I think I’ve given the other candidates enough of a head-start. So starting Monday, next Monday, I’m going to actually get out there and campaign for the job of President of the United States of America.

… thank you…. Thank you.

Some have said that I’ve been “lazy” about this, that my approach has been “dumb,” that maybe I’m not “paying enough attention” to my “campaign.” Well, if they think I’m lazy and I’m dumb, I’ve only got this to say: I’m a proud American, just like you and me. Are they calling America lazy? Are they calling America dumb? Are they calling US dumb and lazy? Well, John Kerry, George Bush… I don’t think so! Thank you. Nuh-uh! Thank you.

Anyway, others have implied that I’m not really campaigning next week, that I’m merely getting into a car with my wife and my cat and driving from New York to Los Angeles because I’m moving there. WHAT!? Sure, I’m moving, but I have decided to postpone my move so that I can campaign and meet the people of this beautiful nation. The folks in the great states of New York, Pennsylvania, Ohio, Indiana, Illinois, Missouri, Oklahoma, Texas, New Mexico, Arizona, and California, respectively.

I ask you, is that exhaustive tour the route of a man who’s “just passing through?!” I think not! Thank you… thank you. I think that over the next week or so, America is going to get to know Adam Felber on a grass roots level. And once they see my grass roots, well, they’re gonna like what they see. So buckle up, America, your next President is comin’ your way, shaking babies and kissing hands. God bless you, and God bless me, too.

[Note: Some of candidate Felber’s “Definitely Not Just Driving to L.A.” Campaign Tour stops include: A Comfort Inn near Oklahoma City, a Mobil station in Columbus, and a Wendy’s Drive-Thru window near Flagstaff. Watch this site for more exciting Felber campaign events!]