[updating the stories as they develop… newer entries are at the top…]

- Just like yesterday, today was marked by intensive violence and carnage in Iraq. And just like yesterday, there’s nothing about it on TV, presumably because the news networks don’t want to influence the election by reporting actual events.

- Within minutes of the polls opening in Hawaii, all the networks began reporting massive irregularities. Despite the meager 4 electoral votes, CNN and Fox have already branded Hawaii “this year’s Florida.” All the news services strenuously deny that they’re really just looking for an excuse to go to Hawaii.

- Preliminary exit polling shows that at least 60% of the voters in key battleground states are “fat.” Both sides are taking heart from this - Democrats believe the overweight tend to have poor nutrition stemming from poverty and limited opportunity, while a Republican strategist tells me “Tax cuts pay for cold cuts. Fat voters know this.”

- There are reports of some unrest in Florida. One source describes the problem as “zombies.” They are disrupting polling places, suppressing votes, and feasting on the flesh of the living. Florida was clearly unprepared to for this, and there will have to be major electoral reforms in ‘08.