I’ve only been back in LA for an hour or so, having returned from Baltimore triumphant. Last night was my one-and-only campaign appearance alongside my running mate Peter Sagal (we figure that if you get it right the first time, why would you have to keep doing it? The other campaigns should take note).

Things only got better when I heard from my book agent moments after returning. He told me that the Executive Editor in Chief of Random House, Daniel Menaker, was taking the week off to work for the campaign in Ohio. Yep, the guy who’s publishing my book next year is Getting Involved. And he’s writing a journal about his experiences over at Slate.

“That’s great!” I said. “My numbers in Ohio haven’t been terrific, so that’s just the boost my campaign needs!”

“Uh, yeah,” said my agent. “Oh, look, I have another call…”

He’s a busy man. But it was with a glad heart that I went on over to Slate to read Mr. Menaker’s engaging, insightful, enthusiastic chronicle of his experiences…

…working for John Kerry.

It’s a blow, certainly. It’s not that Dan and I have ever actually talked about my campaign. Or ever really talked at all, really, if you want to get all technical about it. But I’m one of his writers, fergodsakes. Kerry’s “A Call to Service” was published by Viking, a division of Penguin. Not Random House. What gives?

And Ohio’s one of my problem states, I admit it. Recent polls put my name recognition at “nonexistent,” “0%, plus or minus… 0%,” and “as unrecognizable as Carol Burnett after her latest round of surgeries” (that last one strikes me as unnecessarily cruel, both to me and Carol. Someone oughta teach that Zogby fellow some manners…). My own internal numbers, using “Push Recognition” polling*, show me doing a little better, garnering a respectable 64%. But still, it’s not great. So Dan’s betrayal hurts all the more.

I suppose the reason is obvious: If I become President of the United States, Menaker worries that my career as a novelist might take a back seat. He wants to keep me on the plantation. It’s reasonable, albeit somewhat Machiavellian. How would John Kerry feel if he knew that a big New York book editor was only working for him in order to squash the political hopes of one of his writers? We’re both being used here, that much is clear.

But I’m taking it in stride. There’s still plenty of time until Election Day, and I don’t see any reason to complain too much or spend the money in my war-chest until at least the weekend. After that, though, watch out. I’ll be coming out of my corner swingin’.

* “Push Recognition” polling is a technique that I developed in-house. The method is simple: I call voters, tell them my name, and then call back in about 10 minutes and ask if they recognize me.