It’s come to my attention that I’ve been nominated again for a “Koufax Award,” once again in the category of “Most Humorous Blog.”
Don’t vote for me.
No, seriously. I know that the majority of you, dear readers, aren’t really big readers of other blogs. Nor am I. But I’ve won this award before, and I urge you to look into the other nominees - you might pick up another daily read. Some of those other humorous political blogs are snazzier and harder-working than mine, and I’d love to see one of the more deserving ones win. Norbizness comes to mind - a terrific, amusing, frequently-updated blog. In fact, yes, my pick is Norbizness.
It’s entirely possible I’ll be nominated for “Most Humorous Post,” and I’d imagine that’d be for the “Concession Speech.” Wouldn’t mind winning that one, actually, but my self-esteem doesn’t hang on it.
But all this has made me think about the “political blogosphere.” I have to confess I feel like a bit of an outsider among these outsiders, because of all the Things I Don’t Do:
- I don’t offer an extensive list of links, also known as a “blogroll.” They’re a nifty way to get others to link back to you, thus increasing your readership. I just don’t have the stamina. A quick survey of these rolls show that many bloggers have several hundred other sites that they “read daily,” which shows either dazzling reading skills or dazzling disingenuousness. I don’t even read my own site daily, not even as I write it. Right now, for instance, I’m off playing tennis.
- I don’t use the lingo. Left wing bloggers are now calling themselves “the reality-based community,” which is pretty clever. Right wing bloggers are calling them “idiotarians,” which is slightly less so. As in George Bush’s world, everyone in the blogosphere has nicknames - the politicians, the punditry, even the bloggers themselves. There are code words, buzzwords, creative misspellings, a whole vocabulary of web-based punditry. I don’t dislike it - it’s a matter of characters rather than character; the lingo is just not very useful to someone who spends a lot of time writing in various personas.
- I don’t “amen.” Often a poli-blogger will post something just to let you know that someone else said something interesting about some third person’s opinion about a story in the news. These entries usually take a form like, “Framis makes some good points about Kreego’s take on the whole Whooflepiff thing. Check it out.” There are some who’d say that my failure to do this is ungenerous. But I actually said it first.
- I don’t post that often. Good bloggers post every day. Very good bloggers post several times a day. Me… no. I post when I have something funny or interesting to say. Which is, sadly, only an occasional circumstance.
All this leads to something I’ve been realizing lately: I’m not a blogger.
See, I was a blogger, back in the old days, back when I started this site over three years ago, back when Democrats roamed the earth and you could buy “low-fat” food instead of “low carb” and you could get a big lunch and a full tank of gasoline for a nickel and etc. But the blog is a bit like the television program: It started as a medium and became a format. I’m too lazy to get with the times - I have enough formats that I have to write to in my daily life. Yes, friends, I’ve managed to reach fuddyduddyhood whilst still in my 30’s, an amazing feat when you think about it. I’m shooting for “curmudgeondom” by the time I’m 40, and then I’ll be off to an early geezerment.
So I guess I’m more like a columnist. One who doesn’t get paid and writes for a “paper” with a daily circulation of about a thousand, yes, but a columnist nonetheless.
All that said, I like blogs. Especially the political ones. They tend to be shrill, clubby, smug, irresponsible, and unthinkingly biased, yes. But I love ‘em. Stories break on blogs. Stories are kept alive on blogs. Blogs aren’t beholden to giant media conglomerates. Blogs are actually in an odd way all that they’re cracked up to be - independent, dogged, and good for America. One of the last bastions of true journalism, if not democracy itself, might well be the noble blog.
This just isn’t one of ‘em.
So please, hie thee hence over to Wampum, and follow the links to see what people have nominated. Vote for your favorites. I guarantee that you’ll find at least a couple of treasures worth bookmarking.
But then make sure you come back here and continue to grouse in our personal Komedy Kloister. A guy can’t reach old-foopitude alone. Not these days.





32 comments
Don
January 10, 2005 at 12:14 am
1Ahhh, for the good old F.A.F. days, eh Adam?
Alas, there’s not even a place for me to post my own personalized avatar over here.
Jerry
January 10, 2005 at 3:07 am
2Damn! I thought that by commenting here I was part of a clubby, smug elite. Now I’ll have to round up a couple of rattlesnakes, and join that church in the old pig slaughterhouse down the road. Nothing clubbier and smugger than knowing that you and a few friends are the only ones going to heaven.
norbizness
January 10, 2005 at 9:12 am
3THanks for the recognition, Adam. Of course, now that I’ve gotten it, I really don’t feel like blogging anymore. Thanks a lot, idiotarian!
P.S. Learn to post when you don’t have anything funny or interesting to say. It’s my secret to virtually hundreds of page hits (unique readers: 22) a day, AND the reason I’m dating that Brazilian Victoria’s Secret model.
julia
January 10, 2005 at 9:19 am
4Just beautiful.
