The Pentagon has just released a statement condemning Seymour Hersh’s recent New Yorker article. The article itself, “The Coming Wars,” is all about the administration’s “plans” to expand the war on terror, most specifically to Iran.
DiRita does a great job of debunking Hersh, but I want to help (being something of a DoD insider myself). There are, after all, things that DiRita is not at liberty to say. So…
FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE
Statement From Adam Felber on Latest Seymour Hersh Article
Seymour Hersh’s latest article is so full of inaccuracies and spurious allegations that responsible citizens ought to destroy their copy of the magazine before its toxic assertions can seep into the public consciousness. Here is just a tiny sample of the wild fantasizing that renders the piece worthless:
- Hersh claims he was told that “The civilians in the Pentagon want to go into Iran and destroy as much of the military infrastructure as possible.” Is he implying that civilians would go on a military operation? No? Then why is he saying that “civilians” “want to go in?” Doesn’t make any sense.
- According to Hersh, “covert” “operations” inside “Iran” are already “underway…” But in making this wild accusation, Hersh says that the US operatives have been “penetrating eastern Iran from Afghanistan in a hunt for underground installations.” Hersh seems unaware that Afghanistan is locally known as “Afghanestan.”
- Hersh says that the US is working with Israel to identify targets in Iran. Somehow, Hersh fails to mention that Israel’s natural resources include timber, potash, copper ore, natural gas, phosphate rock, and magnesium bromide. With such a glaring omission, how are we to believe anything he says about the matter?
- Hersh continually asserts that with the increased covert activities and revised battle plans, action against Iran and/or its nuclear activities is a large part of the Bush administration’s second term plans. Yet the overwhelming majority of people with similar last names spell it “Hirsch.” A simple Google search produces 3,370,000 results for “Hirsch” and only 784,000 for “Hersh.” Are we going to put our faith in a man who seems unclear on the spelling of his own name?
Clearly, Hersh and his article do not merit further consideration. The US government has always been upfront about its relations with and plans for other nations, including Iran, which is a nation ruled by a cruel, repressive dictatorship that hates freedom and seeks to develop weapons of mass destruction that may at some point fall into the hands of terrorists and used to kill innocent Americans. Unlike Hersh, our view is that such an outcome would be “bad.” Still, to assert that we have “plans” and “ongoing operations” in such a manner is the height of absurdity.
-Adam Felber
Defense Department spokeman (unofficial)





36 comments
Murray
January 17, 2005 at 6:43 pm
1Not only that but the DoD has it on good authority that during Hersh’s 3rd semester, 4th week, Journalism 203 course quiz he received a B-, and how can you trust some one this shoddy. Also he has more than 18 typos.
America you must ignore all he says!!!
By the way which one is Iran? Oh yea, now I remember, the one with the Ayatollah, No wait a minute,… Oh well, bomb them all.
Bob
January 17, 2005 at 7:16 pm
2From Mr. DiRita’s statement: “By his own admission, Mr. Hersh evidently is working on an “alternative history” novel. He is well along in that work, given the high quality of “alternative present” that he has developed in several recent articles.”
Watch out, Adam! With a ready wit like this, Larry DiRita could easily displace you as our satirist-in-chief. I mean, if we all suddenly took leave of our senses.
libby
January 17, 2005 at 7:26 pm
3not being a very experienced blog reader, it was only today that I noticed the comments section in Fanatical Apathy. I had no idea it could possibly get better, but apparently it does. so far I agree with all the FA nominations for the Koufax commentors award. you guys are so amazingly well spoken and have already verbalized things I’ve thought and felt in much better ways than I ever could. I really enjoyed the last thread, so many thoughtful and educated takes on scripture (and I have to say, thoroughly mature responses to that myn-something character).
so thanks to all of you for contributing to an already fantastic website.
dee
January 17, 2005 at 8:44 pm
4From May 17,2004:
“Assertions apparently being made in the latest New Yorker article on Abu Ghraib and the abuse of Iraqi detainees are outlandish, conspiratorial, and filled with error and anonymous conjecture,” Pentagon spokesman Larry DiRita said.
From January 17, 2005:
Mr. Hersh’s article is so riddled with errors of fundamental fact that the credibility of his entire piece is destroyed. Mr. Hersh’s source(s) feed him with rumor, innuendo, and assertions about meetings that never happened, programs that do not exist, and statements by officials that were never made.
Fool us once, Larry….
(Oh, and Libby — the check’s in the mail)
Lynne
January 17, 2005 at 9:35 pm
5I read the article today and it’s frightening. At least the Pentagon commenting on it may give it some play, how else will anyone hear about what the plans are, what with the small, tasteful ceremonies in DC this week (celebrating freedom). Rumsfeld is taking over, unlike Haig who said he was in charge, Rumsfeld actually is.
He just has to take all of his plans for Iraq, search and replace with Iran and he has another winner. Isn’t it great that we have the AARP gang coming back to the armed forces to help us win the battle?
david
January 17, 2005 at 9:52 pm
6We at DoD believe Seymour Hersh needs a neuterectomy, or at least needs to be morphed into Seeless Hersh. He’s been making these wild, unsubstantiated, erroneous assertions going all the way back to the Viet Nam War. Why can’t he practice responsible journalism? Robert Novak does.
