
March 4, 2005 at 3:17 pm
20If the Democrats want to mount a truly effective campaign against the Social Security “reformers,” they ought to hire the people who are doing Martha Stewart’s post-incarceration PR. Those folks are awesome.
David
March 4, 2005 at 9:01 pm
21Bob,
Great idea.
Tess,
Damned good ideas as well.
This collection of posts is priceless.
Auros
March 4, 2005 at 10:28 pm
22Sixty days ain’t nothin’. Dubya’s been stumping for privatization for almost thirty years: http://www.nytimes.com/2005/02/27/politics/27social.html
One Tuesday in the summer of 1978, in the heat of his unsuccessful race for a House seat from West Texas, Mr. Bush went to Midland Country Club to give a campaign speech to local real estate agents and discussed the issue in terms not much different from those he uses now.
Social Security “will be bust in 10 years unless there are some changes,” he said, according to an account published the next day in The Midland Reporter-Telegram.
You’d think by now he would’ve noticed that his predictions of imminent catastrophe haven’t come true…
Auros
March 4, 2005 at 10:33 pm
23BTW, TNR thinks SS is just a distraction — cover for stuff like taking away access to Chapter 7 bankruptcy. Half of chapter 7 filees are bankrupt because of major medical expenses (and there’ll be more, thanks to rising numbers of uninsured people). Pushing them into Chapter 13 instead would add even more to the huge (more than 100%, possibly as high as 200%, depending on who you believe) rise in credit-card company profits over the last decade. (In that same time, bankruptcy filings have gone up maybe 20% at most. The CC companies say that this precipitous rise is hurting their profits.)
Jerry
March 5, 2005 at 5:18 pm
24Murray - most excellent point! That difference is so damn important! That poor little kid, whose fame rests on his appearances on the Tonight Show, hopefully will cringe with shame in the future when he sees how his erudition was used by the snake oil salesmen of the Coven of the Yellow Rose.
And screw his parents for their exploitation of their son. I equate them with the parents of the kid who is now the center of the Michael Jackson case. I think they should be charged with reckless endangernment, given what they should have known about Jackson’s history, true or not!
Auros - At the risk of self-promotion, I suggest this and this.
How freaking more obvious does it have to get that the Yellow Rose is beholden only to big business, in this case, the credit card companies. I wish the Constitution had a provision for “Impeachment by the People,” so we could circumvent Congress and get this CORRUPT administration out of there.
Murray
March 5, 2005 at 7:47 pm
25To date, there has yet to be a single instance of a conflict between common (middle class and poor) people and big industry, where our president hasn’t been there to ram through the whims of his corporate buddies.
Murray
March 5, 2005 at 7:55 pm
26I sort of have personal experience with exceptional children and reasoning.
My older brother was 16 when he got to college. He had no problems academically but was an immature 16 year old. So he was in constant trouble for doing really dumb (immature) things.
Knowledge doesn’t equal insight.
Jerry
March 6, 2005 at 3:54 am
27Nietche: God is dead
Skerlnik: Lobster is dead
Lobster: That wasn’t me, but I liked him, and you really shouldn’t have fucked him over. Two more millenia of crap for you.