That’s the nicest way I’ve ever seen anyone turn down an award.
Ken, Just Ken
January 10, 2005 at 1:08 pm
5Adam,
Oh I see what you’re doing:
“I’m too humble to receive this award… I only post when I’m funny (rather than posting any old thing)… Please don’t vote for me, I’m too old fashioned and traditional”
Bravo, very clever.
Now we have to vote for you, or we’ll feel that we’re trying to be too trendy.
;-)
-Voting for Felber (he shamed me into it)
adam
January 10, 2005 at 1:38 pm
6heh heh…. gotcha!
[seriously, vote for norbizness. He drops by HERE, fercryinoutloud… and he dates Brazillian swimsuit models.]
Thompson
January 10, 2005 at 2:11 pm
7Hang on, he dates Brazilian swimsuit models, and we’re -supposed- to vote for him? I mean, don’t get me wrong, I don’t know this guy from ad… er… a biblical progenitorial figure, but in my book having a Brazilian lingerie model for a girlfriend uses up one’s allotment of good fortune. I’ll tell you what–if he’s willing to share with the whole class, he can have my vote. Yeah. If he gets a Brazilian swimsuit model of appropriate gender for -every- Felberite who wants one, I’ll vote for him. Incidentally, Norbizness, I prefer brunettes and prompt delivery.
tess
January 10, 2005 at 2:40 pm
8Woohooo! I’m a clubby liberal elitist because I read about 20 left-wing blogs a day! Admittedly I only bother with your comments, Adam, because I’m a LAZY, clubby, liberal elitist.
I always wondered about those enormous blogrolls. I take about a half-hour just to read through Atrios’s daily posts, and it always seemed like bloggers with giant blogrolls didn’t have anything else to do except read the blogs they link to — how do they find time to post anything? But now I know — they’re posers scraping up more traffic for themselves. Yay!
norbizness
January 10, 2005 at 3:08 pm
9Someone’s going to have to chloroform Tess, she’s stumbled on our (and by “our”, I mean “my”) dirty little secret. The correct ratio, incidentally, is 53% poser, 47% raiding other sites to steal content.
Thompson: Did I say “dates”? No, I meant “uses picture as background wallpaper.” Close, but no cigarillo.
dee
January 10, 2005 at 3:40 pm
10I myself am voting for Framis.
Damned funny stuff.
Thompson
January 10, 2005 at 4:03 pm
11Dammit! My hopes! My dreams! Dashed! Dashed, I say! -grumble grumble mope whine pout-
Mary Kay
January 10, 2005 at 4:13 pm
12How come these Koufax Awards don’t include a category for Best Commenters? I want to nominate several of FA’s regulars.
tess
January 10, 2005 at 4:56 pm
13Hey! I’m all for posing, so don’t get any funny id- (muffled exclamation) *thud*
Murray
January 10, 2005 at 7:58 pm
14Adam,
Your post is like Jesus asking his disciples to vote for Buddha, or Vishnu, or that guy Satan.
Comeonman, you should know us better.
We are proud CyberFELBERnauts!
I would like to nominate:
Jerry as the best informed and most regular commenter, (out of all of us irregulars)
Tess as the most emotionally charged
Mary, Dee and Allison as our favorite professors
Katie, as the best Clarinet playing commenter in the armed services.
Littlebit, Landis, Thompson, Mary Kay, Don, Tim, K Just K, Johnnnyboy, Hedra, Sue, ABM, =e=, and an awful lot of other great commenters that I’m too dull to remember (I apologize for missing you), as the best insight/humor at any given time. (Anyone seen John Isbel lately?)
jerry-the-conservatroll as our favorite counterpoint/lightning rod
Momma, for being the best commenter/novelist/person most responsible for Adam.
Sorry, gotta go vote.
Allison in Santa Cruz
January 10, 2005 at 8:11 pm
15Well heck, Adam, I don’t WANNA read another blog! I have to work in the time to read yours on a more-or-less-daily basis, and I almost never have time to comment even though I almost always want to. The last thing I need is another way to waste (I mean, “spend”) more time not working on the Internet. But I might be persuaded to mosey on over to check out what Norbizness is up to when he’s not here.
And, to be entirely honest, one of the reasons I crash in here is to read the comments. I realize that we are all following Adam’s excellent lead, but I do think this group is made up of clever, cogent, and coherent writers. I’m pleased to be considered part of the group, given my status as a relative newcomer and occasional poster.
Hey Tess, are you underwater yet in SLO? We’re pretty soggy up here in Santa Cruz, but nowhere near as much as you, probably.
All of you down in southern California, take care of yourselves, okay?
tim
January 10, 2005 at 9:37 pm
16I was going to ask you all on the West Coast how you were making it through the “Pineapple Express”. Or was it the “Cocoanut Cream Pie”? “Poi Boy”? …”Bananarama”? I guess I’m an abject failure at naming weather phenomena.