Visit our website (www.fascistarus) for a complete list of publications all patriotic Americans should destroy.
Dick Kopf
Associate spokesperson
Rusty
January 17, 2005 at 10:33 pm
7“Dick Kopf” That’s too funny!!!
Some 30 years ago and just out of college, I was doing a temp job for this manufacturing company that had a German supply company. The materials from the supply company were defective, and they had to send a team over to help figure out a fix to keep the assembly line running. Well, they went around the plant speaking in German. Mine wasn’t that great (and it’s worse now), but I kept quiet that I could pretty much understand everything they were saying. “Fill-in-the-blank Kopf” was an occasional name they had for the blokes at the plant. I finally spoke back to one of them in German and he turned white as a sheet! It was a beautiful thing.
tess
January 17, 2005 at 10:59 pm
8I’m starting to think that it might be a wise idea to believe in everything that the Pentagon is denying.
What next: Are they going to tell us that we’re not really in Iraq and that the reports of a war have been hugely exaggerated?
Sharon
January 17, 2005 at 11:13 pm
9Wasn’t Larry DiRita one of the Three Stooges?
David
January 17, 2005 at 11:58 pm
10He was all three: Larry, Di, and Rita.
Jerry
January 18, 2005 at 2:46 am
11Obviously the unnatural offspring of Larry Fine and “Curly Joe” DeRita.
Great set of quotes, dee. What’s that old saying,”Fool me once, shame…shame on…you,…fool me–can’t get fooled again!”?
Sharon
January 18, 2005 at 6:35 am
12It made a good song, too. ‘Bout time a lot of those 60s and 70s war protest songs were revived. All they need are a few words changed, to “desert”, and “sand”, and such.
David
January 18, 2005 at 9:58 am
13A book is due out for the summer “must read” market about Larry, Di,and Rita’s torrid life of incest, a tell-all by Di and Rita, SIBLING MENAGE A TROIS, YUK, YUK, YUK.
Thompson
January 18, 2005 at 10:09 am
14No, tess, it’ll be even better. He’ll be telling us that there are no tanks in Baghdad, and we’ve killed all the enemy, most of them.
I wish I spoke French. There’s a wonderful underplayed video game out there called “Beyond Good and Evil.” In this game, there is a bar. In this bar, there is a song. This song is sung by a very calm-voiced Frenchman. And the chorus, which I just can’t seem to get out of my head for some inexplicable reason right now, is just one word long.
“Propaganda.”
libby
January 18, 2005 at 11:51 am
15fool me once, shame on you. fool me twice, shame on me.
dread pirate roberts
January 18, 2005 at 1:54 pm
16watch out adam. they’re gonna draft you to replace larry
Sharon
January 18, 2005 at 2:32 pm
17Speaking of “Fool me once…”, Paul Krugman used it as the tag line to his column in today’s NY Times which, unfortunately, requires registration to read. Here is the key point:
“Still, there are two reasons why the selling of Social Security privatization shouldn’t be another slam dunk.
One is that we’re not talking about secret intelligence; the media, if they do their job, can check out the numbers and see that they don’t match what Mr. Bush is saying. (A good starting point is Roger Lowenstein’s superb survey in The Times Magazine last Sunday.)
The other is that we’ve been here before. Fool me once … “
Jerry
January 18, 2005 at 3:23 pm
18Thanks, libby. Yes, that is the “old saying.” But what I quoted was the Yellow Rose, who is chemical-consequence incapable of admitting error. Who says that he may have been intemperate in his “bring it on” remark. Who the next day said that there are no mistakes so egregious that he or his advisors has made that were not wiped out by his 2004 election.
Allison in Santa Cruz
January 18, 2005 at 4:08 pm
19Speaking of people who can’t spell their own names correctly (we weren’t, but I’ll start), such as Mr. Hersh, I was told by a faculty member on one of my doctoral committees that I spell my name wrong. The gist of his point was:
1. I spell my name with 2 l’s
2. The word “all” (note the 2 l’s) is pronounced with a short ‘o’ vowel rather than a short ‘a’ vowel.
3. Therefore, if I want my name to be pronounced “Allison” rather than “Ollison” I should spell it with only 1 l. The 2-l version would properly be prounounced “Ollison”.
And he was dead serious. Needless to say, he didn’t make it onto any of my other committees.
Back to the matter at hand. What I want to know is, who in the Department of Defense actually *writes* these rebuttals? I’m envisioning a “mop-up” team of flunkies who have the unsavory job of ferreting out unflattering articles in newspapers/magazines/etc. and explaining to the world why they don’t reflect the administration’s non-reality-based view of the world. And we pay them to do this. Come to think of it, we also pay Bush’s salary. Ewww.
Jerry
January 18, 2005 at 4:43 pm
20Ollison - You chose WHO WAS ON YOUR COMMITTEES?!?! I might have a PhD if that had been my case! Well, no…but I might have thought about a higher degree! Or not.
