A Letter to The Press

From last week’s debate:

BUSH: In all due respect, I’m not so sure it’s credible to quote leading news organizations about — oh, nevermind. [chuckles]

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Dear Members of Leading News Organizations;

Hi! Just wanted to point out that little bit from the debate. You know, in case you wanted to, you know, like, do something about it.

Sure, maybe the President was just referring to Dan Rather and that whole forgery thing… but I don’t think so. I think he was talking about you. No, not the media as a whole, not even your network or newspaper - you. Sitting right there. In that chair. Reading this. Yes, you.

See, I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but for the past decade or so, you and your profession have been repeatedly hammered by folks, particularly conservatives. There have been all kinds of books and radio shows railing about how biased you are, how unprofessional, how untrustworthy. And between 1989 and 2003, public trust in the media slipped from 54% to 36%. It’s almost as if there’s some correlation between these attacks aimed at undermining public confidence in the news media and the fall of public confidence in the news media.

And what have you and your brothers and sisters who ply your trade done about it? What have you done to answer the Bernard Goldbergs and Ann Coulters and Michael Savages? Largely, you’ve fought them by welcoming them onto your shows and letting them spread their message without any official response from the very network that’s airing them. You’ve made the polite assumption that they were talking about someone else, and sought to demonstrate your integrity and fairness by letting them come on and trash you (yes, you) thoroughly and repeatedly. You’ve employed the cunning strategy of giving your self-proclaimed enemies everything they’ve asked for while avoiding doing anything that might be construed as “defending yourself.”

Me, I think that this approach might not be working. Just one man’s opinion, there. Might not be working.

So now that you and your organization have been bullied by the right, the left has come forward to say that you’re biased against them. Again, you’ve been really really polite about this, never being confrontational or defending yourself in any noticeable way.

And, just last week, the President of the United States of America got up and used your organization to once again insinuate that your organization sucks. The message wasn’t lost on the President’s supporters, many of whom are crowing about their boy comin’ out there and stickin’ it to you.

Now I don’t know you very well, so maybe I’m off-base in assuming that you have dedicated your life to reporting or disseminating news in as fair and accurate a fashion as you possibly can. Maybe I’m wrong when I assume that you take pride in your work and are somewhat dismayed by the fact that you are being repeatedly smacked around and haven’t lifted a finger to defend yourself or your integrity.

Maybe I’m wrong about that.

But it seems to me that if you care about your profession and acknowledge that it can only survive if your reporting is believed by the public, and if you concede that due to endless unanswered attacks the public no longer believes your reporting… well, then maybe it would be a good idea to abandon this whole “doing nothing about it” approach.

If you’re allowed one bias in your job, it should be a bias towards yourself. It’s not unfair to tell people that you think you’re being fair. It’s not like, historically, the press has never defended itself before.

Now, I don’t devote too much of my time to attacking the news media. But I’m going to do it just this once, and I’m going to do it specifically to you, sitting in that chair, reading this. You are a craven, yellow-bellied wimpus without the integrity or guts to stand up for yourself. Yes, you. I said it. Your momma wears adult diapers, but I loved her all night last Wednesday anyway. Awww yeah, yeah I did! Your pappy’s got nail polish on his toes, and he cleans my bathroom with his tongue whenever I ask him. Awwwwww shit - I just went there!

That’s right, li’l ol me, a comedian with limited connections - I’m calling you out. What are you going to do about it?

It would be good practice.

Love,

Adam