Did you watch last night’s Emmy Awards broadcast? Don’t worry, I watched them so you wouldn’t have to�

What Liberal Media?
It’s no secret that most of the people in Hollywood are liberal Democrats, and � Oh, wait, apparently now it is a secret. Yes, faced with what is agreed upon by most to be the Most Important Election of Our Time, the stars came out last night to make only the most veiled and unspecific references to politics. Or the war. Or the rash of media-bashing, monitoring, legislating, and fining in the wake of Janet’s Right Breast’s Big Adventure. There were two rather unpolitical AIDS references and one statement about gay marriage, but that seems a bit low considering that the big winner, with 11 Emmys, was Tony Kushner’s beautiful “Angels in America.”
It’s probably a result of several years of relentless Hollywood-bashing by the right, of course, and the ploy seems to have worked: Just when you need us most, we in the entertainment industry are keeping our big mouths shut.

The Daily’s Night
The only person to mention the upcoming election and its participants by name was Jon Stewart. Huge congratulations to my pals, writers Eric Drysdale and Chris Regan on their 3rd writing Emmy. You might remember Chris as our guest blogger back in March. Interesting Fact: Chris and Eric live in the same apartment, work in the same office, and frequently go to work sharing a single pair of pants, yet they haven’t spoken since 1983!*

The Emmy Awards Awards
Host Garry Shandling wins my award for “Most Openly Hostile to Reality TV.” Not a daring or consequential statement, but it was the most conviction that was displayed all night. Elaine Stritch wins the “Liza Minelli Krazy with a K” prize, and I’m sure the internet is buzzing today with praise for her selfless commitment to giving the other winners something to talk about.

Hoo-ah!
Coming in at exactly three hours, this was truly Mussolini’s Emmys; the trains ran on time, yes, but there was a palpable lack of freedom and an air of oppression. The clock started ticking on winners before they even reached the stage, and their speeches were aborted by orchestral swells that were markedly less subtle than the gentle musical hints you’re accustomed to. Those who braved their way through those opening swells found themselves just beyond the breakers at a bizarre moment of calm where they had a few more seconds to finish their speech before a tidal wave of violin-heavy shmaltz knocked them back to their seats.

But there was one man whom the Powers That Be considered above the rules. Walking cartoon Al Pacino, who has devoted his last decade to eradicating the scourge of subtlety in acting, was allowed to ramble at will, and he apparently still has a lot of will. Yes, despite his adherence ever since “Scent of a Woman” to the Ralph Kramden School of Acting, Al is still a Legend who cannot be messed with.

So when his “Angels” counterpart Meryl Streep won her award, you might expect that she would receive the same treatment, right? Wrong. Meryl was afforded the standard ten seconds and then had to finish her speech amidst the string section. Sexism? Nah, I think Al just plain scares people.

Fashionista Felber’s Frocklore
I’m probably not the right guy to give you a rundown of fashion trends on the red carpet, as there are only a couple of things that I tend to notice (and yes, they’re generally round, soft things). But as long as we’re talking about that, I did take note of something: You might remember that the past few years featured a rage for the newly-discovered frontier of “side cleavage,” and the award shows featured a parade of gowns that cunningly displayed the edges of celebrity breasts, nestled enchantingly into each celebrity armpit. No more. This was the Year of the Keyhole Dress, though we’re apparently talking about some fairly sizable keys. Still, if the Oscars-to-Emmys progression is any indication, I’d say that Hollywood is finally starting to recover from WardrobeMalfunctiongate, and the eerily unpendulous fruits of multiple plastic surgeries are now once again dangling (or rather, hovering ) before the cameras, asserting their right to be seen. It’s not exactly a political statement, but it’s the closest we got to one last night; a mute, saline-filled rebuke to the Bush administration’s repressive policies.

*This blog takes no responsibility for the veracity of our Interesting Facts, which are produced independently by a somewhat reliable source that may or may not be related to or even be the author(s) of this blog.