Speaking of abject failures, come read my blog! You’ll be caught up in minutes. It won’t win a Koufax, but there’s a rumor it’s in line for a CJ Nitkowski (he’s a very bad left-handed pitcher who has his own web site, which nobody ever reads either. Trust me, that was funny!)
tess
January 10, 2005 at 10:24 pm
17Allison,
It’s soggy down here. It’s times like these that I wish all my classes were on hills so I wouldn’t have to wade through lake-sized puddles and just had to ford street-streams.
I can’t think of anything to nominate Murray for, other than being one of the best-informed and sharpest bullshit detectors among us.
Tom in Santa Clara
January 10, 2005 at 10:45 pm
18To all the Californians here….I’m as soggy as you too, but the south has had the worst of it! Let’s hope that the next week brings us some dry…or at least as dry as Adam’s wit usually is!
Emmarie
January 10, 2005 at 11:16 pm
19Adam, you’ve got to teach us the skill of doing something while being somewhere else. But I think it’s rather wasted on playing tennis…I would sleep while “doing homework” or “studying.” Hell, I could even sleep while “sleeping.”
Katie
January 10, 2005 at 11:48 pm
20Murray:
Warn me when you’re gonna do something like that… I almost shorted out my keyboard with snorted Diet Dr Pepper!
Murray, I nominate you(and Jane) for the “Best Christmas Letter Ever”.
Not that your witty, and often pointed, commentary isn’t cause for nomination; but the Burns & Allen style letter was the best thing I got for Christmas!
Katie
Jerry
January 11, 2005 at 1:58 am
21And a special “Beacon of Sanity in a Hillbilly District” to Murray. And I second the nomination on the Winter Solstice letter and pics. And add an honorable mention in the “My Roof’s Got a Hole in It” catagory.
julia
January 11, 2005 at 7:00 am
22there is a best commenter award, and by some incredible coincidence Norbizness is nominated for it (I happen to know)
Mary
January 11, 2005 at 10:28 am
23I would like to second and third Murray’s nominations. The Felbernauts here are part of this blog’s appeal!!
Oh, and thank you for the promotion, Murray. I am not a professor, don’t play one on TV and have no intentions of getting a PhD (reasons: murder is against the law.) I’m just a lowly MA. (Only in a college town is someone with a Master’s degree considered under-educated. Go figure ;-D )
Bill
January 11, 2005 at 10:36 am
24A very un-funny comment (sorry), but thanks to this “blog” I’m quite able to withstand political events of the day. Many thanks, and I’ve gotta vote my heart…
Momma in New Yawk
January 11, 2005 at 1:33 pm
25Yes, right, sure. Ask me to vote for someone else.
When my son is nominated???????
As if.
You want all my ancestors to rise up from their graves and get me?
huh
…and thanks Murray. I AM responsible for Adam, and I never ever let him forget it. Not for a minute.
A momma has responsibilities.
ta.
Mary
January 11, 2005 at 2:35 pm
26Miss Edith rules!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Murray
January 11, 2005 at 4:48 pm
27Katie,
WARNING! WARNING! The following comment may contain material deemed humorous by some. Do not read while operating heavy machinery or while consuming liquids near high voltage appliances.
Now I just have to think of something funny,… this could be a while.
dread pirate roberts
January 12, 2005 at 10:35 pm
28if you ever read this adamthank you for only posting when you feel like it!
good luck with tennis.
i’m sure you know the plural of persona.
go for geezerhood. i’m there. its good.
adam
January 13, 2005 at 2:32 pm
29Oh, I read this, yes, yes I do, DPR.
Thanks! And… “personas” is acceptable. I get made fun of for using “personae,” and as you all know, I’m all abour fitting in…
adam
January 13, 2005 at 2:33 pm
30…and when I say “abour,” I mean, of course, “about.” It’s a variant, from the old Gaelic…
[runs away]
kelite
January 13, 2005 at 5:40 pm
31um, i think i am a ‘unique visitor’ in that i have never been here before. and i got here by linking from the wampum list of nominees.
i just wanted to say that the fanatically apathetic have a wonderful suggestion that i wholeheartedly agree with - go to wampum blog and read all of the blogs nominated for every category. yes, it will take a significant amount of time and the ability to read blogs and still appear to be working (which i’m sure you are all proficient at) but it is definitely worth it.
hey, i found you (and several other bookmarkable blogs) there… and even though i voted for jesus’ general to get the koufax award, i still think this blog is pretty funny
David Payne
January 16, 2005 at 2:00 pm
32Adam,
Felber brings to mind febrile. Liberals desperately need a candidate with some fire in his/her belly. Your concession speech met my criteria for reality-based, completely justified umbrage. Any chance of a Tubbs-Jones/Felber ticket?
Pissed in Florida, and damned proud of it