I can find no reference for pronounciation of “Allison” that begins with a long O. It is “ali-son” from Germanic to Gaelic!
tess
January 18, 2005 at 5:26 pm
21Allison:
Do you really need to wonder who writes these statements? We’re living in a world where Instapundit and Ayn Coulter have “credibility.” They probably pick someone who’s smart enought to parrot what Faux News says but not smart enough to walk and chew gum at the same time.
Jerry
January 18, 2005 at 5:32 pm
22tess - “Ayn Coulter”! I love it! Save only that Ayn Rand had an internally consistent philosophy, however non-reality-based it was and was not a raging, moronic psycho.
Jerry
January 18, 2005 at 5:37 pm
23tess - they have chosen someone who can’t watch TV and chew pretzels at the same time!
tess
January 18, 2005 at 6:07 pm
24No, if you really think about it, Coulter is consistent; consistently insane.
Tom in Santa Clara
January 18, 2005 at 6:16 pm
25To me, the really scary part is that so many Americans have grown so used to the propanganda coming from the Pentagon and the White House! I’m with Seymour on this one, and while listening to the Condi Rice hearings today I’m sure that military action against Iraq will happen, but this time under the guise of the ‘mideast initiative’.
Jerry
January 18, 2005 at 6:24 pm
26Tom - Iran, ya mean? I know it’s hard to keep track of who our current victims, uh, enemies, uh,…well, you know what I mean, are.
Tom in Santa Clara
January 18, 2005 at 6:42 pm
27Iran, Iraq….all them I countries start to look alike after awhile!
david
January 18, 2005 at 6:57 pm
28Internal consitency is no measure of anything greater than itself. If you’re wrong, you’re wrong, and if you’re nuts, well, yeah, you could be Ann Coulter.
The assholes in the administration have become frighteningly internally consistent(and only internally, being utterly uninterested in anything outside their Crawford worldview - although don’t blame Crawford - the editor of that little paper in Crawford endorsed Kerry, Lobster love him).
Allison in Santa Cruz
January 18, 2005 at 8:46 pm
29Jerry — Thanks for looking up the origin of my name! I’ve never bothered to do it myself, and I’m glad to hear that my parents didn’t screw up royally by dubbing me with the 2-l version. And I’ve never heard of ANY version of my name being pronounced to rhyme with the word “all”.
And yes, in grad school you get to choose who is on your committees. That somehow doesn’t make orals any less heinous, though! As it was, I barely made it out of grad school alive and sane (some might argue that last one). If I had to deal with a committee not of my choosing, I would have bailed after the first term.
pjk
January 19, 2005 at 5:39 am
30The explanation I heard most recently was “Well, ya know, the Pentagon is always working on several scenarios” line of bullshit.
That would seem to suggest that they have a contingency plan in the case that the general population rises up and marches on Washington with torches and pitchforks, for reasons other than hailing the doofus at his coronation.
Perhaps this would lead us to the so-called “exit strategy” from Iraq, in which case only essential personnel would stay in-country, to continue the construction of our permanent military facilities being built on the ruins of Babylon.
david
January 19, 2005 at 10:45 am
31pjk,
Your final paragraph seems to me to be the long and short of it. Another footprint of an anti-intellectual, ruthless pursuit of narrow “national self interest.” Guernica/Fallujah - it just gets better and better.
Monty Zoom
January 19, 2005 at 11:06 am
32You knew it was only a matter of time before we invaded Cambodia… I mean Iran!
zauberberg
January 20, 2005 at 5:05 pm
33You remember when W said there were “no plans for invading Iraq” on his desk? That was later proven true, because those plans had been approved and forwarded to the Pentagon for implementation.
Soon, he’ll say it about Iran…
PS - Ayn Coulter is skankilicous.
Lynne
January 21, 2005 at 10:03 am
34According to an article by Seymour Hersh published this week in The New Yorker, U.S. officials have been trying to get to the bottom of Iran’s nuclear puzzle through a covert operation inside Iran that has been under way since last summer.
Defense Department officials said the article was filled with mistakes but did not deny its basic point.
01/21/05 08:20 EST
Copyright 2005 The Associated Press
david
January 21, 2005 at 7:43 pm
35Lynne,
It’s all in the connotation of “mistake,” as in “Si, it was a mistake for you to reveal this.”
But I’m not sure why they give a shit. They can do whatever they want, whenever they want, including outing Valerie Plame and annihilating Falluja, and will continue to do so until and unless reality (or Lobster) decides to slap their asses silly
(C’mon, Lobster, get up out of your Laz-E-Boy - quit treating this insanity like a spectator sport).
-
Dr. Larry Ollison
July 30, 2005 at 12:39 pm
36About the Allison vs. Ollison name thing….
It is refreshing to know that after all these years I have actually been proncouncing my surname correctly. Many have tried to get me to pronounce it with a long O but without sucess.
It is to be pronounced the same as Allison should be pronounced. An “A” followed by two “l’s” is the same sound as an “O” followed by two “L’s.” (holly, jolly, Molly, folly)
Now I can sleep secure knowing that my hillbilly family from the Ozarks taught me correctly.
Thanks again,
Dr. Larry Ollison, Ph.D.